How does a Buddhist make use of the aphorism "Let go and let God?"

Liên Shutt shares a deeply personal and reflective talk centered around the phrase "Let Go and Let God," inspired by a cross-stitch left by her adoptive mother. Drawing from both her Buddhist and Christian influences, Liên explores how this phrase bridges her upbringing with her Zen practice. She reflects on the pain and insight of not resonating with Christianity while appreciating how her mother's deep faith comforted her.

Liên uses this as a springboard to delve into the spiritual dynamics of “letting go”—not in a passive sense, but as a practice of releasing control and embracing a deeper trust in the unknown, often referred to in Zen as the absolute. This becomes a metaphor for spiritual maturity and balance between effort and surrender.

She further enriches the talk by introducing key Buddhist ideas:

• Relative vs. Absolute: The “G” (relative, rational thinking) and the “Re” (absolute, intuitive knowing).
• Sandokai teaching: A Zen poem describing the harmony between difference and equality.
• Hand-wringing metaphor: A symbol of inner turmoil that contrasts with the calming practice of presence and receptivity.
• Cosmic mudra: A meditation hand gesture that balances tension and ease.

Through touching stories—including coming out to her parents—Liên models how negotiation between personal truth and inherited beliefs can lead to healing and connection. The talk wraps with a heartfelt tribute to her mother, affirming the universal longing for connection through love, whether it’s God, Dharma, or simply being seen.

______________
Liên Shutt (she/they) is a priest lineage holder in the Shunryu Suzuki tradition. Born to a Buddhist family in Vietnam, she received her meditation training in the Insight and Soto Zen traditions in the U.S., Japan, Thailand, and Vietnam. She was a founding member of the Buddhists of Color in 1998 and currently is the guiding teacher of Access to Zen, an inclusive, anti-oppression sangha and non-profit in the SF Bay Area. She lives on Ohlone land, currently called San Francisco, with her partner, exploring waterways and forests as often as they can.

Visit https://accesstozen.org/ for ways to connect and practice together.

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

How can we use our body to reconnect with the present moment?

John Martin gently guides us into the practice of returning to the body as a doorway to presence. He shares how disconnection from the body often means disconnection from our hearts, leading to mind-wandering or emotional reactivity. He reminds us of the Buddha’s wisdom—that the body is a precious opportunity for awakening—and emphasizes the importance of repeatedly coming back with kindness, not judgment.

John shares a powerful insight into his personal journey with chronic physical pain. Rather than resisting, he learned to meet pain with care and curiosity, discovering layers of tension, fear, and anger— ultimately achieving peace through non-reactivity.

His technique of holding 10-20% of attention on the breath during activities like watching ballet shows how even partial presence can deepen joy.

______________

John Martin teaches Vipassana (Insight), Metta (Loving Kindness) and LGBTQIA+ meditation retreats. He leads an ongoing weekly Monday evening meditation group in San Francisco. He serves as Co-chair of the Guiding Teachers Council for Spirit Rock. His practice has been supported by twelve years as a hospice volunteer, including five years at Shanti Project during the AIDS crisis and seven years with the Zen Hospice project.
Find his upcoming events at: https://calendar.spiritrock.org/event-speaker/john-martin/

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Even when we see uncertainty and injustice all around us, can we navigate our life with grace and resilience?

Daigan Gaither emphasizes that our suffering and confusion are not barriers to practice but the very ground of it.

He reflects on how to stay grounded and compassionate during turbulent and overwhelming times, drawing from his personal experiences and Buddhist teachings. He reminds us that practice doesn't mean escaping chaos—it means being present with it. By noticing our feelings, turning toward discomfort, and showing up honestly, we can respond with more wisdom and care. Daigan encourages us to drop perfectionism and meet ourselves with kindness, because showing up—even imperfectly—is the practice.

He offers practical and heartfelt suggestions for practicing in challenging times:

1. Pause and breathe – Come back to your body and breath, especially when overwhelmed.
2. Name what’s happening – Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings without judgment.
3. Stay connected – Practice in community and reach out to others for support.
4. Lean into the precepts – Use Buddhist ethical guidelines as a compass, not a rulebook.
5. Embrace imperfection – The world is messy, and so are we; we can still show up with love.

