The Innovative Therapist

Episode 37. Dr. Theresa Osmer is the founder of FLOW Chiropractic. Dr. Osmer received her Doctor of Chiropractic from National University of Health Sciences near Chicago, Illinois, in 2012. She has additional post-graduate training in prenatal and postpartum care, pediatrics, functional rehabilitation, ergonomics, athletic taping, and lifestyle medicine. Dr. Osmer also has the Webster Certification, Mercier Therapy certification, and has recently completed her training to become a Certified Functional Medicine Practitioner.

Born and raised in Michigan, Dr. Osmer grew up in Owosso and is the oldest of 5 girls! She attended Michigan State University for her Human Biology degree with a specialization in Bioethics and Humanities.

Following graduation, Dr. Osmer and her husband moved to Grand Rapids, Michigan. Outside of FLOW, Dr. Osmer is very involved in her Grand Rapids community with The Junior League of Grand Rapids and The Grand Rapids Community Foundation as a 100 New Philanthropist. In her free time, Dr. Osmer enjoys spending time with her family (including her Golden Retriever, Roubaix-Salsa, her nephew August, and her niece Savannah), cooking, and traveling. As a self-proclaimed “Mermaid,” Dr. Osmer is happiest in the water or on a beach!

You can connect with Theresa at her website FLOWChiro.com or on Instagram.

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Are You New Here?

Welcome! I’m so glad to have you. You might be wondering what this blog and podcast are all about.

We relate everything in this podcast back to motivation, but not the hustle and grind kind. Truly sustainable motivation that keeps you feeling energetic and engaged in your life for the long haul. We talk about why “I’m just not motivated” is a myth and why the TYPE of motivation you have is so important to fully understand. If you are ready to learn about motivation and respecting your body in an effective way so that you can live a life you truly love, you are in the right place.

Check out the Foundational Episodes of the Motivation Made Easy Podcast here!

Introduction: What is this podcast all about?Episode 1: Want to Get & Stay Motivated? A Crash Course on Motivation, Weight Loss, and HealthEpisode 2: How Dieting Steals Our MotivationEpisode 3: How To Get Motivated To Improve Your Health (Motivation 101)Episode 4: How to Transform Health Fears Into Forward Progress

Are you ready to take that first step?

Are you sick of decision fatigue and feelings of overwhelm? You wake up feeling anxious, not sure what to eat or focus on in your day. Not exactly sure how to spend your time. Maybe you end up scrolling your phone or just jump into your emails, not really sure how to spend your time.

You finish your day focused on all the things you didn't get done, frustrated and angry that you aren't more focused on what truly matters. Maybe you felt that you weren't present with your kids or loved ones? I know that's the one that hurts me the MOST.

I think we have all been there.

If you are ready to start getting clear on what you should be spending your time on, what's helpful, and what it's, it first starts with clarifying your values.

The #1 strategy I hear over and over that is MOST HELPFUL in developing autonomous and sustainable motivation is to clarify your values. Have you done it yet? Or lately?

I, for one, do this regularly, particularly when I'm feeling a bit lost. And as a new entrepreneur, this happens quite often!

Grab the free guide at DrHondorp.com/goals, which will walk you through step by step a process to get started on clarifying what matters to you and what you should be focusing on at this season of your life. I promise you; it’s never too late to stop dieting and start truly living.

Chiropractic Care and Functional Medicine with Dr. Theresa Osmer, DC

I am so excited to bring you this conversation today. One of my goals is to help people move away from ineffective dieting strategies so they can stop the weight cycling roller coaster and actually spend time on things that are effective in improving their health.

I was introduced to Dr. Osmer during the middle of my second pregnancy. I was planning and hoping to have a vaginal birth after having an unplanned cesarean section for my first birth and was doing ALL THE THINGS to feel like I had controlled the things I could.

I'm not sure I'd ever have seen a chiropractor if this hadn't happened to me, but I'm so grateful to have met Dr. Osmer. I learned SO much, and I'm still learning from her to this day.

In this interview, we cover:

What is chiropractic care? Is it legit? Does it have to involve cracking?Once you start going, will you always need to go?What is functional medicine?What are some of the common things standard medical care can miss and how can chiropractic care and functional medicine providers be useful to you?And so much more!

What is Chiropractic Care? Is it Legit?

“I love the approach of taking a whole person, biopsychosocial model to really understand who that person is.”Dr. Theresa Osmer, DC

I was one of the probably many skeptics about this question, but I can tell you after basically falling into chiropractic care, it 100% is legit.

There is a lot of misinformation and myths out there about chiropractic care and what it truly is. Can a chiropractor really help you? If you start seeing a chiropractor, will you ever be able to stop seeing them?

All of these questions are valid, and even Dr. Osmer had some of these doubts about this profession before she researched it. Dr. Osmer attended a research-driven chiropractic school that educated her on the scientific basis of the practice.

Chiropractic care encompasses working with a patient to reduce pain, regain mobility, and, ultimately, reestablish alignment within their body through physical adjustments.

Through Dr. Osmer's education, she was able to bridge the gap between evidence, theory, and the experimental aspects of chiropractic care through research and implementing her knowledge in practice.

Like with many things in health, each individual case is different. Dr. Osmer stressed the importance of a practitioner being able to look at a patient as a whole person instead of just a diagnosis or collection of symptoms.

This is where chiropractic care can really shine. The chiropractor can build a connection with you and understand what your "normal" is. This allows them to better assist you when something hurts or seems off because they aren't starting from square one.

What is Functional Medicine?

Functional medicine is root cause resolution. It allows the patient-provider relationship to dig deeper into the root cause of a diagnosis.

If you have a history of hypertension, the functional medicine approach addresses WHY you are experiencing hypertension instead of focusing on the treatment (i.e., medication) right off the bat.

A functional medicine practitioner might assess other aspects in your life and health that could be contributing to hypertension, such as stress, dietary, or environmental factors.

Functional medicine practitioners work with the physician to hopefully improve the patient's symptoms and possibly wean them off their medication if their symptoms improve.

People, especially women with autoimmune diseases, can benefit from seeing a functional medicine practitioner because patients often go undiagnosed until it's too late and they experience a flare-up.

A functional medicine practitioner can work with a patient to deduce the root cause of their symptoms and create a treatment plan from there.

What are We Missing in Standard Medical Care Only?

The answer sadly is a LOT. Standard medical care is essential but only so much can be done in a 30-minute check-up with your primary care physician.

It can be difficult to get the medical attention and detail needed from such a short visit.

We cover a few examples here.

Improving Pregnancy and Birth Outcomes

We cover some examples, like improving sciatica and other pain during pregnancy and birth outcomes.

The Webster Technique is what Dr. Osmer uses and used on me with great results immediately and at my eventual birth. This technique helps to create alignment for the birthing mother through physical adjustments.

Dr. Osmer is also certified in Mercier Therapy, which focuses on manipulating the internal pelvic organs to promote mobility, blood flow to that area, and restoration of function to the pelvic organs.

Reducing Infertility and Optimizing Care in the Pre-Natal Period

There is also evidence of improving issues with infertility and optimizing care in the prenatal period.

Many women are told that to have a healthy pregnancy, they must lose weight. When women are told this, their first instinct is to start restriction and working out more.

There seems to not be enough support and education for women to make them aware of the other options to have healthy pregnancies besides dieting.

Dr. Osmer explains that the best pregnancy diet is paying attention to your body and eating what makes you feel good.

If there are signs of insulin resistance or other issues, the practitioner can work with the patient to add beneficial things into their diet instead of coming from a restriction perspective.

Making Sure Nothing is Missed

Dr. Osmer talks about the frequency of conditions like autoimmune conditions and thyroid concerns that are missed in standard medical care.

Autoimmune diseases often go undiagnosed due to inconsistent symptoms that don't perfectly fit into the mold physicians associate with a particular disease.

This can cause delaying of treatment and even dismissal of symptoms until eventually; a nasty flare-up can

Episode 36. This week I am incredibly excited to talk to Joanna Pustilnik, MS, RDN. Joanna is a non-diet Registered Dietitian, Certified Diabetes Care and Education Specialist, certified intuitive eating counselor, and personal trainer with a background in disordered eating and eating disorders, metabolic and digestive health, plant-based nutrition, and fertility and women's health with special focus of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. She sees clients locally in Arlington, Virginia at MindBodyHealth.com

Are You New Here?

Welcome! I'm so glad to have you. You might be wondering what this blog and podcast are all about.

We relate everything in this podcast back to motivation, but not the hustle and grind kind. Truly sustainable motivation that keeps you feeling energetic and engaged in your life for the long haul. We talk about why "I'm just not motivated" is a myth, and why the TYPE of motivation you have is so important to fully understand. If you are ready to learn about motivation and respecting your body in an effective way so that you can live a life you truly love, you are in the right place.

Check out the Foundational Episodes of the Motivation Made Podcast here!

Introduction: What is this podcast all about?Episode 1: Want to Get & Stay Motivated? A Crash Course on Motivation, Weight Loss, and HealthEpisode 2: How Dieting Steals Our MotivationEpisode 3: How To Get Motivated To Improve Your Health (Motivation 101)Episode 4: How to Transform Health Fears Into Forward Progress

"I'm terrified I'm wasting my life."

I wrote this in a journal in the middle of the diet-binge cycle. And frankly, I kind of was.

I’m here to tell you it’s never too late to gain control of your eating, respect your body, and live a life that’s TRULY consistent with your values. But you need to take the first step.

One of the very first steps in developing truly autonomous and body respecting motivation is to clarify what actually matters to you. Not your mom, not your sister, not your best friend, YOU. 

The more you reflect on this, the more you can connect your values to your behaviors in a sustainable and empowering way. 

Grab the free guide at DrHondorp.com/goals and get started today. I promise you, it’s never to late to stop dieting and start truly living. You will not regret it.

