The Great Man Within

#252

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You may not always be able to control the quantity of sleep you get (see: parents of young children)…

….but you do have control over many of the factors that contribute to the quality of sleep you get.

Today I'll give you 10 of those best practices.

But first…

The 2 Components of Quality Sleep

For many years I found myself frustrated and confused by my seemingly chronic state of fatigue despite getting the requisite 7-8 hours of sleep.

What I found for me personally was 1/3 of the sleep equation was quantity of sleep.

2/3 was the quality of sleep.

What I needed to first understand were the 2 components of quality sleep*:

*(Descriptions below from the Oura Ring sleep tracking app).

Deep Sleep:

• Deep sleep is the most restorative and rejuvenating sleep stage
• During deep sleep your muscles grow and repair
• Immune system is refreshed
• Brain flushes out toxins
• Usually, you get more deep sleep during the early stages of your sleep
• On average, adults spend 15-20% of total sleep time in deep sleep
• This % decreases with age over time

REM (Rapid Eye Movement Sleep):

• REM sleep is associated with dreaming, memory consolidation and creativity
• REM plays an important role in re-energizing your mind and body
• Typically, you get more REM sleep during the latter half of your sleep
• On average, the optimal amount for healthy adults starts from 1.5 hours but slightly decreases with age

The punchline was, I had no way of calibrating the quality of my sleep, but I suspected it was trash (turns out, it was).

So, when I learned how to impact the quality of my sleep – and how to measure it with the Oura Ring – naturally my sleep quality increased.

I started feeling more refreshed in the morning, fewer dips in the middle of the day, and fewer crash-landings early in the evening.

The 10 Practices to Enhance the Quality of Your Sleep

#1. Align Your Sleep Schedule with Your Circadian Rhythm (your body's natural sleep cycle)

In Dr. Matthew Walker's book Why We Sleep, he outlines the two biological forces that dictate when your body feels the need to sleep:

1. Your Circadian Rhythm
2. "Sleep Pressure" via adenosine (more on this in best practice #9 below)

Your genetics determine your circadian rhythm.

In simplest terms, you're either a night owl or a morning person.

If your lifestyle is designed and aligned to support your circadian rhythms, life is good.

If not, it can have tragic consequences.

For example, in Why We Sleep, Dr. Walker talks about how night owl's get the serious short end of the stick based on society's value on "early to bed early to rise."

Turns out night owls, in an effort to keep up with the societal norms, suffer from higher rates of anxiety, depression and stress related illnesses than morning people. Why? Because they go to bed later, get up earlier, sacrifice quantity and quality of sleep. Over the long haul this has serious consequences on physical, emotional and mental well-being.

#2. Establish a 90-Minute Bed Time Window

Your body wants to know when it's "sleep time" and when it's "wake time."

If you're going to bed at dramatically different times every night (ie 9:00pm, 1:00am, 10:30pm), your body gets confused.

It eventually rebels and makes you tired when you're trying to do work, and awake when you're trying to sleep.

Establishing a regular 90-minute window – mine is 10:00pm to 11:30pm – which you can aim to hit 4-5 nights a week can train your body to naturally start to wind down on a more consistent basis.

#3. No Food in Your Last 1-2 Hours Before Sleep

It's as simple as this: if your body is expending energy breaking down the rack-o-ribs you just pounded, it's not able to invest its energy in deep sleep repairing your brain and flushing toxins.

Further, if you're eating sugary stuff – wine, ice cream or heavy carbs that get converted to glucose – the sugar spike will also kick you out of quality sleep.

Do your best to eat lighter at night, and to have your last bite of food

#4. Reduce Liquids Last 60-90 Minutes Before Bed.

If you're like me, drinking water before bed is a surefire way to wakeup 2-3 times during the evening. That always knocks me out of deep and REM sleep cycles.

Instead, I hydrate for my last time about 90 minutes before bed, allowing me to sleep straight through the night.

First thing I do when I wake up is drink a quart of lemon water to hydrate myself.

