The Great Man Within

#292.

Follow Dominick on Instagram: @DominickQ

Join the Great Man Mastermind: https://www.dominickq.com/masterminds/the-digital-mastermind

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

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In episode #222, we interviewed Jayson Gaddis, author of Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High Stakes Relationships.

He said the #1 bullshit fantasy that men believe which sabotages our relationships…is that relationships should be easy.

I certainly used to believe that myth.

And I can understand why we'd want it to be that way.

You bust your ass at work, some of you bust your asses to be a good Dad…you're exhausted…shouldn't you be able to just relax when it comes to your relationship?

Sorry, bro, it just doesn't work that way.

Anything worth having, requires work to have it.

And that includes earning the trust of your woman.

Fortunately today, Bryan and I have honed in on and simplified 5 ways to build trust and credibility with your woman.

It's important to note that these 5 ways have been sourced directly from the women in my Instagram community based on a half dozen polls I've run over the last 3 months.

Said another way, these aren't Dominick's beliefs…these are the beliefs of a diverse group of women who are consistently calling for the same few things from their man.

The 5 Ways to Build Trust and Credibility:

1. Have a vision for your relationship
2. Take her deeper – emotionally, sexually, spiritually – than she can go on her own
3. Know how to restore integrity when you fall out of it
4. If you need space during conflict…take it…and make sure you come back
5. Be willing to trust her intuition, even if it conflicts with your logic

#291.

Follow Dominick on Instagram: @DominickQ

Join the Great Man Mastermind: https://www.dominickq.com/masterminds/the-digital-mastermind

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

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Fellas, it's time to take a back seat… …because ladies, this episode is for you.

As my Instagram community continues to grow, I keep hearing louder and louder calls from my female followers for men to be more vulnerable.

Simultaneously, the men in my communities say that they aren't so sure the women in their lives really want our vulnerability.

Many men are gun shy – having been burned from opening up emotionally in the past…only to have it work against them in a variety of ways, which will discuss in this episode.

So to bridge this vulnerability gap, I decided to run a little survey in my Instagram community where I asked a very simple question of the men:

What would you need to be more vulnerable with your romantic partner?

I got about 100 illuminating responses from these men…of which I've culled down 5 core themes which Bryan and I will be discussing in today's episode.

In this Episode:

• The ways men have been burned in the past by being vulnerable
• What Brené Brown and Bell Hooks have to say about why men are hesitant to be vulnerable
• The 5 things men need to be more vulnerable with you
• What the man's responsibility is in each of these 5 categories

If you're in a relationship, this would be an excellent episode to listen to together and discuss afterwards (or if you're exploring a new relationship dynamic with a partner, it could make for a great virtual date and discussion)…

…or if you're rolling solo like me and just want to learn how to have better, deeper more vulnerable conversations, this episode is for you.

#290

Join the Great Man Mastermind: https://www.dominickq.com/masterminds/the-digital-mastermind

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

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Dr. Myles Spar

Work With Dr Myles: https://drspar.com Book: Optimal Men's Health TedX Talk: Change your annual check up to a "check in" and live longer

I always say that men make change based on 1 of 2 motivating factors.

#1 – There's the man who wants an edge, a way to raise his performance and is willing to come off autopilot and proactively engage in the optimization of his life.

#2 – Then there's the man who changes when the Mack Truck hits him. When something is undeniably broken and he's forced to confront what's no longer working. In the context of physical health, we're talking about panic attacks, erectile dysfunction, chronic anxiety, stifling brain fog…

Listen, if you're here to live in alignment with your Great Man – who you are at your fullest potential – you have to be fully engaged in optimizing your foundation, your physical, mental and emotional well-being.

But with the explosion of information at your fingertips – data from wearable devices, fasting protocols, supplements, specialized diets etc – it can get really confusing really quickly…and maybe you've tried a bunch of this stuff to no avail, leaving you frustrated and disenfranchised.

The two main issues with trying to cobble together all the info you're:

1. It's not personalized to you – generalized info is like shooting in the dark
2. You don't have an expert helping you make sense of your data

That's why today we want to simplify the 3 essential types of tests to take to get a state of the union on your physical, mental and emotional well being…

…AND the expert guidance you'll want to seek to help make sense of that data and direct your next action steps to elevate your well being.