What is Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS)?

PCOS stands for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, and it's important to note that it is a SYNDROME rather than a disease.

What's the difference?

Well, diseases have one cause, but symptoms can show in very different ways. When it comes to syndromes, we aren't 100% sure what the cause is but the symptoms are very similar.

We do know that PCOS is a hormonal syndrome that usually shows in increased levels of androgens, which can but doesn't always lead to irregular menstruation, persistent acne, development of cysts on ovaries, and more...which can in turn cause issues with fertility.

Androgens should be found in everyone. These hormones include testosterone and DHEAS, and these are the hormones that increase sex drive and focus. We often see higher levels of androgens in those who have been diagnosed with PCOS, but this can vary from person to person.

How is it diagnosed?

The truth is, it isn't 100% clear.

There is still a large gray area when it comes to PCOS, and there is also disagreement and conflicting information in the medical field.

However, the Rotterdam criteria is mostly commonly used and accepted to diagnose PCOS.

It requires that a patient must have two out of three of these criteria:

Oligo-ovulation (irregular ovulation) or Anovulation (no ovulation)Hyperandrogenism (high levels of androgens)Polycystic ovaries

Hypothalamic Amenorrhea

It's possible for Hypothalamic Amenorrhea to be misdiagnosed as PCOS, which is incredibly dangerous.

HA is a condition that is characterized by the hypothalamus failing to produce a key hormone that signals the brain to produce estrogen and progesterone. Without adequate amounts of these hormones, menstruation can come to a halt and ovulation can be suppressed, leading to infertility.

When women are diagnosed with PCOS, they are often told "just lose weight". This is the exact opposite of the treatment for HA, which may include eating at least 2500 calories per day.

For this reason, it's incredibly important to educate yourself and find a doctor you can truly trust with your diagnosis.

What are Some of the Myths and Harmful Messages Given to Those with PCOS?

"Lose weight. Go on a low carb diet." Other factors such as stress and inflammation need to be taken into account when it comes to causes and treatments of PCOS. The truth is that this is a genetic condition, and androgens are independent of obesity.

Not to mention, low carb diets can actually cause or worsen insulin resistance.

If we aren't eating enough carbs, we could be exacerbating the root cause of PCOS.

Do you need to lose weight to have a healthy pregnancy?

Walter Willett, who created the Nurses Health Study, came up with The fertility Diet which as Joanna says, has some GREAT data.

It involves a diet low in animal protein (particularly red meat), high in plant-based protein (even soy), legumes, fruits, veggies and grains, and in general is very anti-inflammatory. He also adds that whole fat dairy can be very helpful. Women who eat a serving of whole fat dairy per day had increased ovulation rates, while low fat dairy can pull out feminine hormones and leave the androgens, which could further increase those hormones and exacerbate fertility issues.

All kinds of diets are recommended ALL the time for PCOS women and women wanting to get pregnant in general. They're told to go Paleo, or cut out certain food groups, or just eat meats, fruits, veggies, etc...

But don't be afraid to include the foods you enjoy! Your relationship with food is so so important, and there's simply no need to be restrictive. Women wanting to have a healthy pregnancy can absolutely prioritize health, but weight loss and the stress and damage that come from dieting and restriction are completely unnecessary, and can actually suppress ovulation. Look at the QUALITY of your diet rather than eating less.

What to do for PCOS instead of "just try to lose weight"

"If there's one thing to focus on, an anti-inflammatory diet."Joanna Pustilnik, MS, RDN

Food relationship is always most important, and we have to pay attention to what we WANT to eat. However, we also have to keep in mind that pro-inflammatory diets decrease ovulation.

Focusing on lifestyle behaviors and balance while finding joy in activities that promote health can completely change your life.

Joanna mentions that it can be really helpful to take foods or recipes that may be a bit bland, and play around with different spices and ingredients until you find something you enjoy. You could also take a meal that you love and replace old ingredients with similar anti-inflammatory ingredients that help with PCOS.

Joanna also talks about a great study on exercise that showed less weight loss, but an INCREASE in ovulation rates in the women who participated.

Anti-Inflammatory Diet

There are tons of foods and food groups involved in an anti-inflammatory diet, but Joanna provides us with some staple foods and tips to consider when dealing with PCOS.

Fruits and veggiesRed wineLimited processed foodsEat the rainbow!Cruciferious veggies: broccoli, brussel sprouts, cauliflower.Beans and grains (pull out excess androgens from the body)Omega 3s, fish, chia seeds, flax seedsVitamin D supplementModerate carb throughout the day Spices, fresh herbs, cinnamon, Turmeric curcumin

Take Home Messages for PCOS or Related Symptoms

PCOS is a syndrome, and the diagnosis process isn't clear cut. There are a lot of gray areas in this syndrome, and standard medicine doesn't do great with grey areas. For this reason, you will want to work to educate yourself, but more importantly find a provider who is willing to learn with you, and do some investigative work. If you have PCOS, it is 100% not your fault. There is a genetic basis and the ways we typically treat folks with these symptoms is SEVERELY lacking and very often not evidence-based. In fact, the advice to "lose weight and follow a low carb diet," will likely result in weight gain and increase insulin resistance, stress and low grade inflammation which may worsen the underlying cause of PCOS.Find the root cause. This is essential, and standard medical treatments often just treat symptoms, not causes. And yet, if we want long-term relief, an analysis of root causes is likely needed. All women deserve this, so let's keep asking for it and searching until we find someone who will walk alongside us to think of our bodies more wholistically.You do have control and can feel empowered. Focus on food relationship #1, as this is an immense source of stress for many women, then look at gentle nutrition (see above for details), joyful movement, stress management, among other areas. Check out my episode with Dr. Theresa Osmer coming out next week for more information on Mercier Therapy which may provide another solution.

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Look, I love the convenience of Amazon, but I've got a super cool way that you can support local bookstores and my blog and podcast simply by buying books like you already do! You can choose any bookstore on the list in the US and Canada (they plan to expand to other counties in the future), OR you can just let the donation get split between all stores. As of this recording, they have raised 15 million dollars for local bookstores. In my bookshop, you will see my absolute favorite books related to health and wellness,...

Episode 35. Today I have the pleasure of talking with Victoria Evans.

Victoria Evans began her career in the corporate world with a prominent Fortune 500 company in the beauty industry in Montreal. During this time, her challenges related to eating disorders, mental health,  extreme dieting, and overexercising became a catalyst for creating a solution to an issue millions of women deal with today. As a successful Intuitive Eating Coach, she is disrupting the wellness industry through her fundamentally science-based approach. Victoria helps countless women heal their relationship with food by optimizing their mindset for happier and healthier lifestyles. 

You can find Victoria and connect with her here!

IG: @victoriaevansofficial

LinkedIn: VJEVANS

This Episode was SOOOOO good. Here are the Highlights:

If you are like me, you love to understand the science of WHY something works. But also, I'm a practical person. By the time I found Intuitive Eating, I had tried every diet under the sun, and frankly, most of them were quite "healthy" by societal standards. I did Weight Watchers many times, MyFitnessPal, Jenny Craig, and tons of self-directed attempts, usually recording calories or making myself a meal plan.

My first Weight Watchers attempt worked fairly well, meaning I lost some weight and kept it off for maybe a year or so.

What Victoria does so well in this interview and her work is really breaking down the science of why intuitive eating is so effective. She ties it to a theory by Stephen Porges called Polyvagal Theory that helps us understand our body's threat response and what starts it.

This interview helps explain things like:

Why binge eating never was and never will be a willpower problemHow your brain is trying to self-protect, because your primitive brain, the part that makes sure you stay alive, truly hasn't evolved for the availability of food that we have todayHow understanding your body and it's physiology can be the difference that truly makes the difference for you in reclaiming your relationship to food and getting your life back

The True Meaning of Intuition

This episode really made me think about and consider the term intuition and how SO many of us get out of touch with our true intuition and how much of a disservice this is doing for us and the world.

Intuition is not a single way of knowing—it's our ability to hold space for uncertainty, and our willingness to trust the many ways we've developed knowledge and insight, including instinct, experience, faith, and reason.- Brene Brown

As you listen to this episode, keep an open mind and really consider how your body and physiology work, how you might inadvertently be activating your threat response, and what you might be able to do instead.

Are You New Here?

Welcome! I’m so glad to have you. You might be wondering what this blog and podcast are all about.

We relate everything in this podcast back to motivation, but not the hustle and grind kind. Truly sustainable motivation that keeps you feeling energetic and engaged in your life for the long haul. We talk about why “I’m just not motivated” is a myth and why the TYPE of motivation you have is so important to fully understand. If you are ready to learn about motivation and respecting your body in an effective way so that you can live a life you truly love, you are in the right place.

Check out the Foundational Episodes of the Motivation Made Easy Podcast here!

Introduction: What is this podcast all about?Episode 1: Want to Get & Stay Motivated? A Crash Course on Motivation, Weight Loss, and HealthEpisode 2: How Dieting Steals Our MotivationEpisode 3: How To Get Motivated To Improve Your Health (Motivation 101)Episode 4: How to Transform Health Fears Into Forward Progress

“I’m terrified I’m wasting my life.”

I wrote this in a journal in the middle of the diet-binge cycle. And frankly, I kind of was.

I’m here to tell you it’s never too late to gain control of your eating, respect your body, and live a life that’s TRULY consistent with your values. But you need to take the first step.

One of the first steps in developing truly autonomous and body-respecting motivation is clarifying what actually matters to you. Not your mom, not your sister, not your best friend, YOU. 

The more you reflect on this, the more you can connect your values to your behaviors in a sustainable and empowering way. 

Grab the free guide at DrHondorp.com/goals and get started today. I promise you; it’s never too late to stop dieting and start truly living. You will not regret it.

