The Flopcast

It's another week in Chickentown Lockdown... so Kevin and Kornflake are playing weird secret online games with their weird secret online friends, Niki Luparelli is entertaining the world from her kitchen, Jay Leno is distracted by Kevin's t-shirt, and a trip into the Pudding Pages leads to yet another Flopcast discussion of Dynamite magazine. This is a quick one, because we're very busy not doing anything.

We're back for another round of the dumb game we invented last week, Trapped in the House. (This is the most timely we've ever been on the Flopcast... by about thirty years.) Kornflake is in charge this time, forcing Kevin to choose his quarantine roommates from a bizarre list of terrifying options. The list includes a werewolf, a robot, a Brady, an alien or two, some cartoon sharks, and more. Feel free to play along. Choose wisely. Or not. Whatever. Also: Valerie Bertinelli is having one birthday at a time, and the turkeys are taking over.

This week we're starting with even more TV talk, as Kornflake is reunited with her long lost Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Meanwhile Kevin recounts what is probably, hopefully, the most bizarre episode of The Love Boat ever. And you'd better believe Janet Jackson and a robot duplicate of Isaac the bartender were involved, just like in your dreams. All part of the fun of being trapped in the house. And speaking of being trapped in the house, we're also playing a new game we just invented, and it's called... Trapped in the House. It's stupid. You'll love it. Plus: Happy Birthday to Jon Cryer! He's Duckie, he's Lex Luthor, and of course, he's Lex Luthor's goofy nephew Lenny. This is important.

In these weird scary times, we're keeping the Flopcast short, simple, and (hopefully) silly, as we review our latest trapped-in-the-house activities. Kornflake has been checking out music from Vance Gilbert, Jim Infantino, They Might Be Giants, and Carbon Leaf... and she also invented a goofy potato game. Meanwhile Kevin just started watching The Mandalorian and rewatching Ozark, when he's not distracted by old wrestling videos. (Was the appearance of the "Where's the Beef?" lady at Wrestlemania 2 the greatest moment in sports history? You know the truth.) Also, because in another timeline this is baseball season, we take a quick look at The Bad News Bears - not the movie, but the short-lived, long-forgotten TV series. It's been missing from your life for forty years, it's available on DVD for your social distancing entertainment needs, and it has all the Corey Feldman Little League action you can possibly handle.

We're still in social distancing mode here in Chickentown, of course, as we cross one cancelled event after another off the stupid calendar. (Specifically, Pee Wee Herman and Diane Birch are keeping their distance from us this week.) But that means more TV talk (Lost in Space, Shrill, Picard, Taskmaster, and the upcoming cartoon Solar Opposites) and even more online concerts (Taylor Dayne is telling it to our hearts, straight from her living room). Also, National Handmade Day is this week, and is NOT cancelled, so Kornflake is gonna macrame like it's 1979. And in our Chickens in the News segment, we discuss new fossil evidence of a giant prehistoric chicken that dressed like Lynda Carter and killed all the dinosaurs. (Disclaimer: We just kind of skimmed the article.)

Remember what the world was like two weeks ago? Yeah, things have changed. But that's when Kevin took a quick trip to Las Vegas to visit our dear friends Brittany and Martha of Good Enough Cosplay! So they're on the show this week, discussing murderers and ice cream bears, strippers and showers, turkeys and taxes, Black Widow and Hawkeye... and their upcoming podcast: But First, Let's Talk Nerdy. Kevin and Brittany also ran a 5K race in the Vegas desert, and the results will shock you. (Yes, rubber reptiles and tiny trash bins were involved.) Also: Online concerts, Mystery Science Theater 3000 Live, where to find the new Kornflake & Jacob album, a Kornflake Book Club update, and Happy Birthday to Martin Short. Why not celebrate by dressing like Ed Grimley? It's not like you're leaving the house.

Kornflake has returned from Minnesota with a full report on MarsCon, home of our beloved Dementia Track of comedy music performances! And this was the busiest MarsCon ever for Kornflake! In addition to her regular Dementia Water Aerobics classes (keeping nerds in shape and exhausted since 2013), she (along with Jacob Haller and Doornail) was scheduled for her own comedy music concert! And... Kornflake and Jacob released a whole new album of original silly songs too! Also on the MarsCon Dementia schedule: Mikey Mason, Devo Spice, Marc With a C, Michael William Hunter, the great Luke Ski, Lauren Mayer, TV's Kyle and Linzilla, Brett Glass, Karl Brown, and Beth Kinderman and the Player Characters! Plus: Dementia Smackdown Wrestling, fun with the AED, emergency pool repairs, the Space Oddity Music Club and Brew Pub, and the dangers of partying with Klingons. Also: National Awkward Moments Day, a Kornflake Book Club update, listener feedback from our 1980 TV episodes, and Happy 99th (!) Birthday to the Mad cartoonist with a snappy answer for every stupid question, Al Jaffee. Be safe and be silly, kids.

Kevin and the Mayor conclude their look back at the TV shows that debuted in 1980! It was the year of Tom Selleck in Hawaii and Tom Hanks in drag. Deputy Enos left Hazzard County for Los Angeles. The biggest stars in country music shared a stage with the Krofft puppets. Future stars like Martin Short and Linda Hamilton popped up in shows nobody remembers. (Our apologies to all you diehard fans of I'm A Big Girl Now and Secrets of Midland Heights...) We also had Ted Knight, Ann Jillian, Shaun Cassidy... and a short-lived reality show that introduced the world to a certain Mr. T. Want more? Okay, how about... the Solid Gold dancers! You're working on your time machine right now, aren't you? See you forty years ago.

While Kornflake is off entertaining the nerds of Minnesota at MarsCon, Kevin and the Mayor discuss obscure TV shows from forty years ago. (We're quite timely around here.) Specifically we're looking at shows that debuted in the year 1980. And it's a weird list. Weirder than you think. Including: Spinoffs of 70s hits that flopped in the 80s (Flo, Sanford, Beyond Westworld, Galactica 1980), a pair of long-running PBS shows (3-2-1 Contact and Mystery!), a don't-try-this-at-home reality TV classic (That's Incredible!), a late night SNL-inspired sketch comedy series (Fridays), a few painful reminders that variety shows were just about dead (The Tim Conway Show, The Big Show, and the notorious Pink Lady and Jeff), and a few short-lived oddities that nobody remembers. (Goodtime Girls, anyone? Me and Maxx? No?) And we're only halfway home; we'll get through the rest of the list next week. So come on back to 1980 with us, vote for Carter, and enjoy.

Time to finish what we started (and instantly regretted) last week: A ridiculous Flopcast tournament of 1980s pop stars, as we celebrate the 35th anniversary of USA for Africa and "We Are the World." We're still picking the players and the events at random, so anything could happen. Stevie Wonder and Paul Simon in a pie-eating contest? Perhaps. Smokey Robinson and the Pointer Sisters playing Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots? Why not? In the end, only one USA for Africa member can survive, and this shall be the greatest honor of their career, except for literally everything else they've ever done. That's the plan. There comes a time, when we heed a certain call. A call to obsess over goofy 80s stuff. Just you and me.