The Innovative Therapist

Episode 76. Have you ever thought...

Why can't I stop emotional eating? Happy, sad, anxious, bored... eating is my go to! Why can't I just cope with my emotions without food like "normal people"! Or,Why can't I have a little more self-control and break out of the cycle?

Well today we are going to answer all of those questions, but also I will address questions you may not know to ask, such as...

What does emotional eating have to do with fear of death?How does diet culture influence my beliefs about my health and how does that influence my eating habits and keep the emotional eating cycle (aka the diet-binge cycle) going? What can I do to make sure I'm actually using my time on earth well and not wasting it on ineffective dieting, covering my emotions with food, and/or being too afraid to pursue what I really want?

Ready to Break the Emotional Eating Cycle?

Ready to stop avoiding and break the emotional eating cycle for good?

The first step is to disrupt the cycle.

If you want some practical ideas for things today besides the standard diet culture BS advice (take a walk, have some water!) then grab my free practical guide today!

Anxiety, Fear of Death, & Diet Culture

I'll tell you a story about a client named Trish (not a real name or client, but similar to many clients I've worked with over the years).

Trish came to me in distress. She was binge eating most days and had gained around 40 lbs over the past year. Prior to that, she had been on every diet under the sun. Her Weight Watcher group leaders knew her by name.

She was referred to me by her doctor who told her that since her father died of a heart attack at age 45, she is at risk. Trish was 34 when she came to see me, and she was scared. She felt scared of having a heart attack, but also really upset and embarrassed to have people see that she gained weight.

She worked as a teacher and often tried to dress in dark colors and clothes that would hide her weight gain and she felt uncomfortable in her body every day.

Let's Talk Anxiety, Health, and Body Image

For next week's episode, I sat down with my friend and colleague Dr. Julia King, a fellow psychologist who specializes in anxiety, body image and disordered eating.

We cover a lot in this conversation including:

How your anxiety is keeping you stuck in a cycle of body image concerns and disordered eatingThe book that totally changed Dr. King and my life, and how you can feel more empowered than ever with how your spend your timeFirst steps to jump out of the emotional eating cycle and address what's really bothering youAnd much more!

This week, I'm going to break down some of the concepts we will discuss next week in greater detail so you will be fully ready to absorb the messages and run with it to create a more empowered relationship to food and your body.

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of fear, dread, uneasiness and is created by a perception of threat." - Dr. Julia King, Psychologist and Anxiety Expert

There is a cycle that exists between our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

For example, we often have:

Thoughts and Beliefs about ourselves (e.g., "I'm not good enough at this weight" for example), that impact ourEmotions (e.g., fear, anxiety related to health-related fears and/or fears related to not being accepted socially), and these affect ourBehavior (e.g., avoiding social gatherings, not posting pictures of ourselves or hiding in pictures, emotional eating or going on a restrictive diet)

Thought - Feeling- Behavior Cycle for anxiety using a weight-related example

Anxiety and Fear Keep Us Stuck

Anxiety and fears back in the day when we were running from lions was helpful.

You see a lion, run away from it, and hopefully escape to safety.

The fear goes away. You are safe. Life is good.

Now, anxiety and fears often keep us stuck, immobilized. Not taking action towards a life we deeply desire and instead taking actions that keep us in the fear-avoidance cycle.

Anxiety keeps us stuck in:

Restrictive dieting cycles... which tend to lead to weight gain over timePatterns of avoidance, like not posting pictures or not going to social gatherings and missing out on opportunities to build meaningful connections (which has the potential to help us feel more worthy and reduce anxiety)Emotional eating cycles (aka the binge-diet cycle) where we feel out of control and more and more convinced there must be something wrong with us

What perceived threat are you avoiding?

For Trish, the immediate threat that prompted her to come see me is her doctor telling her that she is at risk for heart disease and that he is concerned about her recent weight gain.

The more we talked, we realized that although she thinks she "should" care about her health risks like having a heart attack, even more upsetting to her is the fact that since she gained weight, she is too self conscious to go out on dates.

Trish really wants a family and is scared of not finding someone. However, the fear of rejection and judgment about her body size is keeping her stuck. She tells herself that she isn't ready to be in a relationship when she feels so ashamed of herself and her body.

In the past year Trish has done most of the major weight loss plans. She tried Noom, Weight Watchers for what may have been the 10th time (who can keep track anymore?), and even went to an Overeater's Anonymous meeting. But quickly, she found herself in the cupboard eating peanut butter and so ashamed of herself.

Threats, Fears, and Worries that Keep the Emotional Eating Cycle Going

Unfortunately, there are many things to fear or have anxiety about these days.

However, much of the things our brains perceive as threats, are not actual threats to our safety. They are just false alarms. Stories we tell ourselves. And it's important to learn what is a threat and true danger, and what is not.

And there are many societal messages that we take as truth, that further increase the fear.

Diet Culture Myths that Increase Fear

Myth #1. "Thinner is better"

We are bombarded all the time with messages that support the idea that thinner is better, healthier, and more socially desirable.

Although there is some subtle positive shifts in this (we see a handful of diverse bodies on television and in movies now whereas 20 years ago we rarely did), we still have a long way to go.

The reality is, if your body doesn't conform exactly to society's standards of what is "good" (often we are told thinner is "healthy", but see Myth below), then you are set up to feel like you are not good enough, failing in some way.

Because we view body size as a choice, versus a genetic and biological reality, you are also told that not only are you not good enough if you aren't thin, but that its your fault if you can't lose weight. You clearly just need to "work harder."

Myth #2. "It's really just about being healthy"

The good news is, it isn't quite as socially acceptable to outwardly shame people for their weight.

The bad news? Diet Culture has found a way around this: The Health Argument.

Just like we are bombarded with messages left and right that thinner is better and more desirable, we are also told that thinner is healthier, when the fact is that just simply isn't true (one example study here, though there are many).

"But I know I'm not healthy at this weight, Shawn."

You may be reading this and thinking "okay, I know there are a variety of body sizes that can be healthy, Shawn, however, I know I'm not healthy right now, Shawn."

That is, you may have a deep sense that you are not at your best health right now. And this might really scare you.

And depending on your situation, this may be true. It's possible you aren't at your best health right now. It's even likely if you have been caught in the chronic dieting cycle for years. It puts a ton of stress on the body physically and emotionally and you might be quite run down and feeling unwell.

Enter... Diet Culture and the Weight Loss Industry

So you keep trying new weight loss programs (there's always new ones coming out, some of them even claim to have psychology infused in them... sigh) and you hold on to small amounts of hope that maybe this time a program will work long term.

And maybe it could, if we help you to understand what's at the root of the issue.

Diet Culture Capitalizes on Your Fears

The diet and weight loss industry is a massively profitable industry. Americans spend more than $40 billion dollars a year on dieting and diet-related products.

And yet, answering yes to the question "are you currently on a diet to lose weight?" is a really good predictor of future weight gain.

