The Enneagram Edge with Host Tracy O’Malley

Although it’s similar to Myers Briggs, Disc, and even astrology, the Enneagram is more than just a personality typology.

The real beauty of the Enneagram comes when we dig deep and to uncover the behaviors we use to protect ourselves and hide our biggest fears. Those other personality predictors don’t get to the heart of all that, but the Enneagram can.

Yep, it’s more than just a personality thing. The Enneagram offers deep insight into our internal motivation.

It’s a well-known fact that people have a lot of questions about the Enneagram. On this episode of The Leadership Formula, I am sharing the answers to some of the questions I get asked.

Listen in to learn the answers to some of the biggest questions people have around the Enneagram and how it can be used like the Fast Pass to your true self. My goal is to help you figure out your personal puzzle while learning more about those you love and lead in this life.

If you’d like a better understanding of what working with the Enneagram can do for your life click to book an Enneagram Kickstart Session. If you want to go deeper, I’d love to help you. My private one-on-one coaching is powerful. To apply to work with me, just click on the link below.

What You Will Learn

How can you find out your true Enneagram type
The biggest problem with the Enneagram going mainstream
How to use the Enneagram without even mentioning it to other people
Which Enneagram types are most compatible in romance or friendships
Why any healthy Enneagram type can be compatible with any other type
Why certain Enneagram types challenge us more than others
Why personal growth leads us to attract different Enneagram types for different relationship categories
What an Enneagram coach is and is not
How an Enneagram coach can help you increase your growth in all areas of your life
How you can learn from Tracy and her understanding and integration of the Enneagram

Connect with Tracy

tracyomalley.com
www.instagram.com/tracy_omalley
www.facebook.com/tracy.omalley
twitter.com/TracyOMall
www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-o-malley/

Resources
Book an Enneagram Kickstart Session:
http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
1:1 COACHING with Tracy:
http://tracyomalley.com/shop/1-1coaching/
Email [email protected]

We know that before we can lead others, we need to understand ourselves. So that’s the best place to start with the Enneagram.

But life is about relationships, and what makes relationships either cook or crumble is communication. But how do you communicate with someone who seems so vastly different from you?

Enter the Enneagram. It not only helps us learn more about ourselves, but it can also help us understand more about others by connecting with what is really going on inside of them, and not just what they show to the world.

Today, I’m going to pull back the curtain to share those pieces of each Enneagram type that they don’t openly share. We’re going to take a look at the closet fears and hidden vulnerabilities that even your closest loved ones might not be willing to show you.

Listen in to find a fast past to empathy and unconditional love with your friends, family, and co-workers that embody the other Enneagram types. This episode will help you step around communication barriers, and misunderstandings and meet others with more understanding and compassion for better and ultimately deeper relationships.

What You Will Learn

How you can avoid feelings of resentment in your relationship with an Enneagram 1
The real reason 2s over give and how you can help them see their true value in your life
The deep-seated fear behind Enneagram 3s motivation for wanting to be the best
What the Enneagram 4s are hiding by constantly reinventing themselves
Why 5s might suddenly bail on a relationship just when you are getting close
What internal fear is keeping the Enneagram 6 from living up to their potential
How 7s internal struggles can lead to gluttony and addiction
Why 8s play a push-pull game in relationships if they’re not sure you have their back
Why 9s don’t express their feelings, and instead just go along with things to keep the peace

Connect with Tracy

tracyomalley.com
www.instagram.com/tracy_omalley
www.facebook.com/tracy.omalley
twitter.com/TracyOMall
www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-o-malley/

Resources

Book an Enneagram Kickstart Session:
http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Apply to work with Tracy:
http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Reason, Season, or Lifetime Poem:
https://www.google.com/search?q=Reason+Season+or+Lifetime+poem+on+google&rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS852US852&oq=Reason+Season+or+Lifetime+poem+on+google&aqs=chrome..69i57.10248j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
Email [email protected]

They say you teach what you need to learn the most. On today’s show, I’m living out that truth and sharing something very real in my life and something I think you need to hear.

I’ve talked about the Season, Reason, Lifetime poem in the past but today I’m talking unfiltered about how it can be painful when someone leaves your life — even if you were the one who ended things.