#5. No Screens in the Last 30 Minutes (Ideally 60-90 minutes)

I have 3 years worth of sleep data on my Oura Ring and the numbers don't lie:

On the nights when I'm doing 2 hour Zoom calls between 7-9:00pm, I get 33-50% less deep sleep than on the evenings when I'm not blasting my eye sockets with blue light.

Power down the devices in the last 30-90 minutes of your night to increase your odds of getting higher quality sleep.

You can also consider Blue Light Blocker Glasses.

#6. Get a Sleep Tracking Device to Monitor Your Sleep Quality

In my opinion, one of the best investments you could ever make to your long term physical, mental and emotional well-being is in a high quality sleep tracking device.

It's critical to know which of your habits and behaviors are impacting the quality of your sleep.

My recommendation is the Oura Ring, which is $299.

While not inexpensive, I like to think about the impact on the years and decades of my future well-being (ie avoiding the time and financial costs of stress related illnesses).

It's the most respected sleep tracking device on the market (as endorsed by the NBA and used by many of the branches of the US Special Forces).

Note: I am not compensated by Oura in any way.

#7. Sleep in Cool Conditions

According to the NY Times:

Studies have found that in general, the optimal temperature for sleep is quite cool, around 60 to 68 degrees Fahrenheit. For some, temperatures that fall too far below or above this range can lead to restlessness.

You can access the article here.

Also, I purchased the ChiliPad, which is like a heating blanket…but in reverse.

I was an over-heater at night, waking up 3-4 times a night in sweat. After buying the Chilipad, I sleep cool throughout the night.

#8. Sleep in Blackout Darkness

To get my full night of sleep, I typically wake at 6:30am. Where I live, the sun rises somewhere around 5:30-5:45am.

If I allowed the sun to wake me up, I'd shortchange 30-60 minutes of my later stage sleep cycle…which is where REM sleep resides.

Some people will install blackout curtains in their room.

I prefer a sleep mask like this $10 version on Amazon.

#9. Caffeine: Educate Yourself on How it Effects Your Sleep Quality

I'm a HUGE coffee guy and that's not changing anytime soon.

But I'm also very well-educated on the impacts of caffeine half-life on sleep quality.

In episode #520 of the Tim Ferriss Podcast, Michael Pollan talks about how the quarter-life of caffeine is 12 hours.

Meaning, if you had a cup of coffee at noon, ¼ of that caffeine is still in your system.

The sleep experts agree that this will mess with the quality of your sleep, specifically deep sleep.

Going back to Why We Sleep by Dr Matthew Walker, the two biological forces that dictate when your body feels the need to sleep:

1. Your Circadian Rhythm
2. "Sleep Pressure" via adenosine

"Sleep pressure" is caused by a chemical named adenosine.

Here's the crash course on adenosine:

• From the moment you wake up, your body is producing adenosine
• The more adenosine that builds up, the sleepier you feel (hence the sleep pressure)
• Caffeine, however, blocks the adenosine receptor sites, so the adenosine has nowhere to go…but it remains in your system
• Caffeine has a long half-life (meaning, it takes 5-6 hours to eliminate half of the caffeine in your system)
• So, if you're drinking caffeine late in the day, you'll have a full day's build-up of adenosine but your body is still breaking down the caffeine

So what do I do about this? I finish my caffeine by 9:30-10:00am.

I know I'm still processing caffeine when I go to sleep, but I'm getting enough deep sleep and love my coffee enough to be cool with the tradeoff ;-)

I also do a quarterly caffeine detox.

Meaning, I'll take a 7-14 day hiatus from caffeine to flush my system of caffeine and all the adenosine that'd been built up in my system.

#10. Read Why We Sleep by Dr. Matthew Walker

Listen, if one of the most important factors for your short and long term physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being is the quality of your sleep…

…shouldn't you invest a few hours into educating yourself on one of the most well-respected pieces of literature on the subject?

If you liked Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, you'll enjoy Why We Sleep.

-DQ

#251

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

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In Bryan's first solo episode he explores the #1 question he gets from men who are curious about inner work: "Where do I start?"

In this episode, Bryan explores the books, podcasts, retreats, conversations, and reflections that have followed from first asking Dominick where to begin in 2016.

