The Empowering Working Moms Podcast-Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik

Episode 33: Live Out Your Dreams by Living for You

Society, cultures, organized religion, and other factors dictate our sense of what's acceptable or normal. Because of this, we often involve ourselves with things based on the norm. In our profession, for example, we pursue careers that people highly regard, neglecting what we want to do and who we want to be. Join Dr. Prianca Naik in this episode as she uncovers the root cause of this circumstance, employs strategies to break free, and creates the life envisioned in real life. So tune in to learn more!

In this episode, you will learn:

• People pleasing and its effect on our programming
• The doctor profession and its weight in Indian culture
• Reflecting and discovering what you really want in life
• Allowing yourself to grieve other things, not just death
• What will be essential on your deathbed?

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT]

Before we dive in, I do want to let you know enrollment is open for my 1:1 coaching program for professional moms who are mentally exhausted in survival mode and want to enjoy the life they've worked so hard for. I have four (4) spots in December, so book a call with priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me and apply to work with me. I would love to talk to you. The link is in the show notes.

We start people pleasing at a young age wanting to appease our parents and gain the approval of our teachers. This is good and, well, important in shaping us…however…this external approval and validation, the programming with which we grow up, runs so deep that what we want often becomes what others want. Fast forward 35 years or so, and then find yourself not enjoying this life even though you've busted your butt to succeed and do all the right things; check all the right boxes.

Have you ever asked yourself what you want in life? What job? What kind of a partnership? What kind of social life?

Or are you just living how you saw life should be? What was the norm for your parents and aunts and uncles?

If you're a doctor, did you want to become a doctor, or did you do so to please your parents?

In Indian culture, this is probably no surprise to hear. Being a doctor is often pushed as a prestigious proper profession.

I wanted to be a fashion designer as a young child. I was into fashion, but I never considered it a career because it wasn't stable, and I wouldn't seem smart amongst my family and parents' friends. I also considered becoming a therapist, but that wasn't prestigious enough. I come from a family of physicians. So, of course, becoming a doctor ended up being a dream of mine. Not because my parents told me to do it. But because I believed it to be a noble stable profession that would finally make me worthy. People would know I was brilliant and I could help people.

Indian parties.

Besides helping people, so much of this had to do with external factors. It was what I wanted based on how I'd been programmed.

Take a second to reflect on your own programming. What did your parents want you to be when you grew up? What were their expectations of you? Who did they encourage you to marry? Did you listen?

Now that you're an adult and have the privilege of making your own decisions, what do you want to do with your life?

You get to choose. You get to decide. Whatever your heart desires. It doesn't matter what your parents or others think. You can switch jobs/careers or whatever. You don't have an obligation to others' expectations of you.

In fact, it doesn't matter!

Even if some decisions up until this point have been due to what others want for you, you get to change at any time.

You can start to figure out your life now.

When clients begin their work with me, I have them map out their vision longer term and then shorter term. So many of them find it daunting and difficult. It is like creating a vision for ourselves is not the norm.

Crazy right?!

Society, cultures, organized religion, and other factors dictate our sense of what's acceptable or normal. We can actually empower ourselves to question things and decide what we think is right. For example, Disney fairy tales are unrealistic and create unhealthy expectations for young girls to find their prince.

Also, major tv shows show narcissistic jerks transform without therapy, effort, or coaching and become different people. This is so unrealistic and actually toxic. Yet, this is what is shoved in our faces as normal.

I challenge you to think about how much of your life is lived for you or others who don't walk in your shoes daily.

Think about what you want out of life. The kind of person you want to be. What your life would look like if you made decisions with self-love.

What will be important on your deathbed? People bring this up a lot, but it creates an instant perspective. Though our careers are important, I'm guessing most dying folks are thinking about the trips they took or the impact they made, or the precious time they spent with loved ones.

Take a moment to reflect on what your priorities are. Or what would they be without your parents' input. Or what would they be if another family had raised you? Then, start stretching your brain to think about what you…the purest form of you…before you learned to put everyone else above yourself. What the child in you would have dreamt of…what kind of a career and life she envisioned for herself before someone told her she couldn't dream?

Start writing it down and taking note of it. Have gratitude for the dreams you did make come true so far and create new ones…all of your own. If you have a dream you would like to share but are afraid of being judged, let me know. You can find me on Instagram at priancanaikmdcoaching. Shoot me a dm of your dreams; I will support you. However, I will caution you to be careful regarding who you share these with otherwise. Beware of naysayers and Debbie downers. They'll suck the wind right out of your dreams. Dream big and hold those dreams tight.

As you see this vision, you can begin to create it in real life. The dreams are just for you and no one else. That's the life that will be in alignment with the real you, not the you on paper or the you that you've been trying to be.

Let's get started on making those dreams a reality. If you want to move past mental exhaustion and burnout, book a call with me, praicnanaikmdcoaching.as.me, I have 4 one on one coaching spots open in December.