Relationships can turn on a dime and what you thought would last a lifetime is over in a season. Those situations can bring up feelings of rejection and leave us asking why this keeps happening to us.

How you react will be unique to you depending on your Enneagram type.

On this episode of The Leadership Formula, I’m sharing a very personal story of how one relationship that I thought was for a lifetime wasn’t and the fallout that ensued when it ended.

Listen in to learn where each Enneagram type turns when they feel rejected and how navigating the end of a relationship can cause us to lean into the unhealthy part of our Enneagram type or our stress number. I walk you through how each type can use the healthy side of their stress number to move past the sting and into a healthier way of viewing the situation.

Remember, you can use all the frameworks of your Enneagram type for something beautiful, you just must learn how.

If you want to go deeper, I’d love to help you. My private one-on-one coaching is powerful and right now I have two spots open. If you want to apply to work with me, just click on the link below.

What You Will Learn

How to work with your Enneagram type to find the beauty in a season or reason relationship
How Enneagram 1s can turn from their black and white thinking to learn from the relationship
What 2s can do to be less explosive and more decisive
How Enneagram 3s can keep from shutting down and find wisdom in the bigger picture
How Enneagram 4s can move from co-dependent strategies into seeing the truth of the relationship
Why leaning into Enneagram 7 will help 5s see things in a new light
How an Enneagram 6 can be more intentional and process things one at a time
How 7s can use Enneagram 1 to become less anxious
What 8s can do to discover why the relationship was a reason or season
How a 9 can be more intentional about the reason for the relationship so they can stress less

Connect with Tracy

tracyomalley.com
www.instagram.com/tracy_omalley
www.facebook.com/tracy.omalley
twitter.com/TracyOMall
www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-o-malley/

Resources
Apply to work with Tracy:
http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Book an Enneagram Kickstart Session:
http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Reason, Season, or Lifetime Poem:
https://www.google.com/search?q=Reason+Season+or+Lifetime+poem+on+google&rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS852US852&oq=Reason+Season+or+Lifetime+poem+on+google&aqs=chrome..69i57.10248j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
Email [email protected]

When I first met RT Custer, I thought he might have been an 8. So, I thought it would be fun to bring him on the show and do another live Enneagram typing session—an audience favorite.

RT Custer is the CEO and Co-Founder of Vortic Watch Company where they take one-of-a-kind pocket watches and turn them into a Vortic wristwatch. He is also the CRO of Carter & Custer, and the Co-Host of the Products Worth Talking About podcast.

RT is a high achiever. He is running multiple successful businesses, but that’s okay, he’s up for it. RT is a 3, the Competitive Achiever. He has the desire to be seen and influence people above all else.

On this episode of The Leadership Formula, RT shares how his small company engaged in a legal battle with a Goliath-sized company and came out on top and why that victory was so important to him. He walks us through his penchant for individual sports and why he prefers the war story over the medal.

He also describes some conflicts he’s had in his relationship with his wife who is also a 3. We explore where the clashes come in for their relationship, why things break down, and how RT can lean in to his 2 and 4 wings for more connection and internal significance in his relationships.

Listen in to understand what characterizes a Social 3 like RT, and how he can learn to leverage his Enneagram growth number to develop more strategic plans (and avoid burnout) for the long game as a business owner, partner, and parent. ​​

What You Will Learn

The 2 ways 3s and 8s can look alike and how to tell them apart
The source of conflict in a 3 with a 3 relationship and lean into their wings to overcome conflict
Why 3s need to lean into their 2 wing to avoid a path of wrecked relationships
What happens to 3s when winning becomes empty and why they're so hard to pull back from the edge
How 3s can lean into their growth number for endurance for the long game
How 3s can use the gifts of the 4 for overall harmony and not just success on paper
Why 3s should partner with 6s as gatekeepers in business and for improved personal relationships

Connect with RT

RT Custer on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/rtcuster
RT Custer on LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/rtcuster/


Connect with Tracy

tracyomalley.com
www.instagram.com/tracy_omalley
www.facebook.com/tracy.omalley
twitter.com/TracyOMall
www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-o-malley/

Resources

Book an Enneagram Kickstart Session:
http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Email [email protected]

Jake Kelfer is a self-aware, free spirit, motivated by taking action. He likes to be in the game and if he has an idea that he’s passionate about, he’s off and running with it. Jake cares deeply about the impression he leaves and desires to elevate every room he walks into while helping others to their next level. Originally Jake was typed as an Enneagram 3.

