The End of the Day Podcast with Kari Watterson: Using Mindset Work to Live Your Best Life

Let me ask you a question. What are you feeling when you wake up?

Don't know? That's normal. For most of us, that's a hard question to answer.  It's easier for us to answer the question, "What are you thinking when you first wake up?"

But did you know that what you think determines how you feel?

Why is that important?

Because how you feel governs what you do or don't do each day,  the cumulative effect of which can be seen in the results you have or don't have in life.

We talk so much about morning routines, being consistent, and wanting to show up as our best selves, but we often approach those goals from an action standpoint.

If action is important to create change, and we know our emotions govern our actions,  then how different would our lives look if we started paying more attention to how we're feeling?

Purposeful energy state = purposeful thoughts + purposeful feelings

In this episode, I share what life could be like when you choose your energy state on purpose -- not just to achieve goals but so you can start showing up the way you want in relationships and for yourself.

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy, and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

Have an area of struggle you’d love to work through? Book a free 90-minute coaching call and learn some tools that will help you change your life. Visit my website or follow me on Instagram (@kari_mindsetcoach) to learn more.

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For more mindset tips, resources and insights, you can find me here:

Instagram (@kari_mindsetcoach)
LinkedIn
Medium

Did you know there is a psychological term for that knee-jerk response we sometimes have when we feel like we're being told what to do?

In today's episode, I talk about psychological reactance, our brain's negative reflexive response when it perceives a threat to our personal freedom or our ability to be autonomous -- even when that threat comes from us.

This opened up my eyes to how psychological reactance shows up in my life and in my clients' lives, such as struggles with calendaring, inconsistent actions toward desired goals, parenting decisions, feeling triggered by messaging on social media, reacting to messages on how to best take care of your body,  others' opinions or perceptions of you, and on and on.

Tune in to learn more about psychological reactance, how it may be holding you back, and ways to lessen its hold so you're freer to live the way you want.

Thanks so much for listening.

Resources cited in this episode:

Article  |  Elizabeth Dorrance Hall Ph.D.  |  Why We Hate People Telling Us What To Do: Understanding our brain's response to being told what to do.
URL: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conscious-communication/201906/why-we-hate-people-telling-us-what-do (Accessed 8/26/21)

Article  |  Nir Eyal |  The Real Reason Why You Sabotage Your Own Goals: How to overcome psychological reactance, the rarely discussed psychological reflex that’s holding you back
URL: https://forge.medium.com/psychological-reactance-why-you-sabotage-our-own-goals-f473c2df47a3 (Accessed 8/26/21)

Book  |  Nir Eyal  |   Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy, and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

Have an area of struggle you’d love to work through? Book a free 90-minute coaching call and learn some tools that will help you change your life. Visit my website or follow me on Instagram (@kari_mindsetcoach) to learn more.

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For more mindset tips, resources and insights, you can find me here:

Instagram (@kari_mindsetcoach)
LinkedIn
Medium

Motivational quotes are everywhere: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn. A well-crafted, well-curated quote can be incredibly powerful.

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -- Wayne Gretzky

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." -- Lao Tzu

"Every action you take is a vote for the person you wish to become." -- James Clear

Quotes like these remind us who want to be and where we want to go. They give us hope that change is possible. They help us see beyond our current reality. They help us remember why we're doing what we're doing.

Our brains love motivational quotes because they communicate a lot of information quickly, which suits our brains' hardwiring to value efficiency.

But, as with anything, unless we also take steps toward what we truly want, motivational quotes are just words. And if we're not in the right mental and emotional space, or if we're not also taking actual steps toward the change we want, motivational quotes might actually make us feel worse.

In this episode, I talk about using motivational quotes as a mental shortcut -- a heuristic -- to remind us in an instant of the decisions we've already made about where we're going and who we're becoming along the way.

Thanks so much for tuning in.

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The following are a few more of my favorite quotes:

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." -- Maya Angelou

“The emotion of fear often works overtime. Even when there is no immediate threat, our body may remain tight and on guard, our mind narrowed to focus on what might go wrong. When this happens, fear is no longer functioning to secure our survival. We are caught in the trance of fear and our moment-to-moment experience becomes bound in reactivity. We spend our time and energy defending our life rather than living it fully.” -- Tara Brach

"We can make ourselves miserable or we can make ourselves strong. The amount of effort is the same." Pema Chödrön

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" -- Mary Oliver

"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." -- Carl Jung

"The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way." -- Marcus Aurelius

"A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for." -- John A. Shedd

"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails." -- Elizabeth Edwards

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning to sail my ship." -- Louisa May Alcott

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

Have an area of struggle you’d love to work through? Book a free 90-minute coaching call and learn some tools that will help you change your life. See website or follow me on Instagram (@kari_mindsetcoach) to learn more.