Episode 32: The Best Way to Deal with Grief

Common in many middle-aged women is feeling sad over the lack of what we thought would be, a mismatch of the picture-perfect life. Yet, many women feel guilty for grieving over such matters, which adds a layer of suffering in thinking we shouldn't ever have negative feelings like grief. Join Dr. Prianca Naik in this episode as she opens the space for women to grieve over various things, even the most trivial ones. She shares that allowing yourself to grieve will help you move past it much more quickly and acquire satisfying happy lives. To learn more about grief and how to process it, tune in to this episode!

In this episode, you will learn:

• What is grief
• Causes of grief
• How to process grief
• Allowing yourself to grieve other things, not just death

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT]

Grief is a natural part of life. And yet so many of us are afraid of it, or we don't want to process it, or we don't know how. Crying is a normal part of life. If we can allow these discomforts, we can move forward. But if we don't process our grief, it can lead to depression, anxiety, etc.

An added layer of suffering in thinking we shouldn't ever have negative feelings like grief or judging ourselves for grieving anything unexpectedly.

Often we think our lives are going to turn out a certain way. We check all the boxes and do all the right things, or so we think, and yet somehow, things aren't the way we thought they'd be. Sometimes we have to grieve the lack of what we thought would be. This is common for many middle-aged women. Looking at your life and having it not be where you want it to be, that mismatch of the picture-perfect and what it is can cause a disconnect that leads to sadness and grief.

A listener reached out to me regarding the loss of her pet hamster. Not just death we grieve but any major change. It could be a job change, a change of partner, or a divorce, grieving the life we thought we would have. Or moving cities and missing our old neighborhood and friends.

When I moved and had to let my nanny go, I cried for two months on and off, missing her after I moved.

Transitions are times of grief as well. To move forward, progress, and transform, we must process our grief and not buffer or ignore it. To live our best life, we have to be able to be uncomfortable and do the work.

Grief can be triggered during the most unexpected times. If it's not a good time, see if you can go to a private spot like the bathroom to be alone and be with it. Be with the grief. Be present with it. There was a time when something sent me into a complete grief spin. I spent 30 minutes with my grief. I cried the hardest and loudest I have in a long time. I played music that reminded me of some of the grief spots. I played the difficult time of the past (which I never do because I don't believe in reliving anything as in it's not productive), but I allowed myself to do a movie of the tough times that brought on this grief, and in doing this, I processed it. Everybody's processing is different. This is what mine looked like.

So how to process it?

Don't run away from the discomfort.

Being able to sit with discomfort is a critical part of this work

Not buffering and being able to be with what comes up

Observe it and not judge it.

It's okay not to be okay.

Society shames grief, crying, and anything that's not picture-perfect, especially on social media. People don't even mean to do it. They're concerned.

I put a crying pic up, and a friend reached out to me, thinking I was crying for help.

I put a video up to acknowledge all single mothers on my Instagram, and an acquaintance asked me if I was okay. When I said yes, she asked if I was sure just because there wasn't a picture perfection there.

It's as if…when we are genuine, or we aren't bubbly, people automatically think something is wrong. Sometimes they genuinely want to help. Other times they might be judging. I bring up a point that society isn't necessarily open to grief, especially if it doesn't pertain to actual death. It's almost as if, by society's rules, we aren't allowed to grieve other things.

Maybe we want to grieve our old pre-baby body, and we can't do that because maybe that's body shaming. My point is various things other than death…an individual may want to grieve. And I'm here to tell you that it's okay. Please grieve whatever you want to. Don't feel shame about it, and weep as long as you need. If you take the time to do this, I promise you will be able to move past it much more quickly. It won't eat away at you.

The truth is, most people aren't doing the work here that we are talking about today. And that is why many of them won't live satisfying, happy lives because it takes intention, hard work, and a little outside-of-the-box thinking.

You can do this. You can get through whatever grief you need to process. Try the mind-body connection described in this episode, and let me know how it goes.

My coaching program helps moms in male-dominated fields suffering from burnout to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to build, using my proven methodology to heal the underlying causes of burnout.

To get started on enjoying your life, check out my free masterclass on the four methods to love your life link in the show notes.

Episode 31: Ways To Not Feel Lonely For Working Moms

Many of us have been taught to strive for excellence, achieve a good life, and be picture-perfect. However, this need can be exhausting and isolating for us. In this episode of Empowering Working Moms: Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, she talks about the reality of retreating and feeling alone when we go through something that reveals our lack of perfection. She shares ways to overcome loneliness and come out of it victorious and complete. Get ready to take notes and tune in to learn more!

In this episode, you will learn:

• The resilience story of a client
• The result of striving for excellence
• How to combat loneliness
• External approval and completion

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT]

I want to start by sharing a recent client breakthrough. A client of mine who had tried all the things: podcasts, meditation, ted talks, and therapy, came to me wanting to enjoy her life when she felt miserable day to day even though she shouldn't because she has a beautiful family and likes her job. However, through our work together, she can enjoy the crucial moments in her life, especially with her children, and also bounce back from the negative moments and curve balls a lot more quickly: resilience.

My coaching program helps moms in male-dominated fields suffering from burnout to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to build, using my proven methodology to heal the underlying causes of burnout.