Intuitive Eating? "That's the Stupidest Thing I've Ever Heard."

I loved that Victoria said this because it's SO common.

There's no way you could reach your health goals without following a diet... right? This couldn't be further from the truth!

We have been told the only way to be healthy is to restrict and become enemies with our bodies. To second guess any signals it sends us and to believe that we have to constantly fight against it to reach our goals.

I personally didn't have this reaction, but my journey towards Health at Every Size was more gradual than most.

Most people I work with, when I first introduce the concepts of intuitive eating, they have a very similar reaction.

I LOVE science and research, but most of my research background is within weight-centric research.

When we dig deeper into what intuitive eating truly is, it is evident that this is the way we were always meant to eat. Our ancestors just listened to their bodies and didn't think twice about if they should be following a ketogenic or a high-carb diet.

Intuitive Eating: Is It A Fairy-Tale or Science-Backed?

We often underestimate how smart our bodies are. Its main job is to keep everything running smoothly and keep you alive.

Our brains aren't up-to-date with the culture we live in. It cannot tell the difference between dieting or being in a famine. Both of these send the same stress signal to our brain.

If we aren't giving our bodies the proper nutrients to keep them satisfied, the primitive part of our brain kicks in to respond to the restriction. It is ingrained in us to binge if we have been in a cycle of famine and feast.

In Victoria's journey towards overcoming her eating disorder, she did a TON of research on the WHY behind intuitive eating. This was really useful to her to reduce the shame. It isn't a willpower problem.

How Does the Polyvagal Theory Explain Our Eating Habits?

Think back to when you have been scrolling on Instagram or flipping through a magazine in a waiting room. You stumble across a photo of a model or fitness influencer, and instantly you start comparing yourself to her.

How does she look like that? Why don't I look like that? Negative thoughts start to swirl through your head, and you might get discouraged or feel down.

It is our nature to want to fit in or feel connected to a certain group. In our ancestor's time, it was a biological disadvantage to stand out from the group.

When we feel disconnected from a group, our brain recognizes that it isn't safe for us to truly be ourselves, and we are placed in a defensive state.

There are two defensive parts of our nervous system include the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. The sympathetic system is responsible for our fight-or-flight response, and our parasympathetic system controls our rest and digest response.

However, the Polyvagal theory proposes that there is a third part of our nervous system called the social engagement system. The social engagement system is not defensive and requires a feeling of safety.

If we are in a situation where we don't feel safe, physically or mentally, eating food can be a common way to create a feeling of safety or comfort. Eating food can be used to calm us down or make us feel better in an unsafe environment.

The polyvagal theory explains the term "emotional eating" and can provide insight into our eating habits.

HOW to Build Trust with Your Body? Start this simple practice today

Along Victoria's journey towards food freedom and intuitive eating, she found that the hardest part was building trust with her body.

She explains that trust is built in the small moments over time, not in big breakthroughs. This is so encouraging because it means we can do something small every day to build trust with our bodies!

Victoria shares with us her trust and wins exercise. She tells her clients to open up a notes file on their phone and label it trust and wins.

She then suggests recording all the small wins in your daily life. Each win may not seem like much at the time, but over time it will build, and you will be able to reference how far you have come with your body.

Paying attention to the small victories can condition our brains to understand the importance of self-trust and cause us to remember how reliable our bodies truly are.

What to Say to Yourself Instead of Body Shame and Diet Mentality

Instead of looking at yourself and saying, "I need to lose weight to feel good about myself," you could remind yourself that your desire for weight loss comes from a primitive desire to feel connected, loved, and a sense of belonging and that changing your body is unlikely to really meet any of those goals or needs.

Instead of resolving to "do better tomorrow," you could ask, "How can I take care of my body right now?"

Your body is always communicating with you, so when you feel shameful, it is important to get curious and dig deeper to find the WHY.

If you felt that you ate too much at dinner, our initial reaction could be shame and guilt. However, what if you were just listening to your body and responding to what was needed at that moment.

Responding to a shame-driven action with shame isn't productive. Trusting our bodies and creating room for compassion can help to counteract shame and diet

Episode 34. This week I sat down with Dr. Heather Gunn, PhD. Dr. Gunn is an Assistant Professor at University of Alabama and a licensed Clinical Psychologist. In her role, she is engaged in research, teaching, mentoring, and service. Her goal is for individuals to have meaningful and engaging (and autonomy granting!) relationships and to be able to have restful sleep. Away from the office, she enjoys walking phone dates, exercise, baking, reading, and spending time with her husband and son and dog and cat. 

What to Expect In This Conversation:

We continue the conversation from last week. Make sure you check out Part 1 here.

Do you really HAVE to get your phone out of the bedroom? How to promote sleep in kiddos in a flexible wayWhat to do if you and your partner have very different sleep schedule preferencesAnd much more!

New to the Podcast and Blog? Welcome!

I’m so glad to have you. You might be wondering what this blog and podcast are all about.

We relate everything in this podcast back to motivation, but not the hustle and grind kind. Truly sustainable motivation that keeps you feeling energetic and engaged in your life for the long haul. We talk about why “I’m just not motivated” is a myth, and why the TYPE of motivation you have is so important to fully understand. If you are ready to learn about motivation and respecting your body in an effective way so that you can live a life you truly love, you are in the right place.

Check out the Foundational Episodes of the Motivation Made Easy Podcast here!

Introduction: What is this podcast all about?Episode 1: Want to Get & Stay Motivated? A Crash Course on Motivation, Weight Loss, and HealthEpisode 2: How Dieting Steals Our MotivationEpisode 3: How To Get Motivated To Improve Your Health (Motivation 101)Episode 4: How to Transform Health Fears Into Forward Progress

How to Build Truly Long-Term Sustainable Motivation

Do you ever feel like you are just going through the motions? Being pulled in a million directions, and not really spending your time the way you want to be? There are so many things to do, fires to put out, that self-care behaviors immediately go to the bottom of the list.

Then you feel angry and frustrated with yourself and the world, resolve to "be better" and then the cycle starts all over again?

I get this, and I still live this. Not in a diet mentality way now, but I still struggle with consistently prioritizing myself over all the other to dos. And yet, I know me doing so allows me to be the very best partner, partner, and do my best work.

One of the very first steps in developing truly internal motivation is to clarify what actually matters to you. Not your mom, not your sister, not your best friend, YOU. 

The more you reflect on this, the more you can move through your day knowing that even when it's hard to say not, and leave things undone, you are prioritizing your time in the way that's best for YOU.

If you've never clarified your values, the time is now. I do it early and often to stay grounded and make sure I'm using the precious time I have in this life in the ways that I wont regret. It's a work in process, but values clarification is something we rarely do and we honestly all need to. And I don't say that about many things.

Grab the free guide at DrHondorp.com/goals and get started today. I promise you, it’s never too late to stop dieting and start truly living. You will not regret it.

Do we really have to take our phones out of the bedroom?

Well in short, the answer is no.

It's true that focusing on or engaging in something on your phone late at night CAN mask sleepiness, and it's important to be aware of that and try to remain disciplined if it's affecting you negatively.

However, you don't NEED to take it out of the bedroom, as phones can also be very useful for sleep.

There are TONS of resources like podcasts, meditations, calming sleep sounds, and alarm clocks that can help us fall asleep at night and wake up on time in the morning.

Everyone is different and phones affect our sleep differently depending on who we are.

If you find yourself awake until 4 in the morning watching random youtube videos, it may be time to make some changes. But if you're able to use your phone before bed without becoming too engaged in media to the point of delaying your sleep, there's no need to remove it.

Building Autonomy in Kids- How does this benefit sleep?

Allowing kids to feel like they have some level of choice and control in regards to sleep establishes confidence.

Dr. Gunn talks about how it can be beneficial for kids to have structure when it comes to sleep, but WITHIN that structure, have autonomy as well.

That may look like allowing a young child to choose what book to read before bed. You decide WHEN they go to sleep, but give them some options as to HOW they go to sleep in the process.

After all, you can't make someone fall asleep, and preparing for sleep is very individualized.

The Impact of Sleep on Partner Relationships

Sleep actually plays a bigger role in relationships than we think.

It can be a point of tension for many, and it's key to know where that tension comes from and how to address it.

As Dr. Gunn states, the most common issue we see among couples when it comes to sleep is when one person is a night owl and the other is an early riser.

The person who goes to bed earlier may end up resenting the person who likes to stay up later because they aren't going to bed at the same time.

Why does this occur?

Well, most couples in our society view nighttime as the main opportunity for communication and connection. The majority of us are busy throughout the day, and that can push free time off until late at night.

Because of this, It can be healing and rewarding to try your best to find little moments throughout the day to connect with one another.

Sleep is Important!

And probably more important than you think.

Heather talks about how although this is not a focus in our society, consistent sleep is actually one of our MOST important health behaviors.

In order to achieve consistent sleep, it can be effective to look at your stress levels and the quality of your relationships. These factors play a HUGE role in quality of sleep as well as sense of security, and they are often completely overlooked in this context.

Heather emphasizes the importance of outside factors beautifully here:

“Think of your sleep as your little cocoon. What do you want in that cocoon that makes you feel connected and loved and effective and confident... and be mindful of what you bring into that”Dr. Heather Gunn, PhD

Our culture also tells us we need to constantly work harder and do better, and this is skyrocketing our stress levels and leading us to sacrifice sleep, which in turn is compromising our health.

So you have to remember that if you’re waking up super early to workout or do something that makes you feel productive but isn’t necessarily an obligation, you do have the choice to get more sleep instead. It is just as beneficial, if not more, for you to do that rather than trying to fill your morning with other behaviors.

It may make you feel better and make your days more enjoyable in the long run.

