The High Low

Doll's Polls is back, with a strange fact about what heterosexual women most look for, in a man. A handsome face? A tight tush? Nope -- quite frankly, you'll never guess. We also discuss a beautiful ode from a coupled-up woman to her single friends, Matt Haig's new book about finding hope in the lives you could have lived, and a couple of our favourite comedy shows by women.

And - deep breath - we dive into the issues raised by a personal essay penned by the model and actor Emily Ratajkowski, that blew up certain parts of the internet this week, about who owns a public image. We address women's bodies and the ethics of sharing in the age of Instagram, with a side order of choice feminism. You can share your thoughts with us via e-mail -- we're sure you'll have a few.

E-mail [email protected]

Tweet @thehighlowshow

Shop thehighlowshop.com - 100% of profits go to charity, currently Black Minds Matter and Freedom charity

Links

Emily Ratajkowski on reclaiming her own image, for New York magazine https://www.thecut.com/article/emily-ratajkowski-owning-my-image-essay.html

The Emily Ratajkowski effect, by Haley Nahman for her Maybe Baby newsletter https://haleynahman.substack.com/p/24-the-cult-of-emily-ratajkowski

The Duchess, on Netflix

RBG, on Netflix

Ruth Bader Ginsberg's death means pro-choicers have a fight on their hands, by Zoe Williams for The Guardian https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/sep/22/ruth-bader-ginsburg-pro-choicers-abortion-us-presidential-election

Tracks, on BBC Sounds

The Midnight Library, by Matt Haig, out now

This Way Up on All4 

Seven Pledges to My Single Friends by Caroline O’Donoghue https://www.irishexaminer.com/opinion/columnists/arid-40048532.html

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In today's episode we discuss news of the telly: decade-defining reality show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, is ending after 20 seasons; US soap The Bold & The Beautiful are using dummies in their snogging scenes; and most depressingly and shamefully, Ofcom have received 22,000 (15,600 at the time of record) complaints over dance troupe Diversity's moving dance rendition of George Floyd's death on Britain's Got Talent. 

Also today, we discuss the joy of a buffet (with an excerpt from new book In The Kitchen read by Joel Golby), the world's first ever A.I. model agency and the emergence of lockdown literature, featuring Zadie Smith's booklet of essays, Intimations. 

E-mail us [email protected]

Tweet us @thehighlowshow

Shop thehighlowshop.com - 100% of profits go to charity: Black Minds Matter and Freedom Charity

Links

Intimations by Zadie Smith

Zadie Smith on Adam Buxton podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/ep-130-zadie-smith/id1040481893?i=1000487206444?i=1000487206444

In The Kitchen: essays on food and life https://www.waterstones.com/book/in-the-kitchen/yemisi-aribisala/joel-golby/9781911547662

Is this the end of the buffet? by Joel Golby https://www.theguardian.com/food/2020/sep/13/joel-golby-end-of-the-buffet-in-covid-19

Keeping up with the Kardashians is ending. What does it all mean? by Rosa Lyster https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/sep/13/keeping-up-with-the-kardashians-ending-reality-tv

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We reminisce over garage music (without being entirely sure what officially defines a garage track), discuss the dicey new Dettol ad that's got everyone's knickers in a twist and why we both felt ashamed when we read Gwyneth Paltrow's recent piece about the trauma of her 'conscious uncoupling', ten years ago.

Plus, the sensitive and moving BBC drama about a life never lived, Anthony; a brilliant pocket-sized book on race by Ijeoma Oluo; and Dolly's favourite show, Circus of Books, about a famous gay pornography and bookshop of the 1980s.

Oh! And Dolly's solved the mystery of Francesco - her long-term house ghost. You're welcome.

E-mail [email protected]

Tweet @thehighlowshow

Shop thehighlowshop.com - 100% of profits go to charity (50% to Black Minds Matter, 50% to Freedom Charity)

Links

Gwyneth Paltrow on her experience of conscious uncoupling https://www.vogue.co.uk/arts-and-lifestyle/article/gwyneth-paltrow-conscious-uncoupling

Circus of Books, on Netflix

So You Want To Talk About Race, by Ijeoma Oluo

Anthony, on BBC iPlayer

Bella Mackie on the joy of small purchases for British Vogue, https://www.vogue.co.uk/arts-and-lifestyle/article/new-shopping-habits

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We back! And it's the old mixed bag of content: from grubby gussets to bathroom-heavy mansions in WeHo, via a revisitation of our noughties book shelves. Links below, you know what to do.