Ultimately, Daigan's message is one of hope: he invites us to meet chaos not with avoidance or despair, but with curiosity, compassion, and presence. 

______________

Rev. Daigan Gaither (he/him) began Buddhist practice in 1995 in the Vipassana (Insight) tradition, then began studying Zen in 2003. He received Lay Ordination in 2006 where he was given the name Daigan or “Great Vow,” and received Priest Ordination in July 2011. Daigan speaks internationally on a variety of topics particularly around gender, sexuality, social justice, and their intersections with the Dharma. He also sits or has sat on a number of boards and committees that serve community needs and further social justice causes.

Daigan has a BA in Philosophy and Religion from San Francisco State University, and an MA in Buddhist Studies (with a chaplaincy certificate and a certificate in Soto Zen Buddhism) from the Graduate Theological Union and the Institute of Buddhist Studies. He lives in San Francisco, CA and identifies as a disabled, queer, white, cis male. Learn more at https://queerdharma.net

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Rather than constantly trying to escape discomfort, can we engage with suffering as a gateway to insight and connection?

In this talk, JD Doyle helps us turn directly toward the ever-present reality of suffering in our lives. Drawing from Joy Harjo’s poetry and personal anecdotes, JD invites us to reflect on how we orient ourselves in a world that often feels destabilizing. They compare the cycle of samsara to bumper cars at an amusement park, where we continually crash into each other through our reactive habits. JD explains that instead of merely surviving these crashes, we can choose to investigate them with compassion and wisdom.

JD skillfully unpacks the Buddhist concept of dukkha—commonly translated as suffering—by outlining its three types:

1. Dukkha-dukkha – Direct physical or emotional pain (e.g., illness, heartbreak, mental anguish).
2. Viparinama-dukkha – Suffering from impermanence (e.g., things changing against our will).
3. Sankhara-dukkha – The suffering embedded in conditioned existence, shaped by past actions and systems (like societal structures or inherited trauma).

They emphasize that wise reflection helps us meet these forms of suffering not with blame or avoidance, but with inquiry and compassion. JD also highlights the importance of community—how even crises, like a scary moment on a flight, can bring strangers together as a spontaneous sangha. Ultimately, they call us to meet suffering not with fear but with courage—a word rooted in the heart—and to help others find their way through the dark.

______________

JD Doyle serves as a core teacher at the East Bay Meditation Center (EBMC) and has served as a board member and was the cofounder of the LGBTQI meditation group. JD is a graduate of the Spirit Rock Meditation Center teacher-training program and was in the Dedicated Practitioner Program (DPP2) and the Community Dharma Leader Program (CDL4). JD has practiced Buddhism since 1995 in the U.S., Thailand, and Burma.

For over twenty-five years, they worked as a public school teacher focusing on issues of equity and access. JD holds a bachelor’s degree in Environmental Studies from Cornell University and a master’s degree in Language and Literacy and Sociocultural Studies from the University of New Mexico. JD identifies as gender non-conforming. They are committed to celebrating the diversity of our human sangha, addressing the impact of racism on our communities, expanding concepts of gender, and living in ways that honor the sacredness of the Earth.

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

How large of a force is shame in shaping the behaviors we see in society and ourselves? 

In this talk, René Rivera gently but powerfully guides us through the terrain of shame, drawing from personal experience, restorative justice work, and Buddhist teachings. He names shame as one of the five primary human emotions and explores how it subtly drives fear, anger, and avoidance.

René relates how shame shows up intensely in work with people who’ve experienced or caused sexual harm and how facing it consciously can lead to healing and growth. He also ties shame to cultural patterns of oppression, suggesting that unexamined shame fuels collective harm, such as the political targeting of marginalized communities.

To help us recognize and transform our own shame, René shares several tools and frameworks:

1. Shame vs. Guilt: Shame is “I am bad,” while guilt is “I did something bad”—guilt can motivate action, while shame tends to immobilize.
2. Compass of Shame (Nathanson):
   • Attack Self: Internal harshness or over-apologizing.
   • Attack Other: Blaming or lashing out.
   • Withdrawal: Avoiding situations that might evoke shame.
   • Avoidance: Distraction or pretending nothing happened.
3. Body Awareness: Shame often shows up in physical sensations like sinking or heat; returning to the body anchors awareness.
4. Reflective Questions (inspired by Byron Katie):
   • Is it true?
   • Can you absolutely know it’s true?
   • How do you react when you believe it?
   • Who would you be without it?
   • Is this mine?
5. “Shame Report” Practice: Sharing shame stories with trusted others to dissolve secrecy and regain perspective.

