The Men's Podcast

Welcome back men! Today we discuss, as fathers, what it means to help our daughters fight the lies of the enemy - lies that the world feeds them daily.

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

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Fathers and Daughters: Fighting the Lies of the Enemy

In today’s culture, our daughters face countless lies about identity, beauty, purpose, and purity. As fathers, we play a vital role in shielding them from these attacks and pointing them toward God’s truth. This episode is a call to action for dads who want to raise daughters grounded in biblical wisdom. We’ll look at four common cultural lies and explore what the Bible says instead.

Lie #1: Gender Doesn’t Matter

Truth: Men and women are both created in the image of God—and their differences are part of His beautiful design.

Our culture is increasingly blurring the distinctions between male and female, but Genesis 1 shows us something better. God created humanity “male and female,” and He called it “very good.” (Genesis 1:27,31)

Genesis 1:27 (NLT) – “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
Genesis 1:31 (NLT) – “Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!”

As fathers, we should affirm and celebrate the unique design of our daughters. Teach them that their femininity is not a limitation but a God-given strength. When we embrace the beauty of gender differences, we reflect God’s plan for flourishing families and communities.

Lie #2: Outward Beauty Is What Matters Most

Truth: Real beauty grows from within and never fades.

Today’s young women are bombarded with unrealistic beauty standards. Social media filters, influencer culture, and cosmetic trends send the message that their worth is tied to appearance. But the Bible tells us something very different.

Proverbs 31:30-31 (NLT) – “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.”
1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT) – “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”

Dads, it’s great to tell your daughter she’s beautiful—but don’t stop there. Compliment her kindness, her compassion, her integrity. Encourage her spiritual growth and help her see that true beauty increases as she draws closer to Christ.

Lie #3: A Woman’s Role Is Either Limited or Guilt-Ridden

Truth: God calls women to a wide range of roles—including motherhood and work—and each one is valuable.

The culture may downplay stay-at-home moms, while some churches may inadvertently shame women who work outside the home. Both extremes are unbiblical. Proverbs 31 gives us a picture of a strong, capable woman who manages a household and engages in meaningful work.

Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a “wife of noble character” who runs a business, cares for her family, and blesses her community.

Our daughters need to know that both homemaking and career aspirations can honor God when pursued with the right heart. It’s not about one-size-fits-all roles—it’s about walking in God’s purpose with courage and faith.

Lie #4: Sexual Freedom Equals Real Freedom

Truth: God’s boundaries for sexuality lead to freedom, not bondage.

Culture promotes the idea that casual sex and provocative behavior are empowering. But Scripture says otherwise. Song of Songs warns us not to awaken love before the proper time.

Song of Songs 8:4 (NLT) – “Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.”

God’s design for sex is good and powerful, but it must be handled with care. When we step outside His boundaries, we invite emotional pain, broken trust, and lasting regret. Fathers should affirm God’s sexual ethic with gentleness and clarity—pointing their daughters to a better, more fulfilling path.

You don’t have to get into the details of the “sex talk” if that’s not your role, but you can certainly reinforce God’s purpose for purity. Remind your daughter that she is valuable, worthy of respect, and not defined by cultural norms.

Proverbs 30:20 (NLT) – “An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, ‘What’s wrong with that?’”

Let’s teach our daughters that purity is not about shame—it’s about walking in freedom and grace.

Final Word to Fathers: Be Her Protector and Truth-Teller

We’re called to more than just physical protection. We are the spiritual gatekeepers for our daughters—guarding their hearts and minds from the lies of the enemy. That means paying attention to what influences them, having regular conversations about faith and identity, and being the voice that consistently speaks truth and love.

She needs to know her worth from you before the world tries to define it for her.

Welcome back, men! This episode kicks off a two-part series, starting with daughters and followed by a focus on sons. If you’re a dad of girls, whether young or grown, these principles will help you reflect God’s heart and guide your daughter with wisdom.