Shop [email protected]

Tweet @thehighlowshow

Shop thehighlowshop.com - 100% profits go to charity (Freedom Charity and Black Minds Matter)

Links

Watching/ listening

Mrs America on Netflix

Selling Sunset on Netflix

Shagged Married Annoyed on all podcast apps

Jim Nicholson on Fresh Air https://www.npr.org/2019/03/01/698908276/fresh-air-remembers-philadelphia-daily-news-obituary-writer-jim-nicholson?t=1598993655688

Reading

The Confession by Jessie Burton

Dominicana by Angie Cruz

Lost To The Virus, a series for The Guardian by Sirin Kale 

26a by Diana Evans

Two Lives by Vikram Seth

'Heirlooms' a short story by Bryan Washington for The New Yorker

More Than A Woman by Caitlin Moran 

High Fidelity by Nick Hornby 

How to Live On 24 Hours a Day by Arnold Bennett 

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It’s our last episode of the season - and boy, do we have a bumper episode for you. In this week’s show we discuss what Twitter’s failure to suspend Wiley says about our failure to combat anti-semitism (and what you can do to help), the graphic and glorious podcast of the year, Brown Girls Do It Too, Kiley Reid’s incisive and compulsively readable novel Such A Fun Age and an author special with the inspiring and thought-provoking columnist and author of We Need New Stories, Nesrine Malik about why we must resist cultural myths. Plus, some newsletters to subscribe to right now, and an Ask The High Low question about dating after cancer. We’ll be back in early September! 

E-mail: [email protected] (but please do note the inbox will be unmanned for August)

Tweet: @thehighlowshow

Shop: thehighlowshop.com where 100% proceeds go to charity - 50% to Black Minds Matter and 50% to Freedom Charity 

Links

Following/ signing

@geraldstratfor3 on Twitter 

Sign the petition for Wiley to have his MBE removed 

https://www.change.org/p/parliament-remove-wileys-mbe?recruiter=136977510&recruited_by_id=853bea40-b288-0130-c64a-3c764e051fd7-23699423-en-gb%3A2

Write to [email protected] to request the removal of Wiley’s MBE 

Reading

The Waiting Room, a newsletter by Amelia Tait 

https://t.co/K354wEstO1?amp=1

Sidenotes, a newsletter by Sophie Wilkinson 

https://t.co/8Tktq491Lh?amp=1

The Red Hand Files, a newsletter by Nick Cave 

https://www.theredhandfiles.com

The Meander, a newsletter by Dolly Alderton 

https://t.co/1oQyVWIXz4?amp=1

Such A Fun Age, by Kiley Reid

We Need New Stories, by Nesrine Malik

Hot Little Hands, by Abigail Ulman 

Listening/ watching 

Brown Girls Do It Too, on BBC Sounds

In Writing podcast, by Hattie Crisell

Call My Agent, on Netflix 

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We dig further into the cultural conversation around parenting, courtesy of masses of feedback from our listeners on last week's ep and a thoughtful piece on same-sex parenting. Also today: Taffy Brodesser-Akner's short story, Dolly's favourite new dating columnist, a novel that delves into the foibles as much as the grand themes of old age, and why people are happier by the sea. And we introduce our new charitable outlets for The High Low shop.

E-mail [email protected]

Tweet@thehighlowshow

Shop at thehighlowshop.com - 100% of profits go to charity (50% to Black Minds Matter, 50% to The Orchid Project.)

Links

The Weekend, by Charlotte Wood

A Curious Career by Lynn Barber 

Taffy Brodesser Akner's short story https://www.thecut.com/2020/07/fleishman-is-in-lockdown-a-story-by-taffy-brodesser-akner.html

Annie Lorde's dating column for Vogue https://www.vogue.co.uk/arts-and-lifestyle/article/sexting

What adopting as a same-sex couple taught us, by Ben Fergusson for The Guardian https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/jul/18/mums-day-off-is-it-what-adopting-as-a-same-sex-couple-taught-us

orchidproject.org

blackmindsmatteruk.com

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Today we discuss how motherhood and child-free women are culturally discussed and pitted against one another, referencing podcasts, a journalistic series and Emma Gannon's new novel, Olive, along the way. We also answer an Ask The High Low from a woman whose partner wants children, but she's worried about how pregnancy, birth and motherhood may affect her mental health.

Also today, we talk about a candid interview with Thandie Newton, where the actor reflects on a 30 year career often rife with micro-aggressions and misogyny, Nick Hornby's new novel and recommend two social and mentorship networks: City Girl Network and The Black Agents and Editors Group, for people of African descent working in publishing or media.

