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If you’ve been toying with the idea of writing a memoir — or you’re knee-deep in draft pages wondering what now? — you’re going to love this conversation with memoir coach and author Wendy Dale.

Wendy’s the author of Avoiding Prison and Other Noble Vacation Goals and the creator of The Memoir Engineering System, a structured seven-step process for turning your life stories into page-turning memoirs. 

She’s also been a memoir coach for 17 years and has read more than a thousand memoirs along the way — so when she says she’s seen it all, she means it.

We kicked off our chat with the age-old memoir question: what stays in and what gets cut? Wendy shares that the biggest mistake new memoirists make is treating their book like an autobiography — including everything — rather than crafting a story with a clear premise. 

Whether you’re writing about a time in your life, a specific relationship, or a transformational journey, you need to know what your memoir is about before you start writing.

And then comes the kicker: structure. Wendy opens up about how her first memoir attempt got a big fat “no” from agents because — as one of them told her — she had no idea how structure worked. That rejection became the catalyst for developing her Memoir Engineering System. 

According to Wendy, structure is the foundation of a memoir — just like a well-built house. Readers might not notice it when it’s working, but if your structure’s missing? No one’s sticking around to admire your prose.

We also talked about plot, and how “what actually happened” isn’t the same as a compelling story. Memoirists need to shape their real-life events into a sequence that builds tension and invites readers to turn the page. 

That includes identifying the conflict at the heart of your book — what Wendy calls the “narrative want” — and writing scenes where something happens, even if it’s just an emotional realization.

Wendy also offers some brilliant insight into the power of subjective writing — how your thoughts, reflections, and unique perspective are what breathe emotion into your scenes and allow readers to truly feel your story.

We even tackled the tricky question of whether you can write part of a memoir in third person. Wendy’s take? It’s risky and rarely works well — unless you’re a phenomenal writer and handle it with nuance and restraint.

If you’re working on a memoir — or have a dusty manuscript sitting in a drawer — you’ll want to check out Wendy’s free video series at freememoirclass.com, and of course, grab a copy of The Memoir Engineering System.

This episode is full of insight, warmth, and practical tools to help you move from messy draft to compelling memoir. Don’t miss it!