Turns out booze is bad for your brain, Taco Bell has a zesty new jam, younger heads still spend hard on Halloween and it's my wife's birthday!

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Don't be puttin nudes on government computers, landscapers are jacked, we're not prepared to live longer lives and holidays are on the way and so is the stress!!

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Pop-Tarts and Little Caesar's are rolling out new munchies, Krispy Kreme is bad at making money, Walmart is letting ChatGPT do your shopping and a third of us are still afraid of the dark!

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We're getting Nutella ice cream!!! Screen time may be bad for little kids, our National Guard is too thiccc and we cannot control ourselves around candy

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Today we raise a glass tot he real sugar, DQ has a new treat, we would love a little sponsorship for our nuptials and late night on social media is a sad, sad place. 

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Alex Jones wants to keep his money, Applebee's has a tasty new jam, Dewar's dumps scotch in the river and take that bra off today grrrrrrl!

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Cheez-It has a new collab, old poors die earlier, half of us are thinking about quitting right now and Panda Express gets creative....

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Jerry Jones gives the finger and get a bigger one back, Nerds wont rest until you're toothless, HelloFresh is having a rough week and you CAN have too many friends!

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Pizza Hut got a facelift, Krispy Kreme gets scary, kids are nixing the booze, your bumper sticker may get you run off the road and Arby's has...uh...a new dish. 

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RIP Rite Aid, old people are getting into cocaine, some of us want more poors on TV and we all need to eat more fiber!

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