The reality is, most systems including the weight loss industry and even the medical system are not set up to help you succeed. They set you up for failure.

The Fear and Avoidance Cycle Just Doesn't Work

When we make changes to our eating and exercise habits from a place of fear, feelings of un-worthiness, it's simply a short term way to avoid the pain and that just wont work long-term.

Additionally, there are biological realities to where your body weight is going to want to be based on your genetics, your weight history, sleep and other habits, many of which is out of your control.

So If I Don't Focus On Dieting, What Do I Do?

So if dieting and focus on weight loss is avoidance 99% of the time, what do we do instead? What should you be spending your precious time on if it isn't a new weight loss program?

Fear, Anxiety and Time Management

Fear and avoidance can almost always be related to anxiety related to the fact that we are all aware of at some level, that we only have a limited time in this one precious life.

We want to spend this time well. And we worry that we wont. That we will fail, have regrets about what we did, or more often,...

Episode 75. Hello my dear listeners and readers. I'm typically honest on this podcast and blog, but this time I'm going to break it down and be super honest. Despite being VERY intentional and trying everything I could try to not buy into hustle culture in my business, I fell into the trap. At times, I have pushed myself and my team too hard and ultimately this led to less quality work and some degree of failure.

I've thought a lot about this over the past few months. Including, but not limited to:

How diet culture and hustle culture overlap, How failure truly can be a good thing,How you can learn from my experiences and regrets

What To Expect in This Episode:

I will cover:

Some of the personal lessons I've learned about "Hustle Culture" in the past few monthsHow Hustle Culture and Diet Culture are related and how they impact our motivationMy early reflections on the reality of being a woman in our culture and how this impacts our relationship to food and ourselvesAbout how my mind and body are telling me I must slow down, and how I'm learning to truly listen (even when in many ways it would be easier to keep hustling)What you can expect from me and the Motivation Made Easy podcast and blog moving forward (what the heck I mean by intuitive podcasting, lol)Some teasers for the upcoming topics on the podcastHow you can stay in touch with me!

Hustle Culture & Me

Even when we try SO DARN HARD, sometimes we can't escape it.

Despite doing a business training for 12 months all about "working smarter, not harder" and truly giving it my all, I didn't quite create what I'd wanted to create.

I wanted to create a team who was invigorated and enthusiastic about the work. Who was intrinsically motivated, where it didn't really feel like "work." I certainly accomplished some of our objectives, but something was off. As the owner and CEO, I must look at myself first.

"You Have to Be Consistent."

For 75 episodes, I've come out with a podcast and corresponding blog post every single week.

I heard over and over from online marketers, "consistency is key"!

I also heard that "If you stop creating consistent content, you will lose your listeners.

I also heard messages like,

“Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game one foot from a winning touchdown.”

I feared (and still fear a bit) that if I slow down, I'll lose momentum somehow. I'll lose you my dear listeners. You will be swept away by some other podcast that does come out with weekly episodes NO MATTER WHAT and I'll be lost to you in the abyss of the internet.

"I Don't Want to Lose What I've Gained" - "Shoulds" and Online Marketing

Have you ever heard of the idea of "sunk cost"?

It's definition is:

The phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial.

It makes sense in many ways that once we've worked really hard at something, we don't want to let it go. Abandon the effort. This can apply to relationships ("But I've invested SO much time in this already, we have so much history I don't want to start over."), education ("But I'm already 1/2 way through my degree program, I should just finish"), or work ("I've been in this career for so long, I can't start over").

When Pressure for Consistency Becomes Counterproductive

The question we really need to ask is, when are we "being consistent" and aligned with our values, and when are we creating more harm than good by following our routines?

When are we being fickle and flimsy on what matters to us, and when are we staying true to the best way to be for ourselves?

The reality is, as I often say, only the person in the body knows.

Only I could (can) decide if weekly episodes were still doable. I was SO hesitant to let them go. I was and am so proud of our weekly content. And the growth of the podcast.

AND, I really like to think deeply about things and make sure the content I'm creating is really useful to you. I want to make sure it's accurate. Quality. And answers the questions and provides the support and inspiration you actually need.

And to do that, I need more space to think critically, listen to you, and craft episodes that truly meet your needs. There are a lot of incredible intuitive eating and weight inclusive podcasts out there. And while I think they are truly needed and wonderful, I'm truly to create something slightly different. Something that aims to give you the most accurate information possible, with as little bias as possible. Something that truly supports your autonomous motivation, but reminding you that while I don't have all the answers for you and what you should do, and I never will, I will continue to strive to bring you the most accurate and up to date information to guide you on that next step in your journey.

How Moving Away from Hustle Culture Relates to Moving Away from Diet Culture

I can't help but see the parallels between the ways I'm approaching business and the way many of us approach our bodies. So often, we get so caught up in changing our weight or body size, and we stress about "don't the wrong things" as it relates to how we eat and how we move.

We lack trust in ourselves to "figure it out" so we default to expert opinions only, without evaluating or asking "how does this actually feel for me?"

There are MANY things I was told to do from a marketing standpoint that truly felt off to me. I was told to regularly show up live on social media, or regularly post on social media. Very quickly, I determined that I just wasn't going to do that.

Additionally, having staunch deadlines for joining my program is another thing I've done, that hasn't always felt quite right either. But I was taught "that's the way you have to do it to get people to buy" so at times, I listened.

We are often told so many things about what the "right" way to eat and move out bodies are, how much to eat, how much to exercise, etc. But there isn't a right way to eat and move that works for all. Just like there isn't a right way to have a business or market that business.

How This Relates to How You Incorporate Health Advice

“Intuition is not a single way of knowing - it's our ability to hold space for uncertainty and our willingness to trust the many ways we've developed knowledge and insight, including instinct, experience, faithand reason.” - Brene Brown

Let's say you listened to one of my episodes where we talked about plant-based eating, like the great conversation I had with Dr. Yami of the Veggie Doctor radio here.

You might hear how Dr. Yami was able to transition fairly quickly from chronic dieting and binge eating to plant-based eating and hear how happy she feels and may think "I should do that!"

But stop, take a breath, and ask yourself, does that truly make sense for me? Is this a good time to do that in my life? Do I need do it 80% to feel good about it? What about 10%?

Is my nutrition really what I need to focus on right now? Or should I focus on finding a great therapist to address my anxiety and stress? Or should I focus on implementing new routines to improve my sleep?

Just slow down, create stillness, and ask questions. Ideally, pull out a blank piece of paper.

Failure is inevitable, at Times

No matter how intuitive we are, no matter how much we try to incorporate the advice of experts and make it our own, for various reasons, we will fail. Perhaps we will fail because the right option for others was never the right option for us. Other times we will fail because the system sets us up for failure (cough - diet culture).

But again, we have to look at the systems we are using and others. Are they getting success? And even if they are, how are they different from us? Do they have more support? More privileges than us?

