The End of the Day Podcast with Kari Watterson: Using Mindset Work to Live Your Best Life

Do you keep putting off something you know you need to get done? Maybe you even want to be working on it, maybe you're even excited for it, but you just can't seem to get past your mind drama around it.

Welcome to being human.

We all procrastinate from time to time. Where we get into trouble is when we start making judgments about ourselves for doing so instead of recognizing our thought-feeling patterns and working through them so we can take the action we need to keep moving forward.

Mind drama is just another term for being aware of your negative, self-defeating thoughts but not taking action to truly understand them or to work through them so you can get back to the place where you're managing the show, not your rampant thoughts and feelings.

It's the difference between the driver's seat and the passenger's seat in life.

Mindset work can seem abstract and theoretical, until you start applying the tools and principles to your daily life. When you do, you realize you've had the power to change your thinking and your life all along, you just never knew how.

In this episode, I walk you through a recent example from my life so you can see how I use the tools I teach to work through and process my own mind drama so I can learn from myself and move forward in a healthy, growth mindset way.

I offer this particular example because I know how it feels to be frozen by your own thoughts. But I also know how amazing it feels to use your own mind to get yourself unstuck and moving again in the direction you want.

There's no magic. It all starts with being aware of your thoughts AND accepting 100% responsibility for them -- meaning, you understand that you have a choice to practice awareness or not, to manage your thoughts or not, to choose to utilize the principles and tools or not, to commit to developing and honing your mindset skills or not -- to live a life you want of your own creation, or not.

It's in your hands.  You can decide at any time. It's never too late.

And that's the best news ever.

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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For more mindset thoughts and tips, follow me on social media:

Instagram: @kari_mindsetcoach
Twitter: @KaWatterson

In this week's episode, I had the honor of speaking with Christina Cooling, professional makeup artist, writer and mental health advocate, and the founder of The Beauty Illusion, an organization and movement dedicated to redefining beauty, celebrating diversity and individuality.

Women are constantly bombarded with images of flawless beauty everywhere: on social media, in magazines, on TV, in the movies. As a professional makeup artist, Christina has seen first-hand the devastating effects of these impossible beauty standards on women's self-esteem, particularly in younger women.

Although we intellectually understand images are retouched, airbrushed or otherwise edited, we as women still feel tremendous social and internal pressure to meet a certain level of beauty, or we feel somehow lacking or unacceptable.

With peer pressure, societal norms and the billion dollar beauty industry marketing to our deepest insecurities, it's no wonder we spend so much time and money on cosmetics and facial products to try to feel better about ourselves.

But, as my guest points out, "....No matter what makeup you're using, no matter how expensive it is, if you can't look at yourself in your own eyes and truly know your worth, then no cosmetic product is going to teach you how to love yourself and how to feel more confident, because the confidence comes from within..."

Christina generously shares her own incredible mental health story, one that saw her at rock bottom in her late teens to mid-20s. She shares how she battled her way back from having lost virtually everything and everyone due to her mental illness and how what she learned about herself along the way transformed her into the courageous, resilient, loving, and compassionate woman she is today.

Christina now uses her platform to encourage others to focus inward and cultivate their inner strength and beauty while also embracing their unique physical beauty.

Connect with Christina Cooling:

Professional Makeup Artist
Website: ChristinaCooling.co.uk
Instagram: @christinacoolingmua

Founder, The Beauty Illusion
Instagram: @thebeautyillusion
Facebook: The Beauty Illusion
Hashtag: #TrulyFilterFree

Published Writer
Article series: The History of Makeup (Vintage Life Magazine)

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Cited in this podcast episode:

(00:19:00) Dr. Claire Weekes (1903-1990).
Dr. Weekes was an Australian physician and international best-selling author of several books on severe anxiety disorders. Her treatment protocol ("face, accept, float, let time pass") is still considered a powerful and effective way to manage severe stress and anxiety.

(00:35:52) Alex Box
Internationally Renown Artist & Professional Makeup Artist, Pioneer of Emotional Makeup.
Website: http://thealexbox.com/ | TEDx Talk: Learning, Unlearning: Who Told You You Couldn't Draw?

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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For more mindset thoughts and tips, follow me on social media:

Instagram: @kari_mindsetcoach
Twitter: @KaWatterson

Are you resistant to the idea of mindset management? I had to hit rock bottom before I fully committed to learning how to manage my mind. The idea that I could change my life by changing how I thought seemed a bit too "easy". After all, I had spent a lifetime thinking so little of myself, it was hard to believe that I could just one day decide to stop being so hard on myself.

