The Everyday Human

March: On Death

March 22

Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Natalie Babbitt's novel Tuck Everlasting.

The number 117 billion is our best assumption at the number of humans who have ever lived on Earth. 

And all of those 109 billion people who came before us—our ancestors—all had their turn at life. They had their turn, they did the best they could (for the most part, maybe) and then they grew old and passed on or died young—to make room for us.

So we have to do our best as well. We have to do our best and then step aside for the new children who will grow and carry the torch when it’s our time to go. And we’ll do this for as long as it takes. One continuous chain. Because that’s what humans do.

• Reflection title: The Chain of Life
• Creative inspiration: Natalie Babbitt, Tuck Everlasting
• Reflection Question: Have I been so preoccupied with my own turn at life that I’ve failed to consider those who came before and those who will come after? What will I do to set the stage for the future generations?
  
  

March: On Death

March 21

Today's reflection was inspired by Clare Harner's poem "Immortality."

Immortality—something that humans have dreamed of since we became conscious of our own short and precious lifespan. Books have been written on it, movies made, and quests undergone by hopeful travelers in search of legendary fountains from which to drink everlasting youth. 

And today, you can find millionaires and billionaires desperately seeking treatments and interventions and protocols to extend their lifespan as far into the future as they can. 

But they’re all missing the point. 

The moral of those stories is that immortality is a curse and that any life worth living eventually has to end. Immortality would take away one of the key elements that defines our existence as humans—our impermanence. The short-lived nature of our lives is what makes our feelings, emotions, and actions so very intense. It is what gives us our purpose. 

And in a way, aren't you immortal already? You, who are made of star stuff . . . ?

• Reflection title: You Don’t Have to Live Forever, You Just Have to Live
• Creative inspiration: Clare Harner, "Immortality"
• Reflection Question: Am I focusing too much on the quantity of life granted to me, or am I focused on the quality?

March: On Death

March 20

Today's reflection was inspired by John Donne's poem "No Man Is an Island."

Every day you see stats in the news, jumbling up human lives into a number or a point on a graph.

But you must remember that each point on the graph, each number in a headline was a human being—just like you. They had friends and family and dreams and hopes and struggles and pains—just like you. 

Some of them had the potential to change the world. Some of them did change the world. And even if they didn’t, that doesn’t make their life any less important. 

Death is a part of life, yes, but we must remember that despite our differences, we are all one people—and the human race and human experience is diminished by even the loss of one of us. Just as it will be diminished by your absence when the bell inevitably tolls for thee.

• Reflection title: More Than Just A Number
• Creative inspiration: John Donne, "No Man Is an Island"
• Reflection Question: Do I exist on an island? How can I strive to better understand my place on the broad continent of humanity?
  
  

March: On Death

March 19

Today's reflection was inspired by the Flogging Molly song "If I Ever Leave This World Alive."

It’s a nice thought to think that if you ever leave before your loved ones that you’d have the chance to still thank them for everything they did for you. It’s lovely to think that you’d be able to come back and sit beside their feet—to take their sorrow and be there when they just can’t take anymore of the pain and suffering and sadness the world has to offer. 

It’s nice to think it, nice to hope it, but the truth is, you just don’t know. 

This time, now, could be all you ever get. You might as well treat it like it is. 

So before you go, make sure you tell them now just how thankful you are for them. Make sure you take the sadness you’re able to now for them. Be there while you can—when things get weird . . . and before you leave this world.

• Reflection title: Do It While You’re Alive
• Creative inspiration: Flogging Molly, "If I Ever Leave This World Alive"
• Reflection Question: While I’m still here today, who should I thank for all of the things they’ve done for me? Who needs me to be there for them now?
  
  

March: On Death

March 18

Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from J.R.R. Tolkien's The Return of the King. 

Some will say, wrongfully, “Do not cry. It is a weakness.”

Some might say, wrongfully, “Do not cry, they would want you to be happy.” 

You may feel that if you cry you are acquiescing to the reality of Death’s demands.

And the tears will be painted evil and caged within and they will fester and rot and eat away at your body and soul from the inside out. 