It's easy with business to compare yourself to others, and yet, sometimes others have been in business for years. Or they can afford paid help with things like marketing, for example.

When you compare yourself to your friends who might appear to "have it more together" than you (with weight, health, or anything), are you considering the differences between you and them? Biological ones? Social support differences? We need to factor this in.

The Impact of Being a Woman

The other reality that I've been coming up against lately is something I don't talk about all that much.

I sometimes will talk about how woman get more pressure to shape their body in a certain way than men, though no one is immune from diet culture of course.

But the other factor in all of this is that the vast majority of the time, women are still "head of the household." As a new business owner, I've observed how my role as CEO in my business (most major decisions fall to me) is similar to my role in our home. And decision making is one of the most taxing tasks we can do.

So while we can work to change systems, outside of our home, and inside, the reality is we are still working within a system where women did not have equal rights, are still paid less when employed and get less funding for their businesses and these factors do in fact still work against us silently.

What to Expect from Motivation Made Easy!

Alright, so given all of this, what can you expect from the podcast?

I'm so glad you asked.

So, I'm going to try to do some "intuitive podcasting" haha. Which essentially means, I'm going to slow down, focus on creating great content for you, and continue to get your input on what you want and need to hear.

After this episode, we will take off several weeks over the summer. So this episode will come out June 13th, and then we will definitely take July off, likely some of August,...

Episode 74. Today I am so excited to be speaking to Atheana Brown, RD, on an incredibly important topic area. Parenting, eating, and bodies -- all things that can bring up pain, struggle, and shame for so many of us.

We are going to be covering all things related to raising kids as an intuitive eater, particularly if you are struggling with un-learning diet culture messages and trying to learn intuitive eating yourself. I learned a ton, and am definitely going to make some shifts based on our conversation. I think you are really going to like the conversation so lets dive in!

What To Expect in This Interview:

We cover the following topics:

A really nice definition of what intuitive eating is (that even I needed to be reminded of, even after all this time doing this work)Some of the many challenges with trying to raise an intuitive eater in our societyWhat Atheana wants someone to know if they fear that they have taught their children bad habits or it's "too late" to change their child's relationship to food or their bodyHow learning or re-learning intuitive eating is different based on age and some recommendations based on thisHow Ellyn Satter's work around Division of Responsibility can help reduce food related power struggles with your kidsSome great wording suggestions and questions you can ask your kids to help promote an intuitive eating process with food (beyond just "are you full?" which can be hard for kids to answer sometimes)Some key takeaways about these topics (including a statement about food that was very impactful to me)

And much more!

Make Healthy Living Easy

Have you ever thought... "I just need more willpower." or "If I only had more self-control."

Actually, that is rarely the problem.

One of the first steps to develop sustainable healthy habits is to learn to make healthy living easier, so we can use LESS willpower. Sound good?

Download this free guide for 5 science-backed simple strategies to use less willpower today!

Grab this free guide today for 5 science-based simple strategies to use less willpower today! Let's start setting yourself up for success and regaining confidence in yourself. 

Support Independent Bookstores Near You!

Did you know that that if nothing slows their momentum, Amazon will have almost 80% of the book market by the end of 2025?

Look, I love the convenience of Amazon, but I’ve got a super cool way that you can support local bookstores and my blog and podcast simply by buying books like you already do! You can choose any bookstore on the list in the US and Canada (they plan to expand to other counties in the future) OR you can just let the donation get split between all stores. As of this recording, they have raised 15 million dollars for local bookstores. On my bookshop, you will see my absolute favorite books related to health and wellness, courage and vulnerability, and even my favorite fiction and kids books!

My recent favorite related to improving the quality of our lives was Digital Minimalism. Our family actually has decided to do an optional screen free August to re-evaluate the role of screen time in our lives.

So if you believe in supporting local businesses, please consider buying your books through Bookshop from now on!

The Psychology of Wellness Bookshop Link.

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider patient relationship.Disclosure: Using the Bookshop.org links in this post means that I would get an affiliate fee if you purchase from the online bookshop (this supports my business, and local bookstores too!).Credit: This blog post was written by Dr. Shawn Hondorp and edited by Julia Ledbetter.

Episode 73. For this episode, I had the opportunity to speak with Julie Satterfeal, MS, RD. We had a great conversation around common questions I get around how to incorporate nutritious eating within a non-diet (i.e., non-weight focused framework).

What To Expect in This Interview:

We cover the following topics:

How Julie's noticing of her own thin privilege impacted the messages she got about food growing up and her desire to go into this career pathThe fact that she she graduated college the year that Intuitive Eating was first published, and how that has impacted thingsWhere she's see the field change, and where she hasn'tWhy the health promoting behaviors to focus on may be simpler than you think, and what Julie works on with her clients most oftenAnd much more!

We also answer the following questions:

"I’m working on my relationship with food and I really feel good about the progress, but I just saw my doctor and we talked about my heart disease risk and I truly really want to lose weight still. How can I focus on improving my habits and weight loss without messing up the work I’ve done on my relationship with food?”"Why is the over focus on calories so unhelpful?" "If I don't focus on calories or weight, what should I focus on?"

Make Healthy Living Easy

Have you ever thought... "I just need more willpower." or "If I only had more self-control."

Actually, that is rarely the problem.

One of the first steps to develop sustainable healthy habits is to learn to make healthy living easier, so we can use LESS willpower. Sound good?

Download this free guide for 5 science-backed simple strategies to use less willpower today!

Grab this free guide today for 5 science-based simple strategies to use less willpower today! Let's start setting yourself up for success and regaining confidence in yourself. 

Support Independent Bookstores Near You!

Did you know that that if nothing slows their momentum, Amazon will have almost 80% of the book market by the end of 2025?

Look, I love the convenience of Amazon, but I’ve got a super cool way that you can support local bookstores and my blog and podcast simply by buying books like you already do! You can choose any bookstore on the list in the US and Canada (they plan to expand to other counties in the future) OR you can just let the donation get split between all stores. As of this recording, they have raised 15 million dollars for local bookstores. On my bookshop, you will see my absolute favorite books related to health and wellness, courage and vulnerability, and even my favorite fiction and kids books!

My recent favorite related to improving the quality of our lives was Digital Minimalism. Our family actually has decided to do an optional screen free August to re-evaluate the role of screen time in our lives.

So if you believe in supporting local businesses, please consider buying your books through Bookshop from now on!

The Psychology of Wellness Bookshop Link.

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider patient relationship.

Disclosure: Using the Bookshop.org links in this post means that I would get an affiliate fee if you purchase from the online bookshop (this supports my business, and local bookstores too!).

Credit: This blog post was written by Dr. Shawn Hondorp and edited by Caitlyn Galvin.

Episode 72. I've said it before and I will say it again, I am often profoundly changed by the impact of the conversations I have on this podcast. I still remember quotes and concepts from people I interviewed a year ago, and I still sometimes re-listen to the conversations to remind myself of the lessons I learned from them.