And so I dipped my toe into mindset work and kind of tried it out half-heartedly. I didn't want to get my hopes up. If I could guarantee that it would "work" (i.e., help me stop feeling so bad about myself), I felt it would be worth it. Without that guarantee, I worried it would be just one more thing that might work for others but not for people like me.

But when I hit rock bottom, I decided mindset work would be my Hail Mary pass. I committed to managing my thoughts daily. I became a student of my own mind. As I learned to manage my thoughts and emotions, I began to view myself and life with hope, excitement and possibility again. That's the power of learning to manage your mind instead of feeling at the mercy of your thoughts.

What finally had to happen for me stop resisting mindset work? That's what this episode is about. If you're one of those people who desperately wants to change but have resistance to doing this work, I hope you'll listen. You don't have to hit rock bottom.

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Sources cited in this episode:

The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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For more mindset thoughts and tips, follow me on social media:

Instagram: @kari_mindsetcoach
Twitter: @KaWatterson

Welcome to a very special episode of The End of the Day Podcast. Today's guest is my good friend, Kacey Hayes. I would describe today's episode as girlfriend talk + deep dive into mindset work + journaling and voice messaging as powerful tools for processing thoughts and emotions.

First a bit of background. Kacey is a professional writer. She and I first met just over 2 years ago when we were both working to launch our freelance writing businesses. I've since gone a different direction, but Kacey continued to grow and build her business and now serves clients across the country.

Although Kacey and I went in different directions professionally, our personal growth and development journeys have run almost parallel. We discovered mindset work early in our friendship, and began utilizing the principles in our own lives, on our time. After daily practice, I began to see the transformative power of mindset work in my life, and that's when I found my own calling.

Not everyone understands what mindset work is, and not everyone wants to hear about it. It's been such a gift to have a friend who not only understands and believes in the concepts,  but who also incorporates the practice in her daily life and appreciates the dedication to the process.

I broached Kacey about coming on to the podcast because there's this misconception that mindset work is always heavy. Yes, observing our thoughts, processing our feelings and working through the ones that are holding us back can sometimes feel heavy and exhausting, but as you'll hear in this episode, you can do inner healing work and challenge yourself to work through fears and insecurities AND laugh at the same time. Life is full of light and heavy moments. Accepting that balance, being able to welcome and lean into both is so important.

My hope is to turn the Coffee Talk with Kacey episodes into a regular returning series. What you hear today is a reflection of our everyday messages to each other. Part hilarity, part deep dives, but 100% commitment to the belief that managing our minds is one of the most important things we do each day for our present and future happiness and success.

Thanks for listening. We hope you enjoy!

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Connect with Kacey Hayes:

Website: KaceyHayes.com
Instagram: @kaceyhayeswrites
Email: [email protected]

Resources cited in this episode:

Episode: 17: Making Mindset Work a Habit
Episode 19: Working Through Depression Shame

Do Yoga With Me - Free Online Yoga (recommended by Kacey)
The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo
Tyson Bradley, Time Coach

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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For more mindset thoughts and tips, follow me on social media:

Instagram: @kari_mindsetcoach
Twitter: @KaWatterson

"Stories are a doorway to insight." - Rich Litvin

In this episode I share a story about a pivotal moment in my oldest daughter's life. It was emotional for me to read because it brought me right back to May of 2019 when she was finishing up her senior year of high school.

This story was not only a transformational moment in her life, but it also signaled how much our relationship had changed and grown. As I explain in the intro, I carried so much of my insecurities and fears into adulthood which meant what I modeled for my girls wasn't always what I hoped. One of the reasons I dove into mindset work and personal development for myself was because I could see how my own insecurities, fears, unchallenged conditioning, and past emotional baggage was playing out in their lives.

It took quite a bit of time to build the relationship I have now with my oldest daughter. She had to trust that I was not going to be so judgmental. She had to trust that I loved her unconditionally. She had to trust when I encouraged her to follow her own path that it wasn't an empty platitude. In truth, it wasn't until she saw me changing my relationship with myself (being kinder, less judgmental, more compassionate) and saw me working through my own fears and insecurities and start showing up the way I always wanted, that she was able to trust I could hold the same space for her.

Knowing how far she's come, and how far we've come together as mother and daughter, made this one of my more emotional podcasts.

Even though this story has special meaning for me, the story itself is universal: making a decision to do something truly vulnerable and scary, second-guessing, then working through the fear to accomplish something amazing.

Three lessons are woven through this story:

- Sasha Fierce - the power of embracing an alter ego to do things you want to do
- 45 seconds of insane courage
- Looking in the mirror the day after

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I enjoyed recording it.

