Sleep versus money

Do you wake up from a good night’s sleep and say, “Wow, I feel like a million bucks”?  You’re more spot on than you think because the effects of improving the quality of your sleep are similar to the effects of winning the lottery.  Why is sleep worth its weight in gold?  Because your physical and emotional health are improved and you’re more productive.  It’s calming to finish your everyday tasks.  You don’t carry the weight of the unfinished jobs into your bed.  Pay attention to your sleep hygiene which includes the quality of your bed, your pillows and linens and your habits.  Stay off your devices, keep your room dark and cool, no booze, caffeine or food two hours before bed, maybe get a weighted blanket and put on one of those stories from the Calm app.  Sure, beds are expensive and no, you didn’t win that lottery, but invest in your health.  You’ve got a long road ahead to raise those kids and enjoy your grandbabies!

What could go wrong?  Toddlers and dogs.

Babies and puppies.  Toddlers and dogs.  Dogs are super great for kids.  They teach them empathy.  They are unconditional friends and they actually improve your kid’s immune system.  But let’s re-think this.  Dogs are a much better fit for kids who are older and who have more mature impulse control.  It’s the kids under 4 who are at greatest risk of a dog attack and since most bites occur to the face, ask yourself if you can live with that.  The optimum combo is an older dog and a kid who’s 6 or so.  Get a breed that’s known to be kid crazy and check the background for abuse as those dogs need more time and patience than you can give them.  Spend time with the dog before adoption and consider kid-training with a pro to avoid the terrible awful.  Never leave your child along with Fido no matter how long you’ve had him.  Kids and dogs are a great combo if you’re smart about it.

Being held hostage by a begging preschooler

You’ve been blessed with a baby and now she’s 4 and fierce.  You know that once you go into a store, she’s gonna want something, anything.  It’s gotta gotta gotta have it or I’m gonna die right now kind of want it.  Here’s what you do.  Despite the futility, in the car and at the door, you tell her that if she wants something, you and she can have a chat and if you say, “No”, then it’s no.  She’ll agree to anything.  Now, she’s clutching the doll with the beaded necklace and you see what’s going to happen.  You stop and take a breath.  You kneel down on one knee and say, “We’re here to buy Joey’s birthday gift and that’s all.  You’re not Joey”.  When she starts begging or screaming, ignore her.  Pick her up, grab Joey’s gift and despite all of the chaos, pay for it and leave.  Don’t talk to her.  Ignore everyone.  She’s trying to figure out the rules and just how tough you are.  Do it now or you’ll be her hostage forever.

Coffee and your life span

Most of us gotta have our black jet fuel in the morning.  We add sugar and cream, but no matter how you take it, it’s your daily ritual.  One day, science says it’s great for your health and the next, it’s terrible for you.  Still, there are 5 tried-and-true agreed-upon health benefits.  The American Heart Association has found that coffee lowers the risk of death.  Science says that coffee provides critical antioxidants.  They’re the substances that slow aging and prevent disease by blasting those pesky free radicals.  Coffee improves your mood, especially if you’re female.  It lowers inflammation which is the scourge of modern-day humans because it causes many diseases.  Coffee reduces the risk of Alzheimer’s, the chances of coming down with prostate cancer in men and Type 2 diabetes.  Drink up and enjoy a longer life so you can spend more years with your grandchildren!

Are you having an emotional affair?

You have no intention of going over THAT line, but the fact is, you’re having an emotional affair.  This relationship isn’t as well-defined as physical infidelity, but it’s an intense and special bond.  Here’s how you tell you’re having an emotional affair.  You’re more excited to see them than your partner.  You’re an expert on their lives.  You go out of your way to do things for them.  You talk about them constantly and have fantasies of a future with them.  You’re defensive when someone points out how close you are.  In your relationship with your partner, you’re detached and have a negative attitude.  You complain about them.  The romance has dropped off.  You argue with them more.  You’re hiding your relationship by changing your tech habits.  You’re feeling like a third wheel in your own relationship.  Don’t confuse your kids.  If your marriage is over, face it and take action.

