The Focused Mindset Podcast

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This episode explores the power of cultural awareness, empathy, and genuine connection in school counseling. The conversation reflects on a challenging school year in California and shows how understanding the lived experiences of students and families leads to more effective support, stronger trust, and more equitable service.

• Reflecting on a school year shaped by turmoil, fear, and uncertainty
• How demographics shape the needs of a school community
• A powerful early teaching experience about race, trust, and proving competence
• Building connection by meeting families where they are
• The impact of reading culturally relevant books in the classroom
• Supporting students and families affected by immigration-related fears
• Creating a safe space for students observing Ramadan
• Why equity is more than policy and paperwork
• The importance of listening to parents' concerns with humility
• Finding shared humanity across different backgrounds and beliefs

• 00:01 - Episode intro and reflection on the school year
• 00:57 - California turmoil and the emotional weight on schools
• 03:20 - Why demographics matter in school communities
• 03:48 - First teaching job and an uncomfortable parent interaction
• 05:16 - Using books from different cultures to build trust
• 06:09 - A classroom visit that changed everything
• 07:05 - Learning the value of connection over proving a point
• 08:04 - Seeing the community through other people's worldview
• 09:01 - A student's fear about grandparents being deported
• 11:26 - Opening recess conversations for worried students
• 11:55 - Supporting students who fast during Ramadan
• 13:22 - How small accommodations build trust
• 15:19 - Equity as listening to real people, not just numbers
• 17:10 - Finding alignment across faiths, cultures, and fears
• 18:08 - Final encouragement to seek understanding and serve with humility

• Demographics are not just data, they reflect real people with real needs
• Cultural responsiveness begins with listening and curiosity
• Small, thoughtful accommodations can have a major emotional impact
• Equity is lived through relationships, not just policies
• Shared fears and hopes create the strongest bridges between people

  TEDx: How to Lead with Hope: Solution Focused Conversation Navigation https://youtu.be/Am3ZoF53BS0?si=ZaflEtnhsdjgJ2oN

  Instagram: Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset Podcast https://www.instagram.com/cherkretz_thefocusedmindset/

  TikTok: @Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset

  https://www.tiktok.com/@cherkretz?lang=en

The episode's central message is that genuine service begins when we stop trying to prove ourselves and start trying to understand others.

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Cher shares her personal journey of alignment and attitude, and shares what she learned on the road to her recognition as a finalist for the 2027 California School Counselor of the Year, emphasizing the importance of deliberate attitude and alignment in professional and personal life. In her preparation to apply for RAMP, the power of alignment became more important than ever! Hear how this all comes together in this episode.

TEDx: How to Lead with Hope: Solution Focused Conversation Navigation https://youtu.be/Am3ZoF53BS0?si=ZaflEtnhsdjgJ2oN

Instagram: Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset Podcast https://www.instagram.com/cherkretz_thefocusedmindset/

TikTok: @Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset

https://www.tiktok.com/@cherkretz?lang=en

Tip Jar: Your generous support helps me create more free resources and keep this podcast going strong. Thank you. https://thefocusedmindset.ck.page/products/tips-4-cher

Key topics

• Authenticity and its impact on relationships
• The importance of alignment in personal and professional life
• How to deliberately choose and practice a positive attitude
• The significance of authenticity in achieving recognition
• Strategies for maintaining alignment in challenging situations

TEDx: How to Lead with Hope: Solution Focused Conversation Navigation https://youtu.be/Am3ZoF53BS0?si=ZaflEtnhsdjgJ2oN

This episode explores the profound importance of authentic human connection in counseling and education, especially in an era increasingly influenced by AI. Cher shares insights on how interpersonal communication and rapport remain irreplaceable, emphasizing the value of being deliberate and intentional in our interactions.

Learn about:

• The current AI explosion does not threaten jobs requiring personal communication; human connection remains essential.

• AI's role in emotional and interpersonal conversations is limited, often reinforcing existing thoughts rather than deep understanding.