If you find this episode helpful, please share. You never know who you may help by doing so. Thank you so much.

*** Full permission from my daughter to use this story.***
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IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING, PLEASE KNOW HELP IS AVAILABLE.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a United States-based suicide prevention network of over 160 crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 1-800-273-8255. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

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Resources cited in this episode:

Podcast - Copy Chief with Kevin Rogers, Ep. 126: Tood Herman: Author of the Alter Ego Effect

Book - We Bought a Zoo by Benjamin Mee

Movie Clip - We Bought a Zoo, 20 Seconds of Insane Courage

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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For more mindset thoughts and tips, follow me on social media:

Instagram: @kari_mindsetcoach
Twitter: @KaWatterson

The public movement to reduce stigma around mental health is important, but it won't matter what society thinks if you don't honestly address your own stigma about your own mental health.
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I've been transparent about my own past struggles with depression on this podcast and in my Instagram feed, and often talk about how daily mindset work has changed my life.

A recent episode of depression showed me that despite all my work on self-compassion, I still harbored some shame when I felt depressed, particularly as a mindset coach. It was an eye-opening lesson in the role of shame in depression, and how so much of our suffering is caused by our own judgment.

Now that I'm on the other side, I see how much mindset work actually helped me work things through. Rather than hide my recent struggles, I realized that sharing my recent experience, including processing my own shame, might help someone else going through similar feelings.

In this episode I let you inside my brain. Reading from journal entries and adding commentary when necessary, I walk you through how I used mindset work and tools to process the thoughts and fears that came up for me during my most recent depressive episode.

My hope is that doing so will help others notice and release any stigma they may be holding onto surrounding their own depression or other mental health-related struggles.

Finally, please know this episode offers thoughts and tools based on my own personal experience with depression but is not meant to serve as a substitute for therapy or guidance from a medical professional.  If you have depression, please know I understand everyone's experience is different. What helps me may help some, but may not be the right path for you right now, and that's okay. There are so many different healing modalities. Keep looking until you find one that suits you and your needs. The important thing is that you get the help you need. Everyone deserves to be happy and to suffer less, including you.

If you find this episode helpful, please share. You never know who you may help by doing so. Thank you so much.

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IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING, PLEASE KNOW HELP IS AVAILABLE.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a United States-based suicide prevention network of over 160 crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 1-800-273-8255. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

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Resources cited in this episode:

Episode 16: Using Music in Mindset Work
Episode 18: Foundational Mindset Work

Coaching with Nerijus
Website: www.rewirewithme.com
Instagram: @rewire.with.me

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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For more mindset thoughts and tips, follow me on social media:

Instagram: @kari_mindsetcoach
Twitter: @KaWatterson

We all have different areas of growth. Some of us are working toward specific financial or business goals, some of us are working toward repairing or deepening relationships, some of us are are working toward healthier, more compassionate relationships with ourselves.

Some of us may be working on multiple areas at once.

In this episode, I talk about the importance of using mindset work to build a strong sense of self first. When we have the tools and foundation in place, and when we truly commit to taking 100% responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and actions, we are more prepared to emotionally support ourselves during our more challenging areas of growth.

As I share from my own healing journey, this foundational "self" work is critical, particularly when we do inner child or shadow work, or any thoughtwork that involves unlearning unhealthy or ineffective beliefs or patterns of behavior, and rewiring or adopting healthier, more effective thought processes and emotions.

When we do this foundational mindset work and start building a stronger sense of self, we become more skilled and confident at managing our minds and more committed to our personal growth. We start developing resilience and emotional strength, both of which we'll need when we work to process the more vulnerable, uncomfortable, and painful feelings that come with deeper areas of growth and healing.

As with any skill, the more we commit to and practice mindset work, the sooner we'll see the results. Once again, managing our minds does not guarantee 100% happiness and positivity. It gives us something far more precious: the ability to reduce our emotional suffering and create the experiences we want in life.

Cited in Podcast:

Podcast:
1. The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo
2. Unf*ck Your Brain Podcast with Kara Loewentheil
3. Codependency No More with Brian Pisor, Ep. 42 (Vulnerability, Trust and Shame with Guest, Sandra Lax (Certified Facilitator of Brené Brown’s program, The Daring Way)

Coaching with Nerijus
Website: www.rewirewithme.com
Instagram: @rewire.with.me

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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For more mindset thoughts and tips, follow me on social media:

Instagram: @kari_mindsetcoach
Twitter: @KaWatterson

When you do the work to manage your mind, you learn to become the observer of your thoughts. Half the battle is remembering you are not your thoughts, your thoughts are your perception and not necessarily fact, you don't have to believe your thoughts, and you can choose whether to keep them or to think something more useful. The other part is remembering that your thoughts are responsible for the results you create or don't create in your life.

