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Sometimes friendships can carry an invisible scoreboard. Silent competition isn’t always obvious, but it shapes how we see ourselves and each other more than we realise.

• Silent competition shows up as subtle one-upping, downplaying wins, or feeling “behind” around friends
• Social comparison theory explains why we measure ourselves most against the people closest to us
• Scarcity mindset and insecurity can turn friendship into a race instead of a team
• Social media intensifies the invisible scoreboard, making highlights feel like hierarchies
• Competition kills emotional safety, leaving friendships feeling like performance instead of authenticity
• Signs of competition: withholding praise, copying, anxiety when they succeed, or relief when they fail
• Healing begins with self-awareness; start asking yourself if you’re competing with them, or with a version of yourself you wish you were
• Real friendship inspires, not diminishes. Remember, there’s space for both of you to grow without it being a race

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Hate is built. It’s shaped by fear, hurt, and the stories we’ve been told about what's right and what's not. And like anything constructed, it can be dismantled.

• Hate isn’t a basic emotion rather, it’s a layered reaction built from fear, anger, and powerlessness
• Tribalism and the “us vs. them” mindset make hatred feel justified, even sometimes natural
• Dehumanisation strips away empathy, paving the way for cruelty
• Chronic hate keeps the nervous system in fight-or-flight, draining peace and health
• Most personal hatred is rooted in betrayal, humiliation, or feeling powerless
• Hate can feel like control, but it keeps us tied to what hurt us
• Letting go doesn’t mean approval, instead it means choosing freedom over emotional captivity
• You can’t hate and be at peace at the same time

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Welcome back to The Girls Classroom. Let me know your feedback on the latest episodes in the Q&A or via our email.

Lately, I’ve been completely obsessed with hobbies, not as achievements, but as a lifestyle.

• We’re burnt out on being productive, hobbies give us permission to just be
• Flow state, creativity, and movement all rewire the brain for calm, confidence, and connection

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Impermanence is often what we fear most, but it might actually be the thing that sets us free. The bad news is nothing lasts forever. The good news is nothing lasts forever.

• Human brains crave certainty, but we’re built for change
• Impermanence makes life meaningful; if everything lasted, nothing would feel special
• Emotions, seasons, and identities all shift, thank god otherwise imagine how boring life would be
• Trying to capture or control moments pulls us away from actually living them
• You’re allowed to outgrow people, routines, beliefs and even versions of yourself
• Change doesn’t erase something’s value, it creates it
• Nothing is forever, and that’s what gives us the courage to begin again

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Not everyone will clap for you — and that doesn’t mean you’re failing. Some will stay silent. Some will judge. And some will pretend not to see you, just to avoid facing their own fear. But your worth isn’t measured by the volume of their applause.

• We’re wired to seek validation, but approval can quietly become addictive
• The external validation loop keeps you performing, even when no one’s watching
• Social media amplifies performance culture, making silence feel like failure
• People may withhold support out of jealousy, fear, or discomfort
• If you carry rejection wounds, you may over-apologise, people-please, or dim your light to feel safe
• You don’t need the applause — quiet wins and private pride are just as powerful
• Shifting to internal validation means finding alignment, not chasing applause

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Welcome back to The Girls Classroom. Let me know your feedback on the latest episodes in the Q&A or via our email.

Outgrowing old versions of yourself is proof you’re evolving, but letting go of who you used to be can feel heavy, lonely, and confusing.

• Growth means shedding mindsets, habits, and identities that no longer fit
• Outgrowing yourself can feel like a mini identity crisis
• People may resist your growth because it challenges who they think you are
• You might grieve friendships, dreams, or labels that were once your normal
• Signs you’re outgrowing: restlessness, resistance to old routines, feeling misunderstood
• Flexible identity is self-alignment, not betrayal — you’re becoming more you
• You’re allowed to release what you’ve outgrown, even if others don’t understand

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Being perceived can feel like standing under a spotlight. We often perform for others without even realising it, letting their imagined opinions shape who we become.

• Being perceived taps into our ancient fear of rejection and judgment
• We construct our self-image through the “looking glass” of how we think others see us

• "I am not who I think I am. I am not who you think I am. I am who I think, you think, I am.

• The “spotlight effect” makes us believe everyone notices us more than they actually do
• Social media amplifies the pressure to perform, making it harder to feel authentic
• We wear social armour — people-pleasing, overachieving, hiding parts of ourselves — to manage being seen
• Letting go starts with awareness, self-compassion, and remembering: being misunderstood doesn’t make you less whole

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Welcome back to The Girls Classroom. This week we talk about the quiet destroyer - self sabotage. What undermines our growth, joy, and potential from the inside out, often without us even realising it.

• Self-sabotage can be conscious (procrastination, avoidance) or subconscious (self-doubt, perfectionism, fear of success)
• It often stems from limiting beliefs formed in childhood: “I’m not good enough,” “If I fail, I’ll be rejected,” or “I don’t deserve this”
• We self-sabotage by delaying goals, rejecting healthy love, downplaying our achievements, or staying in comfort zones that feel safe but stifle us
• It’s not laziness—it’s protection. The brain tries to keep us safe by avoiding risk, rejection, or emotional exposure
• The difference: sabotage says “it’s safer to stay small” while self-worth says “even if I fall, I’ll grow from it”
• Rewriting the pattern starts with awareness—naming the fear underneath, being kinder to yourself, and taking action in small, brave doses
• The limits we feel often aren’t walls—they’re stories. And we get to rewrite them

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Welcome back to the girls classroom. After a long break, we are back with new equipment and new episode structures! Let me know your feedback with the newest episodes in the Q&A or via our email.

Pride often acts as an invisible prison, keeping us from growth, connection and authenticity while we protect our carefully crafted image.

• Pride can be healthy (self-respect, dignity) or unhealthy (ego, defensiveness, image obsession)
• Unhealthy pride creates a cage that limits our potential and happiness
• Pride manifests as refusing help, hiding mistakes, dismissing feedback, and avoiding vulnerability
• The "kid on the bench" syndrome: turning down opportunities to protect our image, but only hurting ourselves
• Pride affects our brain chemistry - activating both reward systems and fear responses
• The difference: pride says "I have to be admired to be valuable" while self-worth says "I am valuable even when I'm messy"
• Breaking free starts with small acts of vulnerability: admitting mistakes, asking for help, apologizing first
• The cage isn't locked - we have the key the whole time

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This week we talk about how to be more charismatic. Charisma is a quality that I value quite highly and I thought it would be a useful episode. Charisma means compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others, when you're charismatic people feel instantly comfortable around you as you have a very compelling aura. If you want to stay updated and get involved with polls and questions follow Instagram! Remember to give us a rate and review to tell me what you think! Please message us on either Instagram or email us on our email. Our Instagram is: thegirlsclassroom and our email is: [email protected]. Follow us on Instagram to see all podcast updates, (i.e. special episode release dates, episode release dates, questions of the week, quotes of the week, etc.)  

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT + MESSAGES. IT MEANS THE WORLD 🌍💚

REMEMBER TO LEAVE A RATE AND REVIEW BECAUSE I LOVE HEARING WHAT YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT THE PODCAST AND WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO HEAR AND THINK I COULD DO BETTER! 🩷💗🩷

disclaimer:

I am not a professional or licensed psychologist. I want to possibly help out girls with advice that I might have learnt from experience, you do not have to do anything I  tell you to, these are just my friendly suggestions.

I am so excited to be able to put another episode up on my page! I am so lucky to be able to do something I love so much and help girls at school! Without you listeners, there is no podcast, I am so grateful for each second you spend listening in! Engage so I can help you out! Enjoy 💝

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