Main Takeaways: What You MUST Understand About Sleep

Most of us just need more sleep, and it's a behavioral issue. Many tend to push off downtime to later at night because there is just no time for it during the day. It's important to try and build little moments for rest and enjoyment into your day so that it doesn't get pushed into your nighttime routine as much. Think about where you can get add in time to yourself throughout your day. Any amount of time helps! Though phones do have the potential to mask sleepiness, they can also be useful tools for sleep. It's important to be aware of how smartphones can negatively impact sleep, and ensure that we maintain some level of discipline when it comes to using them at night. However, everyone is different and phones can provide tons of great tools to help us fall asleep and wake up on time. Reflect on how your phone impacts your sleep, and do what benefits you most!It's important for kids to have choice within a structure. Allowing kids to choose what book to read before bed or what stuffed animal to sleep with can be really beneficial. Sleep is incredibly individualized, and we all have different strategies for sleeping soundly. Sleep is largely intertwined with relationships. It's very common for couples to differ when it comes to sleeping habits, and this does have the ability to cause tension in relationships. Nighttime is notorious for being the time for connection in our culture, but it doesn't have to be that way. It can be helpful to find little moments in the morning or throughout the day to connect with one another so that it doesn't feel like that piece is missing if your sleep schedules differ from one another. Sleep, social relationships and stress are more important than you think! And these things are far too often overlooked. Consistent sleep is one of the most important health behaviors we can acquire, and the consistency of sleep can be impacted by stress and lack of support. It's so important to prioritize connection and communication to maintain positive and nurturing relationships. You also don't HAVE to fill your day to the brim with movement, work and activity. If you have extra time to sleep, then sleep!

Support Independent Bookstores Near You!

Did you know that that if nothing slows their momentum, Amazon will have almost 80% of the book market by the end of 2025?

Look, I love the convenience of Amazon, but I've got a super cool way that you can support local bookstores and my blog and podcast simply by buying books like you already do! You can choose any bookstore on the list in the US and Canada (they plan to expand to othe

Episode 33. This week I sat down with Dr. Heather Gunn, PhD. Dr. Gunn is an Assistant Professor at University of Alabama and a licensed Clinical Psychologist. In her role, she is engaged in research, teaching, mentoring, and service. Her goal is for individuals to have meaningful and engaging (and autonomy granting!) relationships and to be able to have restful sleep. Away from the office, she enjoys walking phone dates, exercise, baking, reading, and spending time with her husband and son and dog and cat. 

"Sleep is important." Well, duh.

I know you probably already know that sleep matters for your health, but in this conversation we are going to cover a take on sleep you probably never considered. Heather's area of focus is on sleep and interpersonal relationships, so we are going to cover standard behavioral treatments for sleep, and also how your relationship to people in your life, yourself, and your feelings of psychological safety matter a TON.

We had SO much important stuff to cover, that this is Part 1 of a 2 part series.

Here's What You Can Expect:

How much sleep do we need? (Hint: There isn't a hard and fast rule for everyone, and Heather will tell you how to know what the right amount for you is)"I don't have time to sleep!" How to recognize what you are trying to get for yourself by staying awake, and what to do about it.Ways to improve your sleep if you are having mild insomnia (wanting to sleep but you can't), or have had it for 15 years.How sleep relates to eating and weightWhy sleep got worse for so many of us during the pandemic and how to approach sleep during times of transitionHow hyperarousal and psychological safety relate to sleepHow much your physiology gets synced with the people around you and how this relates to sleep (and eating!)

New to the Podcast and Blog? Welcome!

I’m so glad to have you. You might be wondering what this blog and podcast are all about.

We relate everything in this podcast back to motivation, but not the hustle and grind kind. Truly sustainable motivation that keeps you feeling energetic and engaged in your life for the long haul. We talk about why “I’m just not motivated” is a myth, and why the TYPE of motivation you have is so important to fully understand. If you are ready to learn about motivation and respecting your body in an effective way so that you can live a life you truly love, you are in the right place.

Check out the Foundational Episodes of the Motivation Made Easy Podcast here!

Introduction: What is this podcast all about?Episode 1: Want to Get & Stay Motivated? A Crash Course on Motivation, Weight Loss, and HealthEpisode 2: How Dieting Steals Our MotivationEpisode 3: How To Get Motivated To Improve Your Health (Motivation 101)Episode 4: How to Transform Health Fears Into Forward Progress

How to Build Truly Long-Term Sustainable Motivation

Do you ever feel like you are just going through the motions? Being pulled in a million directions, and not really spending your time the way you want to be? There are so many things to do, fires to put out, that self-care behaviors immediately go to the bottom of the list.

Then you feel angry and frustrated with yourself and the world, resolve to "be better" and then the cycle starts all over again?

I get this, and I still live this. Not in a diet mentality way now, but I still struggle with consistently prioritizing myself over all the other to dos. And yet, I know me doing so allows me to be the very best partner, partner, and do my best work.

One of the very first steps in developing truly internal motivation is to clarify what actually matters to you. Not your mom, not your sister, not your best friend, YOU. 

The more you reflect on this, the more you can move through your day knowing that even when it's hard to say not, and leave things undone, you are prioritizing your time in the way that's best for YOU.

If you've never clarified your values, the time is now. I do it early and often to stay grounded and make sure I'm using the precious time I have in this life in the ways that I wont regret. It's a work in process, but values clarification is something we rarely do and we honestly all need to. And I don't say that about many things.

Grab the free guide at DrHondorp.com/goals and get started today. I promise you, it’s never too late to stop dieting and start truly living. You will not regret it.

Things we Just Aren't Considering When it Comes to Sleep, Eating, & Our Health

Heather says it so well here.

"I do think we tend to think of eating, exercise, sleep as such individualized behaviors, and we take it out of the context of the actual home people live in and what goes on in the house"Dr. Heather Gunn, PhD

What is Sleep? What Effects It? And Why Is It Important?

Having an adequate sleep schedule helps us to align our bodies' most important systems and maintain our homeostasis. Sleep affects EVERYTHING, and we can't not do it.

Our bodies actually have a pretty cool way of letting us know when we need to sleep. So how does it work?

Sleep Drive: Dr. Gunn states that generally, because of the way we have evolved over time, we are awake for about 16 hours and then our sleep drive kicks in. It contributes to what makes us feel ready for sleep, like when our eyes get really heavy or we think, "oh I could fall asleep right now".

Circadian Rhythm: She also notes that most of us operate on a day/night schedule, i.e. we are awake during the day and asleep at night. We all have an internal clock that tells us when our bodies are ready to rest and wake, and it varies based on our schedules, but it is typically aligned with the light/dark cycle.

Sleep is not individualized: It is intertwined with other functions in our body, and exhaustion can initiate a stress response that can take a huge toll on our mental and physical well-being. When we aren't getting enough sleep consistently, our body tells us we need an instant charge of energy in order to compensate, which manifests in cravings and an increased drive to eat highly processed or sugary foods.

How Much Sleep Should You Be Getting?

This depends, and Heather tells us actually the best way to know is to track how you feel. Intuitive Sleeping!

It's really important to note how you're feeling throughout the day. Yes, the average amount of sleep adults "should" be getting is somewhere between 7 and 9 hours, but sometimes it's necessary to remove those shoulds and take a more internal approach. The amount of sleep we need varies and tracking how you feel is a better gauge individually.

What is Insomnia?

"I want to sleep and I can't."

Many of us have experienced Insomnia at some point in our lives. It's more common than you think, but often goes undiagnosed or untreated. Chronic Insomnia can take a huge toll on health and overall quality of life, so it's important to note that treatment is actually fairly effective and can help significantly.

What is Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment for Insomnia and How Well Does it Work?

Well! 60-70% of people get better, in the people who we have studied. They tend to have insomnia only, without co-occurring psychological disorders.

There is more focus on behavioral treatment, and a little bit less on cognitive. The most effective procedures within this treatment have to do with reducing stimulating activity at night, like watching TV or scrolling through apps on your smartphone, and limiting the time that is spent in bed throughout the day.

Establishing your bed as the place you go to sleep rather than somewhere you sit throughout the day can actually make you fall asleep more easily at night, because you're associating your bed with sleeping.

So What Else Affects Our Sleep? How Do Psychological Safety and Relationships Matter Here?

Sleep is vulnerable. You're not unconscious but you're not awake and alert- it's an incredibly vulnerable position to be in. - Heather Gunn, PhD

Sleep is vulnerable because we aren't alert. Therefore, it's adaptive to be on alert if there are signs of a lack of safety.

This used to mean having a predator around.

Now it might mean:

Self-criticismPerfectionismHostility from a partnerHigh pressures you are putting on yourself for achievementActual lack of safety (e.g., unsafe neighborhood)Traumatic events

Tips to Improve Your Sleep - Do I Need to Take My Phone out of the Bedroom? Not necessarily!

Heather reminds us that we are all different and unique and just like eating, (shocker!) dogmatic rules aren't useful.

For some, the phone can be arousing and over-stimulating and mask sleepiness, and may cause insufficient sleep.

For others it may not. There are ways to use the technology effectively.

Examples include going on social media to help you wake up in the morning if you aren't a morning person, or using your phone to listen to a meditation. It's different for everyone, and it's important to find what works best for you.

Sleep and Kids - Helping Kids Feel Independent While Also Getting Them to Bed!

It can definitely be effective to tell kids when they need to go to bed, and establish a target time to do so every night. What can be really empowering and helpful for kids is allowing them the freedom to make autonomous decisions about HOW they will unwind at night and prepare to go to sleep.

This could mean reading a book or having a book read to them, listening to music, or more generally just doing something that brings them comfort. Going to sleep for the night can be anxiety-inducing for children, and it can be helpful to give them space to find something enjoyable and comforting to do before bed in order to alleviate this.

Sleep & Couples - When Bedtime Becomes a Fight

When couples have different sleep schedules, it can disrupt sleep and cause tension.