This conversation with Dalia Kinsey, RD, LD, was extra special though. And I'm actually having a hard time putting into words why exactly that is. I think part of it is Dalia's presence, and the generosity and vulnerability that is shared, including the process from behind the scenes of this week's. Beyond that, however, Dalia's compassion for others, myself included, who have very much missed the mark with wellness, health, and lack of diversity in related fields, made this conversation all the more meaningful.

Inviting Dalia on the podcast was important to me because I truly believe that moving towards true wellness and health means we must un-learn a lot of what we have been taught. Not only about what is healthy from a weight-centric model, but so much of what we have been taught about race, sexuality, and generally how so many of our systems, educational models, and structures are set up to serve white people, not persons of marginalized backgrounds.

I'll admit: I have total imposter syndrome when I talk about or write about topics related to diversity. I'm afraid I'll mess things up, like say the wrong things or offending someone (my deepest fear). But I know deep down it's a privilege to be able to choose to learn about and talk about these topics or not, and I am working on continuing to choose the (typically mild) discomfort, so I can continue to learn and grow.

I hope you will listen in on this conversation and hear the incredible gift that Dalia has given to the world by sharing this book with the world. I truly believe what I said, that I think this book truly benefits anyone who wants to learn about wellness and inclusion as an individual or as a healthcare provider.

I hope wherever you are in your journey of learning about diversity and where we in the US and other countries have greatly missed the mark, that you will remain open, curious, and humble and continue to be open to learning more. And remember that (as I often have to remind myself) you don't need to know it all, you just need to ask question and listen. There's so much value to be gained from learning about the amazingly diverse experiences of humans and I'm incredibly grateful that Dalia shared with us via Decolonizing Wellness, but also that I was able to have this incredible conversation as well.

What To Expect in This Interview:

We cover the following topics:

How Dalia came to doing this work, and the courage it took for Dalia to write Decolonizing Wellness, and the incredibly vulnerable process of doing soSome examples of the many ways that health and wellness spaces miss the mark when it comes to persons of diverse and/or marginalized identitiesWhat Dalia means by "When you queer anything it becomes more inclusive" (and why I've never been more convinced of this after talking to Dalia and reading Decolonizing Wellness)What Dalia wishes more people understood about these topicsAnd much more!

Who is Dalia Kinsey, RD, LD?

Dalia Kinsey is a queer Black Registered Dietitian, keynote speaker, the creator of the Body Liberation for All podcast, and author of Decolonizing Wellness: A QTBIPOC-Centered Guide to Escape the Diet Trap, Heal Your Self-Image, and Achieve Body Liberation. On a mission to spread joy, reduce suffering, and eliminate health disparities in the LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC community, Dalia rejects diet culture and teaches people to use nutrition as a self-care and personal empowerment tool to counter the damage of systemic oppression. Dalia works at the intersection of holistic wellness and social justice, continually creating wellness tools and resources that center the most vulnerable — individuals that hold multiple marginalized identities. Dalia’s work can be found at https://www.daliakinsey.com/ or on Substack, LinkedIn, or Facebook.

Make Healthy Living Easy

Have you ever thought... "I just need more willpower." or "If I only had more self-control."

Actually, that is rarely the problem.

One of the first steps to develop sustainable healthy habits is to learn to make healthy living easier, so we can use LESS willpower. Sound good?

Download this free guide for 5 science-backed simple strategies to use less willpower today!

Grab this free guide today for 5 science-based simple strategies to use less willpower today! Let's start setting yourself up for success and regaining confidence in yourself. 

Support Independent Bookstores Near You!

Did you know that that if nothing slows their momentum, Amazon will have almost 80% of the book market by the end of 2025?

Look, I love the convenience of Amazon, but I’ve got a super cool way that you can support local bookstores and my blog and podcast simply by buying books like you already do! You can choose any bookstore on the list in the US and Canada (they plan to expand to other counties in the future) OR you can just let the donation get split between all stores. As of this recording, they have raised 15 million dollars for local bookstores. On my bookshop, you will see my absolute favorite books related to health and wellness, courage and vulnerability, and even my favorite fiction and kids books!

My recent favorite related to improving the quality of our lives was Digital Minimalism. Our family actually has decided to do an optional screen free August to re-evaluate the role of screen time in our lives.

So if you believe in supporting local businesses, please consider buying your books through Bookshop from now on!

The Psychology of Wellness Bookshop Link.

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider patient relationship.

Disclosure: Using the Bookshop.org links in this post means that I would get an affiliate fee if you purchase from the online bookshop (this supports my business, and local bookstores too!).

Credit: This blog post was co-written and edited by Caitlyn Galvin and Dr. Shawn Hondorp.

Episode 71. What does March Madness have to teach us about our relationship to food and our eating habits? In this episode of the Motivation Made Easy podcast you will find out!

What to Expect In This Episode

What watching March Madness basketball teaches us about motivationHow we can understand the role of diet culture, pressure and body shame on our eating habits by looking at other experiences of pressure and expectationsHow to reduce excessive pressure to improve internal motivation for the changes you want to make in your lifeA fun fact about a basketball players eating habits

Do you ever worry that you are wasting your life?

I definitely did. In fact, I wrote that in my journal many years ago when I was in the middle of the diet-binge roller coaster ride.

I woke up every day thinking about food, my body, and what I would eat that day to “be healthy”The notebooks I had filled with calories and points could fill up a spare bedroomSocial events and vacations immediately prompted the thought “they will notice I gained weight” or “I need to lose weight by then”Deep down I knew I wasn’t living life the way I wanted to, but I didn’t know how to pull myself out of it.

If this is you, I want you to imagine what it would feel like to feel empowered in your body and proud of your choices on a consistent basis. I promise you, it isn’t too late.

Dieting steals our motivation. It makes us ineffective. It keeps us spinning our wheels in a system that was never built to work.

If you are ready take the first step to motivating yourself with what matters to you, download my free Create Powerful Motivation guide (which is quite beautifully designed if I do say so myself), and walk through the 3 simple steps to create motivation that works for YOU in 15 minutes or less. You will get a simple formula to write ONE SENTENCE you can use to motivate yourself on a daily basis.

You can write it on your bathroom mirror, put on the background of your phone, or just read it and repeat it in your mind.

Look, I know how much it hurts to live a life worrying you are missing out, not stepping into the person you were truly meant to be, vibrant, passionate, curious, vulnerable, and brave.

You can listen to the podcast all day, but taking that first step, putting pen the paper (or typing on your phone) is required for true lasing change. It’s time to start living my friend.

It’s 100% free, so what are you waiting for? Grab your free copy of the guide today at DrHondorp.com/Motivate 

March Madness, Sandwiches, and Internal Motivation

He looked so incredibly happy, relaxed, and confident. The dude was clearly having the time of his life.

Who am I talking about?

Doug Edert, guard on Saint Peter's University basketball team, of course.

You may or may not know who he is. But prior to this March Madness tournament, I'm almost sure you didn't.