• The unique value of human interaction, particularly in mental health and counseling, is highlighted through the experience of locking in with clients or students face-to-face.

• Developing rapport and locking in during conversations can inspire quicker action and meaningful change.

• Expertise and creativity as a counselor or educator are irreplaceable; reliance solely on AI or step-by-step programs diminishes professionalism.

• Addressing the importance of being intentional, especially when implementing programs like ramp in school counseling, to ensure genuine impact.

• The significance of authentic listening, understanding worldview, and focusing on the individual's end goals to foster change.

• The concept of the "paper test"—ensuring interventions lead to real-world change, not just ticking boxes on paperwork.

• The idea that lasting change happens outside of formal activities, through real conversations and meaningful engagement.

• The continuous importance of serving with purpose and intention, both in small moments and large initiatives, to truly connect and make a difference.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction: The AI explosion and its limited impact on personal communication jobs

00:31 - Why AI doesn't threaten face-to-face counseling and emotional conversations

01:57 - The reinforcement tendency of AI and its limits in deep human connection

02:52 - The irreplaceable value of face-to-face interactions for rapport and unlocking change

03:21 - The power of genuine presence and face-to-face locking in with clients or students

04:46 - How AI tries to replicate connection through scripted conversation and its limitations

05:43 - The importance of rapport, especially in counseling and coaching, for unlocking potential

06:40 - Developing skills for quick rapport building and why it's critical to service value

07:09 - Human connection as a key differentiator in all professional settings

08:04 - The importance of expertise in counseling—going beyond reliance on programs or digital tools

09:01 - The risk of devaluing your role by doing only what AI can replicate

09:58 - Embracing solution-focused approaches to deepen human engagement

10:27 - The power of asking the right questions and unlocking future-focused thinking

11:26 - The value of intentionality in programming, especially through tools like ramp

12:20 - How deliberate planning enhances effectiveness and personal relevance in counseling

13:19 - The importance of true intervention over checkbox activities—making real change

14:42 - The danger of surface-level activities; real change is driven by meaningful conversations

15:39 - The desire and motivation to create impactful, model programs through intentional work

16:36 - Acting with purpose and serving with deliberate intent in every interaction

17:04 - Unlocking deeper connections through purposeful, authentic engagement

18:54 - The "paper test"—assessing if actions lead to real change beyond paperwork

19:51 - The significance of real-world application and how counseling creates lasting change

21:47 - The expertise and insight counselors bring that can't be replicated by AI

22:16 - Moving beyond quick fixes; serving with genuine connection rather than check boxes

23:14 - Building ongoing relationships for sustained impact in student and client success

24:12 - The importance of being present and accessible to foster trust and continuous growth

25:10 - The value of authenticity, deliberate listening, and intentional engagement

25:41 - Encouragement to strengthen human connection skills in professional practice

26:11 - How reaching out and staying connected can enhance your impact and professional growth

26:38 - Final message: You matter, your interactions make a difference, and live solution focused.Resources & Links:

• The Focused Mindset

Connect with Cher:

• Email

• Website

Start your free Solution-Focused 3-day training here: https://www.thefocusedmindset.com/leadwithhopechallenge

You want to have meaningful conversations, but relationships are complicated, and opportunities are missed. This is why I created the three-day conversation navigation challenge, and you can now join for free with this link. ALSO, you will get a 50% discount code for my Conversation Navigation Bundle that will give you both audio and video training and two courses and my book 30 Days to Higher Hopes sent to you.

