You can love someone unconditionally and be absolutely unfulfilled. What are the goals that you and your partner have for your marriage?

What are your responsibilities to reach that goal and what are your partners?

Can we have influence with another person and not be controlling or try and have influence OVER another person?

Ultimately, It comes down to - Is this something we can communicate through and find ourselves on the other side of the conflict OR is it possible that the issue is a non-negotiable/deal breaker?

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Loving someone for who they are is one of the greatest gifts you can give another person AND equally there is no greater feeling than knowing you are loved for exactly who/how you are.  

People are constantly changing but there is a difference between who you are as a person and what you are evolving into and changing yourself for your partner.

Rule #1 I don't wanna be with someone who doesn't wanna be with me.
Rule #2 If I'm not true to me - I'm not being true to anyone

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Do you fall in love too easy? Once you are in a relationship do you invest EVERYTHING just to keep the relationship together? How often are you heartbroken because those feelings aren't reciprocated?

Cody and Emil jump headlong into the "Law of Reciprocity" and how it applies to dating.  You'll learn when to "Cool your jets" and when to "Pour gas on the fire" as you date/court/marry that significant other in your life.

Protect your heart and learn to engage in a better way. 

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When you bring something up (complaint) do the people in your life respond by being defensive?
You've likely tried the "I" statements - but there is a better way!

4 Steps of Complaining to strengthen the relationship

1.  Share my feelings and reasons
2. Use a transition phrase - see it from their point of view
3. Share their feelings and reasons
4.  Check-in

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I know you love your teenager but what if you learned that what you were doing was making things worse. Here are the most common don'ts that loving parents do, and what we can do instead. 

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You know those moments when someone makes a comment and it stings? It's not a full on conversation but a "drive by" with a one line zinger instead of bullets. Traditionally we either don't say anything and just seethe, or we call the person out on it, but their passivity turns into innocence and denial. So... How do we respond in a way that helps us protect and defend our boundary without being a butt-head? "Translating."

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How do affairs happen? What are the rules or boundaries for relationships to support trust and it's accompanying vulnerability to instill intimacy? 

This episode addresses two questions from listeners Kim and Kate about relationship boundaries. There are three risk criteria that make relationships with others vulnerable to developing more than just a friendship: Age range plus or minus 7-10 years. Gender orientation (Gay with Gay, Heterosexual with Heterosexual etc., and attraction.  If the "friend" you want is within your age range, attractive and has the same sexual orientation as you - that is a high risk friend. It doesn't mean you can't have that person as a friend but there are things you can do to reduce the likelihood of it developing into a romantic relationship and sabotaging the marriage you have.

Then after addressing these questions I go into how affairs start and how they develop. 

Sharing, leads to caring, caring leads to baring. Relationships either grow or die unless you put strategic limiters in place. 

And just for good measure, Secrecy vs privacy is addressed. 

You have relationship questions you want answered email me at [email protected]!

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How do I transition from work mode to husband father mode?

How do I cope with the sexual abuse my spouse experienced before getting married?

What one piece of advice would I give someone that could make all the difference in their marriage?

One of my biggest pet peeves in life is that we as a society pay a lot of lip-service to the importance of marriage but we don't do much in terms of preparing people for marriage and training them in marriage. It's easier to get a marriage license than it is to get a drivers license. I'm going to share some ways we can relate better with the people in our lives because the quality of our lives depend on the quality of our relationships.

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