For example, if you like to go to sleep at around 9pm because you wake up e

Episode 32. Today I have the pleasure of talking with Dr. Jillian Murphy, ND.

Cutting the Diet Culture Cord

One thing that really becomes evident in the conversation with Dr. Murphy, is that anti-diet, weight inclusive approaches benefit all bodies. Not just people with eating disorders or in a certain body size, but ALL OF US. I'm really excited for you to listen to this interview, because we cover a lot and Dr. Murphy is a WEALTH of knowledge as she's been practicing naturopathic medicine in the weight inclusive space for a decade.

One thing that was super interesting to me is the fact that even when things feel "mild" in terms of "healthy eating", how much freedom you can still gain from cutting the diet culture cord.

I seriously learned a ton in this interview. Let's dive in!

In the interview, we cover:

Why Health at Every Size is not just a social movement, but an evidence-based movement rooted heavily in science. She breaks this down in a way that I truly haven't heard before, so make sure you stay tuned to really understand why and how this isn't just a "don't judge people for their body size" movement (though that's of course very important, too!)We talk about her training as a Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine and where her focus is, as well as the ways that her training, just like pretty much all standard training programs, were steeped in diet culture beliefs.Her experience with orthorexia and how she finally fully cut the diet culture cord.We talk about her work learning about competent eating through the Ellyn Satter Institute and the power of this approach for kids and adults. I'm SO excited for this part of this conversation, because we talk about a nuanced approach to moving towards a flexible, healthy, sustainable relationship with food called Competent Eating that can be really helpful for people who want more structure than Intuitive Eating provides. Super cool.

Want To Support Local Bookstores Near You?

Buy your books from Bookshop! Support local bookstores near you and this blog and podcast and help prevent Amazon from completely squashing the local book market.

Are You New Here?

Welcome! I’m so glad to have you. You might be wondering what this blog and podcast are all about.

We relate everything in this podcast back to motivation, but not the hustle and grind kind. Truly sustainable motivation that keeps you feeling energetic and engaged in your life for the long haul. We talk about why “I’m just not motivated” is a myth, and why the TYPE of motivation you have is so important to fully understand. If you are ready to learn about motivation and respecting your body in an effective way so that you can live a life you truly love, you are in the right place.

Check out the Foundational Episodes of the Motivation Made Easy Podcast here!

Introduction: What is this podcast all about?Episode 1: Want to Get & Stay Motivated? A Crash Course on Motivation, Weight Loss, and HealthEpisode 2: How Dieting Steals Our MotivationEpisode 3: How To Get Motivated To Improve Your Health (Motivation 101)Episode 4: How to Transform Health Fears Into Forward Progress

Are you ready to take that first step?

Are you sick of decision fatigue and feelings of overwhelm? You wake up feeling anxious, not sure what to eat or focus on in your day. Not exactly sure how to spend your time. Maybe you end up scrolling through your phone, or maybe you just jump into your emails. You don't really know what to prioritize.

You finish your day focused on all the things you didn't get done, frustrated and angry that you aren't more focused on what truly matters. Maybe you felt that you weren't present with your kids or loved ones. I know that's the one that hurts me the MOST.

Or maybe you are like okay, so don't focus on calorie counting or dieting, but what DO I focus on?

If you are ready to start getting clarity on this, it first starts with refining your values.

The #1 strategy I hear over and over that is MOST HELPFUL in developing autonomous and sustainable motivation, is to clarify your values. Have you done it yet? Or lately?

I for one do this regularly, particularly when I'm feeling a bit lost. And as a new entrepreneur, this happens quite often!

Grab the free guide at DrHondorp.com/goals which will walk you through step by step a process to get started on clarify what matters to you, and what you should be focusing on at this season of your life. I promise you, it’s never too late to stop dieting and start truly living.

Meet Dr. Jillian Murphy

Dr. Murphy is a licensed Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine, Coach, and affiliate of the Ellyn Satter Institute based in Kingston, Ontario Canada. She works with diverse, smart, health-conscious women who are DONE WITH DIETING, looking to get out of their heads and reconnect with their bodies. She uses cutting edge eating psychology, in-the-know insight & guidance around diet culture, health, and weight to teach women WHY they stay stuck in negative patterns around food and constant body dissatisfaction and how they can pursue health without falling back down the diet hole. 

Jillian also offers in depth courses for professionals & practitioners looking to grow their anti-diet, weight-inclusive businesses, feeling super confident in their practice and process. She currently offers both an 8 week intensive and a year long Mastermind offering up the very best support and education for newbies and highly-seasoned practitioners alike.

You can connect with Jillian at her website FoodFreedomBodyLove.com or on Instagram.

All Bodies Deserve Dignity and Respect

The Health at Every Size (HAES) movement aims to fight for the dignity and respect of all bodies. It's well documented that this doesn't occur, and there is no doubt that it's significantly harming our health.

There is no shortage of strategies for weight loss, but a critical piece of the overall picture that we're failing to consider is the lasting damage that these strategies have on body image, relationships with food, and self-respect. The approach that is currently being used is doing FAR more harm than good, and that is what HAES is trying to change.

Using size-focused methods for weight loss can be incredibly devastating in the long run. They aren't controllable, they don't consider behavior as a factor, and they are DEFINITELY not sustainable. Dr. Murphy mentions that the best strategies to use are behavior-based, and they zero in on altering mindset rather than using externally-focused "fixes".

Even though the dignity of diverse bodies is NOT prioritized in the health field currently and the strategies we commonly see reinforce that, there ARE ways we can combat this and make systemic change.

She premises it beautifully for us here:

"We don't know how to help people lose weight, that the strategies we've engaged in have been more harmful than helpful, that there is a much wider range of body diversity than the medical community currently allows for or normalizes, and that its all of these things that lead to the health issues that we're seeing."Dr. Jillian Murphy, ND

Health at Every Size - The Scientific Facts Behind the Movement

In addition to the very important social aspects of the movement, there's also an immense amount of science.

1. The clear causal relationship hasn't been established between weight and health outcomes

There are many points to make here.

The fact is that thinner people have all the conditions we blame on weight (heart disease, diabetes, cancer, PCOS) so for that reason alone we know it can't only be weight that is the problem.

We cannot establish a causal relationship with weight causing the health problems it's blamed on (e.g., heart disease, diabetes, PCOS, cancer, etc) because we cannot randomly assign two groups of people to be and stay at a certain weight (at least not safely) and study them for extended periods of time with nothing else changing.

This doesn't mean there isn't co-relations between weight and health, but we know it isn't as simple as "fat causes X" as so often is the assumption. There could also be underlying genetic causal relationships that are causing the weight gain and the disease process.

2. There is a much wider array of body diversity than the medical community currently allows for.

Biodiversity is a fact, and yet criteria like the BMI have such a narrow and speculative range for what we deem "healthy." This causes issues across the weight spectrum, like things being over diagnosed or missed completely.

3. Even if a causal relationship could be established, we don't have effective ways to help people lose weight long-term without collateral damage.

We didn't cover bariatric surgery in this interview, and people have mixed feelings/emotions on this, but I do think it's worth mentioning that I'm talking about behavioral weight loss. We don't currently have effective ways to help people lose weight and keep it off long term without a sacrifice of well-being, physically and emotionally.

Competent Eating as an Alternative or Complement to Intuitive Eating

Dr. Murphy talks about her training with the Ellyn Satter Institute on concepts like division of responsibility and competent eating and how this was initially done to support her work with children, but how this actually ended up being really useful for adults.

She talks about how some personalities or types of people really benefit from the structure that competent eating naturally provides and how this has become another tool in her toolkit that has been truly helpful to her and her patients.

Dr. Murphy said that this could be useful for various people, including but not limited to:

Neurodiverse people (people with Autism Spectrum Disorders, for example, or food sensitivities)Certain personality types People who feel truly overwhelmed and not able to get in touch with the

Episode 31. This week I sat down with Dr. Karen Stewart, PhD. This was a very important conversation where we talked about her own experiences with dieting and struggles with food, her ADHD diagnosis, and how her personal journey led her to eventually become a health psychologist. Here are some of the highlights of this interview so you know what to expect:

Her process of repeated dieting and eventually having gastric bypass surgery a few years agoHow she decides whether to share her story with her personal network and with patientsHer personal and professional goal of hers to increase awareness of the relationship between ADHD and eating behaviorAn overview of ADHD symptomsChanges in how it's diagnosedThe importance of understanding yourself and advocating for yourself with whatever psychological strengths and difficulties you might have

Want To Support Local Bookstores Near You?

Buy your books from Bookshop! Support local bookstores near you and this blog and podcast and help prevent Amazon from completely squashing the local book market.

Meet Dr. Karen Stewart

Dr. Karen Stewart is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in behavioral medicine with expertise in weight management, bariatric surgery, and the impact of mental health symptoms on efforts at lifestyle change. In particular, she is interested in the largely underrecognized impact of ADHD symptoms in adults who are struggling with healthy habits.  

Dr. Stewart has published a number of peer-reviewed articles and book chapters on assessment and treatment of a range of eating and weight related issues. She has also published in the area of integrated care and associated cost savings. Her career is focused on helping individuals realize their personal goals and the larger community by advocating for health care system change.

You can connect with Dr. Stewart on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram.

Are You New Here?

Welcome! I’m so glad to have you. You might be wondering what this blog and podcast are all about.

We relate everything in this podcast back to motivation, but not the hustle and grind kind. Truly sustainable motivation that keeps you feeling energetic and engaged in your life for the long haul. We talk about why “I’m just not motivated” is a myth, and why the TYPE of motivation you have is so important to fully understand. If you are ready to learn about motivation and respecting your body in an effective way so that you can live a life you truly love, you are in the right place.

