The Interracial Couple

How does race affect our relationship?

We identify as interacial couple because of the color of our skin. Otherwise, we would just be a regular couple. The last few weeks have been intense for Black people in America. First George Floyd and now Jacob Blake and countless of other people unnamed here. There is no time to heal or take a break. It’s exhausting. It can put me in a state of anger all the time, if I’m not careful. No matter how much time I spend in mediation, it’s affecting our relationship. 

In this Weeks podcast we discuss 

1. How current race tension in our country affects our relationship
2. How we navigate the race conversation as a couple
3. How Cera checked out of life when it got to be too much to take
4. How matthew holds the space as the ally

ABOUT US
MATTHEW started his career as an accidental filmmaker. He wrote a “practice script,”  hoping one day he could write one that he could sell or produce. That script became his first film, “Senses of Place,” which went on to win awards on the film festival circuit and was distributed by FilmBuff. 

Matthew then moved to Hollywood where he eventually made nine feature films, eight documentaries, and worked with actors Carrie-Anne Moss, Zac Efron, Edi Gathegi, Melora Hardin and many more. He worked with producers Kevin Costner, Bill Borden – Academy Award winner Francis Ford Coppola and Oscar-nominated director Mike Johnson. He has even shared the screen with Josh Brolin, Neil Patrick Harris, Kane Hodder, Naveen Andrews, and many more.

Last year, he released the documentary film, “Hardball: The Girls of Summer.” Currently, he lives between California and East Africa, writing and developing new projects, while consulting on film and TV projects. 

Visit his website to see his work – or check him out on IMDb.com

CERA graduated from UCLA with a degree in International Development and Entrepreneurship in 2018, after living in Los Angeles for eight years. 

She grew up in rural Kenya and at the age of nine, she lost her childhood home to civil war. That forced her to move to a Nairobi ghetto, where she experienced a different kind of poverty.

This experience shaped her mission. She returned to Kenya to start Ecodunia, a social enterprise that makes a difference in the lives of the poor by creating work opportunities and educating girls from under-priviledged communities. Ecodunia is not only driven by profit, but with a mission to lift people out of generational poverty, while making beautiful, useful and sustainable products. 

We made a big mess earlier this week, and it was either we owned up to our mistakes or leave our relationship with my brother and his wife in ruins. It was a tough dilemma. How do you apologize after winning an argument?

It did not take us long before Cera and I trooped back to my brother's house to take responsibility for the messed up day. The occasion was made even more embarrassing by having to swallow our big servings of humble pie in front of their friend. 

On this week's episode of ''The Interracial Podcast', we're revisit the times each of us had to take responsibility for a mess we'd created, and how to handle situations as a couple where each of you is on the right.

As Marshall Rosenberg says in 'Non-violent Communication', it is important to let your own needs be heard while also listening to the needs of others.

ABOUT US
MATTHEW started his career as an accidental filmmaker. He wrote a “practice script,”  hoping one day he could write one that he could sell or produce. That script became his first film, “Senses of Place,” which went on to win awards on the film festival circuit and was distributed by FilmBuff. 

Matthew then moved to Hollywood where he eventually made nine feature films, eight documentaries, and worked with actors Carrie-Anne Moss, Zac Efron, Edi Gathegi, Melora Hardin and many more. He worked with producers Kevin Costner, Bill Borden – Academy Award winner Francis Ford Coppola and Oscar-nominated director Mike Johnson. He has even shared the screen with Josh Brolin, Neil Patrick Harris, Kane Hodder, Naveen Andrews, and many more.

Last year, he released the documentary film, “Hardball: The Girls of Summer.” Currently, he lives between California and East Africa, writing and developing new projects, while consulting on film and TV projects. 

Visit his website to see his work – or check him out on IMDb.com

CERA graduated from UCLA with a degree in International Development and Entrepreneurship in 2018, after living in Los Angeles for eight years. 

She grew up in rural Kenya and at the age of nine, she lost her childhood home to civil war. That forced her to move to a Nairobi ghetto, where she experienced a different kind of poverty.

This experience shaped her mission. She returned to Kenya to start Ecodunia, a social enterprise that makes a difference in the lives of the poor by creating work opportunities and educating girls from under-priviledged communities. Ecodunia is not only driven by profit, but with a mission to lift people out of generational poverty, while making beautiful, useful and sustainable products.

Last week we challenged ourselves to do a 7 days' long water fast. Yes, no food, just water. 