He uses these influences to provide a blueprint on how to create an experience-driven meditation that's driven by the your own journey, and why it can be the most important place to start.

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill: https://amzn.to/2VtzbKZ

Living from a Place of Surrender by Michael Singer (audiobook): https://amzn.to/3r2fsOl

#250

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

Soltara Healing Center in Costa Rica: https://soltara.co/

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If you've ever been curious about working with the incredible plant medicine of Ayahuasca, this is your episode.

In this Episode:

• The 3 most important considerations of a psychedelic journey
• The difference between drugs and healing medicines like Ayahuasca
• Who's ready for psychedelics, who's not
• What to expect from an Ayahuasca ceremony
• How to prepare for your ceremony
• How to integrate what you've learned
• What I've learned from my 20 ceremonies

#249

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

Inquire about the Great Man Masterminds: [email protected]

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In the words of Bruno Mars:

"Today I don't feel like doing anything I just wanna lay in my bed Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone 'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything."

- Bruno Mars, The Lazy Song

There's 7% of me that's a lazy, unmotivated slob.

I used to be ashamed of this part of me (the part I call Lazy Dom.)

I was afraid Lazy Dom was actually who I was…and if I slowed down or didn't go turbo 120% of the time…I would descend into a slothenly abyss of nothingness.

All that did was me leading to a constant cycle of BOOM and BURST.

Today, I embrace the 7% of me that's a lazy unmotivated slob.

Because he actually carries some wisdom about what I need to be healthy and balanced long term.

In today's episode, I make a case that the "lazy" part of you deserves a seat at your table.

-DQ

#248

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

There was a period of time in my life where alcohol was a social necessity.

Friday and Saturday nights were a given. And because I worked in a sales role, I also had social opportunities nearly every other night of the week that involved the consumption of alcohol.

Hangovers were a cost of doing business, lazy Saturdays and Sundays were the norm, skipped workouts and late night food binges were commonplace.

But as I got deeper on my inner work journey, I realized I was no longer willing to pay these steep prices that were keeping me from embodying my version of a Great Man.

Today I rarely if ever drink. And that's a personal choice for me. I celebrate others who enjoy drinking and can do so responsibly.

This episode is for you if:

• You don't have a drinking problem, but want to get a better idea of whether your current alcohol consumption patterns are impacting your ability to be your best self
• You've thought about taking a break or drinking less but fear the social pushback
• You've worried whether your social life will evaporate once you stop drinking
• You're curious to see what impact an alcohol-free life (or less alcohol life) would have on you living Your Great Man

Today you're going to hear a story from a man who I respect deeply, who made the bold move to give up alcohol altogether…not after hitting his bottom. But rather, after hitting his ceiling, and knowing that alcohol was holding him back his absolute best self.

You see, Steve Wilt is one of the premier financial advisors and a senior partner at one of the top financial services firms in the business.

Every year you'll see Steve neck-and-neck at the top of the firm for most business production. He's got an incredibly loving partnership with his long-term wife whose relationship continues to flourish with each passing year. He's a devoted and present father to two children who he adores. He's a devout man of faith. And a pillar of giving back to his community of Akron Ohio.

Steve is a man who has chosen to go for it all – his absolute Great Man – and decided that alcohol was standing in his path to realizing his fullest potential.

In this episode:

• How - and why - to consider stop drinking even when you don't have a problem
• How your identity – your self concept – plays a huge role in why you drink
• How to start your path of reducing, temporarily abstaining or stopping drinking altogether
• How to communicate this change to your social community who's used to you drinking
• How to handle social contacts who don't want to see you change
• A non-Alcoholics Anonymous group resource to help you quit alcohol if you desire

Resources I Am A Comeback: Confidential Alcohol Recovery Program for Me

#247

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

Inquire About the Great Man Mastermind: [email protected]

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Lone wolves starve.

And yet, so many men lone wolf many aspects of their lives unnecessarily and to their own detriment.