Check out the Foundational Episodes of the Motivation Made Easy Podcast here!

Introduction: What is this podcast all about?Episode 1: Want to Get & Stay Motivated? A Crash Course on Motivation, Weight Loss, and HealthEpisode 2: How Dieting Steals Our MotivationEpisode 3: How To Get Motivated To Improve Your Health (Motivation 101)Episode 4: How to Transform Health Fears Into Forward Progress

“I’m terrified I’m wasting my life.”

I wrote this in a journal in the middle of the diet-binge cycle. And frankly, I kind of was.

I’m here to tell you it’s never too late to gain control of your eating, respect your body, and live a life that’s TRULY consistent with your values. But you need to take the first step.

One of the very first steps in developing truly autonomous and body respecting motivation is to clarify what actually matters to you. Not your mom, not your sister, not your best friend, YOU. 

The more you reflect on this, the more you can connect your values to your behaviors in a sustainable and empowering way. 

Grab the free guide at DrHondorp.com/goals and get started today. I promise you, it’s never too late to stop dieting and start truly living. You will not regret it.

Karen's Personal Journey with Eating & Weight Struggles

Karen briefly explains her own personal journey with weight struggles and repeated dieting. She talks about how she was caught in a dieting cycle for years before ultimately deciding to have gastric bypass surgery around 3 years ago.

ADHD and the Impact of Not Being Diagnosed Until Adulthood

Karen shares that she and her brother both have ADHD, but hers wasn't picked up on until adulthood. She goes on to talk about how the way ADHD presents in women and men and girls and boys can be very different, and many, many women are not diagnosed until adulthood or more specifically, until they become parents themselves and see it manifest in their own children.

ADHD is not a priority in the healthcare field and it goes undiagnosed more times than not, especially in women. It is possible to mask ADHD symptoms and learn how to cope with the disorder in some cases, so it's sometimes left unrecognized or even misdiagnosed.

People who are undiagnosed may struggle with activities of daily life more than the average person and work harder to get things done, but they may have no idea they're working harder because it's all they've ever known.

What is ADHD and How Do You Know if You Have It?

The symptoms fall into three main categories, and these categories present in very different ways. See table for overview of symptoms in DSM-5 here.

Inattentive: This area is characterized by poor listening skills, misplacing items, becoming sidetracked, and forgetting daily activities. Dr. Stewart mentions that this is the type of ADHD she has, and it is usually more difficult to diagnose because the symptoms are quieter and less obvious to other people.Hyperactive: Some telltale symptoms of hyperactive ADHD include fidgeting, restlessness, and always being on the go. This form of ADHD is easier to diagnose, as the symptoms are more at the forefront, and can significantly impact relationships. Impulsivity: People with ADHD in this area tend to interrupt people, intrude in conversations, and blurt out answers. Like hyperactivity, impulsivity is easier to recognize than inattentiveness.

Children who are 17 and under require 6 symptoms to receive a diagnosis, and adults 18 and over require just 5 symptoms.

ADHD is not truly a deficit of attention, it's actually a neurological difficulty in directing attention.- Dr. Karen Stewart, PhD

"The experience can be highly reinforcing, and deeply painful."

Dr. Stewart talks about how ADHD is extremely difficult to navigate, but it can also be a superpower in some respects. She shares that her ADHD causes her to hyper focus, and she doesn't think she would have gotten through her dissertation without it.

Hyperfocus caused her to hone in on very small details and truly immerse herself in the work for an extended period of time. She says that she probably spent a lot longer on the dissertation than she should have, but it allowed for a quality result in the end.

Assessment of ADHD

She talks about the fact that now, there is less focus on neuropsychological testing to diagnose ADHD, and more on the clinical history and functional effects of symptoms.

She also states that adult diagnosis of ADHD can be tricky. It can often be impeded by a lack of evidence of symptoms as a child, as ADHD is a developmental disorder and much of the diagnosis is based on childhood symptoms.

For many with the disorder, however, symptoms can be less prevalent in childhood due to several factors, including high levels of intelligence, clear expectations, and structure in school and home environments.

Because of these factors, some children don't really need to use many self-regulating skills at all.

ADHD, Eating, & Weight

There is an increased risk of obesity and a higher prevalence of emotional eating and eating struggles in some adults with ADHD.

But where does the correlation lie?

Where Might the Connection Be Between Weight & ADHD?

Association does not mean cause, but there is some longitudinal data suggesting that ADHD may cause weight gain. Mechanisms may include:

Increased binge eating and emotional eating: People with ADHD sometimes use food as a tool for emotional regulation.Impulsivity: Those with impulsive symptoms have trouble saying no. For example, if there is a chocolate cake on the table that looks delicious but you have trouble digesting it because you are lactose intolerant, you'd have to work twice as hard to turn it away because impulsivity causes you to only focus on the satisfaction you'll receive in the moment. Infrequent meals: Dr. Stewart uses the example of people who only eat one large meal per day to expand on this. Those who have trouble with organization caused by their ADHD tend to focus on one task for long periods of time rather than multiple tasks throughout the day. They also have trouble maintaining structure and sticking to plans, which can sometimes put meals on the back burner until later on, leading them to eventually eat just one large meal per day.Increased boredom and boredom eating: Boredom can be a common result of hyperactivity, and this can lead those who experience it to eat even when they aren't hungry.

The Importance of Understanding Yourself

It is so important to understand your symptoms and how they manifest in your everyday life. Actively working to remove blame from yourself and learning to recognize and work with the tendencies caused by your ADHD can be freeing.

Finding positive, internally motivated outlets to regulate boredom and negative emotions can also make a huge difference in struggles with emotional eating and binge eating, and can make life more enjoyable in general. Be kind to yourself. You've got this!

Main Takeaways

ADHD is often missed, particularly in women. Dr. Stewart shares that her brother was diagnosed as a child, but given that her symptoms were primarily inattentive, her ADHD went missed until she was 40.ADHD is underemphasized in the field. Dr. Stewart explains that ADHD is an area that is rarely considered in mental health in general, and rarely considered in terms of the impact it can have on weight and eating beha

Episode 30. This week I am going to share some of my reflections on the Health at Every Size® movement and how we will discuss this important topic on this podcast and in this blog. I cover why it isn't more widely accepted in medical settings and otherwise. And what we can do about it.

What to Expect in this Blog Post and Podcast Episode:

I will share some thought based on many conversations with my colleagues (Health at Every Size® -aligned and otherwise) as well as my clients.I will also share how I think about the Health at Every Size® movement, how it has shaped the language I use, and the approach I take. This conversation is great for healthcare professionals or people trying to navigate the healthcare system. I will also talk about other conversations we have had on the podcast about these crucial topics.I'll talk about why one of my major goals on this podcast is to have productive and respectful conversations about the Health at Every Size® movement and how weight inclusive approaches can be successfully incorporated into medicineWhere the movement misses the mark and may have blind spots, and what we can do about it.

So make yourself comfortable and let's dive in!

Are You New Here?

Welcome! I’m so glad to have you. You might be wondering what this blog and podcast are all about.

We relate everything in this podcast back to motivation, but not the hustle and grind kind. Truly sustainable motivation that keeps you feeling energetic and engaged in your life for the long haul. We talk about why “I’m just not motivated” is a myth, and why the TYPE of motivation you have is so important to fully understand. If you are ready to learn about motivation and respecting your body in an effective way so that you can live a life you truly love, you are in the right place.

Check out the Foundational Episodes of the Motivation Made Podcast here!

Introduction: What is this podcast all about?Episode 1: Want to Get & Stay Motivated? A Crash Course on Motivation, Weight Loss, and HealthEpisode 2: How Dieting Steals Our MotivationEpisode 3: How To Get Motivated To Improve Your Health (Motivation 101)Episode 4: How to Transform Health Fears Into Forward Progress

“I’m terrified I’m wasting my life.”

I wrote this in a journal in the middle of the diet-binge cycle. And frankly, I kind of was.

I’m here to tell you it’s never too late to gain control of your eating, respect your body, and live a life that’s TRULY consistent with your values. But you need to take the first step.

One of the very first steps in developing truly autonomous and body respecting motivation is to clarify what actually matters to you. Not your mom, not your sister, not your best friend, YOU. 

The more you reflect on this, the more you can connect your values to your behaviors in a sustainable and empowering way. 

Grab your free guide today at DrHondorp.com/goals. It’s never too late to stop dieting and start truly living.

The Health at Every Size® Framework

Just like Intuitive Eating, I think of Health at Every Size® as a framework. A way of viewing or orienting towards our health, weight, eating, etc. Dr. Lindo Bacon wrote the book Health at Every Size in 2010. I found the book and read it soon after I read Intuitive Eating in maybe 2014 or 2015. Then I remained working in the healthcare system, in a Preventive Cardiology clinic and a Bariatric Surgery clinic for several years.

Health at Every Size® - Some Data

In this book, Dr. Bacon makes several science-backed arguments that greatly question our current approach to weight loss. As we talk about in this podcast, the statistics are true that behavioral weight loss (e.g., diet and exercise) is really ineffective long-term.

There is a lot of data in this book, but in short, we cover the fact that although people with higher body weight are often associated with higher health risk, this does not imply causation.

Within this relationship (higher health risks occur more in larger bodies), we aren't taking into account things like stress, internalized weight stigma, and many other factors that greatly impact our health beyond just the number on the scale.

For a more detailed post on the science and data behind the Health at Every Size movement, please see this blog post and listen to my conversation with Dr. Jillian Murphy.

Health Habits Data

In the very first episode of this podcast, we review the data regarding health habits, and how if you are engaging in regular exercise, balanced eating, not drinking to excess and not smoking, your risk of death is the same regardless of your body mass index. See that episode post for a visual of this graph.

