The High Performance Life

In this week's episode, I am joined by Nick Pollard! People call Nick the People-DIS-Pleaser because he teaches thousands of people every week how to set boundaries and break free from people-pleasing. (And that can be displeasing to the people that love to walk all over you!)

You CAN live a life that is genuine to you, people-pleasing isn't your forever.

As Nick says it, he has walked the road from people-pleaser to captain of his own life.

In the beginning People-pleasers are usually trained from childhood. The demand to be quiet, push aside your own needs and be EXACTLY what everyone else expects is DRILLED IN to our brains.

Nick spent his whole childhood and the first few years of adulthood trying to please his dad.

He was constantly proving himself (and lying to himself about how miserable he was).

And then Everything came crashing down. HARD! His dad was hiding a terrible secret and when Nick found out how horribly his dad had betrayed the rest of his family his world imploded.

Nick turned to alcohol and spent almost every minute at the bar. He threw away his entire "perfect" life he'd built and he didn't care. He was overweight, coming off a 3rd divorce and a business he had bankrupted.

Suddenly Nick realised he'd only been living for other people – This was the beginning of the changes. Doormat Nick, the one who would ask "how high" when anybody said jump, the Nick with zero boundaries – was OUT!

For the first time Nick felt awake and he was going to be HIM for the very first time.

Key Points

• People-pleasing can be selfish

• Genuine giving vs. pleasing giving

• The personal cost of people-pleasing

• Transactional relationships' toxicity

• Self-authenticity's role in fulfillment

Best Quotes

07:57 - 08:06

• "Right? And to me, when I thought of how I was living my life, it was always like, will this other person like me? That's why I'm doing it."

09:05 - 09:16

• "And it's this inauthentic way of being that causes us as humans, or, you know, as people-pleasing humans, to never also understand who we are."

11:32 - 11:42

• "And what I mean by transactional is like you give to get acceptance and love. So if your relationships feel like they're transactional, it's because you've made them transactional"

11:58 - 12:05

• "It's a really, really painful realization. Like, you've chosen your life to this point, right?"

12:21 - 12:28

• "At the end of the day, we are all accountable for how we've lived our lives. We are responsible for how this thing turns out."

In this week's episode I am joined by Dr. Joel "Gator" Warsh!

Joel Warsh is a Board-Certified Pediatrician in Los Angeles,California who specializes in Parenting, Wellness and Integrative Medicine. He grew up in Toronto, Canada and completed degrees in Kinesiology, Psychology and Epidemiology and Community Health before earning his medical degree from Thomas Jefferson Medical College.

He completed his Pediatric Medicine training at Children's Hospital of Los Angeles (CHLA) and worked in private practice in Beverly Hills before founding his current practice, Integrative Pediatrics and Medicine Studio City, in 2018. Dr. Gator has published research in peer-reviewed journals on topics including childhood injuries, obesity and physical activity.

He has been featured in numerous documentaries, films, summits, podcasts and articles including CBS, Fox, LA Parent, Washington Post, MindBodyGreen, and many others. He is also the founder of the Parenting Masterclass Platform Raising Amazing which can be found at RaisingAmazingPlus.com

Dr. Joel Gator may be best known for his popular Instagram DrJoelGator where he offers weekly parenting and integrative pediatric support.

He is a consultant for high-profile brands in the health and wellness space.

Dr. Gator is married to Sarah Intelligator, an attorney, whose Holistic Divorce and Family Law practice is located in Beverly Hills.

For almost 20 years, she has taught yoga throughout Los Angeles. Dr. Joel was given the nickname, Dr. Gator, by his peers after marrying Sarah Intelligator (yes that is her real last name) and the nickname stuck.

On May 20, 2025, he will be releasing Between a Shot and a Hard Place: Tackling Vaccine Questions with Balance, Data, and Clarity (currently ranked #1 in new releases in vaccines on Amazon). It is the first and only book about vaccines that offers a balanced approach by fostering open dialogue and informed choices for the sake of our children's health. This is not an "anti-vax" book – it encourages thoughtful discussion free from biases of advocacy or opposition. Vaccines are amongst the most heated topics of debate and discourse and are often subject to censorship. This is why openly discussing vaccines has never been more critical.