To get started on enjoying your life,

Check out my free masterclass on the four methods to love your life link in the show notes.

Many of us have been taught to strive for excellence. This is fabulous, don't get me wrong. This principle helps us to achieve at work and in our personal lives. Checking off all of the boxes. And then, we grow up or approach mid-life and wonder why we are exhausted and unhappy.

Often, this need for the good life or picture of perfection can isolate us. As a result, we retreat and feel alone when we go through something that reveals our lack of perfection or shatters the perfect Instagram family photo.

Some clients go through problems and feel completely alone, but they aren't. We are all struggling with a variation of the same issues, even if we are under the delusion that we are the only ones.

Remember, although we are our greatest ally and should learn to act accordingly, there are also people, friends, and family who will love and support us unconditionally whether we can afford a multi-million dollar house or have a seemingly perfect life or not.

Here is how to combat loneliness:

Realize you aren't alone:

-you have yourself; get comfortable with yourself (examples being alone, sitting in quiet alone, taking the self out to dinner, reading alone, dancing alone, taking a class by yourself)

-Learn to love your own company

-When you have a problem, feel alone, or feel isolated in your negative emotion, take time to be with yourself. Put your hand on your chest and be present with whatever is going on. This is having your own back. Begin making a habit of this.

-Know that people generally want to help; you just have to ask. If you're feeling lonely about something or isolated, reach out to someone your gut tells you you can trust and open up. You will be surprised how supportive good friends can be.

-Join support groups with people with similar issues. For those in homes with abuse, for example, get into domestic violence support groups or alcoholism, there is al-anon; this will build your sense of community

-there are a million FB physician groups where I have found a sense of community and connection

-deepen the friendships you already have. Nurture them.

-in addition to taking yourself out alone regularly, make regular connections with friends and family.

-decrease social media consumption; promise not to scroll late at night. It's a waste of time and energy; set aside time. Put limits on your phone for using the apps. Or delete them altogether.

-if you find yourself trying to fill your void with food, drink, or any other buffering, approach yourself with kind curiosity and practice being okay with yourself alone

-practice meditation and mindfulness; this helps to distance us from our thoughts and empower us.

Once you learn to feel at home, you will seek external approval and completion. What I mean is many of us were raised to believe we need a romantic partner to complete us. We don't. It is beautiful to have a healthy partnership; however, we don't need it.

Remember to work on yourself before inviting a partner in if you are a single parent. You will come from a much better, less grassy place. You won't be trying to fill a lonely void because your life will be complete with just you and your children.

My coaching program helps moms in male-dominated fields suffering from burnout to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to build, using my proven methodology to heal the underlying causes of burnout.

To get started on enjoying your life,

Check out my free masterclass on four methods to love your life link in the show notes.

Episode 30: How to be a Happy Working Mom through Pattern Recognition

Deeply ingrained habits and patterns can be traced back to childhood experiences even before remembering them. Some of them are helpful, while others add a layer of stress and anxiety to what one is already dealing with. In this episode of Empowering Working Moms:Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, she dives into increasing your awareness of destructive mental patterns to help decrease your suffering and be relieved of exhaustion. So tune in and enjoy!

In this episode, you will learn:

• Habits and patterns
• Increasing awareness
• Stories we tell ourselves
• Three steps in the mindfulness method

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT]

My coaching program helps moms in male-dominated fields suffering from burnout to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to build, using my proven methodology to heal the underlying causes of burnout.

To get started on enjoying your life,

Check out my free masterclass on the four methods to love your life link in the shownotes.

We all have deeply ingrained habits and patterns.

Old stories and narratives. They started before we can remember when we were young children. Some of them are helpful and beneficial, while others are not.

There might be a sudden urge to blame yourself whenever something goes wrong.

Increasing my awareness is one thing I realized in my journey that has decreased my suffering and helped me not feel exhausted. But today, I want to dive into increasing your awareness of your mental patterns that are not serving you or are adding a layer of stress and anxiety to what you are already dealing with.

I will give a couple of examples to clarify:

When anyone raises their voice, I get triggered. I feel anxious and a squeezing in my throat. This probably comes from being a child and feeling unsafe when I was yelled at. I became aware of this in the past few years. And, of course, our brains are wired to keep us safe and scan for threats which is helpful. However, instead of fully diving into feeling threatened with raised voices…which would increase my anxiety and suffering, I can acknowledge that this is my pattern. And not to beat me up about the pattern. To not say, why do I always have to get anxious when people yell…but to notice it with compassion and say, yes, this is my usual response. And that's ok. I am safe. I am ok. I don't have to feed further into this threat.

You can create a layer of lightness and airiness with this approach. You will move beyond exhaustion and burnout with this simple practice.

How about getting triggered by your parents…this is a tough one…because those relationships are long-standing and deep. What is your go-to response when you feel uncomfortable? Can you see it? How about isolating your approach to just you? Assuming that your parent may not be able to hear you the way you want to be heard and managing your pattern and response. What is one small step you can take to de-power the negative effect an unpleasant conversation or interaction might have on you?