TEDx: How to Lead with Hope: Solution Focused Conversation Navigation https://youtu.be/Am3ZoF53BS0?si=ZaflEtnhsdjgJ2oN

Instagram: Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset Podcast https://www.instagram.com/cherkretz_thefocusedmindset/

TikTok: @Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset

https://www.tiktok.com/@cherkretz?lang=en

Tip Jar: Your generous support helps me create more free resources and keep this podcast going strong. Thank you. https://thefocusedmindset.ck.page/products/tips-4-cher

TEDx: How to Lead with Hope: Solution Focused Conversation Navigation https://youtu.be/Am3ZoF53BS0?si=ZaflEtnhsdjgJ2oN

When we first learn about the solution-focused approach apprach it may seem like you spend most of your time learning about how to run the first session or how to have the first conversation. Because this is an approach, not a step-by-step guided practice, some people do a great job with that first meeting only to choose not to use those skills in the second session. In this episode, we talk about the importance of the second session, and Cher shares an intake method she uses that has helped her second sessions run smoothly and have an even greater impact. This will also help you bring this practice to fidelity for you so you don't just know about this approach, but you have confidence in using it with clients and in coaching conversations.

Key Topics

• Importance of deliberate practice in second sessions
• Using a structured intake to guide follow-up
• Building client capacity for self-directed change
• The role of curiosity and listening in solution focused therapy
• Using scaling questions to measure progress
• Maintaining solution focus without slipping into problem talk

Start your free Solution-Focused 3-day training here: https://www.thefocusedmindset.com/leadwithhopechallenge

In this episode, you will learn:

• Consistency in applying solution-focused techniques is key to client progress.
• The second session is crucial for reinforcing change and planning next steps.
• Using visual tools like the four chambers helps clients see their progress.
• Curiosity about the client's preferred future keeps sessions growth-oriented.
• Practicing skills in real-life situations enhances naturalness and effectiveness.

The podcast Solution Focused Possibilities, episode 19, was discussed in this episode, so feel free to listen to the entire conversation.

You want to have meaningful conversations, but relationships are complicated, and opportunities are missed. This is why I created the three-day conversation navigation challenge, and you can now join for free with this link.

TEDx: How to Lead with Hope: Solution Focused Conversation Navigation https://youtu.be/Am3ZoF53BS0?si=ZaflEtnhsdjgJ2oN

Instagram: Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset Podcast https://www.instagram.com/cherkretz_thefocusedmindset/

TikTok: @Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset

https://www.tiktok.com/@cherkretz?lang=en

Tip Jar: Your generous support helps me create more free resources and keep this podcast going strong. Thank you. https://thefocusedmindset.ck.page/products/tips-4-cher

In this inspiring episode, you can listen in on part of the conversation with Dr. Loretta Whitson, and Cher revisits and reflects upon what she learned from this chat. She talkes about the unexpected qualities that help us grow like long suffering, and advocacy in the field of school counseling. Discover how deep purpose, moral compass, and boldness shape impactful leadership and help us live in service.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Long Suffering in Leadership 12:05 The Importance of a North Star 14:25 Understanding Long Suffering 17:29 The Role of Patience in Leadership 19:39 Persistent Patience and Moral Compass 22:23 Finding Deeper Purpose in Leadership 25:02 Navigating Challenges and Opposition 27:43 Embracing Change and New Beginnings

Start your free Solution-Focused 3-day training here: https://www.thefocusedmindset.com/leadwithhopechallenge

TEDx: How to Lead with Hope: Solution Focused Conversation Navigation https://youtu.be/Am3ZoF53BS0?si=ZaflEtnhsdjgJ2oN

Instagram: Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset Podcast https://www.instagram.com/cherkretz_thefocusedmindset/

TikTok: @Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset

https://www.tiktok.com/@cherkretz?lang=en

Tip Jar: Your generous support helps me create more free resources and keep this podcast going strong. Thank you. https://thefocusedmindset.ck.page/products/tips-4-cher

Resources

California Association of School Counselors (CASC) - https://www.schoolcounselor-ca.org/

First: Follow this link to get your free 35 Solution Focused Questions worksheet! https://thefocusedmindset.kit.com/620a7a8b4e

In this episode of The Focused Mindset Podcast, Cher dives into one of the most important skills in communication: how to build rapport from the very beginning of a conversation.

Using the solution-focused approach, Cher shares how small shifts in the way we ask questions can dramatically improve connection, trust, and impact. She also reflects on a powerful insight: sometimes even well-intended positive questions can feel invalidating if we are not fully meeting people where they are.

This episode will help you balance hope and authenticity, so your conversations feel real, not forced.

• Why the way a conversation starts often determines how it ends
• How certain "positive" questions can accidentally feel invalidating
• The difference between solution-focused vs. overly positive communication
• How to stay curious and present instead of anxious or self-focused
• Simple, powerful questions that instantly build connection 🔗 Resources Mentioned in This Episode
  • Free 35 Solution Focused Questions resourse worksheet https://thefocusedmindset.kit.com/620a7a8b4e
  • Solution Focused Possibilities Podcast https://sfpossibilities.org/
  • Vin Giang – Communication & Conversation Skills https://www.youtube.com/@askvinh

Use these in conversations to create connection and trust:

1. "Tell me more."
2. "That's an interesting way to look at it."
3. "What do you love most about that?"
4. "I see where you're coming from."
5. "That must have been a big moment for you."
6. "What else?"

Instead of jumping straight to:

• "What's been better?"

Try:

• "What have you been thinking about lately?"
• "Have you had any new thoughts?"
• "What's going in the right direction?"

These open the door without dismissing real struggles.

Even solution-focused questions can feel too positive or invalidating if we skip over someone's real experience.

The goal is not to avoid problems. The goal is to walk through them with someone so they can see possibilities.

• Solution Focused Possibilities Podcast https://sfpossibilities.org/
• Vin Giang – Communication & Conversation Skills https://www.youtube.com/@askvinh

In a world moving quickly toward digital connection, this episode is a reminder to slow down and prioritize real human connection.

When we lead with curiosity instead of control, conversations become meaningful, hopeful, and transformational.

In a world where influence shapes our communities, few stories resonate as deeply as that of Dr.Manal Fakhoury. From migrating from Palestine as a young girl, to her roots in Southern California, to the life she shaped with her family in Ocala, Florida, Manal embodies the essence of a true woman of influence. Join us as we explore her inspiring journey, her commitment to community, and the lessons she has learned along the way.

Dr. Manal Fakhouy is the Organizer and Curator of TEDx Ocala, President of ollinwomen.org, and founder of Fakhoury Leadership International. These are only a few of the accomplishments she has had and in this episode you will get to hear her stories and benefit from her wisdom.

Start your free Solution-Focused 3-day training here: https://www.thefocusedmindset.com/leadwithhopechallenge

You want to have meaningful conversations, but relationships are complicated, and opportunities are missed. This is why I created the three-day conversation navigation challenge, and you can now join for free with this link.

TEDx: How to Lead with Hope: Solution Focused Conversation Navigation https://youtu.be/Am3ZoF53BS0?si=ZaflEtnhsdjgJ2oN

Instagram: Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset Podcast https://www.instagram.com/cherkretz_thefocusedmindset/

TikTok: @Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset

https://www.tiktok.com/@cherkretz?lang=en

Tip Jar: Your generous support helps me create more free resources and keep this podcast going strong. Thank you. https://thefocusedmindset.ck.page/products/tips-4-cher

In this engaging conversation, Lori Woodley-Langendorff discusses her book 'SEL Muscle Mastery' and the importance of practical skills in education. The dialogue explores the journey of writing and publishing a book, the significance of social-emotional learning (SEL), and the application of practical skills in everyday life. Lori emphasizes the need for curiosity, effective communication, and self-reflection in educational settings, while also highlighting the importance of empathy and compassion. The conversation concludes with reflections on personal growth, recognition in the counseling field, and the joy of pursuing one's passions.

https://www.allittakes.org/

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to SEL Muscle Mastery 02:54 The Journey of Writing and Publishing a Book 06:07 Understanding SEL Muscles and Their Importance 09:07 Practical Skills for Everyday Life 11:52 The Q-Tip Principle: Quit Taking It Personally 15:06 Curiosity and Its Role in Education 17:48 Creating a Supportive Learning Environment 20:47 Understanding Different Communication Styles 27:48 The Cycle of Self-Criticism 29:58 Empathy and Compassion in Education 32:56 Finding Joy Amidst Challenges 36:04 Authenticity and Self-Reflection 40:57 Celebrating Achievements and Milestones 46:10 Pursuing Passion and Overcoming Doubts

Start your free Solution-Focused 3-day training here: https://www.thefocusedmindset.com/leadwithhopechallenge

TEDx: How to Lead with Hope: Solution Focused Conversation Navigation https://youtu.be/Am3ZoF53BS0?si=ZaflEtnhsdjgJ2oN

Instagram: Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset Podcast https://www.instagram.com/cherkretz_thefocusedmindset/

TikTok: @Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset

https://www.tiktok.com/@cherkretz?lang=en

In this conversation, Dr. Loretta Whitson discusses the vital role of advocacy in school counseling, emphasizing the importance of finding meaning and purpose in the profession. She highlights the significance of curiosity and personal connection in counseling, and offers advice for future educators and counselors. Dr. Whitson also reflects on the moral compass that guides leadership in education, underscoring the need for a supportive and collaborative environment for students.

Takeaways

• Advocacy is essential in school counseling.

• Finding meaning in work enhances professional fulfillment.

• Curiosity drives effective counseling practices.

• Personal connections with students lead to better outcomes.

• Choosing a career aligned with personal beliefs fosters motivation.

• Collaboration among educators, counselors, and administrators is crucial.

• A balanced support system is necessary for student success.

• Counseling should address personal and social domains for effectiveness.

• Leaders should have a strong moral compass to guide their actions.

• Opportunities for students should be prioritized in counseling.

  Start your free Solution-Focused 3-day training here: https://www.thefocusedmindset.com/leadwithhopechallenge

  You want to have meaningful conversations, but relationships are complicated, and opportunities are missed. This is why I created the three-day conversation navigation challenge, and you can now join for free with this link. ALSO, you will get a 50% discount code for my Conversation Navigation Bundle that will give you both audio and video training and two courses and my book 30 Days to Higher Hopes sent to you.

  TEDx: How to Lead with Hope: Solution Focused Conversation Navigation https://youtu.be/Am3ZoF53BS0?si=ZaflEtnhsdjgJ2oN

  Instagram: Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset Podcast https://www.instagram.com/cherkretz_thefocusedmindset/

  TikTok: @Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset

  https://www.tiktok.com/@cherkretz?lang=en

V= Values

I = Investigate and show Interest

B = Boldness

E = Enjoy each moment

S = Start and Start again

Get your free good vibes checklist and pin up HERE https://thefocusedmindset.kit.com/1fb7a7eb6d

In this episode of the Focused Mindset podcast, Cher discusses the importance of reframing our mindset to foster hope, growth, and effective communication. She emphasizes the role of mindset in shaping our experiences and interactions, drawing on personal anecdotes and research in neuroplasticity. Cher encourages listeners to embrace uncertainty and curiosity as they navigate life's challenges, ultimately redefining hope and personal growth.

Start your free Solution-Focused 3-day training here: https://www.thefocusedmindset.com/leadwithhopechallenge

You want to have meaningful conversations, but relationships are complicated, and opportunities are missed. This is why I created the three-day conversation navigation challenge, and you can now join for free with this link. ALSO, you will get a 50% discount code for my Conversation Navigation Bundle that will give you both audio and video training and two courses and my book 30 Days to Higher Hopes sent to you.

TEDx: How to Lead with Hope: Solution Focused Conversation Navigation https://youtu.be/Am3ZoF53BS0?si=ZaflEtnhsdjgJ2oN

Instagram: Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset Podcast https://www.instagram.com/cherkretz_thefocusedmindset/

TikTok: @Cher Kretz The Focused Mindset

https://www.tiktok.com/@cherkretz?lang=en

Tip Jar: Your generous support helps me create more free resources and keep this podcast going strong. Thank you. https://thefocusedmindset.ck.page/products/tips-4-cher