Key Points • Vaccine talks reignite curiosity

• RFK's impactful health campaign

• The push for preventive health practices

• Curiosity in science is essential for progress

• Parents increasingly question vaccine safety

• Ingredients in food vastly differ today

Best Quotes

07:11 - 07:25

• "I think we need to be curious and we need to ask questions. And I do believe, just like you said, COVID really opened up people's minds about vaccines because exactly what you said, like if we have something that can save your life or prevent you from getting sick, that's great."

10:15 - 10:20

• "I'm a doctor, I'm a pediatrician, I'm a great pediatrician. If anyone was gonna know it should be me, and I didn't know most of it." 12:59 - 13:06

• "We really need smart people talking to each other and, and disagreeing and, and, and kind of talking about these, these subjects."

13:40 - 13:48

• "And it's really tough for parents when you have all that information. And it's tough for me because I see that and I'm like, it, it's just, it's really tough, you know?"

20:22 - 20:27

• "But I do think they wanna have a better understanding of what the risks are."

In this week's episode, I am joined by Dana Grant! Dana Grant is an International Master Life and Business Coach, keynote speaker, and podcast host dedicated to guiding individuals toward transformative personal and professional growth.

With a background as a business executive, Dana transitioned into coaching to help clients overcome limiting beliefs and achieve radical change.

In 2016, Dana co-founded Cali'Flour Foods, a multi-million dollar food company, reflecting her commitment to holistic health. She later sold the company in 2017 to fully dedicate herself to her coaching career.

Dana's journey is marked by resilience and a commitment to self-love, as she has overcome personal challenges to inspire others to embrace their true potential.

Key Points

• Healing via self-love and not shame

• Curiosity fosters presence and interest

• Energy fields affect our interactions

• Transforming pain into self-love

• Authentic energy as the true magnet

Best Quotes

08:21 - 08:28

• "Isn't it interesting how we have so much patience for other people and their journey, but we don't have any for ourselves?"

08:30 - 08:38

• "You know, there's a lot of truth to that. I can get very impatient. But you know what I've learned, and I think, I think it's, I'm gonna say mature, maybe an age thing."

11:44 - 11:52

• "We have to identify, and I look at life as a switchboard. You know, I, it was before my time, but, you know, in 1950s, they had all those little plugin switchboards." 14:41 - 14:46

• "If you find yourself feeling like you have to get smaller, you are in the wrong room."

18:38 - 18:49

• "What you just described is the benefit of failure and then leaning into that failure and building upon it. Yeah. Because every time we fail, yeah. We learn something exponential." 20:10 - 20:20

• "And the power in there of the framing with I ams. I mean, I am is such a powerful start to anything because you're you, we wanna visualize."

In this week's episode, I am joined by Tyler Dickerhoof! Tyler is a renowned mentor and advisor for entrepreneurs and executives who are seeking effective leadership guidance.

He has led an organization of over 250,000 individuals and supported his wife, Kelley, in becoming one of the top 5 income earners at Isagenix.

His expertise in leadership is highly sought after by leaders of all types who want to elevate their teams to new levels. He serves on the Maxwell Network Marketing Advisory Council, the High Capacity Leaders Council, and is a Certified Maxwell Leadership Coach.

Growing up and working in the agriculture industry, Tyler witnessed firsthand the tough and challenging nature of leadership. This upbringing and experience have driven him to grow and transform himself to be able to lead and connect with all types of people, in all industries. But it wasn't always that way.

Tyler used to believe that his worth was derived from how much he knew, so his life was very much about convincing others that he knew it all. Any time he faced challenges, he would simply put his head down and push his way through them, eventually pushing away all of those close to him, too.

Now, his mission in life is to provide others with the self-awareness, the tools, and the community they need to make the same miraculous transformation.

Tyler created the Impact Driven Leader Podcast, Awaken the Leader Within Course and the Impact Driven Leader Roundtable, a supportive community that gives members the space to be vulnerable, become wholly self-aware, and grow into the best version of themselves. Key Points

• Infuse love into leadership roles

• Practice and refine personal growth daily

• Leadership is serving, not asserting control

• Importance of belief in self and others

• The impact of vulnerability on connection

Best Quotes

22:54 - 23:04

• "If we can come to grips with our own or understand how someone else is manifesting theirs, we can enhance the relationship, build a connection, and then we can do so much more." 34:39 - 34:45

• "Because the idea to be the best employee is to be the leader, right. To, to start leading yourself."