One thing that has helped me with my old pattern of seeking their approval. This one is deeply ingrained. I want to emulate many of their excellent qualities, hard work, significant involvement with kids, and setting a good example in so many ways. But there are other things I don't want to carry forward. There are things I want to do differently. So when I find myself seeking their approval and maybe not getting it…I ask myself if I want to copy their behavior in that specific situation…or if they are experts in this matter. And if the answer is no, I let go of their approval and find trust and comfort in my way.

If you are unhappy about your job or relationship, what is your story surrounding that? What is the narrative you've told yourself about it that might not be helpful? I am not appreciated. I am not valued.

Those are some thoughts that aren't positive…if that's the story you're telling, start realizing it's a story and not a fact. When we see narratives for what they are, they don't own us or have as much power over us when they're not helping us.

In my mindfulness method, notice/neutralize/new, noticing just being aware is the first step in dealing with any situation. Then that will help to neutralize the situation and remove the emotional change. Then the last step would be to pick a new thought. So, for example, replace the aforementioned unhelpful thoughts with identifying the things I am loved for or appreciated and something else of your choosing to help change the perspective and increase your gratitude and overall life satisfaction.

My coaching program helps moms in male-dominated fields suffering from burnout to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to build, using my proven methodology to heal the underlying causes of burnout.

To get started on enjoying your life,

Check out my free masterclass on the four methods to love your life link in the shownotes.

Episode 29: Reduce Burnout at Work and Life through More Time and Space

Workload sometimes piles up, and our to-do list never seems to end. Factor in several household duties that also needs attending. Before being burnt out, there are some things one can do to avoid going down that path. One is creating more time and space for yourself. To learn more about what this means and how to create one, tune in to this episode of Empowering Women's Podcast Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Never-ending to-do list
• What does our brain usually do when we are faced with many things to accomplish
• What to do when we have a lot of things on our plate
• Tips for creating more time and space

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT]

My coaching program helps moms in male-dominated fields suffering from burnout to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to build using my proven methodology to heal the underlying causes of burnout...

To get started on enjoying your life,

Check out my free masterclass on the 4 methods to love your life link in the show notes.

Not everyone is in a job they love…some are, and that's great. Others are in a grind.

Regardless of where you are in your career, we can often feel overwhelmed by our never-ending to-do lists or things piling up.

Factor in a sick child or other curveball life can throw, and forget about it. You will feel like you're drowning pretty quickly.

It is important to honor where you are when you are there.

Recently, my to-do list was longer than usual. Some deadlines were looming. So I decided to focus on one thing at a time. This is not usually how I manage. Usually, I get a task done in 15-20 min increments. But I found some of the things I needed to take care of just weren't conducive to that strategy. So I switched gears and did one thing at a time. I also forgave myself for not seemingly reaching the usual level that I had been achieving.

The first thing my brain wanted to do was to make me feel inadequate, not worthy, and not good enough. But sometimes, life gets tough. That's the reality, and a way to make things easier is by giving ourselves grace, of course, like what I discussed in episode#24

But also space. Some breathing room. More free time. Sometimes that means sacrificing some of our daily routines depending on how much they help us. The last couple of weeks were hectic for me, so something had to give. I cut back from six days of exercise a week to three, knowing this was temporary.

I put a hold on the podcast, even though I love bringing it all to you so much. I quieted down on my emails to my list. I often email them; go to my website stresscleansemd.com to sign up for my emails…but I had to decrease that also to give myself more breathing room.

I constrained who I chose to hang out with, which I usually do, but I made sure not to overschedule weekends. For example, I allowed myself to not do some exercise on weekends when I saw many patients on call.

I scheduled extra time before bed to make sure I got adequate sleep. We need that for our mental health. I know I definitely do. And the way to actually do this is to promise and commit to yourself that you'll have good sleep hygiene. So, yes, there are times [Netflix], but there are also times when you have to have the discipline to do what's healthy.

Schedule some time and space to connect with a loved one in the figure if you can't fit it in right now. Have things to look forward to.

Take five minutes in the morning to connect with yourself and set an intention for the day.

Try to get help if you can…with childcare or household tasks…this will create more space.

Unplug. Cut yourself off from any scrolling. I am getting a watch actually to be able to put my phone aside outside of work hours to increase presence because I use my phone as a clock.

Declutter and organize your workspace or a sacred space at home. Because, like Gretchen Rubin's book title, outer order does create inner calm.

Make a large to-do list and smaller ones to decrease overwhelm.

Say no to things you don't absolutely have to do. Protect your time and energy to conserve more time and space. Stop people-pleasing (for help with this, listen to episode #4). People-pleasing muddies up our free time, energy, and space.

Meditate regularly. (only 5 minutes)

Take a personal sick day or some form of time off soon to give yourself time to get shit done and recoup.

Be okay with not being a productivity machine. It's okay.

Do a reset when the tough time seems like it may be letting up.

Make a short list of manageable goals and get to them. One small step at a time.

My coaching program helps moms in male-dominated fields suffering from burnout to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to build using my proven methodology to heal the underlying causes of burnout...