Mark you, three days before the water fast, we prepped our bodies by only taking fresh greens. And even when we got to breaking the fast, we stayed away from carts and most solid foods for a couple of days. So in effects it's been almost a fortnight since we ate as we used to before.

It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life. According to Matthew, doing the week long fast was a tougher challenge than what he faced climbing Mt Kenya itself. 

On this week's episode of 'It's Not All Black & White', we discuss:

1. Why the first three days of fasting are the hardest

2. Why we did the fast: no, it wasn't about losing weight or religion

3. The effects of fasting on our senses, routines and relationship

4. Matthew's first fasting experience marking Yom Kippur

5. Why Cera doesn't do 'all you can eat' buffets

The opinions expressed here are our own observations. They should not be taken as medical advice. Please consult your physician should you wish to do the fast challenge.


BIOS

MATTHEW started his career as an accidental filmmaker. He wrote a “practice script,”  hoping one day he could write one that he could sell or produce. That script became his first film, “Senses of Place,” which went on to win awards on the film festival circuit and was distributed by FilmBuff. 

Matthew then moved to Hollywood where he eventually made nine feature films, eight documentaries, and worked with actors Carrie-Anne Moss, Zac Efron, Edi Gathegi, Melora Hardin and many more. He worked with producers Kevin Costner, Bill Borden – Academy Award winner Francis Ford Coppola and Oscar-nominated director Mike Johnson. He has even shared the screen with Josh Brolin, Neil Patrick Harris, Kane Hodder, Naveen Andrews, and many more.

Last year, he released the documentary film, “Hardball: The Girls of Summer.” Currently, he lives between California and East Africa, writing and developing new projects, while consulting on film and TV projects.

Visit his website to see his work – or check him out on IMDb.com

CERA graduated from UCLA with a degree in International Development and Entrepreneurship in 2018, after living in Los Angeles for eight years. 

She grew up in rural Kenya and at the age of nine, she lost her childhood home to civil war. That forced her to move to a Nairobi ghetto, where she experienced a different kind of poverty.

This experience shaped her mission. She returned to Kenya to start Ecodunia, a social enterprise that makes a difference in the lives of the poor by creating work opportunities and educating girls from under-priviledged communities. Ecodunia is not only driven by profit, but with a mission to lift people out of generational poverty, while making beautiful, useful and sustainable products. 

As people who thrive on routine, Matthew and I have been drifting for the last few months since we lost our morning rituals. It all started back in Kenya with the uncertainties about our travel back to the States due to the pandemic. Yet even after we finally arrived here, it feels like we're still in the air -being blown around at the mercy of other people's schedules and other things going on in the world. This has culminated in a slow spiral into a kind of depression for both of us.

So last night and during our walk this morning, we had to reflect on how we ended up here and how we can get back on track.

On this week's episode of 'It's Not All Black & White', we discuss:

1. The need for each partner in a relationship to stick to their routine even after the other falls off the wagon
2. Whether it's such a bad thing at all to be in the funk sometimes
3. How to be kind to yourself even after not living up to your own expectations for the day
4. The best time to start taking charge of your day or week
5. Why your routines don't have to be first degree fun


ABOUT US
MATTHEW started his career as an accidental filmmaker. He wrote a “practice script,”  hoping one day he could write one that he could sell or produce. That script became his first film, “Senses of Place,” which went on to win awards on the film festival circuit and was distributed by FilmBuff. 

Matthew then moved to Hollywood where he eventually made nine feature films, eight documentaries, and worked with actors Carrie-Anne Moss, Zac Efron, Edi Gathegi, Melora Hardin and many more. He worked with producers Kevin Costner, Bill Borden – Academy Award winner Francis Ford Coppola and Oscar-nominated director Mike Johnson. He has even shared the screen with Josh Brolin, Neil Patrick Harris, Kane Hodder, Naveen Andrews, and many more.

Last year, he released the documentary film, “Hardball: The Girls of Summer.” Currently, he lives between California and East Africa, writing and developing new projects, while consulting on film and TV projects. 

Visit his website to see his work – or check him out on IMDb.com

CERA graduated from UCLA with a degree in International Development and Entrepreneurship in 2018, after living in Los Angeles for eight years.

She grew up in rural Kenya and at the age of nine, she lost her childhood home to civil war. That forced her to move to a Nairobi ghetto, where she experienced a different kind of poverty.