Doug is on the Saint Peter's University basketball team. A team that recently became the first 15 seed to reach the Elite 8.

In the games I watched, Doug looked happy and incredibly relaxed. He appeared to be having fun, and simply enjoying the challenge and the opportunity.

The Freedom of Low Expectations

St. Peter's had already accomplished so much by making the tournament. They had only made it once before in school history, back in 2011.

St. Peter's is a private Jesuit university located in Jersey City, New Jersey. The school has 2,637 students.

The Pressure of High Expectations

For comparison, the University of Kentucky, who lost to Saint Peter's in the first round as a 2-seed (and one of the top favorites to win the entire tournament) has an enrollment of 22,227.

As the game went on, and it became clear that Saint Peter's very well may win this thing, you see the Kentucky players getting more tense, less relaxed. Certainly not having fun.

When Doug Edert and Saint Peter's went on to continue to the next game, they continued to look relaxed. Again, they had already so greatly surpassed expectations, they could just enjoy themselves.

The Impact of Expectations and Pressure on Motivation and Eating

Let's talk about what NCAA basketball can teach us about eating and weight loss motivation by talking about how pressure and expectations affects motivation.

Many times, like the case above, pressure and expectations impairs our ability to enjoy the moment, enjoy the journey of life if you will. This is particularly true when things aren't going our way (e.g., when you are in a chronic dieting cycle). It is associated with stress, and if chronic, can lead to anxiety, depression, burnout, and many other unwanted consequences.

The Impact of High Expectations

Sometimes, we can rise to the occasion under pressure. However, other times, pressure makes us stressed and feel less effective (e.g., Kentucky misses a few shots) and have a harder time playing our game.

So How Does This Impact Our Eating & Exercise Habits?

If you've been hanging with me for a bit, you've seen this image. It reminds us that it isn't "amount of motivation" that matters, but instead the type of motivation that counts.

Slide showing types of motivation you could have for eating a salad for lunch, ranging from stress, guilt, diet mentality ("I have to lose weight" "this is within my calories") and due to free choice, and feeling in control (e.g, "this is the best choice for my goals and my life." or "I enjoy salads and feel best eating this way.").

Internal Motivation Versus Pressure to Have a Salad

The example we use here is having a salad for lunch, but any habit could go here.

When we are living in guilt and diet mentality mindset, it's easy for having a salad to become a "should" a "chore." And although we might be able to do it for a while because of this expectation we put on ourselves (driven much of the time by society's expectation of having a smaller body), we are much less likely to develop an intrinsic motivation for this.

You may or may not ever have intrinsic motivation to have a salad. That may just not sound good to you no matter what pressure you internalize (e.g., thinking you should have it, it's the "healthy choice"). But that isn't really the point.

It's the fact that many people (myself included and people I work with) have a hard time figuring out what the heck they actually like, because of all the "shoulds" and rules. And they certainly have a hard time enjoying the journey of listening to their body, it's signals, and their own unique preferences.

How Expectations Impact Movement & Exercise

Now let's take a look at how pressure and expectations might impact motivation for exercise.

I want you to consider for a moment two women walking into an exercise class.

They both enjoy learning new things and they have tried a yoga class at home and found it nice, but wanted to come to a class to get further guidance on how to do the poses.

Autumn is in a smaller body. She looks up the studio online and sees images of other women who look just like her. She comes to class and sees an instructor with a similar body to her, and many of the women in the class also have a similar body type to her.

Although she's new to yoga, she is able to relax and enjoy the process of learning. Taking instruction as feedback, enjoying the process. She starts coming back regularly.

Now let's look at Jessica. Jessica is in a larger body. She has re-gained weight after losing around 80 lbs with medical weight loss, but then this weight returned (as it almost always does) and she is feeling uncomfortable in her body and ashamed.

She looks up on the class on the website and sees women's bodies who don't look like her. She is reminded that she isn't really meeting the yoga body expectation.

She is anxious about coming to class, and anxious throughout the class. She is thinking about how her body looks in the poses and having a hard time focusing on the actual function of her body and the pose, making the learning process less enjoyable.

Reduce the Pressure to Allow Your Personalized Healthy Habits to Take Root

So how can we take the pressure off of us when it comes to eating and enjoying the process of learning to nourish our bodies??

Well first lets look at the things that cause pressure:

Social expectations and messages about what bodies should look like Upcoming events (vacation, wedding)Pressure from new diagnoses (e.g., diabetes) that cause shame or anxiety about future health consequences Cruel comments from people in your life about your weight or appearanceInternalized negative self-talk (e.g., internally yelling at yourself when you eat more than you meant to)And much more...

So How Can We Reduce the Pressure and Enjoy the Journey?

Name the things causing the pressure. Notice where the pressure is coming from in your life on a day to day basis. Is it that phone call with your mom? Is it seeing your friends post pictures in their bathing suits on social media and getting anxious about the summer? Is it the ways you are talking to yourself about your body? Remove them if possible. Deleting social media (or at least take it off your phone) can go a long way to reduce stress overall. If you notice yourself having thoughts like "I need to lose weight before summer", remind yourself that your body is okay and you can take care of yourself without an urgent need for weight loss. Develop resilience to the diet culture messages. Notice and talk back to the BS thoughts that tell you your body isn't okay. Surround yourself with people with diverse bodies as much as you can, even if it's just changing who you follow on social media or trying to find an exercise class that doesn't just have 1 body type on their website or in the class.Lean into learning mindful eating or Intuitive Eating. Grab one of the many amazing resources on these topics (Intuitive Eating is a great start,...

Episode 70. Today's post and episode is actually a replay of my conversation last summer with Dr. Jillian Murphy, ND. I don't replay episodes all that often, but I realized many people missed this one, and it's truly a crucial on in understanding this approach, understanding Health at Every Size, Intuitive Eating, and the somewhat less talked about concepts of Competent Eating and Division of Responsibility work lead by Ellyn Satter.

Cutting the Diet Culture Cord

One thing that really becomes evident in the conversation with Dr. Murphy, is that anti-diet, weight inclusive approaches benefit all bodies. Not just people with eating disorders or in a certain body size, but ALL OF US. I’m really excited for you to listen to this interview, because we cover a lot and Dr. Murphy is a WEALTH of knowledge as she’s been practicing naturopathic medicine in the weight inclusive space for a decade.

One thing that was super interesting to me is the fact that even when things feel “mild” in terms of “healthy eating”, how much freedom you can still gain from cutting the diet culture cord.

I seriously learned a ton in this interview. Let’s dive in!

