This one, right here, is a shit show. It's uneven in every way, with false starts, false endings, long stretches of silence, burps, sighs, non-canonical location shots, breaks, rampant non sequitur, mind numbing repetitiveness, ranting, mumbling, and so much complaining!

 

Also, listen for: Toto, Mark Leyner, studio musicians, mouth music, simulation theory, Walmart, life insurance scams, duck dick crazy, more simulation theory, Lovecraftian squid monsters from another dimension, Yeezy, and politics!

Straight off the map with this episode! The canonical returns and is immediately shunned and beaten about the neck and shoulders! Tune up the chainsaw and sharpen your scum sensor because it gets real fuckin' stupid, real fuckin' quick!

 

Also: Shia LaBeouf, reptilian overlords, paranoid ranting, mass hypnosis, Stone Temple Pilots, farcical charades, assassination dreams, campgrounds, fertile trees, and a general displeasure about being involved in the human race!

Yeah! Throwing off the chains of oppression and biting the thumb of the system that feeds us! It's the first Non-Canonical Bonus Episode of The Face/Off Podcast! Constraints of the gorgon Face/Off are cast aside and the mind let loose to wander! I'm super tired! Freedom is pain!

 

Also: Whales, fate, the soul, Kurt Vonnegut, assholes on the bus, cogs in the great machine that labors only to grind us to jelly, self-loathing, a marked sense of dread at the prospect of propositioning potential future guests, and anthropomorphism!

Episode 15! Strap on your ear biscuits and get down to the old farmstead for a tall glass of fresh squeezed pod juice! This episode is a real twisty roller coaster of the mind! Look out for birds! They are deadly at this speed!

 

Also: Nic Cage sitting in a white room wearing a white leather jacket talking about Castor Troy, Arnold, Sly, animation dreams, virtual reality, tiny impish representations of me sitting in ear-holes, simulation theory, Illuminati scum, multi-headed forty tentacled Squid beings with virtual reality suppositories for their forty different separate but equal tentacle anus's, mental checklists, advertisement disdain, variable sized adjustable tits! All this and, really, just so much more!

It's Friday! A new day is upon us! Reading, thinking, and talking is hard! What a lesson! Some less than tantalizing Face/Off trivia today! Feeling pretty much base-line about the whole situation! Ignore these exclamation marks! They are meaningless!

 

Also in this episode*: haters get fed to alligators, Jack Nicholson in drag, a bold Face/Off conspiracy theory, boredom, my dogs sleeping on the floor, and some kind of dispute over t-shirt sales!

 

*Some or all of the items listed may or may not appear in episode.

It's all about racism! My racist dad! Your racist uncle! Lo-key racists! Fat racists! Is Steven Spielberg more racist than Micheal Bay?! Is it better to be a torch carrying, parade having, proud, out-loud racist than to hide racism behind a veneer of un-racism? None of the questions get answered on The Face/Off Podcast: Episode 013 – The Episode Without a Name Part 2: Revenge of the Episode Without a Name!

 

Also: selfishness, Dick, Stephen King, Marky Mark, actors, awards, bad acting overshadowing good acting, decapitation, I ain't hesitatin' to put you in the funeral home with a bullet in your dome, I'm hot like lava, you got a problem? I got a problem solver, and his name is revolver, It's like a deadly game of freeze tag, I touch you with a 44 mag, and your frozen inside a body bag, nobody illa, than this grave yard filla, cap peela, cuz I'm a natural born killa, and black-face!

After a one week and one day hiatus, or “sojourn into the desert”, The Face/ Podcast returns with a especially titillating episode! Recorded on location in the Hico-Mart laundromat parking lot, with real early morning energy, and at times reaching semi-coherence!

 

In this episode: books, gender roles, toys, surgery, suits, drugs, years of uncontrollable laughter, years of uncontrollable hiccups, years of uncontrollable swallowing reflex, more drugs, cops, bullies, tie pins, and Louis CK.

It's a big pile of this and that, this week! Good times galore! Get on the ol' Carolina Caboose and whittle a stick down at the drinkin' pond! It's a real nonsense hootenanny. My spellcheck knows how to spell hootenanny!

 

Also: RIOT!, trauma, 150 volts, French mumble-mouths, scars, books, words, embarrassed explosions, impostor carousels, meditation, apathy in the face of violence, and Chuck Palahniuk!

Back on track and feeling real funky! This episode concerns itself with the great dilemmas of our time: Finding ones self surrounded by pod-people replacements from another dimension! Time to die earth-man!

 

Also in this episode: pin-striped suits, body hair, summer blues, sexualized weapons of mass destruction, baldness, hairiness, and ineffective methods for processing grief!

Oh god damn it! Another real boner of a show. It sounds good but is not good. And I thrash for survival in the oceanic depths of irony that threaten crush the life-force from my meat... This was to be a monument to the defeat of the concepts of good and bad, but it is, itself, bad. It sucks! Probably.

 

Also in this episode: trash, garbage, rot, idiocy, stupidity, boredom, loathing, waste, unforgivable dumbness, lip cancer, and a brief appearance by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.