The Glengarry Glen Ross Minute

Discussions of ear buds and versatile ear canals start us off this week. Matt loves achievable expectations, and hates being called "mama." The idiots talk about 30 year old Phillies infielders. Shelly, like the rest of us, is dubious of Williamson's assertion that he will "marshall his sales force." The fellas wonder what the job posting of the office manager would look like today. Bill spends entirely too much time on YouTube for a sober guy. The boys talk about how Pacino now makes all his roles VERY Pacino. The boys are back to discussing the color palatte and lighting. Matt asks the age old question, "Where have all the Lemmon's gone?" Bill reveals more of his personal feelings on... stuff and Matt tells him to get out. Lee Greenwood gets some heat from the fellas. The guys discuss what other movie a minute podcast they would be interested in. Bill went hob-nobbing again. This time with George Takei. Bill asserts that one of the most widely regarded shows in theater history is "rarely performed," and he will someday give a handjob in the parking lot for Pacific Overtures tickets.

This week Matt has nothing to bring, and Bill brought a jingle which amounts to nothing. The role of the saboteur will once again be played by Bill. Phil Jackson is the one that really wanted the Cadillac. But what happens when Wallace Shaun wants to drive it? Shelly gets all "Bruce Lee" on Williamson. Matt wants to cast Jack Pallance this week and he also takes a huge stand against motivational wall-hangings. Bill likes them, but lacks the motivation to hang any. The boys have to wrestle a quote corner into submission. And then... we hear the quote corner jingle... and then the podcast almost dies... again.

Bill figuratively punches his friends in the schnoz and seems to have oodles of domestic fun quoting the film around the house. The fellas are back to descriptions of the set. If you work in a place that is occupied mostly by men, it'll get smelly in 7.4 seconds. If there were a Glenngarry themed ice-cream shop, one thing is certain, these two morons wouldn't have a clue what to call any of the flavors. Listen in horror as Bill does the speaking equivalent of a fumble on the 5 yard line. Matt takes umbrage with Bill's Apple Watch activity. The fellas each have different interpretations of a phrase in the film, and it takes them way too long to get to no resolution. Our heroes commiserate about having to do movie a minute for the Star Wars prequels. (Shouts to the Star Wars minute guys). The boys say "strategic imperative" so much, that it ceases to sound like a phrase. Bill gets very excited about his impending Master Class with Davey-Pants. Then the fellas mosey down a path of circular bullshit concerning plot vs. character. I implore you to skip ahead about 6 minutes upon hearing the utterance of the words "plot and character." Seriously... just skip it. You'll thank me. Matt posits, probably because of all that nonsense, that the cash spent on a good bottle of scotch is about equal with the money spent on the David Mamet master class, in terms of production. One thing is for certain, Matt and Bill are two wild and crazy guys!

Welcome to our new podcast, "two idiots who can't remember how to count in other languages." Bill loves to make up French words cause hey, we're all just here killing time, this life. Jack Lemmon is conducting a goddamn acting master class over this minute. He is one of the greatest film actors of our time and the boys give him a nice shine. Matt thinks Bill has completely stopped listening to him, and there truly isn't any evidence to the contrary. Williamson itinerizes his evening for the Machine, which seems a little fishy to Matt. The fellas imagine Roma has his own set of Baker's Street irregulars. Bill continues to track down the robbery-night timeline like some private dick. Williamson is rocking out to some Dennis DeYoung on the ole cassette deck. Matt bemoans the lack of Ricky Roma in the first act of the movie. The boys want a serial drama spin-off of Roma the salesman. Bill shares his mounting excitement for his impending "Master Class" with Davey Mams. There is some LONG-form discussion about Bill's second take on the Housekeeping jingle. Bill seems to be releasing his own ideas from the less-than-secure moorings of his decaying mind. Matt is elated to finally cast a Klugman.

Bill's worst episode yet kicks off with him swearing up and down that he found David Mamet on Twitter. Matt is appropriately skeptical. More praise from the fellas for Shelly the Machine and his sweet sales style. Back to Moss and Aaranow in the car for a bit where we learn a soggy George is among the saddest things ever to be witnessed. Roma and Shelly are playing two different sales games. The fellas rehash the difference between the Hollywood way and the Theater way. How many chocolate doughnuts does one guy need for a robbery? Matt brings the show to a screeching halt with an impromptu, vegan, high-horsey corner. Roma stops by to join in on the podcast with Bill, and Bill reacts... poorly? Apparently the boys are working on getting a guest. Matt is, again, appropriately skeptical. The fellas discuss whether or not life feels like it runs in streaks of luck. Matt has to once more explain his theory that Ricky has legit respect for Shel, and once more, Bill talks a buncha fucking nonsense, that never resolves into an actual theory. Shout out to Lionel Richie. Stay strong, Commodore. Matt exposes Bill as the smarmy, unctuous pact-breaker that he is. Listen as Bill haplessly dodges serious accusations about his abhorrent, friendship-wedge-driving behaviors, his lack of character, and his lack of any discernible sense of loyalty. Stay tuned for Bill's punishment.