To guide us through that conversation, is one of our favorite guests on this show, a 3rd time appearance, Dr. Myles Spar Who is Dr. Myles Spar

• He's the National Medical Director of Vault Health, which secured the very first FDA approval for at home COVID tests at the beginning of the pandemic
• He is an integrative medicine doctor focused on optimizing men's health
• Author of Optimal Men's Health and TEDx Talk "Change Your Annual Check Up to a Check in and Live Longer"
• A member of Great Man Mastermind 1.0

In This Episode:

• The 3 tests men need to take to get a comprehensive state of the union on our overall health
• Wearable Devices: Dr Myles breaks down the Oura Ring, the Whoop Band, the Fitbit and the Apple Watch
• My own personal experience of 15 years of gut issues and how I resolved it following the protocol Myles shares today
• Why men are moving beyond just focusing on the cosmetic physical appearance of their body and placing a greater emphasis on optimizing energy levels, focus, memory, mental optimization
• How optimal health can be used as the most important tool in your toolbox to live as your Great Man

#289

Join the Great Man Mastermind: https://www.dominickq.com/masterminds/the-digital-mastermind

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

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Daryl's Famous TEDX Talk: Why I as a black man attend KKK rallies

Daryl Davis, a black man, attends KKK rallies, befriends its members, and through these unlikely friendships, he has influenced over 200 of those men to leave the Klan.

In a time when we can't discuss Coke vs. Pepsi without coming to fisticuffs, Daryl has somehow managed to get men who want him obliterated from the face of the earth…to eventually give up their hatred, ideology and community because of Daryl's influence.

He's collected the robes and hoods of men like Roger Kelly – the former Imperial Wizard (the president) of Maryland – and intends to open a museum with Klan memorabilia.

The central question that has driven his life: "How can you hate me when you don't even know me?"

Daryl is a TEDx superstar, with 4 talks totaling over 4 million views, and lecturer to universities and businesses all over the globe.

He's also a musician (his #1 love) who's played with Chuck Berry, an actor in one of the best TV shows of all time (The Wire) and an author of Klandestine Relationships.

He also has a documentary about his work with the KKK called Accidental Courtesy.

We could think of no better person who embodies what it means to be A Man Amongst Men, and as such, Daryl is our very first interview on the Man Amongst Men podcast.

In Part #3:

• Why most interest groups – like Black Lives Matter – don't make much progress
• Daryl's Contentious Exchange with Black Lives Matter Leaders Almost Led to Blows (from the documentary)
• How Daryl Davis Thinks Donald Trump is the Best Thing That Happened to this Country
• Daryl's candid thoughts on Black Lives Matter
• Daryl's final words of wisdom on how to create change in those who disagree with or even hate you

#288

Join the Great Man Mastermind: https://www.dominickq.com/masterminds/the-digital-mastermind

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

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Daryl's Famous TEDX Talk: Why I as a black man attend KKK rallies

Daryl Davis, a black man, attends KKK rallies, befriends its members, and through these unlikely friendships, he has influenced over 200 of those men to leave the Klan.

In a time when we can't discuss Coke vs. Pepsi without coming to fisticuffs, Daryl has somehow managed to get men who want him obliterated from the face of the earth…to eventually give up their hatred, ideology and community because of Daryl's influence.

He's collected the robes and hoods of men like Roger Kelly – the former Imperial Wizard (the president) of Maryland – and intends to open a museum with Klan memorabilia.

The central question that has driven his life: "How can you hate me when you don't even know me?"

Daryl is a TEDx superstar, with 4 talks totaling over 4 million views, and lecturer to universities and businesses all over the globe.

He's also a musician (his #1 love) who's played with Chuck Berry, an actor in one of the best TV shows of all time (The Wire) and an author of Klandestine Relationships.

He also has a documentary about his work with the KKK called Accidental Courtesy.

We could think of no better person who embodies what it means to be A Man Amongst Men, and as such, Daryl is our very first interview on the Man Amongst Men podcast.

