The Erotic Philosopher

If you've ever felt conflicted about your relationship to love, romance and even how you love, you're going to enjoy today's guest  Anne Hodder-Shipp an award-winning certified sex and relationship educator dedicated to providing accurate, expansive, and compassionate care. They are the founder and lead educator at Everyone Deserves Sex Ed, a sex ed and professional development organization, and they work with people and couples of almost any age to help build skills, knowledge, and confidence around identity, pleasure, relationships, and communication. Most recently, Anne wrote the groundbreaking expansive love language ebook, Speaking from the Heart: 18 Languages for Modern Love, and its accompanying guide, The Speaking from the Heart Workbook: A Practical Guide to the Modern Love Languages.

In this interview Anne and I look at the role of sex education as a community endeavor, not just something that happens at school or for sex therapists, but something that helps us create communities that are meaningful. Then we shift toward unpacking their work critiquing the popuar 5 Love Languages and Anne offers us some powerful reframes and why we need to be a bit more curious about dissecting love languages as they've been fed to us.

• https://annehoddershipp.com/
• https://everyonedeservessexed.com/
• https://www.themodernlovelanguages.com/
• https://www.s3xplus.com/

Ignacio G. Hutía Xeiti Rivera (they/elle), M.A., is a cultural sociologist with expertise in sexual trauma, healing, and liberation for marginalized people. They are an internationally known gender non-conforming speaker, trainer, and consultant. Ignacio is the Founder and Co-Executive Director at The HEAL Project, where they work to prevent and end Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA). Ignacio is the co-host of 'Caution: Unrestricted', a survivor-centered talk show inviting everyone to engage with the Culture of Sexual Violence through brutal, and at times sarcastic, truth-telling. They are the co-developer of the Rivera-Azad Sexual Healing Integration Model (RASHIM). Learn more about RASHIM at heal2end.org/rashim

In this episode, we dig into family dynamics, healthy parent and child connections, and preventing sexual violence from childhood by removing shame and encouraging curiosity. You can follow Ignacio's work here as well as on the socials @heal2end.

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In this episode I am rejoined by my dear friend Eric G. Schneider who you met in Season 3, but this time he joins me to discuss his very personal experience of with surviving and living with the effects of prostate cancer and its impact on his relationship and his sex life.

Eric's willingness to share his story here is a cruicial aspect of our collective healing work - insofar that few men discuss or extrapolate the emotional and personal impact this condition has on them, their relationships and their sex lives.  Men and the people who love them will find this episode especially helpful for bringing to light the taboo of discussing intimacy from (cis) mens point of view.  Eric models and demostrates what is possible for men in relationships and sex when they are willing to be real with themselves and their partners, especially with issues so few men are willing to discuss - like the impact of erection function, hopes, fears,  and expectations on historically 'sexual' intimate relationships.

Welcome back to Season 4 of The Erotic Philosopher. In this episode we talk with Dr Eli Sheff, one of the world's foremost relationships researchers. Dr. Elisabeth “Eli” Sheff is a researcher, expert witness, coach and educator. With a PhD in Sociology and certification as a Sexuality Educator from AASECT, Dr. Eli specializes in gender and sexual minority families, consensual non-monogamy, and kink/BDSM. Sheff is the foremost academic expert on polyamorous families with children, and her 25+ year Polyamorous Family Study is the only longitudinal study of poly families with children to date. Dr. Eli has served as faculty at seven universities and currently chairs the CNM Legal Issues Team for the American Psychological Association, Division 44 Committee on CNM. Sheff has published four books and over 25 journal articles and chapters and is currently editing a series of books on relationship and sexual diversity. In this episode we explore all things relationships with a particular focus on polyamorous families with kids, legal issues for sex and gender minorities & different forms of bonding Find out more about The Erotic Philosopher  and more about Dr Eli Sheff

In this final episode for season three we finish by completing the circle of sex education with Justin Hancock.

Justin is a sex and relationships educator, trainer and practitioner working with young people and adults in this field since 1999. His website BISHuk.com is one of the leading sex and relationships advice websites for all those over 14. It receives thousands of visits per day and is highly regarded by young people and practitioners alike. Justin has worked in schools, colleges, universities, and youth projects for over 20 years delivering relationships & sex education (RSE) with young people over 14.