René encourages us to remember that our shame responses often began as survival strategies. Bringing compassion, curiosity, and community to our experiences allows us to shift from painful self-concepts toward healing and freedom.

______________

René Rivera is a meditation teacher, restorative justice facilitator, and leader, working and learning in all the spaces in-between race, gender, and other perceived binaries, as a queer, mixed-race, trans man.

René teaches heart-centered, trauma-informed meditation, at the East Bay Meditation Center and other meditation centers. He has co-led the first residential meditation retreats for transgender, nonbinary, and gender-expansive people. René is a restorative justice facilitator for the Ahimsa Collective, working to heal sexual and gender-based violence.

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

How can we bring mindful awareness to our patterns of subtle dissatisfaction that are also a form of Dukkha? 

Here, Vimalasara delves into the Buddhist concept of dukkha (suffering), exploring how our habitual reactions to both pleasant and unpleasant experiences can entangle us in cycles of suffering. She emphasizes that dukkha isn't just about overt pain but also includes our resistance to life's impermanence and unpredictability. Vimalasara suggests we can begin to untangle them, fostering a deeper sense of ease and presence in our lives.​

Vimalasara outlines practical approaches to work with dukkha:​

1. Mindful Observation: Recognize and observe our reactions to experiences without judgment, allowing us to see the underlying patterns of clinging and aversion.​
2. Embodied Awareness: Engage in practices that connect us to bodily sensations, grounding us in the present moment and helping to dissolve the grip of suffering.​
3. Compassionate Inquiry: Approach our experiences with kindness and curiosity, creating space for healing and transformation.​

Through these methods, she encourages a compassionate and embodied path to understanding and alleviating dukkha, leading to greater freedom and well-being.​

______________

Dr. Vimalasara (Valerie) Mason-John MA (hon. doc) is a senior teacher in the Triratna Buddhist Community. She is the award-winning author of 9 books, including her most recently published in 2020 "I'm Still Your Negro: An Homage to James Baldwin," and is currently editing an anthology "Afrikan Wisdom: Black Liberation, Buddhism, and Beyond" published in 2021. She is also the author of "Detox Your Heart - Meditations for Emotional Trauma," and the award-winning book, "Eight-Step Recovery Using the Buddha's Teachings to Overcome Addiction," with 8-Step meetings in several continents.

Named as one of the leading African-descent voices in the field of mindfulness approaches for addiction, she has co-founded the accredited program Mindfulness-Based Addiction Recovery MBAR. She works as a dharma teacher, public speaker, professional trainer, and mindfulness teacher. Learn more at https://www.valeriemason-john.com/ 

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

In his talk on dukkha (suffering), Sean Feit Oakes delves into the heart of Buddhist teachings, exploring how our habitual reactions to both pleasant and unpleasant experiences can entangle us in cycles of suffering. 

He emphasizes that dukkha isn't just about overt pain but also includes the subtle dissatisfaction that arises from our resistance to life's impermanence and unpredictability. By bringing mindful awareness to these patterns, Sean suggests we can begin to untangle them, fostering a deeper sense of ease and presence in our lives.​

Sean outlines practical approaches to work with dukkha:​

1. Mindful Observation: Recognize and observe our reactions to experiences without judgment, allowing us to see the underlying patterns of clinging and aversion.​
2. Embodied Awareness: Engage in practices that connect us to bodily sensations, grounding us in the present moment and helping to dissolve the grip of suffering.​
3. Compassionate Inquiry: Approach our experiences with kindness and curiosity, creating space for healing and transformation.​

Through these methods, Sean encourages a compassionate and embodied path to understanding and alleviating dukkha, leading to greater freedom and well-being.