45:59 - 46:10

• "If we can get them in a place of growing, of learning, of seeing trust and quality relationships, they're building a culture and the right kind of cultures people wanna be a part of."

47:05 - 47:15

• "Belief is a superpower belief in yourself that you can do anything and there's no holding back belief from someone else in you."

54:23 - 54:34

• "Empathy is putting your arms around people and walking with them. So a leader that is empathetic, that's willing to put their arms around others and walk with them won't feel lonely."

In this week's episode, I am joined by Jayne Mattingly! Jayne Mattingly is a disability advocate and eating disorder recovery coach. She is the CEO of Recovery Love and Care, a global virtual eating disorder recovery coaching curriculum and training program.

She is also the Founder of the non-for-profit The AND Initiative, which aims to provide inspiration, advocacy, resources, support, and the gifting mobility aids to those with chronic illness and physical disabilities.

At age twenty-seven, Jayne was in a routine barre class when she suddenly lost the ability to move her body. By age 32, she went from healthy and able bodied, to someone who had undergone 19 brain and spine surgeries plus procedures and a total hysterectomy. She used a rollator on her wedding day.

Now, at 35, she relies on her wheelchair, rollator, and her service dog Wheatie (who she wrote about for Today.com).

Diagnosed with intracranial hypertension and Ehlers- Danlos syndrome, Jayne experienced an immense amount of what she has coined as Body Grief. Jayne has become a leading voice in disability advocacy.

She has been featured on NBC News, Apartment Therapy, Pushing Forward Podcast, Business Insider, and more.

Jayne's motivational and hopeful journey as a newly disabled woman and chronically ill woman speaks to the body grief we all experience -- from puberty to menopause to infertility, pregnancy loss, gender dysphoria, disability and chronic illness, to injury, food allergies and more -- and teaches us how to cope, heal, and ultimately better understand our feelings around our bodies. From feelings of anger and betrayal to a place where gratitude can exist alongside grief. Key Points

• Body grief is a universal experience.

• Disabilities come with discrimination and empathy.

• Marriage transforms with illness onset.

• Surrendering aids acceptance of physical changes.

• Coping mechanisms are essential for growth.

Best Quotes

02:09 - 02:22

• "And so then I was, you know, helping people work through their eating disorders. And I also went to school and, you know, specialized in eating disorders and body image, but also specialized in grief."

03:21 - 03:33

• "I lost my sight completely, like went blind and the lower half of my body stopped working. And you know, long story short, I was diagnosed with intracranial hypertension."

04:10 - 04:19

• "I can't do, my body can't do anymore. How am I supposed to love my body now? And that's when I really realized like, this is body grief."

05:59 - 06:07

• "It's not just a disability issue. It's not just a female issue, a woman issue. It is an everybody issue, and there's no hierarchy to suffering."

11:44 - 11:54

• "I've looked, I looked at him before we got engaged and I was like, you can leave. Like, you don't have to stay with me. And he was like, why would I do that? Like, I love you."

In this week's episode, I am joined by Dr. Don Wood!

Dr. Don Wood, PhD, is the visionary behind TIPP and a leading expert in trauma resolution.

With years of research in neuroscience, he has helped thousands of people overcome their trauma-rooted challenges, empowering them to transform their lives.

As the author of "You Must Be Out of Your Mind" and "Emotional Concussions", Dr. Wood's groundbreaking work has gained international recognition.

His program has been featured in numerous media outlets and has profoundly impacted high performers, trauma survivors, and anyone seeking peace, clarity, and a more inspired life.

Key Points

• Overcoming trauma to unleash potential

• Emotional concussions impact behaviors

• Addiction as a symptom, not a disease

• Corporate culture transformed by healing

• Enhanced performance through mental fitness

Best Quotes

• "She realized that she didn't marry me because she loved me. She married me because I was secure, and she never had security and safety."

• "I believe sexual abuse is the number one pandemic in the world. It's everywhere."

• "Once people go through the program, we reset the system, we resolve the trauma, their traumas resolved, inflammation comes down, immune system comes up."

• "So through the research, what I discovered is this unresolved trauma that keeps running. And so that's going to create inflammation."

• "The genes that regulate inflammation upregulate, the genes that regulate the immune system downregulate."

• "If we're in a danger situation, a fight or flight or threatening situation, our system is protecting us."