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For more mindset tips, resources and insights, you can find me here:

Instagram (@kari_mindsetcoach)
LinkedIn
Medium

What changes have you been wanting to make in your life but keep putting off?

Maybe you'd like to get your finances in order, have a better relationship with your partner, be more present with your kids, exercise more consistently, take up hobbies, stop feeling overwhelmed by stress, incorporate a daily mindfulness practice, hit a big, hairy audacious revenue goal in your business, develop a great morning or evening routine, or learn to do the things you put on your calendar.

Maybe you just want to start feeling like you're actually living a life you love.

In this episode, I talk about how staying stuck or taking action are both choices. The good news is every next moment is an opportunity to make a different choice.

Tune in to learn some practical strategies to stop delaying what you want and start choosing growth over stagnation (i.e., your future self over your past self).

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Resources referenced in this episode:

Book - The Alter Ego Effect: The Power of Secret Identities to Transform Your Life by Todd Herman

Coaching - Shaun Roney
Certified ADHD and Life Coach for Women
Website:  https://www.revealedpath.com/
Instagram: @shaun.roney
1:1 Coaching or Group Coaching Program (Brain Brilliance)

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

Have an area of struggle you’d love to work through? Book a free 90-minute coaching call and learn some tools that will help you change your life. See website or follow me on Instagram (@kari_mindsetcoach) to learn more.

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For more mindset tips, resources and insights, you can find me here:

Instagram (@kari_mindsetcoach)
LinkedIn
Medium

"The reward is in the journey, not the destination."

For some, focusing on the journey or the process of becoming rather than on a specific outcome removes the pressure of goalsetting. This is particularly true of those who think achieving the goal will help them feel better about themselves.

But for those who struggle with time scarcity thoughts ("I'm behind in life," "I have to make up for lost time," "It's too late") "becoming" and "journey" create feelings of resistance because they suggest it will take time people feel they don't have to achieve the results they want.

This is when it helps to view things from a different perspective.

In previous episodes, I talked about zooming out to see goals from a long-term point of view (the journey).  In this episode, I talk about zooming in to view goals in a more finite way --  as bridging a gap. When you can look at the process of achieving a goal as bridging the gap from where you are to where you want to go (or from who you are to who you want to become), you reduce overwhelm and anxiety and have more mental space to focus on creating the results you want.

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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For more mindset tips, resources and insights, you can find me here:

Instagram (@kari_mindsetcoach)
LinkedIn
Medium

What feelings does the word self-trust bring up for you?

For some, self-trust is a loaded concept. It's an elusive state of mind that seems hard to achieve but we know we need it to accomplish "big things". We set goals and implement tools and processes with the hope of building self-trust, but because we've tied our trustworthiness to a particular outcome, it becomes something we can easily lose, just by being human.

But what do we really mean when we say we want to learn to trust ourselves?

Why do so many of us view self-trust as an enigma? Why do so many of us use it as a metric of our self-worth and whether we're capable of achieving what we want in life?

In this episode, I deconstruct the concept of self-trust and explore what we're truly after so we can stop holding ourselves back and start creating the results we want.

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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For more mindset tips, resources and insights, you can find me here:

Instagram (@kari_mindsetcoach)
LinkedIn
Medium

How are you feeling right now? Do you know?

The end of the year can be a time of excitement, anticipation, rest, renewal, pride, determination, commitment, hope.

It can also be a time of anxiety, stress, shame, depression, exhaustion, worry, judgment.

Sometimes we spend so much time in our heads we forget to check in with our bodies.

Many of us are in action and planning mode right now, which can be exciting, but it's good to also take time to notice our energy and how we're feeling.

In this episode, I talk about the importance of turning inward and tending to what needs attention and care.

We can absolutely prepare for the new year, but it's possible to do so in a way that is nourishing to the mind, body and soul.

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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For more mindset tips, resources and insights, you can find me here:

Instagram (@kari_mindsetcoach)
LinkedIn
Medium

For some, December is a time of evaluation and reflection:

How did the year go? Did we hit our goals? Did we do the things we set out to do back in January? What did we learn? What do we want to work on next year?

For some, though, December means judgment. We focus on all the things we wanted to do but didn't. We mentally berate ourselves for letting another year go by and not starting the business, not sticking to the fitness goal, not getting our finances in order, not putting ourselves out there for opportunities, etc.

And underlying the judgment is the belief that life would be better when [insert goal or desire here].

The thought of time passing and nothing changing triggers anxiety, despair and depression and an overwhelming sense of powerlessness.

What if we were to approach growth and reflection differently?

