The Embodied Jewish Woman with Rena Reiser

Last Wednesday we joined together for the third live Q&A on The Frum Women's Insight Panel! Our topic was "How to Manage NOSH on Purim" Our panelists were Esti Asher, Gila Glassberg, and Yaffi Lvova.

Here are the questions that our panelists answered:

1) There is tons of unhealthy food around on Purim, coupled together with a lack of schedule. How can we make sure to eat healthy food, especially as in Yerushalayim it's on Friday?

2) Trading nosh for money? Is that right? Do you agree? Disagree? What message is that giving? Is it healthy? I'm never totally at peace with it. But I see people doing it all the time.

3) I'm so torn. Should I let my kids eat what they want and they'll naturally learn that eating too much junk makes them feel gross? Or should I put a limit on the amount they eat? It's just one day per year!

4) In the past I've thrown a lot of the extra nosh in the garbage, because neither me or the kids can resist having it in the house. Is that because we have no self control? I feel like some people just aren't wired to have self control and it's not fair to have it there as a temptation. It's human instinct to want to eat when you're hungry. And if you're hungry and there's nosh… It's as if the bechira chofshit goes out the window! What do you think.

5) I still struggle with the onslaught of nosh in my house on Purim. It gets me every year. I'm sure this is a BIG question, but how can I enjoy the nosh without going overboard?

6) How can I limit my kids Nosh intake when I sneak it when no one's looking! I feel like a hypocrite!

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Links to panelists' websites:

Esti Asher: https://www.estiashernutrition.com/

Gila Glassberg: https://gilaglassberg.com/

Yaffi Lvova: https://babybloomnutrition.com/

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Download my free "Tune In Journal" and accompanying guided meditation here.

For more information about my 1:1 sessions and group programs, check out renareiser.com.

Join an Embodied Dance session at renareiser.com/dance.

-What the differences are between masculine and feminine energies -Where feminine and masculine natures are found -What wounding in these areas looks like -What gets in the way of us experiencing our feminine nature -Why we need to practice being feminine in order to feel more feminine -How to practice embodying our femininity -Some questions we can ask ourselves to tap into our feminine nature -How my Embodied Dance sessions can help you strengthen your connection to your femininity

Download my free "Tune In Journal" and accompanying guided meditation here.

For more information about my 1:1 sessions and group programs, check out renareiser.com.

Join an Embodied Dance session at renareiser.com/dance.

Where do we get our inner resources from - from a limited place or an unlimited place? The answer: It depends on how we choose to identify. That's the topic of this week's podcast. Listen in to this episode where I discuss:

• Which part we often tune in from when we go inside to do the inner work
• What ends up lacking when we use this part to tune in
• What happens when we choose to identify differently
• How to tap into the Source of unlimited resources
• What can help us connect to our true selves

P.S. I've updated my free Tune In Journal with this important Step 0. Download it here.

For more information about my 1:1 sessions and group programs, check out renareiser.com.

Join an Embodied Dance session at renareiser.com/dance.

Here are some of the questions that our panelists answered:

1) My child struggles with aggression and dysregulation. Sometimes I literally feel like I'm in a battlefield. And after an hour and a half of dealing with a total explosion, and trying to keep him, me, and my other kids safe, I'm totally wiped. Often I end up in tears from sheer despair and feeling so bashed. What advice do you have to stay calm in those moments, without it wiping your energy? How you replenish your resources afterward. How can you bounce back into real life, after episodes like that?!

2) There are certain of my kids whose demands feel like they are sapping allllllllllll my energy. Like one request feels like I'm being bullied. How can I not translate their requests as FULL BLOWN I NEED THIS NOW demands?

3) Hi! I've been doing a lot of inner work and still have a long way to go. I know that my kids need me a lot more than I am currently giving of myself to them, but I have a hard time putting my "stuff" on hold in order to fully give to them. I have this fantasy wish of being able to fix all my stuff and then come back to my family fully (maybe a time machine so they don't need to wait! :) )

4) A) I myself have my own feeling of not being heard and supported by my own parents. But I also literally cannot be there all the time for my own kids. What do I do with this guilt/need? Their needs vs my needs. I can't seem to find that guilt-free balance. Should I just be ok that they will also feel like their needs weren't met either, and that's just part of life?

B) My Mother had a loving, humble personality, whereas my Dad was a tyrant. Mom never raised her voice nor did she hurt us verbally or physically. To my biggest surprise as a mother of 3, I often follow that father figure. My ongoing attempt to grow as a parent I have been taking parenting courses for decades, yet I still have difficulties parenting after my heart. How do I disconnect myself from that father image, the outbursts, and the negativity?

5) A) How to stay calm, not reactive, in the face of a child who is reactive and triggering your own buttons?

B) This might be more of a general question, but do you have any tips for being more laid back and calm? I am in awe of women who are so relaxed and calm even when their house seems to be flying. BH I have worked on myself and my type A personality, trying to fully internalize that only Hashem is in control. I have recently been focusing on Simcha and regularly reviewing Igeres Haramban and definitely feel improvement, BH. I also know that there is so much Bracha and I am definitely not complaining, but would just love to radiate a calm, cool, collected, and happy presence. Any tips and tricks or mantras would be greatly appreciated! :)

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Links to panelists' contact info:

Jodi Fried: http://loveadventuremom.com

Sara Shaindel Goldwasser: https://awakeninggreatness.co

Chaya Breindy Kenigsberg: [email protected]

Download Rena's free "Tune In Journal" and accompanying guided meditation: https://tuneinjournal.com.

For more information about Rena's 1:1 sessions and group programs, check out https://renareiser.com.

Join an Embodied Dance session at renareiser.com/dance.