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

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Raising Daughters: A Father’s Role in Shaping Her Identity and Faith

Being a father to a daughter is both a gift and a calling. In a culture that often blurs gender roles and redefines family dynamics, dads have the opportunity—and responsibility—to model biblical love, identity, and leadership.

1. Love Her Mom Well

One of the most important ways a father can influence his daughter is through the way he loves her mother. Whether you're married to her mom or co-parenting after divorce, your behavior sets a powerful tone in her life.

The Bible calls men to love their wives sacrificially, the way Christ loves the Church:

Ephesians 5:25-29 (NLT)

“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her… Husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.”

This kind of love is not based on feelings—it’s based on commitment, humility, and servant leadership. When your daughter sees you lay down your preferences to honor and serve her mom, she internalizes what to expect from a future husband. She learns to value healthy love and recognize unhealthy behavior.

Even if you’re a single dad, you can still live out this principle. Show respect for your daughter’s mother. Avoid speaking negatively about her, especially in front of your daughter. Be honest when appropriate, but always take the high road. God can redeem even the most broken family dynamics when you commit to modeling grace and truth.

1 Peter 3:7 (NLT) adds another layer:

“In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding… She is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.”

Treating your wife—or your daughter’s mom—with honor is one of the greatest gifts you can give your daughter.

2. Speak Her Love Language

Every child is wired to receive love differently, and girls especially need consistent, heartfelt affirmation from their fathers. Author Gary Chapman outlines five “love languages” that help decode how people give and receive love: words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts, and physical touch.

Your daughter likely leans into one or two of these. Your job is to learn what speaks most clearly to her heart and make it a regular part of your relationship.

• Words of Affirmation – Tell her what you love about who she is, not just what she does. Be mindful of criticism—it cuts deeper in daughters who thrive on verbal encouragement.
• Quality Time – Let her choose the activity. The goal is not what you do together, but that you're fully present.
• Acts of Service – Sometimes love looks like helping with a science project or fixing something she values.
• Gifts – Thoughtful, not flashy. It’s about meaning, not money.
• Physical Touch – Hugs, high-fives, or sitting close on the couch. Appropriate affection from you can affirm her value and reduce the likelihood that she’ll seek it in the wrong places.

Proverbs 16:16 (NLT) says, “How much better to get wisdom than gold, and good judgment than silver.” Wisdom in parenting means understanding your daughter’s emotional needs and responding intentionally.

3. Stay in Your Lane

As a father, you have a critical role—but not a complete one. You’re not called to be everything to your daughter. There are certain conversations better handled by your wife or a trusted, godly woman.

Titus 2:4-5 (NLT) says,

“These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure...”

Topics like puberty, sexual purity, and physical development are often more comfortably and effectively addressed by a woman. This doesn’t mean you avoid important subjects altogether—it means you walk with humility and invite others to speak into her life where needed. If you’re a single dad, lean into the church community. Find a trusted woman your daughter can talk to and feel safe with.

Additionally, you must remember that your daughter’s ultimate identity comes from God, not you. You were never meant to meet all her emotional or spiritual needs

Genesis 1:27 (NLT) reminds us:

“So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

Fathers are called to guide, protect, and bless—but only God can fill her soul. Your job is to point her to Him.

Final Thoughts: A Gentle and Quiet Spirit

In a world obsessed with external beauty, dads have the opportunity to affirm the kind of beauty God values most.

1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT) says,

“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty... You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”

You can shape how your daughter views herself by the way you treat her and talk to her. Speak life. Model grace. Point her to the God who made her, loves her, and has a plan for her life.

Being a dad to a daughter may feel overwhelming, but God will equip you if you seek Him daily. Start by loving your wife (or co-parent) well, knowing your daughter’s heart, and staying faithful in your lane. God will use your imperfect efforts to do something eternal in her life.

Welcome back men! Today we'll be discussing how to debate, or how not to debate, secondary issues!