In addition to this Justin works with practitioners in sex and relationships education and sexual health services providing training and resources. He is also the co-author of a sex advice book with Meg-John Barker ( episode 14 of this season)  ‘Enjoy Sex - How, When and If You Want To'. He hosts the Culture Sex Relationships podcast. Justin’s latest book is ‘Can We Talk About Consent’, published by Quarto Books, is out now.

www.bishuk.com

www.bishtraining.com

soundcloud.com/culturesexrelationships

Social @bishtraining twitter

You may not have heard of the Wheel of Consent, but you really should. So much more than consent as a Yes / No transaction, "The Wheel" as its referred to in sexology circles, offers a frame work through which we can discuss sex , pleasure, power and so much more. This really is the sex education all of us should have received in high school, but I am certain none of us did.

To me, the wheel is one of the most powerful revolutions in sex education in a generation and today's guest is te creator of that revolution. Dr. Betty Martin has had her hands on people professionally for over 40 years, first as a Chiropractor and upon retiring from that practice, as a certified Surrogate Partner, Sacred Intimate, and Somatic Sex Educator. Her explorations in somatic-based therapy and practices informed her creation of the framework, The Wheel of Consent®.

https://bettymartin.org 

IG @thewheelofconsent

This episode brings two leading powerhouses of gender, trauma and their intersections with sex and pleasure. In this episode we look at the notion of intersectionality and how pleasure is informed by so much more than whats in our pants. You can find joy and pleasure after trauma and why generic sex advice can often make things worse for us than we intend.

Alex Iantaffi, PhD, MS, SEP, CST, LMFT (they/them) is a family therapist, WPATH certified gender specialist, AASECT certified sex therapist, Somatic ExperiencingⓇ practitioner, clinical supervisor, and author. Alex is Chair of the Trans and Queer interest network of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) and President Elect of the Minnesota Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (MAMFT). Alex is the author of "Gender Trauma: healing cultural, social, and historical gendered trauma" and co-author of the books "How to UnderstandYour Gender: a practical guide for exploring who you are", “How To Understand Your Sexuality”, “Life Isn’t Binary”, and “Hell Yeah Self-Care: a Trauma-Informed Workbook”. They also host the podcast Gender Stories. You can find out more about them at www.alexiantaffi.com or follow them on Twitter and Instagram @xtaffi and @genderstories 

Meg-John Barker is the author of a number of popular books on sex, gender, and relationships, including graphic guides to Queer, Gender, and Sexuality, How To Understand Your Gender, Life Isn’t Binary, Enjoy Sex (How, When, and IF You Want To), Rewriting the Rules, and Hell Yeah Self Care. They have also written a number of books for scholars and counsellors on these topics, drawing on their own years of academic work and therapeutic practice. Website: rewriting-the-rules.com. Twitter: @megjohnbarker, YouTube: MegJohnBarkerPsych

Strap in friends. This episode I dive deep with Dr Patrick Grant a Clinical Psychology Resident in Atlanta, GA. His interests include using clinical practice and research to expand the narratives of Black folx; and exploring the ways diversity-related experiences impact mental health outcomes. Grant’s published works primarily center same gender loving (SGL) Black male issues, which include but are not limited to the availability of sexually liberating spaces for Black queer men.

Should anal sex hurt and when it does, are you more of a man? As a Top are you more dominant if your partner experiences pain? And what does that say about how we even talk about sex from the outset? Whose pleasure is this anyway?  We explore some HUGE ideas regarding Black folx, access to healthcare and its impact on pleasure and so much more.

Instagram and Twitter: @iampryan

Dee Dee Goldpaugh, LCSW (they/them/theirs) is a psychotherapist and clinical supervisor in private practice specializing in sex and relationship therapy, trauma, spirituality, and Psychedelic Integration Psychotherapy. They are also a member of the Woodstock Therapy Center Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) Team. Dee Dee has written and presented widely on the topic of psychedelics and sexuality, queer identity, trauma, spiritual practice, and pleasure. Dee Dee is the Community Support and Integration Director of the Hudson Valley Psychedelic Society and has a clinical training background in Sex Therapy, EMDR, Internal Family Systems Therapy, and psychodynamic psychotherapy. They are an artist and musician, and have additional training in shamanic healing and bioregional herbal medicine. Dee Dee’s approach to psychotherapy embraces body and sex positivity and spiritual growth as tools for self-actualization. www.deedeegoldpaugh.com

Jessica Fern is a Psychotherapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and author of the book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Non Monomgamy. In her international private practice, Jessica works with individuals, couples, and people in multiple-partner relationships who no longer want to be limited by their reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles, and past traumas, helping them to embody new possibilities in life and love. Learn more at JessicaFern.com