"This isn't an individual failure; it's a failure of the system and the information you've gotten… you weren't born eating like this."- Jillian Murphy

In the interview, we cover:

Why Health at Every Size is not just a social movement, but an evidence-based movement rooted heavily in science. She breaks this down in a way that I truly haven’t heard before, so make sure you stay tuned to really understand why and how this isn’t just a “don’t judge people for their body size” movement (though that’s of course very important, too!)We talk about her training as a Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine and where her focus is, as well as the ways that her training, just like pretty much all standard training programs, were steeped in diet culture beliefs.Her experience with orthorexia and how she finally fully cut the diet culture cord.We talk about her work learning about competent eating through the Ellyn Satter Institute and the power of this approach for kids and adults. I’m SO excited for this part of this conversation, because we talk about a nuanced approach to moving towards a flexible, healthy, sustainable relationship with food called Competent Eating that can be really helpful for people who want more structure than Intuitive Eating provides. Super cool.

Do you ever worry that you are wasting your life?

I definitely did. In fact, I wrote that in my journal many years ago when I was in the middle of the diet-binge roller coaster ride.

I woke up every day thinking about food, my body, and what I would eat that day to “be healthy”The notebooks I had filled with calories and points could fill up a spare bedroomSocial events and vacations immediately prompted the thought “they will notice I gained weight” or “I need to lose weight by then”Deep down I knew I wasn’t living life the way I wanted to, but I didn’t know how to pull myself out of it.

If this is you, I want you to imagine what it would feel like to feel empowered in your body and proud of your choices on a consistent basis. I promise you, it isn’t too late.

Dieting steals our motivation. It makes us ineffective. It keeps us spinning our wheels in a system that was never built to work.

If you are ready take the first step to motivating yourself with what matters to you, download my free Create Powerful Motivation guide (which is quite beautifully designed if I do say so myself), and walk through the 3 simple steps to create motivation that works for YOU in 15 minutes or less. You will get a simple formula to write ONE SENTENCE you can use to motivate yourself on a daily basis.

You can write it on your bathroom mirror, put on the background of your phone, or just read it and repeat it in your mind.

Look, I know how much it hurts to live a life worrying you are missing out, not stepping into the person you were truly meant to be, vibrant, passionate, curious, vulnerable, and brave.

You can listen to the podcast all day, but taking that first step, putting pen the paper (or typing on your phone) is required for true lasing change. It’s time to start living my friend.

It’s 100% free, so what are you waiting for? Grab your free copy of the guide today at DrHondorp.com/Motivate 

Meet Dr. Jillian Murphy

Dr. Murphy is a licensed Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine, Coach, and affiliate of the Ellyn Satter Institute based in Kingston, Ontario Canada. She works with diverse, smart, health-conscious women who are DONE WITH DIETING, looking to get out of their heads and reconnect with their bodies. She uses cutting edge eating psychology, in-the-know insight & guidance around diet culture, health, and weight to teach women WHY they stay stuck in negative patterns around food and constant body dissatisfaction and how they can pursue health without falling back down the diet hole. 

Jillian also offers in depth courses for professionals & practitioners looking to grow their anti-diet, weight-inclusive businesses, feeling super confident in their practice and process. She currently offers both an 8 week intensive and a year long Mastermind offering up the very best support and education for newbies and highly-seasoned practitioners alike.

You can connect with Jillian at her website FoodFreedomBodyLove.com or on Instagram.

All Bodies Deserve Dignity and Respect

The Health at Every Size® (HAES® ) movement aims to fight for the dignity and respect of all bodies. It’s well documented that this doesn’t occur, and there is no doubt that it’s significantly harming our health.

There is no shortage of strategies for weight loss, but a critical piece of the overall picture that we’re failing to consider is the lasting damage that these strategies have on body image, relationships with food, and self-respect. The approach that is currently being used is doing FAR more harm than good, and that is what HAES® is trying to change.

Using size-focused methods for weight loss can be incredibly devastating in the long run. They aren’t controllable, they don’t consider behavior as a factor, and they are DEFINITELY not sustainable. Dr. Murphy mentions that the best strategies to use are behavior-based, and they zero in on altering mindset rather than using externally-focused “fixes”.

Even though the dignity of diverse bodies is NOT prioritized in the health field currently and the strategies we commonly see reinforce that, there ARE ways we can combat this and make systemic change.

She premises it beautifully for us here:

“We don’t know how to help people lose weight, that the strategies we’ve engaged in have been more harmful than helpful, that there is a much wider range of body diversity than the medical community currently allows for or normalizes, and that its all of these things that lead to the health issues that we’re seeing.”Dr. Jillian Murphy, ND

Health at Every Size® – The Scientific Facts Behind the Social Justice Movement

In addition to the very important social aspects of the movement, there’s also an immense amount of science.

1. The clear causal relationship hasn’t been established between weight and health outcomes

There are many points to make here.

The fact is that thinner people have all the conditions we blame on weight (heart disease, diabetes, cancer, PCOS) so for that reason alone we know it can’t only be weight that is the problem.

We cannot establish a causal relationship with weight causing the health problems it’s blamed on (e.g., heart disease, diabetes, PCOS, cancer, etc) because we cannot randomly assign two groups of people to be and stay at a certain weight (at least not safely) and study them for extended periods of time with nothing else changing.

This doesn’t mean there isn’t co-relations between weight and health, but we know it isn’t as simple as “fat causes X” as so often is the assumption. There could also be underlying genetic causal relationships that are causing the weight gain and the disease process.

2. There is a much wider array of body diversity than the medical community currently allows for.

Biodiversity is a fact, and yet criteria like the BMI have such a narrow and speculative range for what we deem “healthy.” This causes issues across the weight spectrum, like things being over diagnosed or missed completely.

3. Even if a causal relationship could be established, we don’t have effective ways to help people lose weight long-term without collateral damage.

We didn’t cover bariatric surgery in this interview, and people have mixed feelings/emotions on this, but I do think it’s worth mentioning that I’m talking about behavioral weight loss. We don’t currently have effective ways to help people lose weight and keep it off long term without a sacrifice of well-being, physically and emotionally.

Competent Eating as an Alternative or Complement to Intuitive Eating

Dr. Murphy talks about her training with the Ellyn Satter Institute on concepts like division of responsibility and competent eating and how this was initially done to support her work with children, but how this actually ended up being really useful for adults.

She talks about how some personalities or types of people really benefit from the structure that competent eating naturally provides and how this has become another tool in her toolkit that has been truly helpful to her and her patients.

Dr. Murphy said that this could be useful for various people, including but not limited to:

Neurodiverse people (people with Autism Spectrum Disorders, for example, or food sensitivities)Certain personality typesPeople who feel truly overwhelmed and not able to get in touch with their bodiesPeople with diabetes sometimes, or with certain food restrictions based on a medical condition

Division of Responsibility for Raising Competent Eaters

...

Episode 69. Frustrated with emotional eating and not sure where to turn? Have you tried all the things, all the diets, all the "lifestyle" change programs only to worry that you "self-sabotage" by emotional eating? Do you feel like if you could just "stop emotional eating" then all would be writh in the world? Well, today we will touch on what's keeping you stuck, and my top favorite books to help pull you out of the ineffective (and incredibly draining cycle).