glengarryminute.podbean.com/mf/web/kufba6/Bill_Rebecca_BFFs.jpg" alt="Bill & Rebecca" width="800" height="511" />Bill and Matt are making substantial upgrades to the audio rig this week. Matt is looking for a way to mute Bill, who has offered up a first draft of a housekeeping jingle. Zumbo judges it harshly but Hemingway and Paul Shaffer hate it too. Matt loves the word cunt. The boys crack open significant problems in the medical industry. Bill and Matt finally recognize that they are nothing more than developmentally arrested children, incessantly quoting their favorite movie. Is Moss the most morally corrupt of the group? Bill had some big, Mamet-family doin's this week and he tells us he thinks Dave is back! Matt asserts that he was merely blinded by a Pidgeon. The boys discuss Dave's propensity for writing great interrogation scenes. If the jacket is puffy, it better be fucking warm. Mo Cheeks leaves Matt hangin'. It seems as though the boys can't get through one episode without talking about a butt. Matt would have taken Moss up on his offer to rip the joint off, immediately, despite Moss' sociopathic tendencies. Matt sees Bill's new intervention attempt as an attack. In lieu of an extended housekeeping Matt just chooses to re-hash every on-going argument he and Bill have ever had. Bill had no fun in this episode... none.

The fellas get Bill's tombstone epitaph all worked out to lead things off. Matt asks an age-old Roma question. Tarantino comes up again and makes the boys wonder if Mamet's shoulders are sore from having Quentin standing them. The boys continue to break down the "crackling" dialogue. Bill decides that skydiving might be a good way to go out. Mamet doesn't have to explain himself or what a list of nurses is, to you or anyone else. The boys get into the nitty-gritty reality that language is action. Quote corner (no jingle????) comes your way this week. The fellas look to cast someone to play Moss and Bill once more, displays his lack of memory or interest in the segment. Through the radio, you can almost smell Stacey Keach's mustache. Ricky Roma takes a cruise and he's not too happy about his accommodations. Dave Moss can't afford NFL Sunday Ticket. Bill makes another unfounded claim in the face of Matt's overwhelming evidence. Bill ends the episode like it's a fucking phone call.

Bill's possessive nature is infuriating to Matt who describes himself as the less-disappointing one. Pacino's presence on set seemed to make Lemon a little more southern lilty. Harris and Arkin delight the boys with their excellence in the execution of the Mamet dialogue. Matt wants Moss to retire, for Moss's sake. The fellas break down Moss's evil intentions and Aaranow's deeply rooted ineptitude. Matt's brownies are, for the record, not fucking dry. George would love to make sailboats in bottles. Matt needs to watch his phrasing, especially where baseball analogies are concerned. Baldwin and the Match Game get a little love as does Hollywood Squares? You can rough-in a cock-height, if need be. Matt proposes a game show called Fuck or Wok. Bill puts on his detective fedora and tries to track down a time-line on the robbery. The fellas tiptoe around race relations during the OJ verdict. Bill gets uptight about the show running long and Matt wonders why neither of them is happy.

Warren Beatty got old, huh? Some Oscar faux pas discussion gets the fellas going this week. Matt wants more Roma and less "my pet" from Bill, who almost immediately, ruins the podcast. Shelly gets the salesman operating system up and running in this minute. Nobody wants Moss in their kitchen. Salesmen are sadly, obsolete in 2017. Bill had a far superior Cutco home-demo than Matt had. Bill bought some Gordon Gartrell suits and has no clue who that means. "The People vs. OJ Simpson" gets some love. The fellas laboriously break down Shelly's cold-call. Traditional gender roles are uncomfortably on display through the film. Matt has turned a corner away from the 20-year long Mamet defense while Bill remains, unsurprisingly non-committal. The first Quote Corner is fun this week, despite still not having a jingle. Mamet is George Lucas and Elton John and Paul Simon and Shel Levine and Bill in that aging has really depleted his mojo. The boys are re-naming the podcast "You're coughing and I'm drinking." Bill is in dire straits when simply purchasing a beverage, yet doesn't want Matt's help. Is Dave Moss Dave Mamet? The 2nd Quote Corner yet again proves Mamet's pomposity. Cause, that's what HE does.

Rocky starts are getting more and more common on the GGGR minute. Shorts at the theater makes you a deplorable. Making faces is good for podcasting. Dave Moss not only hits for average, but his slugging percentage is also very impressive. Aaranow is at his worst just after the sales conference. Matt wants to gouge his eyes out at the thought of a well oiled "Machine." Bill compares his moobs with a septuagenarian. If there were a gym-class style foot race to the Glenngarry leads, who would win? The boys break down the script of the salesmen's cold-call technique. The fellas wade thru some Talmud-y waters, as they discuss Mamet's assertion of his work being a Talmudic discussion. Matt can't let the episode end... again. This time he employs Mr. Bon Jovi to aid him. Roma has got to be a huge Springsteen fan. Matt tries to cast The Boss. Bill is confused about how social media works and suggests you digitally knock.