What if we chose instead to focus on inner work and the process of becoming (becoming more self-aware and compassionate, discovering our self-worth, building our self-trust, self-confidence, and mental and emotional resilience, reconnecting with our emotions, learning to validate ourselves, and allowing ourselves to see the lightness and beauty of life)?

In this episode, I share how quickly my brain wanted to zero in on what I didn't do, but how with compassionate redirection I was able to create an incredible list of inner growth.

We grow in so many ways each and every day, but our brains aren't wired to look for these victories.

But we can cultivate a healthier mindset by redirecting our brains in ways that will help us to grow so we don't feel stuck in a time loop, reliving the same experience of life year after year.

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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For more mindset tips, resources and insights, you can find me here:

Instagram (@kari_mindsetcoach)
LinkedIn
Medium

The latest podcast episode (Ep. 26: Perfectionism Trauma) was borne out of multiple conversations with clients, and my own experience with crippling perfectionism. 

A common statement among perfectionists or recovering perfectionists is: "I know what I need (or want) to do but I can't seem to get myself to do it."

Perfectionism can feel incredibly debilitating. Because perfectionists hold themselves up to impossibly high standards (typically requiring them to be perfect and flawless), mistakes are devastating and viewed as a personal failure.

And when every action has such high stakes, it's easy to see why perfectionism, anxiety and procrastination go hand-in-hand.

Typically, people who call themselves "recovering" perfectionists have experienced firsthand the devastation and fallout from bouts of extreme perfectionism, whether at work, school, or in the way they view their bodies. They're aware of the thoughts and behaviors that signal perfectionism and want to change, but often find themselves paralyzed and unable to take steps to counter their previous way of being.

In the book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk discusses how past trauma can have lasting, devastating effects on the body, unless addressed and healed.

The body remembers what it went through.

I'm willing to bet that anyone who has struggled with bouts of extreme perfectionism can readily recall the physical sensations of dread, stress, anxiety, fear, & extreme fatigue.

It makes sense, then, that the "resistance" many recovering perfectionists describe may be the mind/body's self-preservation mechanism protecting it from recreating harmful scenarios.

When we understand this, we can see how the first step isn't necessarily to find a better system so we can stop procrastinating, but to calm our nervous system and reassure it that we are, in fact, moving forward in a healthier, more nourishing and sustainable way.

In this episode, I walk you through a powerful self-worth exercise designed to help you shift your identity, validation and focus from the short-lived "fruit" to the more permanent, grounded "roots".

Doing this work will give you a visual reminder of your commitment to a new way of fueling your future growth and success.

With each step you take, you're retraining your mind (and body) to learn and memorize this new way of being and succeeding.

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Cited in this episode

Book:
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.

Podcast episode:
Ep. 15: Talking Perfectionism with Gaby Kogut

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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For more mindset tips, resources and insights, follow me on social media:

Instagram: @kari_mindsetcoach

So many of us give up on our goals way too soon, not necessarily because the actions are hard, but because we lack the awareness and mental fortitude to manage our own minds.

Not gonna lie, setting and achieving big goals takes courage, tenacity and lots of heart. We all have the capability, but most of us don't know how to harness it.

So how do we keep going even when it's hard and our brains are signaling for us to quit?

How do we stay in the belief that we're capable of doing something we've never done before, even before we have evidence?

That's the subject of this week's podcast episode

Given what we know about our brains, if we want to do something we've never done before, we need to have our own backs with tools and resources so we can carry ourselves through the periods of doubt and disbelief.

In this episode, I share three unique mindset concepts from thought leaders in the personal growth and coaching industry that will help you not only monitor and strengthen your belief in your ability to achieve your goals but actually help you take action so you can keep moving forward toward the results you want, even when your brain wants to give in to self-doubt.

How would your life change if you learned how to manage your thought drama instead of giving in?

What would you be doing right now?

What if learning this skill could change not only the trajectory of your life, but the lives of those you touch?

What legacy could you leave?

Resources cited in this episode:

Books:

1. Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones with James Clear

2. Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One with Dr. Joe Dispenza

Podcasts:

1. Strategic Mindset Podcast with Elizabeth Salazar | Ep. 85: Money Making Emotions with Guest Simone Seoul

2. Strategic Mindset Podcast with Elizabeth Salazar | Ep. 87: Voting for the Results You Want

3. Make Money as a Life Coach Podcast with Stacey Boehman | Bonus Episode: Get It Done: 25k Cash with Vikki Louise

4. Make Money as a Life Coach Podcast with Stacey Boehman | Bonus Episode: 10 Money-Making Lessons From 200k Earner Maggie Reyes

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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For more mindset thoughts and tips, follow me on social media:

Instagram: @kari_mindsetcoach
Twitter: @KaWatterson