The two things you need to be happy with your job

Unhappy with your job?  Not sure why?  The reasons might be too subtle for you to notice, but when it happens, you grumble and tell yourself that you’re getting another job.  Work is likely to be more stressful and cause depression when you have little control over your day or aren’t allowed to solve problems on your own.  These two conditions, called autonomy, are very powerful.  Think about your job and the level of autonomy you have.  You’re likely not to have it if you work on an assembly line, but if you’re a surgeon, you have a great deal of autonomy and the responsibility it brings.  This independence also protects people whose jobs are intensely demanding.  If you have autonomy with a very demanding job, you’ll stay physically and mentally healthier.  Teach your kids about the subtle aspects of jobs that may impact their health and satisfaction with work.  It’s important.

The side effects of biting your fingernails

It’s disgusting and makes you look anxious and childish.  Biting your nails can also make you sick.  When you bite your nails, you’re taking in the germs hidden in your nail beds and under the nails themselves.  Yuck.  Biting your nails can cause painful infections and give you horrible breath.  You spread bacteria from nail to nail resulting in pusy blisters.  If you have warts on your fingers, they get spread, too.  Lovely, a wart on your lip!  Biting your nails takes its toll on your teeth.  All of that chewing can push your teeth out of place and even break them.  You’ll get hangnails and ingrown nails.  You’ll have to see a doctor.  If you polish your nails, you’ll get toxins from nail products in your mouth which can then travel to other parts of your body.  Sure, it’s not a lot of toxins, but do you know how they’ll impact your health?  Break this unhealthy habit now.  If you need to see a therapist, then do it!

Your brain under the influence of devices

It looks innocent enough, but that cell phone has a dark side.  When it comes to the brain, your smartphone is a drug delivery device.  Ever been hooked up to a morphine pump?  When you hit the button, the pain is gone.  Instead of morphine, the smartphone gives us hits of dopamine which is the extremely addicting reward juice of the brain.  You hear that ping that tells you you’ve got “incoming” and yum, your brain gets a dose of dopamine.  It’s your friend texting you, yay, another dose.  You read and respond, “OMG LOL” and it’s another dose.  You get into your car, and text her again.  Bam, a dose.  You buckle up and take off.  She responds while you’re blazing down the highway and that dopamine is so powerful, you look away and pick up the phone before you fully engage your brain to make decisions.  You don’t see the truck stopped in front of you.  The End.

Health risks for flight attendants

Sure, the job looks glamorous, but flight attendants have serious health hazards.  They get cancers more than the general population, a lot more.  Flight attendants get more breast cancer and melanoma than other professions.  They also get non-melanoma skin cancers, uterine, gastrointestinal, cervical and thyroid cancers.  Even having multiple children, doesn’t protect a flight attendant from getting breast cancer.  Being a mother is known to be a protective factor against the disease.  What’s causing this?  Is a disruption in the daily sleep cycle to blame?  It’s associated with an increased risk for cancer.  Is it exposure to carcinogenic chemicals or celestial radiation which is also a cancer risk?  What about frequent fliers?  They haven’t been studied, so no one knows.  More research is needed to develop policies to protect aircraft crews.

Is divorce genetic?

Adopted children have the marital traits of their biological parents.  We used to think that behaviors that led to divorce were handed down psychologically, but now we know that genetic factors better explain divorce.  One of those inherited personality traits is intense negativity, which I call the “Eeyore effect” where nothing is right, and everything is wrong all the time.  Another trait is the tendency to express very strong emotions regardless of the damage they cause.  Also contributing to divorce is the highly neurotic and anxious partner who’s hypercritical and sees every little flaw in their spouse.  Constant criticism leads to skirmishes and a lack of intimacy.  Does this sound like your marriage?  Consider going into therapy to explore your backgrounds to see if inherited personality traits are undermining your “happily ever after”.