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

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Jesus prayed that believers would have unity like he and the Father have unity. He also said that the world will know we are his disciples by our love for one another.  There are secondary issues that have been debated by believers for centuries, but there is a right way and a wrong way to do it

• Over the last several years, I’ve taken some deep dives into secondary issues in the Christian faith.  I’d call them secondary issues. Some of you might think they’re primary, which is always part of the problem when having these kinds of conversations. I look at issues in four different categories - issues to die for, divide for, debate, or discuss.  The reality is that you and I probably don’t categorize everything the same way.  Some of the issues I think are worth dividing for you may not and vice versa. When I say divide, I don’t mean choosing one local church over another because of doctrinal distinctives or worship style, or things like that.  I’m talking about breaking fellowship with someone who claims to be a Christian but holds a belief that isn’t compatible with traditional Christianity. 

John 17:21-23  I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.    

John 13:35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples

•  Don’t make everything a to divide for issue - 
• I don’t think the right attitude is, “well it doesn’t really matter. It will all sort out in the end.  It does matter. Someone is right and someone is wrong. 
• Truth matters. There is a right answer. 
• 1 Corinthians 13:6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 
• Proverbs 23:23 Buy the truth and do not sell it—wisdom, instruction and insight as well. 

Are you listening? 

When you’re discussing a secondary issue with a fellow believer, are you really seeking to listen to them, or just preparing your rebuttal?  Do you find yourself interrupting them?

Acts 15:4-12 When they arrived in Jerusalem, Barnabas and Paul were welcomed by the whole church, including the apostles and elders. They reported everything God had done through them. 5 But then some of the believers who belonged to the sect of the Pharisees stood up and insisted, “The Gentile converts must be circumcised and required to follow the law of Moses.”

6 So the apostles and elders met together to resolve this issue. 7 At the meeting, after a long discussion, Peter stood and addressed them as follows: “Brothers, you all know that God chose me from among you some time ago to preach to the Gentiles so that they could hear the Good News and believe. 8 God knows people’s hearts, and he confirmed that he accepts Gentiles by giving them the Holy Spirit, just as he did to us. 9 He made no distinction between us and them, for he cleansed their hearts through faith. 10 So why are you now challenging God by burdening the Gentile believers[b] with a yoke that neither we nor our ancestors were able to bear? 11 We believe that we are all saved the same way, by the undeserved grace of the Lord Jesus.”

Everyone listened quietly as Barnabas and Paul told about the miraculous signs and wonders God had done through them among the Gentiles.

Proverbs 18:13 Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.

Proverbs 18:2 Fools have no interest in understanding;  they only want to air their own opinions.

Proverbs 18:15 Intelligent people are always ready to learn. Their ears are open for knowledge. 

What if you’re wrong? 

Have you ever taken an honest look at the dangers of being wrong? 

• What if you’re wrong?  What are the dangers if you are holding onto the incorrect position on a topic? 
•  Complementarian - missing out on great teachers, not empowering women to fulfill callings and exercise giftings
• Egalitarian - health of the church is compromised because roles are blurred, men are not challenged to step up and lead
• Calvinism - not seeking excellence in ministry because God’s going to save whoever he’s going to save regardless of me, evangelism may take a back seat for the same reasons
• Arminianism - becoming too seeker sensitive, taking too much responsibility and credit for God’s work, always chasing the next big idea
• Eschatology - not living with a sense of urgency that Jesus could come at any moment, Revelation 16:15 Look, I will come as unexpectedly as a thief! Blessed are all who are watching for me, who keep their clothing ready so they will not have to walk around naked and ashamed.”
• Annihilationism - lack of urgency because punishment is eternal

One Trick Pony 

Do you find yourself only wanting to talk about a single issue?  Do you tend to bring it up in conversations even if the topic is about something different? 

Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing 

Keep the main thing the main thing.  Don’t get so caught up in secondary issues that you miss out on opportunities to share the gospel. 