In Part #2:

• Daryl lends his music tour bus to the Klan
• How Daryl manages not to take hate personally
• Fear is the most powerful tool known to man (and how to wield it for good change)
• How the KKK is rebranding to avoid stigma and build membership
• What the media knows about white supremacist positioning, but won't tell you
• How Rock N Roll and white people put Barack Obama into office
• The healing and unifying power of music

#287

Join the Great Man Mastermind: https://www.dominickq.com/masterminds/the-digital-mastermind

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

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Daryl's Famous TEDX Talk: Why I as a black man attend KKK rallies

Daryl Davis, a black man, attends KKK rallies, befriends its members, and through these unlikely friendships, he has influenced over 200 of those men to leave the Klan.

In a time when we can't discuss Coke vs. Pepsi without coming to fisticuffs, Daryl has somehow managed to get men who want him obliterated from the face of the earth…to eventually give up their hatred, ideology and community because of Daryl's influence.

He's collected the robes and hoods of men like Roger Kelly – the former Imperial Wizard (the president) of Maryland – and intends to open a museum with Klan memorabilia.

The central question that has driven his life: "How can you hate me when you don't even know me?"

Daryl is a TEDx superstar, with 4 talks totaling over 4 million views, and lecturer to universities and businesses all over the globe.

He's also a musician (his #1 love) who's played with Chuck Berry, an actor in one of the best TV shows of all time (The Wire) and an author of Klandestine Relationships.

He also has a documentary about his work with the KKK called Accidental Courtesy.

We could think of no better person who embodies what it means to be A Man Amongst Men, and as such, Daryl is our very first interview on the Man Amongst Men podcast.

In Part #1:

• Daryl's first encounter with racism as a 10 year old Cub Scout
• Daryl's first (friendly) encounter with a Klansmen
• Daryl knows more KKK history than most of the KKK
• Daryl gives the overview, hierarchy and national structure of the KKK
• Daryl arranges a covert meeting with Maryland's Imperial Wizard – Roger Kelly

Join the Great Man Mastermind: https://www.dominickq.com/masterminds/the-digital-mastermind

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

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I'm really proud of the feedback we've gotten on the 13 week Building Your Best Self Series we did to close out the final quarter of 2021.

Many of you have emailed, DMed and written about it in the Facebook Group about how that series has caused you to take tangible action in areas of your life where you've been drifting.

However, there's one really important episode we left out, a conversation on:

The Necessary Endings You Need to Make En Route to Your Next Level

You have a next level in life that's calling you – that next role at work, that next level of physical well being, that next level of finding your purpose.

To move from your current level, there are things that need to end – relationships, habits, fears, behaviors, limiting self-concepts…and where we spend most of our time in conversation today: Ending the "good" things in your life that will make way for the "great" to be possible.

In This Episode:

• How to "know" when its time to bring a necessary ending to a part of your life
• The 3 types of areas of your life that are ripe to "prune"
• My personal story of ending 3 really "good" long term relationships to make space for the next level
• How to end things with integrity
• Why you should create endings even if you don't know what replaces it yet

#285

Join the Great Man Mastermind: https://www.dominickq.com/masterminds/the-digital-mastermind

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

Here's a quote from Terrence Real, therapist and author of the best seller: I Dont Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression

"The way we turn boys into men is through injury.

We pull them away from their own expressiveness, from their feelings, from their sensitivity to others.

The very phrase "To be a man" means suck it up and keep going.

Disconnection is not the fallout from traditional masculinity, disconnection IS traditional masculinity."

What Terrence Real is saying is most men have been indoctrinated to manhood through sustaining injury – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. We are taught to deal with that injury by disconnecting from our emotions.

So not only are we walking around with untreated mental, emotional and spiritual wounds…

…we don't even have the awareness that we're wounded because we're so disconnected from our emotions and ourselves.