When I first met him, I saw the 3 behaviors, but as I got to know him, I felt there was something more; he has a willingness to go deeper than a 3 typically will and winning isn’t Jake’s only motivation. He also wants to bask in the level of play and grow through the experience.

Jake is always willing to take a backseat to elevate others and achieve better results for the team and humanity, which makes him an Enneagram 8, the Protective Challenger.

So, what does it look like when a healthy 8 sets out to blaze a trail?

Jake Helfer is a 29-year-old powerhouse entrepreneur, speaker, book coach, and author. He’s the author of three books: Elevate Beyond, Elevate Your Network, and The Elevated Entrepreneur. But his real gift is coaching others to help them make their dreams come true, whether that’s writing a book or turning some other passion into a reality.

On this episode of The Leadership Formula, Jake shares his close relationship with his family, and we discuss why some of his blocks around money are presenting as he achieves more success.

Jake describes his relationship with his brother and how he’s always been a rock for him, a true characteristic of the 8. We explore how Jake can leverage his 7 and 9 wings to embody his growth number and become more powerful.


Listen in to understand what characterizes a one-on-one 8 like Jake (and me), and how he can continue to use his gifts to help others through his coaching while allowing himself to have more wealth so he can elevate more people, especially those he cares about the most.
​​

What You Will Learn

Why high achievers like Jake tend to be mistyped more often than others
Why Jake’s quest to put others before himself is bigger than winning
Why one-on-one 8s can be introverted until they decide to show up
Which less flattering stereotypes of the type show up when 8s are unhealthy
Why an 8 is the one type you want in your corner when things “hit the fan”
The secret reason the 8s seek out and elevate the underdog
The aspect of the type 8 that helps Jake share his story with others
Why Jake was mistyped as an Enneagram 3 and how winning is different for the Protective Challenger
How Jake uses his 7 wing to reach for new levels of what’s possible, like when he created the Pro Basketball Combine
Why 8s fall into investigator mode and play small when they are feeling vulnerable
How Jake can lean into his growth number to alleviate his blocks and help even more people


Connect with Jake

Jake Kelfer:
https://www.jakekelfer.com/
Jake Kelfer on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/jakekelfer/

Connect with Tracy

tracyomalley.com
www.instagram.com/tracy_omalley
www.facebook.com/tracy.omalley
twitter.com/TracyOMall
www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-o-malley/

Resources

Unlocking Your Full Potential: Understanding the Enneagram Instinctual Subtypes on Leadership Formula EP220:
http://tracyomalley.com/ep220-unlocking-your-full-potential-understanding-the-enneagram-instinctual-subtypes/
Book an Enneagram Kickstart Session:
http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Email [email protected]

What's the one thing you know to be true, but you've spent a whole life trying to prove it's not?

For me, when I am in a room, I can easily slip into the role of the rock. I tend to be an over-giver in everything I do. Usually, I give out of the goodness of my heart, but occasionally I over-give to keep from being vulnerable, which as an 8 is my biggest fear.

But hiding behind our fears keeps real intimacy and real growth at arm's length.

So, what’s your biggest fear?

Usually, your biggest fear is tied to the thing your Enneagram type desires most.

On this episode of The Leadership Formula, I walk you through the biggest fears of each of the Enneagram types, offering examples of how each type sabotages its growth by running from what they know to be true.

I’ll walk you through why 1s fear of being wrong could be what’s blocking their biggest blessings, and what change 7s need to make that will bring them closer to their dreams. I also explain why our Enneagram subtype is the key to unlocking another layer of where your fears lie.

Listen in to understand the importance of facing your fears head-on so you can stop blocking the things you want in your life and move into the space where your biggest blessings are waiting for you.