The Social Justice Component

But it's more than that. Because even that can be stigmatizing. Like, well if you are exercising all the time, eating perfectly and in a larger body, well okay, then I guess you're fine.

For a deeper understanding of the social component of the movement, please see the website for the Association for Size Diversity and Health.

But essentially, fatphobia, weight bias and/or weight discrimination (essentially terms for similar things) are crucial to consider if we actually want to move towards being healthier human beings.

Questioning our Paradigm

As I learned about Health at Every Size® I thought, "yeah, this makes sense."

And yet, very few people in healthcare have heard about Health at Every Size®. And it's still very misunderstood among those who do.

We talked about this on my previous episode with Annyck Besso, MS, RD, but I notice that many of the myths and misconceptions I have had are still very present, even among people who think they know what Health At Every Size® is about.

Health at Every Size® Myths

Some of the main myths I see, and I used to hold, include:

Health at Every Size® is against weight loss, and trying to normalize really unhealthy habits (e.g., eating a lot of processed foods)Health at Every Size® is promoting weight gain by normalizing unhealthy bodiesIt is against people making lifestyle changes to improve their healthIt is saying that everyone is and can be healthy at any size

Groups that Feel Unseen by Health at Every Size®

At times, I see people that I work with assume that HAES® supporters are just thin white women promoting this movement, without a full understanding of what it's like to be in a larger body. Which very well may be the case at times.

Additionally, people in larger bodies who learn about HAES® and still desire and pursue weight loss often can be made to feel feel that they are doing something wrong by doing so (they are not - the whole point of Health at Every Size is to reduce weight stigma and put people in all body sizes back in the driver's seat to make empowered choices for what is right for them and their body).

Health at Every Size® as a Framework for Acceptance and Honest Conversations

The way I see the HAES® movement, at least when we remove the extreme shaming among those who yell at people for using terms like food addiction (this is a whole other conversation entirely that I will semi-reluctantly delve into in the future), is that it provides a framework to challenge existing ideas and beliefs about bodies and health.

It helps us challenge the framework of "just lose weight" and challenge our assumptions about what that means.

It also is a social justice movement fighting for more equity and inclusion of diverse bodies, which therein improves our health and well-being.

Can you support the HAES® Movement and Still Choose Bariatric Surgery?

I think the answer is yes.

Autonomy means full choice without excessive pressure. So within any framework, Intuitive Eating or Health at Every Size®, we can choose what feels right for us.

Do we need to rethink our obsession with weight loss as the end-all-be-all and pressure towards surgery? Yes, we really do.

We have to ask ourselves: Are we really supporting autonomy if we say things like "weight loss surgery is never a good idea."

I don't think we are.

Can you support the HAES® Movement and Still Choose to Focus on Health-Promoting Fields like Plant-Based Education, Lifestyle Medicine, Etc?

I absolutely think so. In fact, I think it's crucial that we do so.

Can you support Health at Every Size®, and still choose to research concepts like food addiction, and look at ways to call out the food industry for the things that they have done to our health?

Again, yes. I very much think that you can.

What about supporting HAES® and plant-based nutrition as a solution to some of the health related and economic and environmental challenges we are having? Check out what Dr. Yami Cazorla-Lancaster is up to on the Veggie Doctor Radio for some excellent content on these topics.

At Times, You May Not Feel Like You Fully Belong Anywhere, But What if You Belonged to Yourself?

Brene Brown talks about the basic human need to feel that we belong. And of course, Self-Determination Theory says the exact same thing.

It's tempting to try to jump into a camp and believe everything they believe. But that isn't always the right thing to do. That isn't always what is best. In fact, it almost never is. Because it doesn't make sense that even one person would have the 100% exact aligned experiences and beliefs that we do.

So why do we think we have to 100% agree with everyone in the same social movement as us?

Finding True Belonging Within Ourselves

I believe in the Health at Every Size® movement deeply. But I absolutely don't agree with all of the things people inside that movement do and say. I imagine that I and other Health at Every Size® movement aligned persons agree on a whole bunch of topics, maybe even 97% of them, but all?? That's ludicrous.

We need to be having conversations with those we disagree with, respectfully,...

Episode 29. This week I am going to reflect on some of the things I've learned and noticed while working with my clients lately. This episode will dive into questions like:

Can you be an intuitive eater and still follow a certain style of eating, like plant-based, Mediterranean diet, or intermittent fasting? Heads up: These are complicated questions and answers with nuanced responses but I'm excited to dive into them.How do you know if you are really listening to your body, or giving in to pressures of others with regards to what you "should" eat? What if I really want to be vegan or go more plant-based but I'm worried it will become yet another diet? How can I tell what my underlying motivation actually is?

One of the things I've noticed in my time in the field is how confused people get when we say the word diet. Understandably so! This post and episode are going to break down some terms so that we are all on the same page, and really dig in to what makes dieting truly harmful, what aspects are pretty harmless (e.g., the word diet being used to describe simply how you are eating), and how this is going to vary from person to person. So, we will talk about some ways to know where you are at in your journey, and help yourself focus on what's important now, versus getting thrown off track by various health messages that we are all bombarded with on a daily basis!

Are You New Here?

Welcome! I’m so glad to have you. You might be wondering what this blog and podcast are all about.

We relate everything in this podcast back to motivation, but not the hustle and grind kind. Truly sustainable motivation that keeps you feeling energetic and engaged in your life for the long haul. We talk about why “I’m just not motivated” is a myth, and why the TYPE of motivation you have is so important to fully understand. If you are ready to learn about motivation and respecting your body in an effective way so that you can live a life you truly love, you are in the right place.

Check out the Foundational Episodes of the Motivation Made Easy Podcast here!

Introduction: What is this podcast all about?Episode 1: Want to Get & Stay Motivated? A Crash Course on Motivation, Weight Loss, and HealthEpisode 2: How Dieting Steals Our MotivationEpisode 3: How To Get Motivated To Improve Your Health (Motivation 101)Episode 4: How to Transform Health Fears Into Forward Progress

“I’m terrified I’m wasting my life.”

I wrote this in a journal in the middle of the diet-binge cycle. And frankly, I kind of was.

I’m here to tell you it’s never too late to gain control of your eating, respect your body, and live a life that’s TRULY consistent with your values. But you need to take the first step.

One of the very first steps in developing truly autonomous and body respecting motivation is to clarify what actually matters to you. Not your mom, not your sister, not your best friend, YOU. 

The more you reflect on this, the more you can connect your values to your behaviors in a sustainable and empowering way. 

Grab the free guide at DrHondorp.com/goals and get started today. I promise you, it’s never too late to stop dieting and start truly living. You will not regret it.

Intuitive Eating as a Framework, Not Dogma

Intuitive Eating is a self-care framework that began back in 1995 with a book called Intuitive Eating written by dietitians Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch.

It's an incredible book, and it's now on it's 4th edition.

I did a prior episode called What is Intuitive Eating and How Can It Help Me? where we went into the 10 principles in some depth. I will be having some guests coming up talking more about the HOW of Intuitive Eating, so make sure you stay tuned for those.

Intuitive Eating as a Framework for Regaining Autonomy

Autonomous motivation or autonomous choice is freedom to behave a certain way without excessive pressure.

There are many components to Intuitive Eating, but one that I believe is incredibly powerful with regards to making autonomous choices or feeling free and in control is related to the concept of unconditional permission to eat. This means that you throw out food rules and shoulds and you truly give yourself permission to eat, meaning you choose an eating style that is right for you.

For most, this requires a lot of trial and error, particularly in the beginning as you are essentially learning how to eat in response to your body's cues versus some external "expert" telling you what to eat.

Most dieters, myself included, find this challenging or at least very, very different than what they are used to.

Giving Ourselves True Choice Means Moving Beyond Old Food Judgments

A lot of times when I see someone struggling to implement an intuitive eating framework, they are struggling with the concept that it truly is okay to eat any food. Many times, old diet mentality, "should" thinking and fears around food have them thinking things like:

But there's no nutritional value in this foodBut if I eat this, I will feel really badly, so I really can't (physically and emotionally)Well yeah, don't be rigid, but I truly don't need to eat a whole pizza, that isn't healthyI can't do Intuitive Eating, I have diabetesI can't do this, my body mass index says I'm "obese"

The interesting thing about intuitive eating is really this idea that many people truly DON'T believe they have a choice. And therein lies the problem. You ALWAYS have a choice. Yes, some food choices are going to make you feel better than others, and some food choices, if you make them again and again, absolutely could lead to worsening health. But it's still a choice even when it does not feel like it. You just aren't giving it to yourself.

If you are like most people, you might have some objections to that statement. Like "Shawn, you are NOT getting this. I have no choice. I must improve my health NOW, so I can X, Y, Z."

I hear you, but stay with me.

"But Shawn, I Really Don't Have a Choice. I have to change NOW."

A few months ago, I gave a virtual talk to some folks that were working on finishing their dissertations. I was talking about having autonomous motivation and how to turn a should into a want to, or a "choose to."

I shared that it's important to remind yourself you do actually have a choice. You can finish your dissertation, or not. It's your life. You actually do have autonomy.

One of the talk participants challenged me. She said, "No, I really don't have a choice. If I don't finish, I will have to pay back money that I got for a scholarship. I need to finish so I can get a job, not have to pay back that money, and support my children." She seemed frustrated with the idea or the suggestion that she had a choice. I imagine she probably thought I didn't fully understand her situation.

We Always Have a Choice, Even when There are Very Negative Consequences to a Certain Choice

People often tell me they don't have a choice. They have to eat better. This happened in many settings, but especially often when I worked in a cardiology clinic and would work with people in cardiac rehab after they had a heart attack. Many times they would be following a low sodium, low animal products diet, and would tell me, "I have to do this now, Shawn. I have no choice."

Often they had concerned family members nagging them about every morsel that they put in their mouth, which understandably they were not a fan of.