1 Corinthians 2:2 For I decided that while I was with you I would forget everything except Jesus Christ, the one who was crucified.

Welcome back to the podcast men! Today, we continue our series "Failure to Lead". Today's subject: King David. We'll focus not on his most infamous failure—his sin with Bathsheba—but on a broader pattern of decisions that ultimately led to devastating consequences.

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

Donate Now

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Leadership Lessons from the Failures of King David

King David is often remembered for his triumph over Goliath and his deep love for God, but his story also serves as a powerful warning about the dangers of compromised leadership.

A Promising Start Marred by Tragedy

David's leadership journey began with promise and courage. He boldly faced Goliath and resisted the urge to seize the throne from Saul prematurely, trusting instead in God's timing. However, over time, his integrity began to erode. Despite moments where he could have made righteous choices, David continued down a destructive path that culminated in murder and betrayal.

When Success Breeds Entitlement

David’s downfall began not with an act, but with an attitude.

2 Samuel 11:1
“In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army. … But David remained in Jerusalem.”

This detail is crucial. Spring was the traditional time for kings to lead their armies into battle. David broke with this norm, staying behind while his men fought. This wasn’t a time of peace—there was active conflict. His choice signaled a sense of entitlement and detachment from duty. Leaders today face different "battles," but the principle remains: when individuals neglect their responsibilities, temptation often finds them idle.

A Snowball of Bad Decisions
2 Samuel 11:2-4
“From the roof he saw a woman bathing. … David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her.”

David not only succumbed to lust, but he also involved others in his sin. Servants were tasked with fetching Bathsheba—likely aware of what was happening but powerless to question the king. This wasn’t just adultery; it was betrayal. Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, was one of David’s loyal soldiers. David’s actions shattered bonds of brotherhood and integrity.

Failing to Read the Room

After the Bathsheba scandal, David continued to demonstrate a troubling lack of discernment—particularly within his own family. His failure to recognize and respond to warning signs led to further tragedy.

2 Samuel 13:6-7
“Amnon asked, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and cook…’ So David agreed and sent Tamar to Amnon’s house.”

David did not question Amnon’s odd request, and as a result, Tamar was left vulnerable. After Amnon assaulted her, David grew angry but took no action.

2 Samuel 13:21-22
“When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry. … But he did not punish his son Amnon.”

Ancient texts like the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Greek versions suggest David’s inaction stemmed from favoritism—Amnon was his firstborn. But leadership isn’t about protecting favorites. It’s about justice, accountability, and courage.

The Cost of Avoiding Hard Conversations

David’s refusal to confront sin had tragic ripple effects. Two years after Tamar’s assault, Absalom orchestrated a calculated revenge.

2 Samuel 13:23-29
Absalom invited the king’s sons to a feast and pressed David to send Amnon. Despite initial hesitation, David relented. At the feast, Absalom had Amnon killed.

David's leadership faltered again. He failed to sense the undercurrent of tension and did not investigate further. Avoiding difficult conversations—especially ones involving family or close allies—may seem easier in the short term but can be disastrous long-term.

A Modern Warning for Today’s Leaders

The life of David reminds leaders—whether in ministry, business, or the home—that failures rarely happen all at once. They begin with compromise, escalate through passivity, and culminate in destruction when left unaddressed.

Modern leaders must stay engaged in the battles they’re called to fight. That might mean maintaining boundaries, seeking accountability, or confronting hard truths—even when it's uncomfortable.

2 Samuel 11:1
“But David remained in Jerusalem.”

That single choice set into motion a chain of events that changed David’s life and legacy. It's a haunting reminder: leaders must never forget why they’re called, and whom they serve.

Welcome back to the podcast men! In the second episode of the Failure to Lead podcast series, the focus turns to one of Scripture’s most infamous leaders—King Saul. At first glance, Saul may seem like an obvious choice when discussing leadership failure...but Saul’s story is more complex than simple disobedience.