What You Will Learn

Why the very thing your Enneagram type desires most is often the very thing you are most afraid of
Why your Enneagram subtype is the key to unlocking another layer of where your fears lie
How 1s fear of being wrong might be blocking some of their biggest blessings
What Enneagram 2s do that keep them from serving at their highest level
Why 3s quest for recognition is blocking their true value
Why 4s fear causes them to lean on drama and blow up their life
How focusing on the joy in the journey can be the key for 5s to get unstuck
What 6s can do to embrace the whole package of life’s journey
The change 7s can make that will move them closer to bringing their dreams to fruition
How 8s can have more intimacy, support, and connection in their lives
Why having the hard conversations will lead to more growth for 9s

Connect with Tracy

tracyomalley.com
www.instagram.com/tracy_omalley
www.facebook.com/tracy.omalley
twitter.com/TracyOMall
www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-o-malley/

Resources
Apply to work with Tracy:
https://th400.infusionsoft.app/app/form/358d38bc72d44412e3f190eb32301e0c?cookieUUID=607b805a-9d04-48ae-8e04-508309fdfb98
Unlocking Your Full Potential: Understanding the Enneagram Instinctual Subtypes on Leadership Formula EP220:
http://tracyomalley.com/ep220-unlocking-your-full-potential-understanding-the-enneagram-instinctual-subtypes/
Book an Enneagram Kickstart Session:
http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Email [email protected]

Are you letting the things life has taught you define you or refine you?

This is a big week. I’m turning 50. Can you even believe that? I remember looking at 50 as being so old. Now I know age is just a number.

There is a lot of trauma around my birthday and I’m still doing the work around that pain. But I’ve learned I can hold space for both grief and gratitude. I’m here for it all.

I've found no other education for experience and wisdom other than through the Ph.D. degree called life. I’ve learned, mostly the hard way, to be refined by the things I have been through, instead of letting them define me. That is what this episode is all about.

On this episode of The Leadership Formula, I'm going to walk you through the top 10 things I have learned in 50 years. Including what has challenged me as Enneagram 8 and a few lessons that might challenge the other Enneagram types.

Listen in to learn about the soul-honoring practices I live by and what I lean into to feed my passion and mission to pay it forward and leave a legacy. I’m forever grateful and I can’t wait to share this special episode with you today.



What You Will Learn

Why finding happiness and balance in life begins with saying no
Why 2s and 9s have a strong need to soften the blow of the word no
The 2 reasons why not every battle is yours to fight
How embracing season, reason, lifetime can help you discern the value of the relationships in your life
Why adopting a less is more lifestyle leaves you with more for what really matters
Why W.I.F.T. [what’s in it for them] is both the art of communication and the gift of the Enneagram
How to emulate the playful side of 7s to tap into the fountain of creativity, connection, and money
The secret to an even energy exchange in your relationships
The key to putting what you’ve learned through the Ph.D. degree called life into practice
The real reason why ‘the work’ is not done until you take your last breath

Connect with Tracy

tracyomalley.com
www.instagram.com/tracy_omalley
www.facebook.com/tracy.omalley
twitter.com/TracyOMall
www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-o-malley/

Resources

Book an Enneagram Kickstart Session:
http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Email [email protected]

My life growing up was hard. Oftentimes, I found it difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The Enneagram, combined with a strengthened faith in God, allowed me to grow into the person I am today.

On this episode of the Leadership Formula, I discuss my experience first learning about the Enneagram from my therapist and why I struggled to be open to it.

I share the details behind what leads to being mistyped and why our motives behind our behaviors are the true determinators of our Enneagram types.

The Enneagram helps us know why we are scared, but it’s up to us to take the leap from there. Listen in as I explain why the Enneagram does not replace your faith and why there will be times when you need to take blind steps into the unknown.

What You Will Learn

My experience learning about the Enneagram from my therapist and why I was not open to it at the time
Why understanding your motives is crucial to determining your Enneagram type
My goal to help others use their Enneagram results as a roadmap back to their souls’ calling
The importance of understanding that the Enneagram is a compass, not an excuse to behave a certain way
Why I often explain the Enneagram without Biblical teachings, as not everyone believes it is rooted in a divine higher power
Why the Enneagram is not meant to replace your faith
Why people that have been through hard times can struggle to see the light of the Enneagram

Connect with Tracy

tracyomalley.com
www.instagram.com/tracy_omalley
www.facebook.com/tracy.omalley
twitter.com/TracyOMall
www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-o-malley/

Resources

Work with Tracy:
http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Learn More About Team and Family Enneagram Workshops:
http://tracyomalley.com/workshops/
Leave a review on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-leadership-formula-podcast-enneagram-success/id1491541582?uo=4

Out of all the Enneagram types, 9s seem to be the most forgotten.