• How JWOW! got started
• Which group in the frum world they are helping to navigate
• What experiences in their lives led the leaders to start this organization
• What unique wants and needs this group has

Download my free "Tune In Journal" and accompanying guided meditation here. For more information about my 1:1 sessions and group programs, check out renareiser.com.

Join an Embodied Dance session at renareiser.com/dance.

Why is it so hard to make changes in our lives, whether with food, relationships, technology, or anything else?

Listen to this week's episode where I discuss: - What the missing piece is in the work we do in our lives - Which part of us is imperturbable - Why it's so hard to do the work - The importance of doing the work every day - The distinction between compassion and agreeing with someone - What one question can redirect who is running the show

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Download my free "Tune In Journal" and accompanying guided meditation here.

For more information about my 1:1 sessions and group programs, check out renareiser.com.

Yesterday we kicked off the very first live Q&A on The Frum Women's Insight Panel!

Our topic was "How to be more accepting of my husband." Our panelists were Chana Eisenstein, Kayla Levin, and Rivka Slatkin.

Here are some of the questions that our panelists answered:

1) How can I be accepting of my husband but also want him to change? Can I do both?

2) My husband is an incredible, super-special person. He suffered emotional abuse and neglect as a child and only recently began a journey of diagnosis and treatment for ADHD. He has grown immensely; but the more he grows, the more it becomes clear that certain obstacles - like PTSD and ADHD - will never go away. It is sometimes hard for me to accept that even with therapy (forever?) and medication, he might always be mistrustful, forgetful, a mess, have low self-esteem, hard to find a job, etc. I understand getting through "hard times," but how do I accept a "hard life" without feeling resentful?

3) My husband suffers from low self-esteem and a very poor self-image. How can I show my husband that I accept him if he doesn't accept himself? His inner voice is so much louder than me; on top of that, my "love language" is NOT words of affirmation and I find it difficult to communicate this message to him.

4) I am intuitive and creative, and my husband is black and white, and I'm very sensitive to his energy which often shuts me down. The problem is that he also is home a lot. How can I be more accepting in a way that doesn't affect me?

5) I want to be more accepting of my husband but it's hard because I carry the financial burden and all kid-related responsibilities. He is clueless about these things and in his own world. So I get stressed and anxious and wish it could be different. I don't know how to be more accepting.

6) How can I be accepting of my husband's parenting style when it is so different than mine, specifically in the way we speak to the kids. I deeply believe that children's self-esteems need to be built up and validated so I use a gentle parenting approach (ex giving them time and space to think for themselves and solve conflict - even when quarreling with their sibling, validating their feelings, etc). My husband is more stern and uses harsher language to get the kids to listen and respect him (ex uses threats like taking away their toys for the night). In his more authoritarian approach, it's hard for me to sit back and hear it, because while the short term goal may be reached (ex they do what was told, albeit grumpily), it hurts me to think that it could have been handled much more gently and their self-esteem preserved. My husband is sensitive when I mention our different styles because he believes what he's doing is for their best and I couldn't disagree more so it makes for a lot of tension.

7) My question is, how can I know if I have become accepting, or maybe I am simply numb, to something that really bothered me a lot in the past? I used to try to be somewhat controlling in a certain area, and nowadays I just don't get involved. But I am not sure if that's because I've accepted the situation for what it is, or if I've numbed out because it was so distressing.

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Links to panelists' websites: Chana Eisenstein - http://chanaeisenstein.com/ Kayla Levin - https://kaylalevin.com/ Rivka Slatkin: https://themarriagerestorationproject.com/

Download my free "Tune In Journal" and accompanying guided meditation here.

For more information about my 1:1 coaching and group programs, check out renareiser.com.

I was having a conversation with someone recently about chinuch.

In it we discussed the idea that if we connect to our kids through their misbehavior, they'll learn to continue that misbehavior.

I think there's some truth here, but there's an important nuance that is missing and can change the whole picture.

That nuance is compassion.

We can learn this from the way Moshe Rabbeinu responded to Korach.

Listen in to this week's episode where I discuss:

- Why connecting to your child even through their "negative" behaviors doesn't mean ignoring them - How every behavior is an expression of an unmet need - Yes, even when your child isn't going to bed on time, there's some sort of unmet need - What compassion is truly about - Why compassion isn't counter productive when someone acts against the rules / inappropriately - The ultimate story of compassion in the Torah: the story of Korach, and Moshe Rabbeinu's compassion - The steps of compassion we can learn from Moshe Rabbeinu's response to Korach

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Download my free "Tune In Journal" and accompanying guided meditation here.

For more information about my 1:1 coaching and group programs, check out renareiser.com.

Join an Embodied Dance session at renareiser.com/dance. Try your first class for free!

There are many of us who for years believed we couldn't write.

And this has held us back from using writing as a healing tool.

Enter Yocheved Rottenberg, founder and creator of Write Your Way Home.

Yocheved runs therapeutic writing workshops and has written a book on the same topic.

I've personally taken her workshops several times, and each time walk away with greater awarenesses and integration of parts of myself.

I've been wanting to share her work with you for a while, and so I invited her onto my podcast this week.

Here's what we discuss: - How Write Your Way Home was born - What some differences are between therapeutic writing and traditional therapy - Why you don't have to "like to write" or "be a writer" to do therapeutic writing - How therapeutic writing groups allow you to be in your own private experience and journey while in the containment of a group - The differences between WYWH the workshop and WYWH the book - What you can do when you're feeling combobulated - in 5 minutes

Find Yocheved at www.writeyourwayhome.com.

Download my free "Tune In Journal" and accompanying guided meditation here.

Join an Embodied Dance session at renareiser.com/dance. Try your first class for free!