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

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Leadership Lessons from King Saul: How Emotion, Disobedience, and Insecurity Lead to Failure

In the second episode of the Failure to Lead podcast series, the focus turns to one of Scripture’s most infamous leaders—King Saul. After all, his reign ended with God stripping the kingdom away from him and giving it to David. However, his leadership journey offers key insights into how even those who start well can stumble if their hearts are not continually aligned with God.

A Good Start with a Changed Heart

Contrary to popular belief, Saul did not begin his reign as a failure. Scripture tells us in 1 Samuel 10:9, “As Saul turned to leave Samuel, God changed Saul’s heart.” God chose Saul, and early on, Saul demonstrated humility, restraint, and a willingness to follow divine instruction.

When some people questioned Saul’s kingship, Saul chose silence over pride. 1 Samuel 10:27 notes, “They didn’t bring him any gifts. But Saul kept quiet about it.” And after his first major victory over the Ammonites, Saul refused to seek vengeance on those who had doubted him (1 Samuel 11:12–13). These were the marks of a humble and Spirit-touched leader.

But leadership is not defined by a single moment—it’s tested over time.

Emotional Decision-Making: A Trap for Every Leader

One of Saul’s downfalls was his tendency to make rash decisions based on emotion. Good leaders understand the weight of their emotions and choose wisdom over impulse.

In 1 Samuel 14:24–30, Saul made an emotionally charged vow that no one in his army could eat until he had avenged his enemies. This decision, though driven by zeal, weakened his troops and nearly cost his son Jonathan’s life. Jonathan, unaware of the oath, ate honey to regain strength. He later criticized his father's decision, saying, “My father has made trouble for the country.”

Emotion-driven leadership, while often passionate, can blind decision-makers to long-term consequences. Leaders must pause, pray, and process before acting—especially in high-pressure situations.

Model Obedience: Leaders Are Always Under Authority

Another key failure in Saul’s leadership was his disobedience. A leader under God’s authority must model obedience—not only for personal integrity but also for the health of those under their leadership.

In 1 Samuel 13, Saul took matters into his own hands by offering a sacrifice reserved for the prophet Samuel. This impatience cost him dearly. Samuel rebuked him: “You have not kept the command the Lord your God gave you… the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart” (1 Samuel 13:13–14).

Later, in 1 Samuel 15, Saul disobeyed God again by sparing King Agag and the best livestock, despite clear instructions to destroy everything. When confronted, Saul justified his actions, claiming he was saving the animals to sacrifice to God. Samuel responded with piercing truth: “To obey is better than sacrifice” (1 Samuel 15:22).

Partial obedience is still disobedience. True leadership requires full submission to God’s commands, regardless of the perceived benefit of an alternative route.

Jealousy and Insecurity: The Silent Killers of Leadership

Perhaps the most relatable of Saul’s failures was his struggle with jealousy and insecurity. These internal issues often lead to outward dysfunction in leadership.

After David’s rise to fame—especially after defeating Goliath—Saul grew resentful. The people sang, “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands” (1 Samuel 18:7), and Saul’s jealousy began to consume him. From that point forward, he viewed David not as an asset to the kingdom but as a threat to his throne.

Healthy leaders celebrate the success of others. They identify and nurture talent, even if those under them surpass their own abilities. Insecurity, on the other hand, leads to control, manipulation, and division.

Final Thoughts: Leadership Requires a Tender Heart and a Firm Foundation

Saul’s story is a warning to every leader—especially those in spiritual leadership. His life shows that a strong start doesn’t guarantee a faithful finish. Leaders must remain humble, emotionally wise, obedient, and secure in their calling.

A recurring theme in Saul’s decline is this: The condition of the leader’s heart determines the course of their leadership. Saul’s heart changed, but it did not stay aligned with God. Over time, pride, fear, and disobedience eroded the foundation of his reign.

Let Saul’s life be a mirror, not just a story. Ask:

• Is leadership being driven by emotion or by wisdom?
• Is obedience to God full and immediate, or partial and convenient?
• Are the giftings of others seen as threats or as opportunities for growth?

