You ever seen a horror movie where the monster learns to file taxes, mow the lawn, and organize the HOA meeting? That’s Trump.

The Left says he’s chaotic — and they’re not wrong.

Trump is the political version of smashing the emergency glass — except instead of a fire extinguisher, you get a blowtorch, a backhoe, and an executive order.

And the real punchline? His chaos works.

The Dow rises while he tweets. Foreign leaders flinch when he sneezes. And now that he’s back in power, Democrats are realizing they accidentally summoned the political Jason Bourne. They tortured the wrong guy, and now he’s loose with a grudge and a spreadsheet.

Trump is like the bad guy in the movie put in the impossible circumstance, but he tells you, “After this, I’m going to kill you.” Then he does it.

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How’s this irony: Trump never needed the media. He just treated them like used gym equipment—until they snapped under his weight.

Donald Trump hasn’t just survived the media gauntlet, he’s demolished it. He didn’t beat them on a technicality. He didn’t sneak out a split decision. He left the Fourth Estate face-down, pantsless, with “Fake News” Sharpie’d on their asses like a frat house hazing.

Jen Psaki’s show is so bad, it’s being used at Guantanamo to get confessions.

Colbert? Gone. Joy Reid? Fired. Rachel Maddow? Relegated to book tours and sad tweets. Trump didn’t just outlast the media—he outboxed, outwitted, and outlasted the very people who declared him finished.

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When your politics are so bankrupt that a jeans commercial becomes your battleground, you’re not running a party — you’re running a group therapy session for the perpetually aggrieved.

The modern Left can’t distinguish between oppression and inconvenience, which is why they keep melting down over commercials while ignoring real crises like inflation, crime, and an open border that under Biden looked more like a turnstile at Coachella.

This isn’t satire. It’s strategy. When Democrats lose on facts, they shift the playing field to feelings. And since Sydney Sweeney didn’t include a diversity checklist in her denim ad, she must be the problem. 

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Our theme today is about eating crow, and boy have the Democrats had their fill.

But the good news is the buffet continues today for them. And I guess I should warn Leftists that they should get use to eating more of it.

Hey Democrats, does crow taste like chicken?

The economic news is good, but for Democrats it doom and gloom. Here is Chuck Schumer explaining how good news is actually bad.

[X] SB – Chuck Schumer

Raising cost. Rosy headlines. Mirage.

Business investment plunged by 3.1%. Very troubling. Worried.

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You ever watch somebody choke down a bad meal they ordered just to save face? That’s the entire Democratic Party since Trump left office. And if crow were a traded commodity, it’d be sitting on the NASDAQ right next to Tesla. The Left is gorging themselves on feathered regret—and not even with seasoning. Just raw, bitter, unfiltered crow.

It’s funny how I see polls that supposedly show Trump’s approval dropping, and my first instinct is to deny it. In the old days, I might have at least paused, maybe asked, “Is it true?” But now? I read it like my horoscope.

And even if you did have an issue with Trump on something—by the time you figured out what your beef was, he’s already doing something you secretly like.

You hate him on trade, but oops—he just lowered your insulin costs. 

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I love when I get messages from you about enlightenment. Things I say that spur thought in you, or you say you never would have considered what I have said…

Flattering.

And while I so enjoy these messages, I hope that what I do here makes you a lot more suspect of things, perhaps than you would do in court…

We must start getting things right from the start, instead of waiting on the reveal.

That’s why I like that most of what we are learning about the crooked nature of Democrats we already knew.

No fooling us anymore. And that frustration will lead them to change.

Every had somebody figure you out, then just dismiss you.

Folks, gather  ‘round for today’s lesson in media linguistics—where words don’t just mean things, they mean whatever the narrative needs them to mean.

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I love waking up every day on the side of righteousness. As opposed to the Democrats. They wake up PANICKED every day, because Trump is driving a stake through their hearts multiple times a day.

It’s amazing how fast the wins come for Trump, for America, and for the world. I’m going to talk about all the conflicts Trump has interrupted, so many that he’s so deserving of the Nobel Peace prize they will be forced to give it to him.

On that note, imagine being a Democrat, and you know Obama got a Nobel Peace Prize for doing absolutely nothing. And here is Trump who has negotiated peace in SIX CONFLICTS, and you still hate him.

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How does Trump get so much done? He makes an announcement about something big, and Democrats predictably attack. And almost as if anticipating it, he then springs a trap on them, and announce another BIG deal.

Trump’s brain is like a supercomputer that outpaces modern systems. He's working on quantum computing while Democrats use abacuses.

Trump's pedigree is impressive. His MIT genius uncle helped America, and Barron is a certified Mensan. Yet, Democrats present him as a bungling fool.

2020 election, greatest political heist in history, but who won in the end? America and the world, actually, as Trump reshapes global trade. In a peaceful world.

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Trump’s not perfect—but he’s pragmatic. He bets on America and he’s getting government out of the way. And that’s why Leftists hate him: his successes expose their failures.

Welcome to another day, another dose of hypocrisy, hysteria, and history repeating itself.

Should we list all the problems ahead for Democrats?

Epstein will not be tied to Trump. That’s not going to stop Democrats from trying, until they don’t. This story will be out of the news cycle by the end of the week.

So all the effort being put into it is wasted. Still, despite knowing this, the media reported that “50% of Republicans are not satisfied with the White House’s handling of the Epstein documents.” 

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Trump flips the script on the media’s sanctimonious traps. The homeless question wasn’t just a one-off; it’s a masterclass in refusing to play the optics game.

While other Republicans would’ve hemmed and hawed, clutching their policy binders like life rafts, Trump calls it like he sees it.

The homeless crisis isn’t his mess—it’s the fallout of decades of Leftist policies that turned cities into dystopian yard sales. He doesn’t just dodge the blame; he redirects it with surgical precision, pointing out that inflation, not his policies, is why people are sleeping on sidewalks.

The hypocrisy here is delicious: the same outlets pearl-clutching over homelessness cheerlead the economic policies that fueled it. Trump’s response isn’t just a zinger; it’s a policy stance. 

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