Today I'm doing a review of my very favorite books to improve your relationship with food and stop binge eating. In fact, binge eating is actually the best term to use instead of emotional eating. Because guess what? Food is emotional and we should have an emotional relationship to food. But I know you want to feel more in control, so that's what we are covering today.

Are you ready!? Let's dive in.

What to Expect In This Episode

The top 6 books I recommend most to help you improve your relationship with food and stop emotional eating or binge eatingGuidance on which books are best for which type of person. Do you like science? I've got a book for you. Or maybe you are more of a story person? Don't worry, there's a great recommendation for each of you.When to know if self help books aren't enough

Taking that First Step

Have you been caught in the binge-diet cycle, or felt like an emotional eating your whole life or for many years?

You might be understandably skeptical that a book could help with such a lifelong problem, and you may be right... However, buying one of these books and reading it may in fact but the first crucial step on a path of healing.

Here me out.

The Way We Are Doing Things Isn't Working

The standard approach to weight management and even treatment of binge eating disorder or emotional eating is not working for the VAST majority of people.

Top Books to Improve Your Relationship With Food

6. The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

5. The Joy Choice and/or No Sweat by Michelle Segar, PhD, MPH - List to my conversation with Dr. Segar here!

4. Health at Every Size by Lindo Bacon, PhD

3. Decolonizing Wellness by Dalia Kinsey, RD, LD

2. The Diet-Free Revolution by Alexis Conason, PsyD and/or The Mindfulness-Based Eating Solution by Lynn Rossy, PhD - Listen to my conversation with Dr. Conason here!

1. Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch

How to Know When Books Aren't Enough

You continue to doubt the process, whether it's working, and if you are on the right path.You are reading the information, but not implementing it. And you still feel out of control and are still emotional eating.You still feel a tremendous amount of shame about your struggles.If you have a significant eating disorder (e.g., really are struggling to eat more food throughout the day, have very engrained thoughts about your body, are bingeing/purging or excessively exercising or doing other things to get rid of calories) please call the National Eating Disorders Helpline here. Remember that eating disorders can and do occurs in all body sizes.

Options for Next Steps

If you are finding that books aren't enough, or you are just wanting more support and to make progress faster, look into finding more support.

Friend level support. Find a friend (or two) to do a book club with. Read one of the above books and meet regularly to discuss it and how you will apply it.Find a Health at Every Size aligned dietitian and/or therapist (counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist). If you can't find someone with their specific training, consider finding a therapist who might be willing to learn with you as a first step.

Support Independent Bookstores Near You!

Did you know that that if nothing slows their momentum, Amazon will have almost 80% of the book market by the end of 2025?

Look, I love the convenience of Amazon, but I’ve got a super cool way that you can support local bookstores and my blog and podcast simply by buying books like you already do! You can choose any bookstore on the list in the US and Canada (they plan to expand to other counties in the future) OR you can just let the donation get split between all stores. As of this recording, they have raised 15 million dollars for local bookstores. On my bookshop, you will see my absolute favorite books related to health and wellness, courage and vulnerability, and even my favorite fiction and kids books!

A favorite of mine related to improving the quality of our lives was Digital Minimalism. Our family actually has decided to do an optional screen free month to re-evaluate the role of screen time in our lives.

So if you believe in supporting local businesses, please consider buying your books through Bookshop from now on!

The Psychology of Wellness Bookshop Link.

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider patient relationship.

Disclosure: Using the Bookshop.org links in this post means that I would get an affiliate fee if you purchase from the online bookshop (this supports my business, and local bookstores too!).

Episode 68. Today I’m so excited to talk with Jessi Holden. I found her via Google search, and then learned she lives right by me! We had a really cool conversation about the ways you can support autonomy and desire for weight loss all at the same time!

What to Expect In This Episode

In this interview, we cover:

Can a weight inclusive approach (e.g., Health at Every Size®, Intuitive Eating) and pursuing weight loss go together?How does this relate to weight loss in general, and weight loss (bariatric) surgery?Some of the ways Health at Every Size® and Intuitive Eating are aligned, and how they are differentThe way we have seen professionals accidentally take away autonomy from their clients and patientsWhy social media may not be the best place to have these nuanced conversations (and a little tangent about how my use of social media has drastically changed in the past 6 months and why)What we want people to know to truly make sure they are making autonomous and empowered choices in this space

Who is Jessi Holden, MS, RD?

Jessi Holden is a registered dietitian/nutritionist who is aligned with the Health at Every Size® Movement and considers the affects of weight loss surgery, and how the two concepts are interrelated. In her work, she integrates Intuitive Eating to promote health in her clients. Through Jessi's blog, individuals are able to learn how to eat better to suit their body, how to exercise more in balanced ways, and how to focus on getting healthier.

"Everybody is deserving of finding health and what that really looks like for them."- Jessi Holden, MS, RDN

Want To Support Local Bookstores Near You?

Buy your books from Bookshop! Support local bookstores near you and this blog and podcast and help prevent Amazon from completely squashing the local book market.

Do you ever worry that you are wasting your life?

I definitely did. In fact, I wrote that in my journal many years ago when I was in the middle of the diet-binge roller coaster ride.

I woke up every day thinking about food, my body, and what I would eat that day to “be healthy”The notebooks I had filled with calories and points could fill up a spare bedroomSocial events and vacations immediately prompted the thought “they will notice I gained weight” or “I need to lose weight by then”Deep down I knew I wasn’t living life the way I wanted to, but I didn’t know how to pull myself out of it.

If this is you, I want you to imagine what it would feel like to feel empowered in your body and proud of your choices on a consistent basis. I promise you, it isn’t too late.

Dieting steals our motivation. It makes us ineffective. It keeps us spinning our wheels in a system that was never built to work.

If you are ready take the first step to motivating yourself with what matters to you, download my free Cultivate Powerful Motivation guide (which is quite beautifully designed if I do say so myself), and walk through the 3 simple steps to cultivate motivation that works for YOU in 15 minutes or less. You will get a simple formula to write ONE SENTENCE you can use to motivate yourself on a daily basis.

You can write it on your bathroom mirror, put on the background of your phone, or just read it and repeat it in your mind.

Look, I know how much it hurts to live a life worrying you are missing out, not stepping into the person you were truly meant to be, vibrant, passionate, curious, vulnerable, and brave.

You can listen to the podcast all day, but taking that first step, putting pen the paper (or typing on your phone) is required for true change. It’s time to start living my friend.

It’s 100% free, so what are you waiting for? Grab your free copy of the guide today at DrHondorp.com/Motivate 

Main Takeaways from this Episode!

HAES and the desire for weight loss (surgery or not) can go together. Healthcare professionals don't need to shy away from this topic to be aligned with a weight-inclusive approach.The Health at Every Size® movement doesn't say you're not allowed to lose weight. It's about empowering and giving autonomy back to the patient to make informed decisions about their health.Disregarding weight loss goals or shaming people for wanting to lose weight is not the answer.When it comes to weight loss surgery, Jessi's main goal is to present them with unbiased facts, ask questions to understand their "why," and introduce HAES if they're open to learning about it.This is a reoccurring theme on this podcast, but social media isn't the place to have nuanced conversations, as it can be a polarizing space.