Ultimately, great leaders don’t just lead—they follow. They stay under authority, remain emotionally grounded, and model consistent obedience to God.

Welcome back, men! We’ve looked at how to lead from great leaders in the Bible, let’s see what we can learn from some guys who messed up and learn from their mistakes so that we don’t repeat them in this new series: Failure to Lead.

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

Donate Now

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• Coaching - if we learn from our mistakes, we’re going to be pretty good by the end of the season. If not, we’re going to lose a lot of games. 
• You might be asking yourself, “why so much talk about leading on this podcast?” It’s simple, men are called to lead in the home and in the church. 

Ephesians 5:22-30 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.[b] 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

• We need to step up and lead. 

Genesis 3:9 Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” 

• God called to the man.  He was holding Adam accountable. Adam didn’t lead. 

Genesis 3:16 And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.

• Part of this tension that is often felt when we try to lead in our home is a direct result of Adam’s failure to lead. This is the story we’re going to look at today.  
• Being a servant leader

Proverbs 15:22 Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.

Proverbs 15:31 If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise.

• Doesn’t mean that we lead tyrannically.  We seek input, particularly from our spouse.  We listen to constructive criticism.  

Passivity is Poisonous 

Adam was passive.  He failed to step up and lead.  There was a crisis going on around him, and he stood there as a spectator instead of stepping up as a leader. 

Genesis 3:1-7 The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” 2 “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. 3 “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’”4 “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. 5 “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” 6 The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. 7 At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.

Hiding from Responsibility 

Instead of facing the consequences of a bad decision, Adam tried to hide. We’re all going to mess up sometimes. We’re going to make bad decisions as a leader. When that happens, we need to own up to it. 

Genesis 3:8-10 When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man[a] and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. 9 Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”10 He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”

• What does hiding from God look like in our lives? Avoiding going to church, avoiding small groups, not wanting to spend time in God’s Word 
• Not initiating reconciliation - just hoping it will blow over or sweep it under the rug

Psalm 139 7-12 I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence!

8 If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.9 If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans,10 even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.11 I could ask the darkness to hide me  and the light around me to become night—12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. 

Blame Shifting 

Adam tried the blame game instead of owning up to his mistake.  He even insinuated that God was partially at fault. 

Genesis 3:12 The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.”

• Sound familiar? 
• We blame others.  We blame our circumstances. We sometimes even blame God - It’s your fault.  You made me this way.

Hello men, welcome back to the podcast! What if the words you speak could shape the identity, confidence, and future of those you love—just as the blessings of fathers did in the Old Testament? Let's talk about it today!

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

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In the Old Testament, the blessings of fathers to their sons just seem to jump off the page. Isaac to Jacob and Esau, Jacob’s blessings over his sons. 

Controlling our Tongue 

Our words have the power to bring life or death. We should work to use our words to encourage and build up those around us.

Ephesians 4:29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

James 1:19-20, 26 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.

James 3:3-6 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

James 3:9:10 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.

Offense vs. Defense 

Controlling our tongue to not respond harshly or critically is the first step. We can then learn to use our words to bring blessing and life. This takes intentionality and for most of us, practice. It is important to speak words of affirmation to those we love.  

Mark 1:9-11 At that time Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. 10 Just as Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. 11 And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”

Mark 9:7 Then a cloud appeared and covered them, and a voice came from the cloud: “This is my Son, whom I love. Listen to him!”

• Our children need our encouragement.  If God the Father publicly affirmed God the Son, how much more so do our children need it?  Jesus knew exactly who he was.  He had no questions about his significance or value or identity.  Can our kids say that?  
• What if your child’s primarily love language is words of affirmation?  They need it even more.  Probably need it even more than you do. 
• Speak affirmation on the things they can control. I’m proud of you. You are a blessing to me. You’re wise.  You’re humble. 

