Brennon loves hot dog sandwiches, salty ramen, and wrapped gifts. But like, a lot of wrapped gifts. Abbey just wants a mop and a thesaurus and someone to do some shit for her. And fine, will take some wrapped gifts.

Fun fact, there are “NO PINECONES IN MISSOURAH”!

Merry Christmas from your favorite simpletons.

Brennon lets us in on some exciting Mighty Ducks news, Abbey misses brunch and happy hour and goes on a mildly disturbing diatribe against Kate Hudson, we FINALLY find a segue into telling everyone to watch Schitt's Creek, we say bougie an inordinate amount of times in slightly incorrect context and Brennon brings us some glorious Hawaii vibes.

Thanksgiving has come and gone, Abbey is still being snarky, Brennon is still hustling, People magazine is still publishing trash, Titanic is still a fantastic movie and Abbey tells us what she wants, what she really, really wants.

Brennon gets a new toy, Abbey gets a new fav reality show in the Bradshaw Bunch and has a wild local shopping adventure to share. Then it’s all things Thanksgiving until Brennon starts being V EXTRA... and also finds out what EXTRA means.

Abbey earns her citizenship and proves how truly American she by researching the mysterious and sometimes cunty spouses of the Smartless podcast boys. Brennon has never imagined kissing someone mid-convo, but can pick up shorts with his foot. And the Poynor parenting challenge to be addressed over the next decade is unearthed.

Brennon is energized, Abbey is trying. Brennon shows off his encyclopedic brain, Abbey shows off her poor parenting.

We both have some pretty cool stuff to be grateful for and really, who can expect a kid to keep George Michael and Michael Jordan straight?

Hocus Pocus weirdsies, The Breakfast Club in 2020, Mounds and Almond Joy continue to confound, vibes on family members of the past, Matthew McConaughey might be our next guest and who in the actual F pours ketchup ALL OVER fries they are intending to share? Answer: People who like ketchup on their fries. 🤷‍♂️

Britney Spears wins insta, hand-holding is not scandalous, Almond Joys vs. Mounds, Brennon is a Harry Potter savant, boy bands as a guilty pleasure, and the Poynors hope for a K-pop revolution.

Jeff Goldblum, heartthrob or weirdo, Podcasts gonna get lit in Spokane, Cheers to Sober October, It’s Gettin’ Hot in Here, Mambo #5 is not a catchphrase, Britney Spears social media wins, Abbey pays the bills, and one big-hitting question to wrap it all up!