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If you’ve been questioning everything lately … your business, career, money, or direction… because you feel overwhelmed, uncertain, or emotionally rattled… this episode is for you.
In Episode 326 of The Inner Work Conversation, I talk about something I see constantly (in myself and in the people I work with):
Trying to action away uncomfortable feelings.
This is a short, honest listen about emotional dysregulation, fear-based decisions, and how to stop making big moves just to escape how you feel.
If you’ve ever thought:
* “I need to fix this NOW.”
* “I can’t cope with this feeling. I must do something.”
…this episode is for you
The pattern
You feel something uncomfortable:
Fear.Pressure.Uncertainty.Overwhelm.
And almost immediately your system goes:
I need to do something. NOW.
So you start:
* comparing your offers / CV / website
* redoing your strategy (again)
* questioning your direction… your future… your LIFE
You reshuffle. Reorganise. Make big decisions. Burn things down.
Not from clarity.From dysregulation. From trying to escape how you feel.
As I say in the episode: none of this action comes from strategy – it comes from trying to escape the inner experience.
That’s the real pattern.
Fear-based decisions feel different
They usually feel:
Urgent.Mentally loud.Heavy.Rushed.Pressured.
With thoughts like:
“I just need to fix / figure this out right now…”
That’s not intuition.That’s your nervous system in distress.
One of the biggest reminders I share:
Feeling unsafe does not mean something needs to be fixed (right now).
Grounded decisions don’t come from panic
They feel quieter.They don’t arrive with chaos.
They come after you’ve allowed yourself to feel what you’re feeling instead of trying to action it away.
Your inner dialogue starts to sound more like:
“I don’t need to solve this today.”“I’ve handled hard things before.”“I don’t need to dismantle everything right now.”
Getting yourself to that place?That’s self-leadership.
Here’s the rule I now live by:
I act when I’m calm.
I don’t make big decisions when I feel overwhelmed, scared, or desperate for certainty.
Because the thing you’re obsessing over is rarely the real problem.
Usually, it’s how you feel that needs tending to - not the external situation.
A few lines from the episode
“Please stop trying to action away your inner experience. Because when you do that, you are not making good decisions on behalf of yourself.” (05:21)
“The situation hasn’t changed. It’s just suddenly urgent because now I’m uncomfortable – and my nervous system wants out.” (08:19)
“I’ve learnt to recognise when I’m in that place because it feels like I’m scratching around to find a decision, not receiving one – forcing one.” (07:56)
“Although it feels like the end of the world if I don’t fix it right now, I’ve learnt I don’t need to solve this today. I’ve handled hard things before.” (10:29)
If you’ve been in “I must do something” mode lately, this episode might be exactly what helps you slow down, reconnect with yourself, and make decisions from clarity instead of fear.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nikkicross.substack.com