To get started on enjoying your life,

Check out my free masterclass on 4 methods to love your life link in the show notes.

Episode 28: How to Stop Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a disease of overachieving women. Good grades may have been a product of perfectionism, but in the long run, it can cause life dissatisfaction, unhappiness, feelings of unworthiness, and in extreme cases, depression and anxiety. So how do we avoid the pitfalls of perfectionism? Join Dr. Prianca Naik in this episode of Empowering Working Moms: Real talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, as she unmasks the causes, effects, symptoms, and remedies for this disease. So tune in to learn more!

In this episode, you will learn:

• What is perfectionism
• Causes of perfectionism
• How to know if you have perfectionistic tendencies
• Concrete tips to follow in combatting perfectionism
• Benefits of decreasing perfectionism

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT]

My coaching program helps moms in male-dominated fields suffering from burnout to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to build, using my proven methodology to heal the underlying causes of burnout.

To get started on enjoying your life,

Check out my free masterclass on the four methods to love your life. Link in the shownotes.

Perfectionism is a disease of overachieving women. We are often taught to look and act a certain way. 100% on exams, and A+'s were a must, maybe from external pressure or within. This score is great for getting into a good school or becoming a professional like a doctor, lawyer, or VP of some division of a huge company and working your way to the top achieving success as you know it or have been told. Unfortunately, perfectionism can bite us in the long run. Adding to and causing so much life dissatisfaction, unhappiness, feelings of unworthiness, and in extreme cases, depression and anxiety.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. No one has the answers to living the "perfect life." First, there is no such thing as the perfect life because human beings err inherently. Second of all, there is no manual for how we are supposed to go about doing things. Only we can figure it out, and that's the simultaneous difficulty and beauty.

How to know if you have perfectionistic tendencies:

-High standards for everything

-Results Orientation

-Always looking at what is missing or not enough

-and on one's mistakes

-Obsessing over blemishes…be it on your beautiful face or a marble countertop in your home.

We often correlate self-worth with accomplishments. This practice is a sad and tough one. I found myself struggling with this. The net worth, house size, and picture-perfect life. Needing that to show that I've made it in life.

I have faced challenges, and my life, in some ways, didn't turn out as I expected. Though don't get me wrong, I love my life as it is and enjoy every day.

I find an old-ish process going on, along with my perfectionistic tendencies. For example, I dropped my son off at camp without a swimsuit because this was nowhere in the orientation email. And yet I could feel the angst rising and squeezing in my throat. I acknowledged that agitation, sat with it, and moved on. There was nothing I did wrong or could do differently. My son would be ok. So, of course, this example is on a small level.

Let's talk about a larger-scale perfectionism issue.

When we aren't getting along with someone in a significant relationship - our spouse or sibling or someone who doesn't like us, type A mothers have a hard time accepting this.

Perfectionism shows up in our self-worth.

Where do we tie our self-worth… to how well we get along with others? On tangible achievements like a good salary?

Or how do we define success? And when we achieve that or weren't achieving that? Or our perfectionistic tendencies come into play; will it ever be good enough? Or maybe it never will be. So giving thought to how we see ourselves and define loving ourselves is vital in dealing with our perfectionism. As I often state in my program and my mindfulness method, all transformation, all problem-solving, and all solutions begin with awareness.

Without seeing a problem, we can't tackle it. So I encourage you to be aware of the patterns in which your brain works. The not-enoughness that might present itself.

There is no perfect solution to this. But most of us are aware of our perfectionistic tendencies…and let us congratulate ourselves for this. We are high performers. We want to do the best by ourselves and others as well. Nothing to criticize here. And there will probably always be the tendency. But we can be aware of it, continue working on it, and practice accepting B+ work.

Here are some concrete tips to follow in combatting perfectionism:

Also, living in the win, as I discuss in episode #27, we can reflect on what we do well. All of the things we are doing right. This can be as simple as I packed my kids' lunch, delegating something, I took out the trash, or whatever. Doesn't have to be big. Once we see what a good job we are doing, we can shift our mindset on how well our life is going.

Keep the bigger picture in mind. When something is bothering you because it isn't perfect, how is it working out in the scheme of things or life? For example, I will admit when I outsource things, like getting help with my kids' laundry, I may not like how it's done, but I have to let it go and not eat away at me. I can't allow it to steal my joy because perfectly done laundry doesn't matter!

When you're obsessing over a mistake, get yourself out of your head and into your body. First, notice there is a body. Next, feel the weight of gravity and the points of contact with your body, a chair, or the floor. Then take 10-15 seconds to focus on your breathing, and when your mind wanders, because it will, get back to the breath.

Stop "shoulding" all over yourself - I should have done this or that. It's a symptom of perfectionism and beating ourselves up. It's not helpful. So cut it out.

Learning to let go: Cleaning lady example. Preface first world problem. 40% price increase. Look again, accept it as is, and clean it myself, which brings me to a common problem I see. Clients have a tough time outsourcing. The mantra of no one can do it right, or I do it best…or if I want it done right, I have to do it.

Cut Yourself Some Slack!