This is because of their easygoing nature and reluctance to make waves. Their main motivators are to create harmony both internally and in their surrounding environments.

They may not be ones to speak up too often, but in my opinion, they are the wisest on the Enneagram.

On this episode of the Leadership Formula, I am wrapping up our masterclass on each Enneagram type’s instinctual subtypes by focusing on the last in line, the 9s.

I discuss the nuances of the 9 as a whole, as well as the ins and outs of each subtype.

Listen in to learn more about why self-preservation 9s are the most resistant to opening up, why one-on-one 9s often struggle with co-dependency, and why social 9s often hide their pain from others while still harboring a need to be included.

What You Will Learn

A review on the basics of the 3 instinctual subtypes: self-preservation, one-on-one, and social
Why the Enneagram 9 has the biggest distinctions between its subtypes compared to the other types
Why 9s all express a need for comfortable fusion in their lives
Why self-preservation 9s are the most resistant to opening up to others
How self-preservation 9s show up more irritable and stubborn and have a stronger presence than the other two subtypes
Why self-preservation 9s have the ability to disconnect easily in efforts to not be controlled by desire or attachment
Why one-on-one 9s tend to feel more secure when partnered with others and find it challenging to be on their own
How one-on-one 9s show up as the least assertive 9 due to their kind and gentle nature
Why the social 9 is the counter type and often shows up as a facilitator or mediator within groups
Why social 9s hide their pain from those around them, so to not burden others with their stress
How social 9s show up as fun, lighthearted, and have a driving need to be included

Connect with Tracy

tracyomalley.com
www.instagram.com/tracy_omalley
www.facebook.com/tracy.omalley
twitter.com/TracyOMall
www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-o-malley/

Resources

Work with Tracy:
http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Learn More About Team and Family Enneagram Workshops:
http://tracyomalley.com/workshops/
Leave a review on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-leadership-formula-podcast-enneagram-success/id1491541582?uo=4

8s eat intensity for breakfast. We're self-reliant and strong, and we fear being betrayed, violated or vulnerable in any way—which makes us the most misunderstood of the Enneagram types.

Also known as the Protective Challenger or Active Controller, we have a passion for lust. But the subtypes of the Enneagram 8 express that passion in three distinct ways.

On this episode of The Leadership Formula, I walk you through the three subtypes of the Enneagram 8, describing the self-preservation 8’s no-nonsense approach to getting what they want from others without guilt or apology.

I discuss the passionate, charismatic nature of the one-on-one 8 and explain how they express lust through rebellion, openly expressing how their values differ from the norm.

Listen in to understand why social 8s are mistyped as 9s or 2s and learn how they rebel against social norms to protect others and promote justice.
 
What You Will Learn 
 
A review of the 3 instinctual subtypes—self-preservation, one-on-one and social
The self-preservation 8’s strong, direct approach to getting what they want
Why self-preservation 8s are often mistyped as Enneagram 5s
What self-preservation 8s can do to allow for a wider range of feelings and develop trust in others
The passionate, charismatic and rebellious nature of one-on-one 8s
Why one-on-one 8s tend to take over if they don’t trust the person in charge
How one-on-one 8s can benefit from the power of the pause
How social 8s rebel against social norms to protect others and promote justice
Why social 8s are often mistyped as Enneagram 9s or 2s
What social 8s can do to avoid losing themselves in service to others

Connect with Tracy

tracyomalley.com
www.instagram.com/tracy_omalley
www.facebook.com/tracy.omalley
twitter.com/TracyOMall
www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-o-malley/

Resources

Book an Enneagram Kickstart Session:
http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Book an Enneagram Experience:
http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Apply for 1:1 VIP Coaching:
http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Learn More About Enneagram Team Workshops:
http://tracyomalley.com/workshops/
Email [email protected]