This experience shaped her mission. She returned to Kenya to start Ecodunia, a social enterprise that makes a difference in the lives of the poor by creating work opportunities and educating girls from under-priviledged communities. Ecodunia is not only driven by profit, but with a mission to lift people out of generational poverty, while making beautiful, useful and sustainable products. 

Coming to America 

We moved from black Kenya to white rural America last month. We were living in Kenya the last year and half and have now moved to Sonoma County in California. Our initial plan before COVID was to come to the States for 3 months- attend Graduation and see friends and Family and then move to Nairobi indifinitely. As the pandemic hit all our plans changed. 

We figured it makes sense for us and our business that we are in the States while there are so many unknowns and instability in the world. So here we are - living very different lives than we did last year. 

In our Coming to America episode, we discuss:

1. Our lives in Kenya the last year and half
2. Life in Sonoma County
3. How Nakuru Kenya is different from Sonoma County in California 
4. White man living in majority black nation
5. Black woman living in majority white county

ABOUT US

MATTHEW started his career as an accidental filmmaker. He wrote a “practice script,”  hoping one day he could write one that he could sell or produce. That script became his first film, “Senses of Place,” which went on to win awards on the film festival circuit and was distributed by FilmBuff. 

Matthew then moved to Hollywood where he eventually made nine feature films, eight documentaries, and worked with actors Carrie-Anne Moss, Zac Efron, Edi Gathegi, Melora Hardin and many more. He worked with producers Kevin Costner, Bill Borden – Academy Award winner Francis Ford Coppola and Oscar-nominated director Mike Johnson. He has even shared the screen with Josh Brolin, Neil Patrick Harris, Kane Hodder, Naveen Andrews, and many more.

Last year, he released the documentary film, “Hardball: The Girls of Summer.” Currently, he lives between California and East Africa, writing and developing new projects, while consulting on film and TV projects. 

Visit his website to see his work – or check him out on IMDb.com

CERA graduated from UCLA with a degree in International Development and Entrepreneurship in 2018, after living in Los Angeles for eight years. 

She grew up in rural Kenya and at the age of nine, she lost her childhood home to civil war. That forced her to move to a Nairobi ghetto, where she experienced a different kind of poverty.

This experience shaped her mission. She returned to Kenya to start Ecodunia, a social enterprise that makes a difference in the lives of the poor by creating work opportunities and educating girls from under-priviledged communities. Ecodunia is not only driven by profit, but with a mission to lift people out of generational poverty, while making beautiful, useful and sustainable products. 

Not everything is all fun and games. Or more like, some fun and games got us pretty close to calling it quits. On this episode of The Interracial Couple Podcast, we share 9 Things that almost made us break up. Spoiler alert - those 9 things have nothing on us. We’re still together.

• Cera read a Hollocaust book while Matthew read a comedy book
• Packing for Burning Man
• Packing for a move Africa
• One week of silent treatment
• “Your father is being an a**hole”
• Cera felt abandoned and neglected on a holiday trip to meet Matthew’s friends and family
• Matthew driving too close to the wall… Cera claims he’s a reckless driver
• Matthew got out of the car on the way to a brunch party - and went to the movies by himself
• Cera had to eat too much white people’s food when she moved in

ABOUT US
CERA graduated from UCLA with a degree in International Development and Entrepreneurship in 2018, after living in Los Angeles for eight years. 

She grew up in rural Kenya and at the age of nine, she lost her childhood home to civil war. That forced her to move to a Nairobi ghetto, where she experienced a different kind of poverty.

This experience shaped her mission. She returned to Kenya to start Ecodunia, a social enterprise that makes a difference in the lives of the poor by creating work opportunities and educating girls from under-priviledged communities. Ecodunia is not only driven by profit, but with a mission to lift people out of generational poverty, while making beautiful, useful and sustainable products.

MATTHEW started his career as an accidental filmmaker. He wrote a “practice script,”  hoping one day he could write one that he could sell or produce. That script became his first film, “Senses of Place,” which went on to win awards on the film festival circuit and was distributed by FilmBuff. 

Matthew then moved to Hollywood where he eventually made nine feature films, eight documentaries, and worked with actors Carrie-Anne Moss, Zac Efron, Edi Gathegi, Melora Hardin and many more. He worked with producers Kevin Costner, Bill Borden – Academy Award winner Francis Ford Coppola and Oscar-nominated director Mike Johnson. He has even shared the screen with Josh Brolin, Neil Patrick Harris, Kane Hodder, Naveen Andrews, and many more.