Again, I'd challenge them. Actually, you do have a choice. "Right now, you are choosing to follow that diet and listen to your family, and your doctor."

My statements are not an attempt to minimize the consequences if they were to, for example, return to their previous high animal protein and high stress diet. However, instead they were an attempt to remind them they do have agency in their life, even when it does not feel like it.

Side Note: I'm not going to delve into the discussion today about whether all behaviors are a choice versus part of a disease. Not because that discussion isn't important, but it's VERY nuanced and we just don't have time. I'm referring to people feeling forced into making a certain choice because of external pressures (e.g., I must be thin, healthy, I must finish this doctoral program), versus feeling like they have autonomy and agency over their life.

Intuitive Eating Explained

Choice Means Freedom - With Food and Otherwise

When I was in grad school, my friend Dr. Sapna Doshi and I would commiserate on the length of the program. It's a long haul. 5-6 years total after undergrad depending on your pace through it.

We would often tell each other, "Just finish your master's degree, then you can quit if you want." We were... mostly joking. I think. But it made us feel better. Less stuck. Mind you, it would have been quite a poor financial choice to do this, similar to the person I mentioned above.

Have you ever done this? Reminded yourself you have choices, an out, options to feel less pressure and less stuck? I've done this with work too. Even if I didn't plan on leaving a job anytime soon, I'd tell myself, "hey, if it gets too bad, you have options."

Even the process of job searching at times could feel freeing. Like, "Okay, you aren't stuck here. You do have choices."

I can't tell you how many of my friends in grad school would fantasize and say "If this doesn't work out, I can just open a cute little coffee shop!"

Choice is a Privilege

I do realize that having choices is a privilege and not everyone has the same choices or opportunities whatsoever, and that's a major problem. It's something that needs to change. Frankly, the whole conversation about moving away from diet culture and towards intuitive eating and health is often one filled with immense privilege.

As a person with many forms of privilege, I realize that sometimes people's frustrations with my reminders that they have choice comes

Episode 28. This week I am incredibly excited to talk to Dr. Adia Gooden, PhD, all about how to develop unconditional self-worth.

This is a very important topic that frankly, all humans need to hear about.

I bet this isn't the first time you've heard someone talk about the importance of valuing your worth. Maybe you've heard messages about cultivating self-love and compassion.

Maybe you even watched the Sturt Smalley SNL skit and tried saying affirmations to yourself. "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me!" (Video linked here for your viewing pleasure).

In all seriousness, Dr. Gooden has some amazing practical strategies you can start implementing today that just might change your life.

This conversation may just might be the difference that makes the difference for you.

Are You New Here?

Welcome! I'm so glad to have you. You might be wondering what this blog and podcast are all about.

We relate everything in this podcast back to motivation, but not the hustle and grind kind. Truly sustainable motivation that keeps you feeling energetic and engaged in your life for the long haul. We talk about why "I'm just not motivated" is a myth, and why the TYPE of motivation you have is so important to fully understand. If you are ready to learn about motivation and respecting your body in an effective way so that you can live a life you truly love, you are in the right place.

Check out the Foundational Episodes of the Motivation Made Podcast here!

Introduction: What is this podcast all about?Episode 1: Want to Get & Stay Motivated? A Crash Course on Motivation, Weight Loss, and HealthEpisode 2: How Dieting Steals Our MotivationEpisode 3: How To Get Motivated To Improve Your Health (Motivation 101)Episode 4: How to Transform Health Fears Into Forward Progress

"I'm terrified I'm wasting my life."

I wrote this in a journal in the middle of the diet-binge cycle. And frankly, I kind of was.

I’m here to tell you it’s never too late to gain control of your eating, respect your body, and live a life that’s TRULY consistent with your values. But you need to take the first step.

One of the very first steps in developing truly autonomous and body respecting motivation is to clarify what actually matters to you. Not your mom, not your sister, not your best friend, YOU. 

The more you reflect on this, the more you can connect your values to your behaviors in a sustainable and empowering way. 

Grab the free guide at DrHondorp.com/goals and get started today. I promise you, it’s never to late to stop dieting and start truly living. You will not regret it.

Introducing Dr. Adia Gooden, PhD, Your New Favorite Self-Worth Expert

Today I have the pleasure of talking with Dr. Adia Gooden. Dr. Gooden received her bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Stanford University and her PhD in Clinical Community Psychology from DePaul University. 

She delivered an incredible Tedx Talk about Cultivating Unconditional Self-Worth. She left academia and became an entrepreneur and now has a top-rated podcast called Unconditionally Worthy and an online program that helps people discover the power of their unconditional self-worth.

She is a native of Southern California and resides in Chicago. Music and summer festivals spark immense joy in her life, and she loves cooking and dancing.

Welcome to the Motivation Made Easy podcast, Dr. Gooden!

Perfectionism: An Attempt to Defend Against Unworthiness

Dr. Gooden opens up about how struggles with self-worth manifested in her life growing up. She shares:

On the outside, things were great, but I often felt that I was unlovable and unworthy and I decided I needed to try to be perfect.Dr. Adia Gooden

The Role of Comparative Suffering

This brings us back to what we learned in Episode 26 about comparative suffering. All pain is valid, no matter the circumstances, and no one benefits when we don't acknowledge that pain.

Adia shares a significant event in her personal journey, which occurred moments after she delivered her dissertation defense. She immediately walked out the door and started crying.

She performed well enough to pass, but passing was not perfection, and even this incredibly high achievement wasn’t enough to make her feel proud or worthy of what she had accomplished.

External Validation of Worth Isn't Sustainable

External validation of worth - be it a doctoral degree or losing 50 lbs - are common motivators.

Longing for approval and validations from others will always drive us.

It has likely driven many of your choices.

And yet, it is not a sustainable way to live. And many times, as Dr. Gooden found, it simply does not work.

Psychologists are Humans Too

Psychologists are taught that self-disclosure is, for the most part, off limits. But why?

This is heavily rooted in the fact that Psychology was founded by white, upper class, cisgender, straight men. There was this belief embedded in our society that we can be totally objective, and focus on treating people without building a relationship with them. 

Psychologists are the experts. Patients or clients are the learners.

In reality, we are all just human beings.

Sharing our stories can be incredibly healing not only for ourselves, but for others as well. Coming together in commonality makes us feel less alone and inspires others to use their voices too.

How Self-Worth Relates Directly to Autonomy

Autonomy means freedom of choice without excessive pressure.

The idea that you know what's best for you ultimately, once given the options.

What a shocking idea.

Dr. Gooden states it well:

And being in relationship to yourself relates to autonomy. It's like letting go of these outside sources of expertise and really truly connecting to your own internal wisdom, your intuition, your values, how you want to show up for and with yourself that's really powerful.Dr. Adia Gooden, PhD

Retelling Your Story

We are making meaning all the time of the things that happen to us. When we are caught up in a negative headspace, we tend to be incredibly unfair towards ourselves, and interpret events as our fault, and to be a source of shame.

This is common, and even more common in response to trauma. AND, it's incredibly important to become mindful of our stories and how we are interpreting and telling them.

Our story of shame and guilt about our history of trauma, emotional eating, and weight gain has the possibility to become one of resilience and triumph. Of learning to forgive ourselves for being imperfect humans who do things we'd rather just forget, and instead embracing our imperfections as beautiful aspects of who we are.

How Does This Relate to Your Relationship with Food?

First and foremost, it's important to acknowledge your privilege.

Dr. Gooden introduces the term "size privilege" as an alternative to "thin privilege".

In today's society, people deem certain sizes more worthy and desirable than other sizes. Although it is important to acknowledge struggles with body image at every size, it is just as important to recognize that larger bodies are constantly criticized and underrepresented in the media, and society continues to praise and cater to smaller bodies more. 

There are many ways that society feeds us doubt about our bodies if we weigh more, and how this can easily lead to feelings of unworthiness. It is incredibly damaging, as the lower self-worth often caused by diet culture and weight stigma feeds into further desire to diet and repeat the cycle (in which the most likely outcome is weight gain).

Dr. Gooden actively helps us work on the roots of the tree. The roots keep us grounded, and the strength of the roots determine how the branches and leaves grow and hold up over time.

"I Need to Improve My Self-Worth Before I Can be Vulnerable."

Dr. Gooden talks about how practicing self-compassion first can set us up for success. It may be rewarding to practice this before feeling the vulnerability that comes with taking big risks or striving to achieve our most important and desired goals.

However, it's also important to realize that we will never be perfectly grounded in our self-worth. It's a process, and that's okay.

The analogy of a child learning to swim is relevant here: You will gradually get better by practicing, and that will improve your confidence over time, leading you to work on it more and more.

An Evolution of Self-Worth

You can work on yourself and your worth while gradually pursuing things you value.

Learning to cultivate better self-worth takes time, and it’s not a perfect science. It isn’t something that we should look to achieve, but rather something to always be intentional about, and always be open to improving. Baby steps.

With that being said, we can’t get stuck in the idea of perfectionism. What we do in our own lives is our decision, and we should never avoid doing things that feel valuable to us.

It is completely okay to simultaneously work on self-worth and pursue difficult things that could lead to more fulfillment in life. Through doing hard things, we acquire the tools needed to lift ourselves up when we feel like quitting. It’s all gradual, and we’re all on our own time.

Common Barriers to Unconditional Self-Worth

Perfectionism. Be careful not to characterize unconditional self-worth as an achievement, or turn it into something that can be done right or wrong. This mindset can easily lead to fear of starting due to fear of failing.

Not Connecting to Values. Make sure you are taking time and space to connect to your values, and ensure you are not avoiding what's truly important to you.

Giving in to Societal Obligations. We talked about how so much of our world is in a finite mindset, and how there is too much emphasis on right and wrong. When we place too much value in "shoulds",...