When we understand this concept, we can change the direction of our lives. It just requires commitment and intentionality to take full responsibility and ownership for our thoughts, feelings, actions, and results.

But because we're human, and because our brains can process up to 70,000 thoughts per day, it's easy to forget we have these amazing tools, particularly when we're in the middle of mind drama.

In this episode, I offer a way to use habit building principles to keep mindset practices at the forefront of our thinking when we need them most. Borrowing heavily from James Clear's four-step model to building good habits, I share how we can use his Cue, Craving, Response, and Reward framework to automate the practice of mindset work so we can minimize the time we lose to mind drama that could be spent creating the results we want most in life.

Cited in Podcast:

Article:
Take a Deep Breath. Published by Harvard Medical School (Mental Health Letter), 2009.

Books:
Atomic Habits by James Clear
Deep Work by Cal Newport
How to Become a Straight-A Student by Cal Newport
The ONE Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan
Essentialism by Greg McKeown
Indistractable by Nir Eyal

Podcast:
The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo

Website:
Tyson Bradley, Time Coach - https://tysonbradley.me/

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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For more mindset thoughts and tips, follow me on social media:

Instagram: @kari_mindsetcoach
Twitter: @KaWatterson

A fundamental part of mindset work is understanding the connection between your thoughts, feelings, actions, and the results you have (or don't have) in life.

When you're able to articulate your feelings and describe the physical sensations in your body, you help bridge the gap between the mind and body and give yourself room to process your thoughts and feelings on a much deeper level.

But what happens when you struggle to feel your feelings, or to describe what you're feeling?

We look for ways to start where we are and build our way up to the fundamentals.

In this episode, I share a process where you can use visualization, muscle memory and the emotive power of music to tap into your feelings so you have a reference point for future mindset work.

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Cited in Podcast:

Coaching with Nerijus
Website: www.rewirewithme.com
Instagram: @rewire.with.me

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Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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For more mindset thoughts and tips, follow me on social media:

Instagram: @kari_mindsetcoach
Twitter: @KaWatterson

On Episode 15 of The End of the Day Podcast, I talk to special guest, Gaby Kogut, about perfectionism and anxiety. Gaby is an art history lecturer from New York City, and the founder of Irreverent Art History, where she teaches weekly art history classes via Zoom in her own "irreverent, silly, weird but really informative and critical manner." (Her tagline: "Because art is more than old, dead crap.")

Gaby and I connected through Kara Loewentheil's group coaching program, The Clutch. After chatting, we discovered that our growth journeys were similar in that we both spent a good portion of our lives struggling with perfectionism and anxiety.

On this episode, Gaby shares her own journey with perfectionism, and how part of her healing required her to look to her past and let go of unhealthy thought patterns that were passed down from previous generations.

Gaby's story is fascinating. To me, it's one of resilience and overcoming. From deep meditation to body-oriented (somatic) therapy to mindset work (specifically, causal self-coaching), Gaby shares how each played a role in reducing her perfectionist thinking and ultimately helped her to start experiencing the fun and enjoyment of life again in a much more healthy and compassionate way.

I learned a lot from Gaby on this episode. Her story reaffirms my belief that inner work is the most important work, and the number one gift we can give ourselves to live a healthier, happier life.

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Where to find Gaby Kogut

Irreverent Art History
FB: https://www.facebook.com/groups/irreverentarthist/
Twitter:@ArtIrreverent
IG: @ArtIrreverent

Podcast recommendations (Gaby & Kari)
1. Mental Illness Happy Hour Podcast with Paul Gilmartin
2. Unf*ck Your Brain Podcast with Kara Loewentheil
- Ep. 90: Perfectionist Fantasies and Tomorrow Thinking
- Ep. 36: Antidotes to Perfectionism (Other Focus + Minimum Baseline)
3. WorkLife: A TED Podcast with Adam Grant (Ep: How to Love Criticism)

Information on Body-Oriented Therapy (Gaby)
https://www.bodyorientedtherapy.com/

Books (Gaby)
-Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
-Radical Compassion by Tara Brach (Brach teaches the 4 step process called RAIN)
-Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen

Links to Resources on Meditation (Gaby)
Jack Kornfield
DharmaSeed
Insight Timer

Original intro/outro music by JMW.

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To learn more about what I do, my coaching philosophy and how to work with me, email me at [email protected] or visit my website at https://kariwatterson.com.

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