Do not let this happen or heed the foolish words of others. Listen to your body and weep. Let the tears fall. Quench the ground’s thirst with your salt and water, clean your eyes and your soul and feel the tightness on your cheeks after the tears have dried. 

Understand the emotion, feel the sorrow and the rage and the hurt and know that you are living . . . and know that not all tears are an evil.

• Reflection title: Blurry Vision
• Creative inspiration: J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
• Reflection Question: Do I let my tears flow free? Or do I fear them and hold them back? Why?
  
  

March: On Death

March 17

Today's reflection was inspired by the poem "Death" by William Butler Yeats.

Death walks next to you every day. He stands over your bed every night. You brush him off and say, “Not yet,” but with courage, you do not tell him to be gone because you know Death to the bone, like an old friend. He’s a part of you, just as much as your fingers or hair. 

The experience around Death is a stage play written by man. 

It is in this way we have created him. 

It has been dramatized like dialogue between a lover speaking down to her darling from a balcony beneath the stars that they would defy. It has become an event to fear and even loathe—one that consumes more of your time in living than the actual moment itself. 

You have created the draft of Death in life, but it is in your power to edit it. So, how will you?

• Reflection title: What Have I Created?
• Creative inspiration: William Butler Yeats, "Death"
• Reflection Question: Our relationship with and concept of Death is a uniquely human construct. So, understanding this, can I or should I edit my own personal relationship with it?

March: On Death

March 16

Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Herakles by Euripedes. 

It is a powerful thing—grief and our ability to mourn and refuse to let go of the dead. 

We have things to say that we wished we would have said when they were still here. We long to see their faces just one more time. We dream of their scent and touch, so much so that it can drive us to madness. Drive us to the point of doing something so categorically human—call them back to us from the beyond, even if it is to be with their shadowed or dream-like selves for just a moment more.

• Reflection title: Snip, Snip
• Creative inspiration: Euripedes, Herakles 
• Reflection Question: Who am I calling back, and why? If they ever could come back, what would I say to them?
  
  

March: On Death

March 15

Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's Notes on Grief.

Since the beginning of humans, we've found ways by which to remember those we have lost. We hold on to items they may have loved in life. We leave their rooms the way they were when they said their last goodbye. We get tattoos of something that reminds us of them.

Once they die, they don't have to leave you. They can stay with you, help you, and inspire you. And if you want to put a little ink in your skin to remember them by, then by all means, go ahead and do it.

• Reflection title: What’s the Dove Mean?
• Creative inspiration: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Notes on Grief.
• Reflection Question: What is it that I use to remember those I lost? Or have I been too afraid to remember?
  
  

March: On Death

March 14

Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from the video game The Last of Us.

There are many types of death—the death of innocence, of a certain period in life, the death of a family (metaphorically speaking), and of course, a literal death. 

With them, come the many flavors of survivor’s guilt. And whether it’s through surviving traumatic experiences and carrying less of them with you than others, or surviving literal life-and-death scenarios and escaping with your life while others did not, it can be a serious struggle. 

But no matter how big or small, you have to keep finding something to fight for . . . to live for while you’re still here and while you’re still whole. If you’re lucky enough to have been given a second chance, don’t squander it.

• Reflection title: Second Chances Aren’t a Given
• Creative inspiration: The Last of Us (video game)
• Reflection Question: Have I been struggling with surviving while others did not? What have I found to continue to fight for?

March: On Death

March 13

Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Howard Dietz. 

Make a list right now—in your journal or in your mind: three things you want to accomplish before you die. 

These could be big things like traveling to a new country or writing a novel, or they could be small like planting a garden or taking your partner out on a date to the new cafe in town.

Now go ahead and pick one to start today. Don't wait till tomorrow (that word we all love so much).

We only have so much salt in our shakers, and you never know when it's going to run out, so don't wait.

• Reflection title: Dig Your Dreams Out From Their Graves
• Creative inspiration: Howard Dietz, Quote (source unknown)
• Reflection Question: What three things do I want to accomplish before I die? Which one will I start today?