______________

Sean Feit Oakes, PhD (he/him, queer, Puerto Rican & English ancestry, living on unceded Pomo land in NorCal), teaches Buddhism and somatic practice focusing on the integration of meditation, trauma resolution, and social justice. He received teaching authorization from Jack Kornfield, and wrote his dissertation on extraordinary states in Buddhist meditation and experimental dance. He teaches at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, East Bay Meditation Center, Insight Timer, and locally. Learn more at https://SeanFeitOakes.com

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

David Lewis offers gentle guidance on navigating life's inevitable challenges. He emphasizes that suffering, or dukkha, is a fundamental aspect of human existence, but our response to it can transform our experience. David encourages embracing difficulties as opportunities for growth, suggesting that by meeting adversity with mindfulness and compassion, we can cultivate resilience and inner peace.​

David outlines practical steps to shift our perspective during tough times:​

1. Acknowledge the Reality: Recognize and accept the presence of suffering without denial.
2. Cultivate Mindfulness: Stay present and observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment.
3. Practice Compassion: Extend kindness to yourself and others, understanding that everyone faces hardships.
4. Seek Growth Opportunities: View challenges as chances to develop wisdom and strength.​

By applying these principles, David suggests we can navigate life's difficulties with grace and emerge stronger and more compassionate.

______________

David Lewis has been following the dharma path for 50 years.  He has a degree in comparative religious studies and is a graduate of Spirit Rock Meditation Center’s Advanced Practitioners Program.  David shares the dharma at several sanghas, including Mission Dharma, Insight Upper Market, and the Gay Buddhist Fellowship in San Francisco. 

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

How can we approach our spiritual journey with wholehearted attention day after day?

Steven Tierney emphasizes that every aspect of our lives—no matter how mundane—holds the potential for awakening when met with sincerity and care. Drawing from his experiences within the LGBTQIA+ community and his work in recovery, Steven illustrates how integrating mindfulness into daily activities can transform them into profound opportunities for growth and connection.​

Steven offers practical guidance to embody this approach:​

1. Intentional Living: Engage with each moment deliberately, recognizing its inherent value.​
2. Compassionate Presence: Extend kindness to oneself and others, understanding that everyone is on their unique path.​
3. Community Engagement: Participate actively in sangha (community), fostering mutual support and shared learning.​

By embracing these principles, Steven encourages us to see our lives not as a series of isolated events but as an interconnected tapestry where every thread contributes to our collective awakening.

______________ 

Steven Tierney (Kai Po Koshin) is a Dharma transmitted teacher in the lineage of Suzuki Roshi.  Steven has a new Sangha: Oceans Compassion Sangha and also practices with Gay Buddhist Fellowship, Meditation in Recovery at SFZC, Great Spirit Sangha, SFLGBTQA Sangha, and the Hartford Street Zen Center.  

Steven believes that we can find wisdom, compassion and awakening wherever good people come together for practice, healing, service and joy.  Dr. Tierney is a psychotherapist in private practice and Professor Emeritus in Counseling Psychology at CIIS.

He is a Certified Addiction Specialist and has been named a Diplomate in Clinical Mental Health by the American Mental Health Counselors Association.  He is also a certified suicide prevention and intervention trainer, providing workshops, classes, and consultations.  Steven can be reached at 415-235-1061 or [email protected]

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Can we use Buddhist practice to help us navigate emotional experiences?

Prasadachitta shares that emotions are not obstacles to be suppressed but gateways to deeper understanding and freedom. By bringing mindful awareness to our feelings, we can uncover the underlying patterns that shape our reactions and begin to respond with greater clarity and compassion.​

He offers practical approaches to engage with our emotions skillfully:​

1. Mindful Presence: Pay close attention to emotional experiences as they arise, observing them without judgment.​
2. Investigative Curiosity: Explore the roots of our emotions, considering how past experiences and conditioning influence our current responses.​
3. Compassionate Acceptance: Embrace our emotional states with kindness, recognizing them as natural aspects of the human experience.​

Through these practices, Prasadachitta encourages us to cultivate emotional liberation, leading to greater resilience, insight, and peace.​

______________

Prasadachitta was ordained into the Triratna Buddhist Order in 2011 and he became the Chair of the San Francisco Buddhist Center in April 2022. He was born on a “back to the land” commune in rural Northern California and that background has inspired his engagement with others in building the SFBC’s rural meditation center called Dharmadhara. He also helped to establish a community of sangha members who support the retreats there. He supports himself as a documentary filmmaker and photographer but his real life’s work is training others who want to practice Buddhism within the Triratna Buddhist Community.

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter