In this episode, we explore the four main parenting styles—authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved—and look at how each one impacts children, while offering biblical wisdom to help parents raise kids God’s way.

--

The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

Donate Now

--

Parenting is one of the most important roles in a person’s life, and it significantly shapes the development and well-being of children. Over the years, psychologists and researchers have identified four primary parenting styles, each characterized by different levels of warmth, control, and communication. Understanding these styles can help parents recognize the potential outcomes of their approaches and make more informed decisions about how they raise their children. See this article. 

The four main parenting styles are:

1. Authoritarian Parenting
2. Authoritative Parenting
3. Permissive Parenting
4. Uninvolved Parenting

Each of these styles affects children differently, influencing their emotional, social, and cognitive development.

1. Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parents are often seen as strict, controlling, and demanding. They set high expectations for their children, emphasizing obedience and discipline above all else. Communication tends to be one-sided, with little room for dialogue or flexibility. Rules are enforced with little explanation, and punishment is used as a means to maintain control.

• Key Characteristics:
• High demands and expectations
• Low responsiveness to the child’s emotional needs
• Emphasis on obedience and discipline
• Limited communication and explanation of rules
• Effects on Children: Children raised by authoritarian parents often develop a strong sense of discipline and respect for authority but may also struggle with self-esteem and decision-making. They may become either overly submissive or rebellious, depending on their temperament. Social skills can be underdeveloped, as they may not feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings openly.
• Biblical Response: Authoritarian parenting emphasizes strict rules and discipline, often with little room for discussion. While discipline is important, Scripture also encourages understanding and wisdom in its application.
• Ephesians 6:4 – "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
• Colossians 3:21 – "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged."

2. Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parenting is widely regarded as the most effective and balanced style. Parents who adopt this approach set clear expectations and rules for their children but are also nurturing, supportive, and responsive. They encourage open communication, explain the reasons behind rules, and allow for age-appropriate independence. Discipline is used to guide and teach, rather than to punish.

• Key Characteristics:
• High demands but balanced with high responsiveness
• Open communication and explanation of rules
• Encouragement of independence and decision-making
• Use of positive discipline strategies
• Effects on Children: Children of authoritative parents tend to have higher self-esteem, better social skills, and greater emotional regulation. They are more likely to perform well academically, develop good problem-solving skills, and establish healthy relationships with others. This style fosters both respect for authority and the confidence to assert their own thoughts and feelings.
• Biblical Response: Authoritative parenting is characterized by a balance of discipline, love, and communication. This approach aligns closely with the biblical model of nurturing and guiding children while setting clear expectations.
• Proverbs 22:6 – "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it."
• Hebrews 12:11 – "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
• Deuteronomy 6:6-7 – "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

3. Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents are lenient, often giving their children considerable freedom and few rules. While they are highly responsive and nurturing, they avoid setting limits or enforcing discipline. Permissive parents prioritize their children’s happiness and often allow them to make their own decisions, regardless of their maturity level.

• Key Characteristics:
• Low demands with high responsiveness
• Few rules and minimal discipline
• Emphasis on nurturing and indulgence
• Children have significant freedom in decision-making
• Effects on Children: Children raised by permissive parents may struggle with self-control and responsibility, as they are not accustomed to structure or boundaries. While they may develop strong self-esteem due to the high levels of parental warmth, they may also have difficulties with authority and discipline later in life. They may be more prone to behavioral problems and struggle with achieving long-term goals due to a lack of discipline.
• Biblical Response: Permissive parenting focuses on nurturing and love but often lacks boundaries or discipline. While the Bible teaches the importance of love, it also warns that children need guidance and discipline to grow into responsible adults.
• Proverbs 13:24 – "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them."
• Proverbs 29:15 – "The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother."

4. Uninvolved Parenting

Uninvolved parenting, also known as neglectful parenting, is characterized by a lack of both responsiveness and demands. Parents who adopt this style are often detached or indifferent, providing minimal emotional support or guidance. While uninvolved parents may meet basic physical needs, such as food and shelter, they are generally disengaged from their children’s lives.

• Key Characteristics:
• Low demands and low responsiveness
• Minimal interaction and communication
• Little emotional involvement or nurturing
• Lack of structure, rules, or discipline
• Effects on Children: Children raised by uninvolved parents tend to struggle with self-esteem, academic achievement, and emotional regulation. They often feel neglected and unworthy of attention, which can lead to feelings of insecurity and difficulty forming relationships. These children may also face behavioral issues and exhibit a lack of self-discipline, as they grow up without clear guidance or support.
• Biblical Response: Uninvolved parenting is characterized by neglect or indifference, where parents fail to provide both guidance and emotional support. Scripture speaks strongly against neglecting children and emphasizes the responsibility of parents to nurture and guide their children.
• 1 Timothy 5:8 – "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."
• Deuteronomy 6:1-3 (NLT) 1 “These are the commands, decrees, and regulations that the LORD your God commanded me to teach you. You must obey them in the land you are about to enter and occupy, 2 and you and your children and grandchildren must fear the LORD your God as long as you live. If you obey all his decrees and commands, you will enjoy a long life. 3 Listen closely, Israel, and be careful to obey. Then all will go well with you, and you will have many children in the land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your ancestors, promised you.
• Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (NLT) 4 “Listen, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. 5 And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Takeaway

Ultimately, the Bible calls parents to reflect God’s own character in their parenting. God is both our loving Father and wise Teacher. As parents, we are called to model this dual role—being both compassionate and authoritative, nurturing our children while guiding them toward righteousness. By seeking God’s wisdom and relying on His grace, we can raise our children in a way that honors Him and helps them grow into faithful followers of Christ.