For more information about Dr. Don Wood: https://www.inspiredperformanceinstitute.comute.com/

In this week's episode, I am joined by Laysha Ward! Laysha Ward is an accomplished C-suite executive with 32 years of leadership experience at Target Corporation.

She most recently served as the retailer's Executive Vice President, Chief External Engagement Officer, overseeing its enterprise-wide approach to stakeholder relations.

Laysha grew up in a small town in rural Indiana with a population of 700. She began her educational journey at a program for low-income children and families. From first grade through senior year, she was the only Black girl in her class.

She began her career as a frontline team member on the salesfloor at Marshall Field's in Chicago.

Today, she is one of the nation's top black female C-suite executives who teaches how to lead with meaning. In her groundbreaking, inspiring, and holistic approach to leadership, Laysha breaks down the skills and self-work required for fulfilling a life with purpose, leading others, and living out a life of meaning at any and every stage.

Laysha believes that when you lead with meaning, you are taking a holistic approach that blends your life and career.

Her new book, "Lead Like You Mean It; Lessons on Integrity and Purpose from the C-Suite" launches on Feb 18, 2025! Key Points

• Purpose-driven leadership keys

• Integrity's role in career success

• Value of authentic relationships

• Balancing work and personal life

• Embracing life's imperfections

Best Quotes

01:58 - 02:03

• "But I also have an amazing lived experience as a girl from small town rural America."

02:04 - 02:10

• "And everything that I've done in between really has given me a unique vantage point on leadership."

03:12 - 03:24

• "The book really becomes a platform for me to offer up more of those lessons, more of a roadmap, to share more broadly with people."

03:40 - 03:47

• "Because that's what's at the core of lead, like you mean it, right? Those are the four guiding principles of lead. Like you mean it."

09:53 - 10:07

• "And so the book talks about flourishing together, and I use examples of not only my husband Bill, who is quite the character and very lovable, so I really encourage folks to read that, that portion of the book."

15:59 - 16:11

• "And so if we just make that foundational and understood, we can begin to work openly, candidly, honestly, towards making sure that every day we have the support that we need to do our best and be our best."

23:46 - 23:56

• "We are all human. That we are all worthy, that we are all a student and a teacher and have something to give and are worthy of also receiving."

45:53 - 45:59

• "I call it strategic serendipity. Things may not happen when you want 'em, but they're always right on time."

In this week's episode, I am joined by John R. Miles! John R. Miles is a globally recognized authority on leadership, intentional behavior change, and unlocking human potential. A Navy veteran, senior executive, and CEO turned thought leader, John's journey bridges the worlds of Fortune 50 leadership, entrepreneurial innovation, and personal transformation.

As a former senior executive at Dell and Lowe's, John spearheaded transformational initiatives in leadership development, technology, and culture, impacting millions of employees and customers worldwide.

His C-level expertise uniquely positions him to speak directly to the challenges and opportunities faced by leaders navigating today's fast-changing landscape.

John is the creator and host of the award-winning Passion Struck Podcast, which has surpassed 55 million downloads and was named the #1 Alternative Health Podcast in over 70 countries. Recognized with the Davey Award for Social Impact, the podcast inspires a global audience of CEOs, entrepreneurs, and changemakers with its actionable insights and bold ideas.

As the best-selling author of Passion Struck: Twelve Powerful Principles to Unlock Your Purpose and Ignite Your Most Intentional Life, John offers a groundbreaking guide for leaders and individuals to bridge the gap between potential and action. Drawing on decades of leadership experience and deep research into behavioral science, he provides practical strategies to achieve clarity, purpose, and transformational results.

Each week on Passion Struck, John engages with the world's most influential thinkers and leaders, including Gary Vaynerchuk, Susan Cain, Dr. BJ Fogg, Jamie Kern Lima, Gretchen Rubin, Admiral Stavridis, and Dr. Mark Hyman.

John's mission is to empower leaders to cultivate thriving cultures, inspire their teams, and lead with purpose!

Key Points

• The shift from village to global village

• Significance: The essence of existence

• The epidemic of disconnection in society

• Gardner leadership versus servant leadership

• Reinvention: Key to passion-struck living

Best Quotes

03:57 - 04:09

• "It's this profound sense that your life and your existence have purpose, that your actions hold weight, and that one's presence makes a meaningful difference in the world."