Self-acceptance:

To embrace ourselves, including our imperfections, is accepting ourselves as human and celebrating our wins because we have so many. You don't have to be perfect to have a great life or success.

Make a promise to yourself to stop beating yourself up.

And when you've had a particularly imperfect and bad day, turn to this RW Emerson quote:

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

Allowing yourself to be human and accept your imperfections.

I'm not perfect, and that's great. So that's a thought I chose.

It eases the unrest I feel when I don't have it 100% perfectly together.

Benefits of decreasing perfectionism

-overall increased life satisfaction

-wasting less time

-wasting less energy

-keeping life in perspective—fulfillment

My coaching program helps moms in male-dominated fields who are suffering from burnout to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to build using my proven methodology to heal the underlying causes of burnout...

To get started on enjoying your life.

Check out my free masterclass on the four methods to love your life. Link in the show notes.

Episode 27: Living in the Win

Most of us constantly try to see what needs to be fixed all the time, and we often neglect the wins we have daily. In this episode of Empowering Working Moms Podcast – Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, she paved the way towards living a celebratory life. This kind of life requires more than being grateful, but one that celebrates who you are and the things you do. Dr. Prianca explains that living in the win is keeping track of what we are doing well and embarking on something adventurous. She also shares practical steps on how to live a victorious life. Tune in to learn more!

In this episode, you will learn…

• What is "Living in the win."
• Gratefulness vs. Living in the win
• Steps to achieve "living in the win."
• Training the brain to validate internally

Surround yourself with people to. Because in success that's what we do. We are all striving for success right? So truly celebrating ourselves every single day.

I have found this extremely useful when I'm having a bad day or going through time really reflecting on all the things I'm accomplishing in a give-and-take for all of the things I do right. I try to make a list along with my gratitude practice for gratitude practice please refer to episode number

Human beings tend to focus on what's not working because we have to eliminate possible threats etc

Winning also means being in the modus operandi of doing what we might find intriguing adventurous.

We have the power and we can always schedule on fun things in the schedule or in between day to day stuff regularly

I had an opportunity to be on a talk show briefly this week and I jumped on it. Details to follow but I was living in yes and I had the most fun I'd had in forever

Proud moments for myself

When I'm teaching my kids something

Or modeling good behavior

So much good stuff we do and we never pause to acknowledge it

I go to the gym 5-6 days a week usually. That's awesome.

Reflecting daily 5 things you're doing right…add to gratitude

What things do you take for granted in yourself?

Can you write a letter of appreciation to yourself

Celebrating ourselves for how great we are. We aren't better than others ok..bc that is arrogance. However, we can celebrate our own fabulousness and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Can do it alone. Can do with friends. Can have an accountability partner. Mine that I met 2.5 years ago, we are able to celebrate ourselves with each other and hold space be there for each other to hear about our challenges setbacks of course.

My process helps professional moms with the seemingly perfect life who are silently suffering on the inside to know that they're not alone, and that they reclaim their confidence and power to have the life they want even if that feels impossible right now.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

Episode 26: How to Manage "Overwhelm"

With the various hats a woman wears daily, it is unavoidable that things can come up all at once. Dealing with these things could be overwhelming. So, what is the best thing to do when you feel overwhelmed? Tune in to this episode of Empowering Working Moms Podcast – Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, as she dives into the feeling of overwhelm and shares tips on managing them. Dr. Prianca recounted the overwhelming sense she felt when going through transitions and the self-reflection she did to identify how to handle it so as not to let the sense of "overwhelm" overcome her so she could continue thriving and enjoying life.

In this episode, you will learn:

• The sense of "overwhelm."
• The first step in decreasing stress and suffering
• Digging deeper
• Measures to manage "overwhelm."

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT]

My process helps professional moms with the seemingly perfect life who are silently suffering on the inside to know that they're not alone and reclaim their confidence and power to have the life they want, even if that feels impossible right now.

Hello everyone, I'm so glad you're joining today. I was on call this past weekend which means that I'm busy, and I see a lot of patients; this can, of course, be overwhelming. However, I was walking through my process the way I coach myself and observing what I did to keep myself grounded and not overcome by the overwhelm.

The first step in decreasing our stress and suffering is accepting any given state. This is something I've noticed for myself because, of course, I manage my mind and truly love my life no matter what's going on, no matter how hard things might be. I enjoy my life in multiple moments every single day. That is not to say that I don't have bad days or I don't cry. There have been times when I cry a lot. And if I feel like I'm going through a hard time, I will ask myself what is going wrong? What can I fix? Because I tend to be a healer and fixer. That's why I went into medicine.

That's why I went into life coaching.

But recently, I was expressing my "overwhelm" in a group and asked how I deal... I said I allow myself to feel the feelings…ask myself what is going wrong, and come up with a plan/solution.

I am a solution-oriented person, and one of my mentors has always taught me not to be a complainer but come up with solutions, so that is how I have learned to be wired. Not a bad thing. I'm good with it.

But what comes along with this is the idea that something is wrong when I don't have it perfectly together 100% of the time. I recently had this realization. I, too, have to check myself in following my processes because I am not perfect. I think about my podcast on perfectionism, episode #24.