Significance of Ceremony 

Creating opportunities for more formal statements of blessing and encouragement can have a deep impact. There is power in ceremony. Look for significant events in the lives of your children and use those as opportunities to bring life with your words.

• Starting school, Starting Jr. High, starting HS, purity talk, First job, Driver’s license, graduation, first date, marriage, first child, purchase of a home or moving to a new location 
• Work at it, write it down

Welcome back men! What do you do when your child pushes away from the faith, resists your leadership, or walks a path you never wanted for them? In this final episode of Leading When It’s Hard, we’re looking toward biblical wisdom for guiding rebellious kids. Don’t miss this crucial conversation!

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

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How to Lead When Your Kids Are Rebelling: A Biblical Perspective

Parenting is one of the greatest blessings and challenges in life. It becomes even more difficult when our children stray from the faith, resist authority, or make choices that go against our values. Today, we’re in the final week of our Leading When It’s Hard series, and we’re tackling a topic that many parents face: leading when your kids are rebelling.

This conversation is complex because every family dynamic is different. Considerations include:

• Are your kids still living at home, or are they adults living on their own?
• How old are they?
• Are they biological children, or is this a blended family situation?
• Were you a believer before having children, or did you come to faith later, bringing significant changes to your household?

While each situation is unique, the Bible provides timeless wisdom for navigating this difficult journey. Let’s explore three key principles: praying, training and modeling, and loving unconditionally without affirming sin.

1. Pray

First and foremost, cover your child in prayer. Ask God to soften their heart and grant you wisdom in how to best lead them.

Philippians 4:6-7 – “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

Worrying about our children seems like a natural part of parenting. From infancy through adulthood, our concerns grow as the consequences of their choices become more significant. However, Scripture does not give us an exception for worrying about our kids. It commands us not to worry about anything but to bring everything before God in prayer.

Additionally, while it’s natural to want to protect our children from pain, we should be careful not to pray away all consequences of their actions.

Consider the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32)—it was only when the son hit rock bottom that he came to his senses. If the father had prayed for his son to avoid hardship, the young man might never have returned home in repentance.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 – “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

2. Train and Model

Leading our children spiritually is not just about giving instructions—it’s about modeling the faith we want them to follow.

Proverbs 22:6 – “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”

This is a proverb, not a guarantee. While raising children in God’s truth increases the likelihood that they will remain faithful, they still have free will. However, a solid foundation makes a lasting impact.

A key question to ask: Is their behavior in spite of my parenting or because of my parenting? If we need to seek forgiveness for past mistakes, we should humble ourselves and do so.

Some parents emphasize righteousness and holiness but struggle to model tenderness and mercy. Others err on the side of being too lenient, attempting to be a friend rather than a parent. We must find balance.

Ephesians 6:4 – “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”

If we’ve made parenting mistakes, it’s never too late to change. A sincere apology and a commitment to leading in love and wisdom can transform our relationship with our children.

3. Love Unconditionally, Without Affirming Sinful Behavior

Loving our children does not mean condoning their choices. We can express love while standing firm in truth.

Romans 5:8-10 – “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation.”

God’s love for us is unconditional, but it does not excuse sin. In the same way, we must extend love to our children while making it clear that sin has consequences.

Some practical steps:

• Establish clear boundaries for children still living at home.
• If they are adults living independently, continue to be a loving presence while maintaining biblical convictions.
• Pick your battles wisely—especially if you are a new believer making household changes. Instead of demanding immediate compliance, allow your children to see the transformation in your life through the fruit of the Spirit.

For example, instead of banning all secular music overnight, start by eliminating explicit content. If your child is no longer living under your roof, you can still engage them in meaningful conversations about faith without forcing them into compliance.\

Final Thoughts

Leading when your children are rebelling is heartbreaking and challenging, but it is not impossible. Through prayer, godly modeling, and unconditional love, we can lead our children toward faith, even if they stray.