Support Independent Bookstores Near You!

Did you know that that if nothing slows their momentum, Amazon will have almost 80% of the book market by the end of 2025?

Look, I love the convenience of Amazon, but I’ve got a super cool way that you can support local bookstores and my blog and podcast simply by buying books like you already do! You can choose any bookstore on the list in the US and Canada (they plan to expand to other counties in the future) OR you can just let the donation get split between all stores. As of this recording, they have raised 15 million dollars for local bookstores. On my bookshop, you will see my absolute favorite books related to health and wellness, courage and vulnerability, and even my favorite fiction and kids books!

My recent favorite related to improving the quality of our lives was Digital Minimalism. Our family actually has decided to do an optional screen free August to re-evaluate the role of screen time in our lives.

So if you believe in supporting local businesses, please consider buying your books through Bookshop from now on!

The Psychology of Wellness Bookshop Link.

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider patient relationship.

Disclosure: Using the Bookshop.org links in this post means that I would get an affiliate fee if you purchase from the online bookshop (this supports my business, and local bookstores too!).

Credit: This blog post was written by Dr. Shawn Hondorp and edited by Julia Ledbetter.

Episode 67. Simplify. Play. Choose Joy. How does THAT sound to you, friends?

In today's episode, I got to sit down with Dr. Michelle Segar, someone whose work I deeply admire, and this only was amplified after our conversation. It was a reminder to me that even people who have tons of research publications and two books have self-doubt, but that people doing the courageous work of questioning the status quo are essential to improving the way we do things, and help people.

What to Expect in this Interview

In this interview, we cover:

What prompted Dr. Segar to get into doing this work (she takes us back to a story from a pivotal moment among a group of women in 1994)When and why she first started applying Self-Determination Theory to understanding eating and exercise habitsWhat made her write her bestselling book No Sweat AND her brand new book out this week called The Joy ChoiceWhat we need to understand about the existing research on habit change and why it might not always apply to eating behaviorWhat is a "habiter" versus an "unhabiter", and how to know which one you areHow to use her science-based decision support strategy - simplify, play, and choose joy - to help us quiet the mental noise and clear the decks for effective decision making through joy, ease, and flexibility.” What it means to make the "perfect, imperfect choice" and how it can help you (make sure you check out the example about how this applies to Kara's habit of skipping lunch)

Who is Dr. Michelle Segar?

Michelle Segar, PhD, MPH, MS bestselling author of No Sweat and sustainable behavior change scientist, directs the University of Michigan’s Sport, Health, and Activity Research and Policy Center. She has spent the last 25 years conducting health coaching and research and translating it into sustainable behavior change messages and programming for professionals and organizations seeking to accelerate and sustain positive change. Her comprehensive, research-based approach to creating sustainable behavior change has made her a sought-after speaker, sustainable-behavior-change trainer, and consultant.  Michelle is passionate about helping professionals and organizations learn how to integrate the latest scientific findings into clinic-based counseling and tele-coaching protocols and digital health products and practices.

"How can we be failing at something when we've been set up to fail?"-Michelle Segar, PhD, MPH, MS

Want To Support Local Bookstores Near You?

Buy The Joy Choice and other great books from Bookshop! Support local bookstores near you and this blog and podcast and help prevent Amazon from completely squashing the local book market.

Do you ever worry that you are wasting your life?

I definitely did. In fact, I wrote that in my journal many years ago when I was in the middle of the diet-binge roller coaster ride.

I woke up every day thinking about food, my body, and what I would eat that day to "be healthy"The notebooks I had filled with calories and points could fill up a spare bedroomSocial events and vacations immediately prompted the thought "they will notice I gained weight" or "I need to lose weight by then"Deep down I knew I wasn't living life the way I wanted to, but I didn't know how to pull myself out of it.

If this is you, I want you to imagine what it would feel like to feel empowered in your body and proud of your choices on a consistent basis. I promise you, it isn't too late.

Dieting steals our motivation. It makes us ineffective. It keeps us spinning our wheels in a system that was never built to work.

If you are ready take the first step to motivating yourself with what matters to you, download my free Cultivate Powerful Motivation guide (which is quite beautifully designed if I do say so myself), and walk through the 3 simple steps to cultivate motivation that works for YOU in 15 minutes or less. You will get a simple formula to write ONE SENTENCE you can use to motivate yourself on a daily basis.

You can write it on your bathroom mirror, put on the background of your phone, or just read it and repeat it in your mind.

Look, I know how much it hurts to live a life worrying you are missing out, not stepping into the person you were truly meant to be, vibrant, passionate, curious, vulnerable, and brave.

You can listen to the podcast all day, but taking that first step, putting pen the paper (or typing on your phone) is required for true change. It's time to start living my friend.

It's 100% free, so what are you waiting for? Grab your free copy of the guide today at DrHondorp.com/Motivate 

Main Takeaways from this Episode

We need to start reframing what "counts" as exercise. There isn't a set amount of time or intensity required for something to be considered exercise. Movement is movement, and you'll never regret choosing to move your body.Habit formation isn't the holy grail and frankly doesn't work for many of us. Michelle believes that cognitively thinking about our decisions can be more powerful than automatized habits.All-or-nothing thinking is the one thing that can totally throw us off track when it comes to our health goals.Simplify, play, and choose joy. If you planned on doing a long run, but life got in the way, and you only have the energy for a 15-min ab workout, that's perfectly fine, and you shouldn't be ashamed.Michelle wants us to reframe our ideas about health and search for the "perfect, imperfect choice" when life's challenges get in our way.

Support Independent Bookstores Near You!

Did you know that that if nothing slows their momentum, Amazon will have almost 80% of the book market by the end of 2025?

Look, I love the convenience of Amazon, but I’ve got a super cool way that you can support local bookstores and my blog and podcast simply by buying books like you already do! You can choose any bookstore on the list in the US and Canada (they plan to expand to other counties in the future) OR you can just let the donation get split between all stores. As of this recording, they have raised 15 million dollars for local bookstores. On my bookshop, you will see my absolute favorite books related to health and wellness, courage and vulnerability, and even my favorite fiction and kids books!

My recent favorite related to improving the quality of our lives was Digital Minimalism. Our family actually has decided to do an optional screen free August to re-evaluate the role of screen time in our lives.

So if you believe in supporting local businesses, please consider buying your books through Bookshop from now on!

The Psychology of Wellness Bookshop Link.

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider patient relationship.

Disclosure: Using the Bookshop.org links in this post means that I would get an affiliate fee if you purchase from the online bookshop (this supports my business, and local bookstores too!).

Credit: This blog post was written by Dr. Shawn Hondorp and edited by Julia Ledbetter.