And realize that I have to be reminded to give myself grace as well.

I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be. And, of course, I acknowledge life is good and bad…so there will be challenging times. Hence, of course, there will be times when perhaps there are too many challenges at once, and I may feel more overwhelmed than usual.

Because I have my tools for that of course, recently, with some major transitions going on in my life, including transitioning away from a nanny, sending my baby to daycare, and other things, I realized I was dealing perhaps with more than I have ever dealt with before. Juggling even more balls in the air than usual! I had to dig deep, do some deep personal work, and reflect on how I would handle this and not to let the sense of "overwhelm" overcome me so I could thrive, prevail, and continue to enjoy my life.

Here is what I found…

-When shit gets rough and hits the fan, know it is not permanent; this I know. But know that it may take me where I need to go. I can certainly reflect on times in my life when things were difficult, but the challenging times laid the groundwork for the next step.

-Nothing has gone wrong. I am doing my best, and that's TOTALLY enough.

-I don't have to tackle every single problem at once

Problems and challenges come in various shapes, sizes, and packages and have varying degrees of complexity. Therefore some challenges we can face head-on very quickly and solve. For example, a messy house would hire a cleaner, which is extremely simple. Perhaps with some leg room in there to hire, but overall simple.

However, there are larger problems in life, like challenging relationships or decisions to leave a toxic work environment, and the list goes on…that may require more mental energy.

-In the case of the larger problem requiring more energy, we must cultivate patience. Trust yourself. This is something we work on inside my coaching program. Essentially, once you trust yourself, you know that the answer will come to you. Often, you simply need time and space. Then, you will figure out the solution.

-Everything is figureoutable. Sometimes it just takes longer than you bargained for.

-Hence, cultivating patience makes our life experience more enjoyable.

And when you're completely exhausted, make sure you are very cautious, mindful/careful of giving your energy away to anyone who may need or want it…guard your energy.

Refrain from activities that deplete it

Refrain from people-pleasing

Be very picky about what you do when you are going through this.

For example, don't take on more than you have to during these times. When dealing with major transitions/decisions/stressors, our to-do list can be very daunting, so we don't want to add more.

Don't do anything you don't want to do; don't hang out with anyone you don't want to hang out with.

Be you unabashedly because it doesn't require any extra work.

My process helps professional moms with the seemingly perfect life who are silently suffering on the inside to know that they're not alone and that they reclaim their confidence and power to have the life they want, even if that feels impossible right now.

And please share this podcast with anyone you think would benefit or enjoy it.

Episode 25: Healthy Ways to Deal with Frustration and Anger

In this episode of Empowering Working Moms Podcast – Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, she dove into the factuality of how the past culture, the culture that the moms of this time grew up, invalidates feelings of anger. Proper conduct and behaving properly were the norm before. But presently, the expression of anger is encouraged for healthy well-being. With this transition, some moms are still finding their way on how to tread this path. Make sure to tune in to this episode to learn more about anger, expressing it, and dealing with it.

In this episode, you will learn:

• The culture that invalidated feelings of anger
• Respect is a two-way street
• Acknowledging feelings of anger
• How to deal with anger

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

hhttps://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT]

My process helps professional moms with the seemingly perfect life who are silently suffering on the inside to know that they are not alone and that they reclaim their confidence and power to have the life they want, even if that feels impossible right now.

Anger is something many of us were never conditioned to feel.

As in, it was not okay to be angry.

Women especially are supposed to be feminine which perhaps does not mesh with anger stereotypically.

Having to maintain decorum was a part of the norm of how we were raised.

Being proper, behaving properly, and respecting elders were a major part of my culture and upbringing.

But what I found was respect was a one-way street. You could get yelled at and screamed at by someone older than you, and you were supposed to stay silent.

Feelings will build up and boil in there.

Sometimes it is easier to feel anger than sadness because something about anger is empowering.

Our generation is learning that any feelings are okay. The issue is how you might express it. I tell my 4-year-old that all feelings are okay to have; it is how we process and deal with them. Being angry is fine, but it does not give anyone the license to take it out on other people. That is the key.

If we want to manage our anger, be allowed to feel it but deal with it appropriately, here is what we do.

I worked on this in my own life because I was often surrounded by angry people with no tools to cope. It would make me feel like I could never be angry.

Through coaching, I decided to take back my power and learn to allow myself to feel angry and deal with it healthily as well.

Allow yourself to feel it.

Cry, scream into a pillow.

Scream in your car where no one can hear you.

Figure out how to get your angst out-for me, working out is super helpful.

Get outside, and breathe the fresh air.

Notice your surroundings; you will get out of your head, and be not as sucked into the narrative.

The mind-body connection there is a body…take a few deep breaths

Feel it in the body…notice and neutralize.

Journal to vent.

Understand that your anger will subside in the long run in the bigger picture.

To not get sucked in further.

"I am okay."

Get space.

Give yourself a time-out pause.

If you are frustrated, decide how much importance you want to give to something.