Here are some signs that wounds exist:

• You self sabotage when things in your life are going well
• You have difficulty maintaining intimacy in romantic relationships
• You are surrounded by people yet feel misunderstood and alone
• You don't have deep emotional relationships with other men
• You have a hard time trusting men
• You have a hard time trusting women
• You carry guilt or shame in your sexuality

In This Episode:

The 7 Masculine Wounds:

1. Growing up without a father/father figure
2. Growing up with an emotionally unavailable father
3. Enmeshment with a mother
4. Never learning how to trust men with his emotions
5. Having been bullied for size/status/sexual orientation
6. Hazing rituals as normalized rights of passage to acceptance
7. Believing pain and suffering are the most noble paths to success

The impact these wounds have on our resiliency, on our ability to connect, on our ability to be trustworthy leaders

How men's work facilitates the ability to turn towards, face and heal these wounds

#284

Check out the #100Great Pushup Challenge: https://www.onehundredgreat.com

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

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20% Off the 4 Week Evryman Fundamentals Course: https://evryman.com/fundamentals/ ***Use Code: GREATMAN***

Check out Evryman: https://evryman.com Owen Marcus Website: https://owenmarcus.com

Over the last 3 years on this podcast, you've heard me tip my cap to a handful of reputable men's work organizations who are out here making a difference in men's lives.

Of course, the ManKind Project is near and dear to my heart, as they were my initiation to men's work.

Another group I have tremendous respect for is Evryman.

Evryman was founded in 2016, and whose mission is to connect and help men to lead more successful, fulfilling lives.

Evryman has a particular focus in getting men out of our minds and into our bodies to feel our emotions.

In fact, Bryan and I use a variation of the Evryman protocol in our own men's group to practice emotional fluency.

What propelled Evryman on the national scene was one of their co-founders, Dan Doty, appeared on the Joe Rogan show…which led to big time media exposure including a spot on The Today Show.

Evryman has been featured in Men's Health, Inc. Magazine and the NY Times called Evryman the "Crossfit for Your Emotions"

According to our guest today, over 1,000 men have gone through their in person retreats and another 1,000 men are involved in their online communities.

I think it's important for you, the man who is listening, to have knowledge of and access to the men's work organizations that I've vetted and would personally recommend.

So today, our guest is Owen Marcus, co-founder of Evryman, to give you a behind the scenes look of what goes on at an Ervyman retreat.

Who is Owen Marcus:

• Co-founder of Evryman
• Coach, group facilitator, author
• Has a TEDx Talk What 10,000 Years of Progress Has Cost

In This Episode:

• What it's like to attend an Evryman retreat
• The 5 primary emotions men must learn how to identify in themselves
• How our inability to feel our inner world emotions creates barriers to intimacy
• The psychological safety conditions men need to open up
• The impact men's work has on the women in our lives Why the best night for sex is men's group night

#283

Check out the #100Great Pushup Challenge: https://www.onehundredgreat.com

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

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On January 1st we kicked off a 60-day Global Challenge to raise $1M for mental health called #100Great.

The challenge to is to do 100 pushups in a row by training the mind and body to transcend what we believe are our physical and mental limits.

It's not too late to register for the challenge – we've still got about 50 days left – so check it out the link in the show notes.

To support the theme of mental health, which remains more relevant than ever after 2 years in a global pandemic and polarized groups arguing with each other…

…we wanted to bring you a conversation about how to accumulate tools and skills to navigate adversity and how to get back up when you hit rock bottom.

Back again for another conversation is our boy Juvoni Beckford, who's been on this show 3 times before – most recently in episode #276, 12 book ideas for building your best self.

He's our resident expert on book recommendations, but this time he's coming on the show to share his story of how he hit rock bottom during the pandemic, how surrender allowed him to accept what he was feeling, and the tools he used to slowly but surely build himself back to a stronger, more resilient and confident man than ever before.

In This Episode:

• How burnout is often a precursor to anxiety and depression
• Dangers of consuming too much information and its impact on your mental health
• Why a big part of mental and emotional well-being is about unplugging from the information superhighway
• Why you should stop putting off therapy and just try it already
• Why supplements can have a profound impact on your inner chemistry and emotional well-being
• 5 Biggest Needle Movers for Upgrading Mental Health when climbing out from the bottom