To be prudent means having “the ability to govern and discipline oneself by the use of reason.” Boundaries create a peace and a confidence to be prudent.

We need friends. We are made for community. God made us to be in community with Him! And if He needs and seeks community and we are made in His image, well then….

Friends are so special. But friendships require boundaries too. Friendships that stand the test of time take TIME…they need give, take, grace, tough (but kind) love, and understanding. This will form deep bond and connections and that are not easily severed. 

Would you like to know a beautiful way of deepening relationship?

Be at peace with being wrong.

On the surface level, nobody likes being wrong. We want to feel like we have it together, like we have it all right and that it’s everyone else that doesn’t. Because if we are wrong, that opens up many feelings and emotions we would rather act like aren’t there. If we admit we are wrong, we might start feeling inferior to the other person. If we admit that we are wrong, we have to acknowledge that we might have been wrong about other things. This is not an easy place. 

But I promise you it’s freeing. When we can remove our ego and start getting to the place where we can admit we are not right about everything, we can rest. 

Are you a runner? Do you run from your problems? 

I know that seems easier. I get it. I have done it in the past and honestly, on a surface level, it is easier. But we aren’t called to live on the surface level.

We can evolve. We can grow. We can learn to stay and fight. And I promise, it is worth it. Every time. Because we learn something that helps us the next time.

Holding people accountable for things we haven’t communicated…it’s not fair.

Communication gets easier the more you do it. I believe it’s because when we practice dropping our ego we realize, feel, and learn that we have nothing to hide and that whatever direction the talk goes, we are ok with it even if it comes out that we brought some of the yucky stuff to the situation.

Give people a chance. Show them you love them enough to work through whatever is happening. 

If we have chosen to get married and start a family, we have chosen to put them before anything else. If our family or anyone in our family really needs us, we need to prioritize accordingly.

Our commitments are part of boundaries. And there is not a more important commitment than the emotional health of the family we decided to start. 

Having a healthy relationship with people doesn’t mean you will agree with everything they think, do, or say. There will be disagreements. And that’s ok.

Don’t shy away from conversations and acquaintances because you are afraid you are too different. You can love them well and uphold your boundaries, too.

To piggy back off of last week’s Monday Fire episode, I wanted to give you a few statements to use when communicating with service industry professionals when you are running late or will not be able to make it altogether. Remember, we want to honor people in our communication with them.

If we are to take responsibility for our stuff, that also means our schedule and scheduling conflicts and the ramifications of when we try and fit too much in.

This is a pain point for a lot of people and one thing that I probably have the most trouble with. I am a mom of three and a business owner and those titles come with a lot of events and last-minute to-do’s. BUT I am still responsible for my yes’s, so if there is a conflict that rests on me, I need to take the necessary steps to make sure all parties are taken care of.

Many people in the customer service industry have cancellation, late, or no-show policies. If you have made an appointment and for whatever reason you will have to cancel, come late, or you’ve forgotten about it altogether because it was not on your calendar, then it is our responsibility to take care of the person providing the service.

Boundaries are not about someone winning and someone losing. When implemented in healthy ways, boundaries can help everyone win.

We can all be very competitive. Not just in the obvious things like sports but in relationships too. We want to have the upper hand. We want to be in control. We want to be two steps “ahead.” Why? So we don’t feel pain, so our ego is not damaged, so we win.

If your desire is to be in healthy relationship (because if you are reading this I think we can all agree that kind of relationship above is not healthy), then we have to be prepared and ok to let go of our need to control and the need to win. We need to develop the desire to see and uncover the other person’s heart over making sure they are put in their place.