Why does a total stranger understand me?

It’s so much easier to tell a stranger your troubles than to tell your friends or family.  Strangers have no investment in you, so they can offer their opinions freely.  Your relationship might be as long as a plane ride or the 10 minutes waiting in line at the post office, so no big deal, you’re not likely to see them again.  And, there’s not as much risk of being judged by a stranger than by people who are in your inner circle.  Yes, these factors help strangers understand you better than your crew, but, it’s the more descriptive and clear language that we use when giving new information to strangers, that bridges the gap.  We assume our friends and family will “fill in the blanks”.  To clearly communicate with our loved ones, stop making assumptions about what you think they know about you.  Spell it all out and skip the shortcuts.  You’ll be surprised what you learn about one another.

Does technology cause infidelity?

Does technology cause infidelity?  No, it doesn’t.  Technology makes it easier.  For those with wandering eyes who are already predisposed to cheat, the digital age gives them the means to do it faster and more conveniently.  For some who stray, the ease of moving from thinking to doing just may mean the difference between staying and going.  People in healthy, satisfying relationships aren’t going to use technology to see what else is on the menu.  Dissatisfaction in the relationship is the driving force behind the itch to wander.  Make sure that the two of you have a strong connection in the real world of real life.  Have an issue?  Sit down and talk openly and honestly about how both of you are feeling and resolve the situation.  Having that consistent problem-solving process is key to a long and fulfilling relationship.

A new approach to getting a good night’s sleep

Some people will try just about anything to get a good night’s sleep.  The latest new idea is to wear sunglasses two hours before going to bed to tell your biological clock that this is now the end of the day.  Edison knew that his light bulb would cause sleep-deprivation and it has.  We have artificial light sources available to us 24 hours a day and now, we have the lure of all of those digital devices pinging away.  In addition, people who don’t get enough natural light exposure during the day are robbing their brains of important clues to regulate metabolism and sleep.  This may be more important to the aging population than it is for the twenty-somethings, so as you age, be more diligent about the quality of your sleep.  There’s a strong link between poor sleep and dementia.  Have the best life possible, put on those shades and get some sleep!

This is what happens when you overeat

Eat a small bit of food every 3 hours to keep from getting fuzzy-headed and hangry.  But, there are times when you overeat.  What happens when you do?  You get that ugly food baby belly.  It’ll take a while for it to go down, so don’t even think about that bikini!  When you swallow food, you also swallow air.  You not only get full, but bloated.  Eat slowly.  When you take in more food than your metabolism can handle, your body tries to burn off those extra calories and you get hot.  Take a cool shower.  If you gorge, you throw off your sleep cycle due to changes in hormones.  Eating too much speeds up your digestive process and you’ll be in the bathroom a lot.  You’ll get nauseous, so drink ginger tea for relief.  And finally, you’ll be exhausted the next day because your body is working overtime.  Be smart.  Eat sensibly!

What time should I do my best work?

If you feel that your mind is at its sharpest in the morning, it’s due to the body’s natural clock where the “fear factor” chemical of cortisol starts up at 6, slows down by noon and ends at about 3 p.m.  You wondered why you needed a cup of coffee or a nap at about 3?  Mystery solved!  The cortisol activation response is a leftover from the ancient brain that gets turned on when light hits your eyes.  Your body feels its best and your brain operates at top performance during those 6 hours between 6 a.m. and 12 noon.  Keep this schedule and you’ll get into bed at a reasonable time, need between 7 and 10 minutes to fall asleep and then, be ready to hop out and take on the day at 6 in the morning.  The world’s most effective and successful people make it a habit to “rise and shine”.  Try it out!  Be a healthy role model for your children.

Factors that help you to stay married

Science tells us about common-sense factors that can help you stay married.  If each of you belongs to one or two social media sites instead of being active on many, you’ll stay married longer.  Being too active on social media undermines the bond you share as a couple.  If you smiled in photos of you as a kid, in high school and in college, you’re likely to be more emotionally stable and positive, a good sign for marriage.  If neither of you has lived with another partner, your chances of divorce increase by 209%.  It suggests a lack of commitment.  If you have sons, you’re 17% less likely to get divorced.  Men don’t want their sons being raised by a woman.  It’s the small and almost unnoticed factors in life that can make or break a relationship.  Staying married is tough, do what you can to increase the odds.

I just can’t get it out of my head.

You’re driving along, minding your own business when a truly great song from your teen years comes on.  You loved that song.  Six hours later, you can’t get rid of it.  You’re losing your mind.  That song is likely to have a greater “stick factor” because it’s upbeat, has a fast tempo and a generic and easy to remember melody.  It’s a unique song.  Most of us, 90%, get an “earworm” like your song, stuck in our heads at least once a week.  It happens when our brains aren’t doing much such as taking a shower or a walk or doing mindless chores.  The brain is always searching for something novel to focus on and a song is a great target.  What do you do to keep your sanity?  Embrace the song.  Listen to a lot of songs.  Don’t work hard to avoid it.  That’s not the way the brain works.  The more you try not to think about it, the more you’ll hear it.  It will fade on its own.

“Mean girls” start at age 4.

Do the “mean girls” just sprout out of the ground as vicious middle schoolers and reach their peak of sadistic behavior in high school?  No!  They usually start at age 4.  Nobody reins them in and it gets worse.  Relational aggression, which is the harm to someone’s relationships or social status, starts in preschool.  Mostly girls do it.  Boys just beat each other up.  What does relational aggression look like?  It’s bullying the friends of enemies, putting rules on friendships and misinterpreting the behavior of other girls as hostile.  Girls who aren’t optimistic and are quick to frustrate resort to these behaviors.  They’re used to getting what they want.  They copy what they see.  Watch your daughters playing.  How do they relate to others?  Help them understand the behaviors that set them off.  Reinforce kindness.  You don’t want your mean girl turning on you.

The dreaded brain freeze!

Really hot and thirsty?  Gulp that ice-cold glass of tea and seconds later, realize your mistake?  When we gulp icy beverages, an artery behind our eyes dilates and presses on a nearby nerve and wham-o, brain freeze.  Rub your forehead like mad, but it’s no use.  What other things happen when you drink cold beverages?  Ice cold water slows your digestion to a crawl by narrowing your blood vessels.  Cold water solidifies the fats you’ve just eaten and take longer to be digested.  Sip room temperature water between bites.  Cold water can give you a sore throat and a stuffy nose by causing the build-up of mucus.  Cold water can decrease your heart rate and you can pass out.  If you’ve just finished a workout, cold water will pass right through you and won’t rehydrate you.  Teach kids to sip, not gulp cold drinks when they’re super-hot and thirsty.

Dagnabit! Does your family have alternative swear words?

I recently read where swearing is a sign of intelligence.  I don’t care what the research says, profanity isn’t OK for a lot of people.  So, what do you do when you hit your thumb with the hammer?  Your family should have an agreed-upon list of cuss word alternatives.  But, they can’t be just any words.  They’ve got to really feel like a cuss word.  They can’t sound “nice”.  Fiddlesticks just ain’t gonna get it.  Some have proposed William Shatner as an alternative.  I kinda like it!  Then, others like “shitake mushrooms”.  Getting closer.  Fungicidal?  OK, maybe.  You and your family may want to have a sit down and come up with goofy-sounding and somewhat realistic words to use in case you need that one serious swear word.  Make sure your kid’s elementary school teacher knows what the word is so that it isn’t mistaken for profanity and your kid ends up in the principal’s office.