16:08 - 16:24

• "It was this opposite that I talk about with mattering. It was this, this i, this individualistic look at it that look at what I can build, look at how I can do something, look at what I control."

23:19 - 23:29

• "So to me, what this culture of mattering really comes down to is creating this environment where others feel valued, trusted, and empowered to excel."

30:45 - 30:59

• "LinkedIn did this survey in 2022, and they said they found that 94% of employees would've stayed longer at a company if they invested more in a person's development in and outside of work."

33:29 - 33:35

• "One of the things that I highlight early on in the book is the need for reinvention."

35:00 - 35:05

• "Passion struck really is all about how do you le lead a life of significance."

42:21 - 42:29

• "Because when you feel, when you make people feel valued, you create a ripple effect that strengthens families, workplaces, and communities."

In this week's episode, I am joined by Dr. Rachel Glik!

Dr. Glik is a licensed professional counselor with 30+ years as a couples and individual therapist in private practice.

Since 2014, she has been a regular feature on the Fox 2 AM show in St. Louis as a relationship and mental health expert. The show's executive producer summed up her role on the show this way, "Dr. Glik gets to the heart of what we deal with every day—our relationship with ourselves and each other."

Rachel is a featured author for MindBodyGreen, an online magazine reaching over 10 million readers each month.

Rachel has taught and created workshops for organizations such as: YPO, Onevillage, University of Missouri, The Kabbalah Centre International, and Psychotherapy Saint Louis.

She is a featured guest of podcasts such as Weekly Energy Boost and SageAdvice with Melissa.

As many are goal setting for the new year, couples therapist Dr. Rachel Glik (EdD, LPC) encourages us to think beyond our personal goals to shared relationships as well.

Whether you are looking to expand an already strong connection or heal old wounds that stay persistently fresh, Dr. Glik draws from over 30 years of hands-on experience to discuss the proven techniques for growth in her upcoming book, A SOULFUL MARRIAGE: Healing Your Relationship With Responsibility, Growth, Priority, and Purpose (Morehouse Publishing) February 4th, 2025.

Key Points

- Importance of energy investment in relationships

- The four pillars of a successful marriage

- Significance of prioritizing your partner

- Embracing the dynamic nature of family life

- Finding purpose in your relationship journey

Best Quotes 02:23 - 02:27

• "I had to start really reflecting within and being more authentic and true to myself."

03:01 - 03:09

• "The soul searching is really where the life model for me came from. And it came from the fact that life is always imbalanced."

33:00 - 33:07

• "And really trusting the process that whatever challenge is happening, it's for the good, it's for the benefit to really embrace it so that you can grow."

36:42 - 36:46

• "To be happy, we have to also sometimes go against what we feel like doing."

39:19 - 39:27

• "But you started out by saying, you know, I'm the writer and I'm the therapist, but my husband was the spine as we pulled this project together."

In this episode of The High Performance Life podcast, I sit down with Stephan Kesting—firefighter, adventurer, martial artist, and author—to explore his life-changing battle with kidney disease and the incredible journey of survival and self-discovery that followed.

Stephan has spent over 40 years traversing the Canadian North, both solo and as a guide. A Masters graduate in biology from McGill University, he combines his deep appreciation for nature with his extensive experience in high-risk environments, including 25 years as a firefighter, where he was awarded the Canadian National Medal for Bravery.

When faced with the physical and mental challenges of a kidney transplant, Stephan knew he had to push past his limits. To reclaim his strength, he embarked on a six-week solo expedition in the unforgiving Canadian sub-arctic, navigating polar bears, arctic storms, forest fires, and treacherous rapids—all while battling self-doubt and the ever-present risk of a single fatal mistake.

We dive into his new book, Perseverance, and unpack the themes of resilience, risk-taking, and how nature serves as a powerful tool for healing and self-reflection. Whether you're looking for inspiration, a new perspective on overcoming adversity, or a deeper appreciation for the wilderness, this conversation is packed with insights you won't want to miss.

- Pushing past physical and mental limits creates true resilience. - The wilderness offers clarity, healing, and a unique space for introspection. - In both adventure and life, risk can be managed through planning and adaptability. - Taking action in the face of fear leads to growth. - Self-doubt is a constant battle - Legacy is about how you live, not what you leave behind. True impact comes from the way you face life's challenges.