E-mail [email protected]

Tweet @thehighlowshow

Shop thehighlowshop.com - 100% of profits go to charity, 50% to Show Racism The Red Card and 50% to Women's Aid

Links

https://www.goclimate.com

Reading

Olive by Emma Gannon

Just Like You by Nick Hornby 

Thandie Newton interview by E Alex Jung for Vulture https://www.vulture.com/article/thandie-newton-in-conversation.html

Michaela Cole interview by E Alex Jung for Vulture https://www.vulture.com/article/michaela-coel-i-may-destroy-you.html

'Am I willing to risk my mental health to have a baby?' by Bella Mackie for The Sunday Times https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/bella-mackie-am-i-willing-to-risk-my-mental-health-to-have-a-baby-36pvzdl50

Guardian US series on being child-free https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/series/childfree

Listening/ watching

Helen Mirren on WTF with Marc Maron

Sian Harries and Grace Dent are ambivalent about motherhood https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b09jd32d

Networks, petitions and mentorship

City Girls Network https://citygirlnetwork.com

The Black Agents and Editors Group https://blackagentsandeditors.com

Sign the petition to protect free hospital parking for NHS staff https://www.change.org/p/uk-parliament-free-parking-at-work-for-all-nhs-staff?recruiter=60114810&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_initial&utm_term=11bcc65d09ce4da697c7beddfbe0a4f7&recruited_by_id=2c992f50-ed5e-0130-e2cf-3c764e044346

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The pubs have opened; but why is the beauty sector still in lockdown? Also today, we discuss the slew of videos of children interrupting their parents during a pandemic, a new book about love and loneliness in 1950s suburbia, and a deep-dive into Nora Ephron. And Dolly interviews the brilliant former doctor, comic and writer, Adam Kay, about a new book he has edited, Dear NHS: 100 Stories To Say Thank You.

E-mail [email protected]

Tweet @thehighlowshow

Shop thehighlowshop.com - 100% profits go to charity (50% to Show Racism The Red Card, 50% to Women's Aid)

Links

Small Pleasures, by Clare Chambers, out now

The Old Man, by Roger Angel https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/02/17/old-man-3

Everything Is Copy, on NOW TV via Sky Documentaries

Dear NHS: A Collection of 100 Stories To Say Thank You, edited by Adam Kay - out 9th July

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Wishing you were at Glastonbury? Get stuck into Zing Tseng's piece, instead. Ruby Tandoh reads us an excerpt of her beautiful piece on quitting, and we discuss why quitting is not just a physical act - but a state of mind. Also today: a Doll's Polls on first date turn-offs (verdict: most of them are unavoidable), a hilarious analysis by Diyora Shadijanova of what Gen Z'ers really think about millennials (verdict: old and boring), plus a great primer on white privilege by Robin DiAngelo and Channel 4's documentary, The School That Tried To End Racism. 

E-mail [email protected]

Tweet @thehighlowshow

Shop thehighlowshop.com - 100% profits go to charity (50% Show Racism The Red Card, 50% Women's Aid)

Links

Zing Tseng on festivals for Vice https://www.vice.com/amp/en_uk/article/4ayagj/what-i-miss-festivals-glastonbury

Ruby Tandoh on the art of quitting for WePresent https://wepresent.wetransfer.com/story/work-sucks-i-know-ruby-tandoh/

Eat Up, by Ruby Tandoh

What Gen Z'ers think about millennials, by Diyora Shadijanova https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/4ay3gw/what-gen-z-thinks-of-millennials?

Why “I’m not racist” is only half the story, by Robin DiAngelo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzLT54QjclA&feature=emb_title  

The School That Tried To End Racism, on Channel 4od

Oprah's SuperSoul Conversations: Ellen DeGeneres Comes Out https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/ellen-degeneres-comes-out/id1264843400?i=1000475900203

Desert Island Discs - Chili Bouchier https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0093nxc  

The Great Godden, by Meg Rosoff

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Mmmm get that yeasty pong. Today we recall the wisdom of Zadie Smith, chat more about the jaw-dropping drama that is Michaela Coel's I May Destroy You, discuss Naoise Dolan's piece on how autism has shaped her work and recommend Munroe Bergdorf's Table Manners interview. We also drop a lot of not entirely irrelevant but mostly random animal facts - including the retirement of Diego, the Warren Beatty of tortoises. Plus, an Ask The High Low about what to do when you're single, and none of your coupled up friends understand.

E-mail [email protected]

Tweet @thehighlowshow

Shop thehighlowshop.com - 100% of profits go to charity (Women's Aid and Show Racism The Red Card)

Links

A Ladder To The Sky 

How Being Diagnosed with Autism Changed My Life, by Naoise Dolan for The Sunday Times Style https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/naoise-dolan-how-being-diagnosed-with-autism-aged-27-changed-my-life-lc9f7bzp0

I May Destroy You, on BBC iPlayer

Arena: Desert Island Discs 1982 on BBC iPlayer

Big Brother: Best Shows Ever on 4OD

Zadie Smith on Literary Friction 

Munroe Bergdorf on Table Manners

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