Today, I share with you five signs that you're lone wolfing your life:

1. You believe your problems aren't important (so you deal with them all on your own)
2. You feel no one really knows the real you
3. What you project externally doesn't match w/what you feel internally
4. No one's there to really celebrate your wins with you
5. You're always at the game, but rarely come off the sideline

#246

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

Stop Lone Wolfing Your Life - Inquire About the Digital Mastermind: [email protected]

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For the last decade I've been on a spiritual journey to find purpose, inner peace and fulfillment.

I've battled addiction, lost love and ended a lucrative career that was no longer satisfying.

I've studied many of the greats and the gurus.

But it took me nearly 40 years to realize that the greatest spiritual guide of my life shares my blood:

My special needs sister Mary.

In today's episode I'll be sharing with you 4 of the greatest spiritual lessons Mary has taught me.

Mary's 4 Spiritual Lessons

1. Forgiveness is Freedom
2. Make Joy a Priority
3. Receiving Begets Abundance
4. Different is Beautiful

#245

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

Inquire About the Great Man Mastermind: [email protected]

Prolon 5-Day Fast Mimicking Diet: https://prolonfast.com/

Note: I am not sponsored by Prolon in any way

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In Today's Episode:

• 5 benefits of fasting
• Difference between fast and "fast-mimicking"
• How to do a fast without starving
• Review of the Prolon 5-Day Fast Mimicking Diet

#244

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

Inquire about the Great Man Digital Mastermind: [email protected]

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Have you ever wanted to go after your dream career…but are afraid of failing? Have you ever wanted to do public speaking…but are terrified of the stage? Have you ever wanted to launch a blog…but are scared of being criticized?

These fears are the limits of your liberation. These fears are like invisible walls keeping you from the very things you want most in life.

The thing our guest today wanted most in life was to learn how to love his body as much as he loved the man on the inside. But he was always afraid of allowing his body to be seen, because he carried shame about its appearance. That lifelong fear was his invisible wall, keeping him from liberation and self love.

Until he took the bold move of doing what scared him most – taking his shirt off in the middle of a circle of 20 men – and stood tall amidst a tornado of terrifying emotions.

Let me back up for a second.

Over these last 11 years of doing and leading inner work, it's become crystal clear that there are 3 big energies that control or sabotage most men's lives:

Fear Anger Sexual Energy

Many men's lives will be dictated or boxed in by these energies. That can feel disempowering. Suffocating. Imprisoning.

However, when a man learns how to step into the arena and train to dance with these energies that used to sabotage him, then the entire trajectory of his life changes.

Today, we will be honing in on the energy of fear – and how walking towards the edge of your fears and doing what scares you most, can be your path to liberation.

Our special guest for this discussion is the very first man I ever called a brother: Mike DeCoursey.

I never had a biological brother, but I never needed one. DeCo has been my "brother" since back before my memory switched on over 35 years ago.

Throughout the course of his life, DeCo has faced extraordinary adversity:

• Losing his father to a sudden aneurysm at age 7
• Being at Ground Zero on 9/11 and barely surviving
• Being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness
• Surviving a life-threatening aneurysm at age 42

DeCo has had a lifelong battle with his weight and body image, causing him to say "I've always loved the man on the inside, but I haven't always loved what I see on the outside."

And by doing what scared him most, he broke free from the shackles of shame and took a giant leap towards the feelings he desires most in life.

In Today's Episode:

• How DeCo found the courage to do the thing that terrified him most (spoiler, it was prompted by a podcast episode we recently released on body shame)
• How doing what scares you most sets off a chain reaction of vulnerability that inspires other men to step towards their edges
• How having a group of trusted men in your life will allow you to confront your fears, take bigger risks and live as your Great Man
• And finally, we have our very first "Rick Reveal"

Resources

Walk with Deco Podcast: Click Here Deco's Website: Click Here Deco's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/walkwithdeco

GMW Episode #234: Body Shame, Weight Loss and Self Love with Mordechai Weiner

#243

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

Inquire about the Great Man Within Digital Mastermind: [email protected]

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The Board of Directors Meditation Technique will help you:

• Identify an "inner board of directors" that guides your life
• Create powerful intentionality in your daily living
• Practice the feelings and behaviors you wish to cultivate in your life

Recommended Episode: Ep #85 A Board of Directors for Your Emotions