My process helps professional moms with the seemingly perfect life who are silently suffering on the inside to know that they are not alone and that they reclaim their confidence and power to have the life they want, even if that feels impossible right now.

If you want to dive deeper into this work, I have 4 spots opening up for private clients.

Schedule a call today priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me

And please share this podcast with anyone you think would benefit or enjoy it.

Episode 24: How to Decrease Your Stress Level by Giving Yourself Grace

In this episode of Empowering Working Moms Podcast – Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, she talks about the reality that life can be hard at times, and we intentionally or unintentionally add to it by demanding too much from ourselves. This demand could come from the desire to conform to society's definition of success. While striving for excellence is good, pushing yourself too hard would not be beneficial. Dr. Prianca shares how to give yourself the grace you need during difficult times and how this grace helps decrease your stress level.

In this episode, you will learn:

• The demanding culture
• Silencing the inner critic
• Examples of how we can give ourselves the grace we need
• Not feeling guilty
• Grace

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call

Where to find Dr. Prianca Naik:Website: https://www.stresscleansemd.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her Facebook group Empowering Working Moms:https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT]

I want to talk more today about giving ourselves grace and space for difficult times in life. These include times of life with massive changes. It can be marriage, moving in with someone, moving to general cities or houses, changing jobs, ending a relationship, or having a baby for the first or subsequent time.

My process helps professional moms with the seemingly perfect life who are silently suffering on the inside to know that they're not alone and that they reclaim their confidence and power to have the life they want even if that feels impossible right now.

These situations require a period of adjustment and grace. Grace is an important concept to learn to give ourselves because it is truly the opposite of how so many of us were raised.

Push, push, push. Perfection. Excellence. 100% on exams, class ranking, success, etc. Be tough, don't whine. Now I'm definitely not a proponent of whining. However, I am now a proponent of being gentle with ourselves. This kind of sounds lame as I say it, but it is a necessary "lameocity". We must work on being okay with B+ work, things not always done our way, or some of the literal and figurative messiness of life.

My mom was a captain in the Indian army. She is such an incredibly strong woman. She taught me strength, and an awesome work ethic; took pride in her work and was an example of a self-sufficient successful woman. At that time, she was one of the only female internists in my small town. She had to fight to get her place. She ended up being the chief of medicine there.

I mention this story because our parent's generation, our mothers had to fight to work in a man's world. We still are. Part of this is being tough, though which to a degree we do need. Often, this practice turns into a mean inner critic. You're not smart enough or thin enough or enough period. How terrible right? How can we be happy when this voice lurks in the background? When I start working with my clients, I tell them one of the rules is no inner critic. Shut that shit down. ASAP. No space for that voice anymore because it does not add anything. I want to add balance to this though, and that is where the grace comes in.

Grace that we are enough as we are. Yes, we've made mistakes, but we are always learning and growing. Nothing wrong here. Doing great!

Giving oneself grace means being gentle with oneself - the ability to treat oneself as a friend or like you would your own child.

Examples of how we can give ourselves grace:

• not obsessing not going down the rabbit hole-refer to episode #10 on managing catastrophization
• acknowledging when we've made a mistake and that we are human and being perfect is impossible
• easy does it, going easy on ourselves, resting when we need to
• getting help and not feeling guilty
• outsourcing and not feeling guilty
• caring for ourselves and not feeling guilty

Not feeling guilty is a major theme here. Perhaps I should focus more on realizing that mothers will always feel guilty - acknowledging that and moving forward without harping on it. So maybe we will always feel guilty and accepting that is what we can do to lighten our load and decrease our suffering.

I make sure I do what I need to do to stay well - be it coaching, group therapy, alone time, or connecting with dear friends. I feel guilty any and all minutes I take myself away from my children. Yet it's not practical to be with them 24/7. I also would not want to smother them. My solution is understanding this is impractical and knowing I will feel guilty no matter what and proceeding anyway. The end product is inner peace and happiness which then transmits to my children.

When you find yourself slipping into an old pattern or are triggered, give yourself space that you're not perfect you're working on it.

Not being so hard on ourselves - which is really difficult to do because so many of us moms working in male-dominated fields, we strive for excellence - demanding it from ourselves and often others.

Sit with yourself quietly

Be okay with who you are and where you are right now. Be okay with who you were. Be okay with your previous programming even if you're trying to re-wire all of that.

Grace:

What if we could know that we are doing our best? And honestly, it's probably better than our mothers did because understanding where we come from, healing old trauma and wounds, trying to care for our own mental health - these things have become so much more mainstream. And we have the opportunity to do better for ourselves and our kids. As we give ourselves grace we become less harsh with ourselves and others. There is a ripple effect there. Imagine them giving themselves grace more naturally than we do because it was modeled to them while they were growing up. What?! Incredible. The work we are doing here is so critical in healing ourselves but also improving generational mental health. If you want to dive deeper into this work, I have a handful of spots opening up for private clients.

My process helps professional moms with the seemingly perfect life who are silently suffering on the inside to know that they're not alone and that they reclaim their confidence and power to have the life they want even if that feels impossible right now.