Last year, he released the documentary film, “Hardball: The Girls of Summer.” Currently, he lives between California and East Africa, writing and developing new projects, while consulting on film and TV projects. 

Visit his website to see his work – or check him out on IMDb.com

Email thoughts and questions to [email protected] 

When we started dating, we were “forced” into waiting to have sex. Cera and I were so hot for each other, but her best friend bet her she coudln’t wait until the end of the month to have sex. Matthew wanted her to win the bet - so we waited.  

In our Sex and Wine episode, we discuss:

• Benefits of waiting a bit to have sex after dating
• Consent for a kiss
• Meaningful sex
• Sex getting better when you know each other deeply 
• How to have great sex the first time
• Empowering men to wait
• Rechanneling sexual energy so you’re not a slave to sexual desire
• What does it mean if you don’t have much sex in your relationship
• Sex and intimacy? How are they the same? How are they different?
• How our families talked to us (or didn’t) about sex.

Share your thoughts and questions via [email protected]. Also join our Facebook group, 'Interracial Couples' https://web.facebook.com/groups/524882004837350/


ABOUT US

CERA graduated from UCLA with a degree in International Development and Entrepreneurship in 2018, after living in Los Angeles for eight years. 

She grew up in rural Kenya and at the age of nine, she lost her childhood home to civil war. That forced her to move to a Nairobi ghetto, where she experienced a different kind of poverty.

This experience shaped her mission. She returned to Kenya to start Ecodunia, a social enterprise that makes a difference in the lives of the poor by creating work opportunities and educating girls from under-priviledged communities. Ecodunia is not only driven by profit, but with a mission to lift people out of generational poverty, while making beautiful, useful and sustainable products.

MATTHEW started his career as an accidental filmmaker. He wrote a “practice script,”  hoping one day he could write one that he could sell or produce. That script became his first film, “Senses of Place,” which went on to win awards on the film festival circuit and was distributed by FilmBuff. 

Matthew then moved to Hollywood where he eventually made nine feature films, eight documentaries, and worked with actors Carrie-Anne Moss, Zac Efron, Edi Gathegi, Melora Hardin and many more. He worked with producers Kevin Costner, Bill Borden – Academy Award winner Francis Ford Coppola and Oscar-nominated director Mike Johnson. He has even shared the screen with Josh Brolin, Neil Patrick Harris, Kane Hodder, Naveen Andrews, and many more.

Last year, he released the documentary film, “Hardball: The Girls of Summer.” Currently, he lives between California and East Africa, writing and developing new projects, while consulting on film and TV projects. 

Visit his website to see his work – or check him out on IMDb.com

What is your dealbreaker?

After the recent episode of The Red Table Talks, where Jada and Will Smith opened up about the former’s ‘entanglement with August’, we decided to revisit a discussion we’d had earlier in our relationship about deal breakers. What would make one of us to call it quits?

Would it be an affair? An “entanglement”? HIV infection? Bankruptcy? Or one having to move abroad?

What does it mean when a certain thing is a deal breaker for one half of the couple, and a non-issue for the other?

ABOUT US

CERA graduated from UCLA with a degree in International Development and Entrepreneurship in 2018, after living in Los Angeles for eight years. 

She grew up in rural Kenya and at the age of nine, she lost her childhood home to civil war. That forced her to move to a Nairobi ghetto, where she experienced a different kind of poverty.

This experience shaped her mission. She returned to Kenya to start Ecodunia, a social enterprise that makes a difference in the lives of the poor by creating work opportunities and educating girls from under-priviledged communities. Ecodunia is not only driven by profit, but with a mission to lift people out of generational poverty, while making beautiful, useful and sustainable products.

MATTHEW started his career as an accidental filmmaker. He wrote a “practice script,”  hoping one day he could write one that he could sell or produce. That script became his first film, which went on to win awards on the film festival circuit and was distributed by FilmBuff. 

Matthew then moved to Hollywood where he eventually made nine feature films, eight documentaries, and worked with actors Carrie-Anne Moss, Zac Efron, Edi Gathegi, Melora Hardin and many more. He worked with producers Kevin Costner, Bill Borden – Academy Award winner Francis Ford Coppola and Oscar-nominated director Mike Johnson. He has even shared the screen with Josh Brolin, Neil Patrick Harris, Kane Hodder, Naveen Andrews, and many more.

Last year, he released the documentary film, “Hardball: The Girls of Summer.” Currently, he lives between California and East Africa, writing and developing new projects, while consulting on film and TV projects. 

Visit his website to see his work – or check him out on IMDb.com

How do you feel when you see a perfect couple lost in PDA at the park? Is it jealousy? Do you believe that the perfect couple is really perfect?

In this episode of the It's Not All Black & White podcast, we discuss PDA, making public our fights, and who we keep up appearances for as a couple and who we don't mind sharing our struggles with.

How do all these things affect our relationship?


BIOS

MATTHEW started his career as an accidental filmmaker. He wrote a “practice script,”  hoping one day he could write one that he could sell or produce. That script became his first film, “Senses of Place,” which went on to win awards on the film festival circuit and was distributed by FilmBuff. 

Matthew then moved to Hollywood where he eventually made nine feature films, eight documentaries, and worked with actors Carrie-Anne Moss, Zac Efron, Edi Gathegi, Melora Hardin and many more. He worked with producers Kevin Costner, Bill Borden – Academy Award winner Francis Ford Coppola and Oscar-nominated director Mike Johnson. He has even shared the screen with Josh Brolin, Neil Patrick Harris, Kane Hodder, Naveen Andrews, and many more.

Last year, he released the documentary film, “Hardball: The Girls of Summer.” Currently, he lives between California and East Africa, writing and developing new projects, while consulting on film and TV projects. 

Visit his website to see his work – or check him out on IMDb . com



CERA graduated from UCLA with a degree in International Development and Entrepreneurship in 2018, after living in Los Angeles for eight years. 

She grew up in rural Kenya and at the age of nine, she lost her childhood home to civil war. That forced her to move to a Nairobi ghetto, where she experienced a different kind of poverty.

This experience shaped her mission. She returned to Kenya to start Ecodunia, a social enterprise that makes a difference in the lives of the poor by creating work opportunities and educating girls from under-priviledged communities. Ecodunia is not only driven by profit, but with a mission to lift people out of generational poverty, while making beautiful, useful and sustainable products

After living together and being in a committed relationship, the questions inevitably start coming: When are you getting married? When are you having kids? Conventional wisdom says that marriage and kids are an important step in the life of a loving, committed couple. But it’s always good to question conventional wisdom. Is it really wise? Does the convention work anymore?

We have the added complication of Cera’s Kikuyu tradition of the groom paying dowry for his bride. Sounds a little old fashioned. And it is. So, we have to consider - will we do it, will we reject it, or will we transform the tradition into something new.

This week, we talk about:

• When we are going to get married?
• Why is marriage important?
• Why aren’t we married
• If and when we do, will we have a traditional Kikuyu or Kenyan wedding, a Christian wedding, a Jewish wedding or a secular one? (for a peek of a traditional kikuyu wedding https://youtu.be/2A-QRiRJ51E)

ABOUT US

CERA graduated from UCLA with a degree in International Development and Entrepreneurship in 2018, after living in Los Angeles for eight years. 

She grew up in rural Kenya and at the age of nine, she lost her childhood home to civil war. That forced her to move to a Nairobi ghetto, where she experienced a different kind of poverty.

This experience shaped her mission. She returned to Kenya to start Ecodunia, a social enterprise that makes a difference in the lives of the poor by creating work opportunities and educating girls from under-priviledged communities. Ecodunia is not only driven by profit, but with a mission to lift people out of generational poverty, while making beautiful, useful and sustainable products.

MATTHEW started his career as an accidental filmmaker. He wrote a “practice script,”  hoping one day he could write one that he could sell or produce. That script became his first film, “Senses of Place,” which went on to win awards on the film festival circuit and was distributed by FilmBuff. 

Matthew then moved to Hollywood where he eventually made nine feature films, eight documentaries, and worked with actors Carrie-Anne Moss, Zac Efron, Edi Gathegi, Melora Hardin and many more. He worked with producers Kevin Costner, Bill Borden – Academy Award winner Francis Ford Coppola and Oscar-nominated director Mike Johnson. He has even shared the screen with Josh Brolin, Neil Patrick Harris, Kane Hodder, Naveen Andrews, and many more.

Last year, he released the documentary film, “Hardball: The Girls of Summer.” Currently, he lives between California and East Africa, writing and developing new projects, while consulting on film and TV projects. 

Visit his website to see his work – or check him out on IMDb.com