God is faithful. Keep trusting Him, keep leading well, and keep praying. The seeds you plant today may bear fruit in ways you cannot yet see.

Galatians 6:9 – “Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

Welcome back to the podcast, men! We’re in episode 2 of our series: When it's Tough to Lead.  Today’s topic: How do we lead if our wife is an unbeliever or is living in rebellion?

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

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Stay in your lane and pray, pray, pray 

Our role is to share the gospel and make disciples.  The Holy Spirit’s role is to bring conviction and change hearts.  Pray to the Holy Spirit, asking him to bring conviction to your spouse and to give you the strength to stay the course.

• One of the hardest things for us as men to remember is to stay in our lane.  What I mean by that is it isn’t our job to convict our wife or soften their heart.  Only God can do that.  That is the role the Holy Spirit. 

John 16:7-8 But in fact, it is best for you that I go away, because if I don’t, the Advocate[a] won’t come. If I do go away, then I will send him to you. 8 And when he comes, he will convict the world of its sin, and of God’s righteousness, and of the coming judgment.

• One of the primary roles of the Holy Spirit is to convict the world of sin. 

Acts 13:3 Acts 13:3 So after more fasting and prayer, the men laid their hands on them and sent them on their way.

• Context of this verse - sending Paul and Barnabas commission to go out on their missionary journey. The church knew the importance of praying for Paul and Barnabas and in praying for the Holy Spirit to move and soften hearts. 
• Pray for the Holy Spirit to soften your wife’s heart and bring conviction.  Pray for the Holy Spirit to bring others into her life who will also point her to Jesus. 
• Pray for strength.  Pray for endurance. Fight for your marriage. 

1 Corinthians 7:12-14 Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a fellow believer[c] has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. 

1 Corinthians 7: 16  Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?

• If you were a Christian when you married and you married a non-believer, I want to say this as compassionately as I can, but let this be a good reminder to you that God’s boundaries are for your good.  
• Fight for your marriage.  

Actions Speak Louder than Words 

Actions speak louder than words. Live with your wife in an understanding way and let your love and good deeds point her to Jesus.

1 Peter 3:1-2, 7  In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives. 

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

• I know the verse is directed at wives who have an unbelieving husband but the pure and reverent lives part is certainly applicable to a husband who has a non-believing wife. 
• You are a vessel that God wants to use to pour out his love and grace on your wife.
• We started this episode out by talking about the importance of prayer.  Here we’re told to treat our wives as we should so that our prayers will not be hindered.  We’ve all heard the phrase “1 step forward, 2 steps back”. That’s what’s happening if you’re praying for God to soften your wife’s heart and bring conviction, but then you’re not treating her the way you should treat her. 
• If you want to lead her, serve her. Jesus said if we want to be first, we should be last. We’ve talked a lot on this podcast about Godly leadership and Godly leadership is servant leadership. 

Pick Your Battles

If you make everything a black and white issue, your spouse is going to feel like you’re a dictator.  This requires us to be led by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God so that we can balance when to stand firm and when to compromise.

Luke 14:25-27 A large crowd was following Jesus. He turned around and said to them, 26 “If you want to be my disciple, you must, by comparison, hate everyone else—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple. 27 And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.

• Clearly, we can’t compromise on everything.  We can’t let the fear of our wife being mad or leaving us have more authority in our lives than God’s truth. 

1 Corinthians 5:12 It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning.

• Evaluating the difference between leading your wife and leading your children. 
• Social media, media for example
• Requiring my kids to go to church, 

If your wife professes to be a believer, but is rebelling, bring in other believers. Matthew 18 protocol.  Bring in your church leaders. 

Matthew 18:15-17 “If another believer[d] sins against you,[e] go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. 17 If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.

Close

Romans 12:17-18 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

1 Corinthians 7:15 (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife[e] is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you[f] to live in peace.)

Hey men, welcome back to the podcast! Today, we’re going to kick off a three part series titled, “When it is tough to lead.”  The Bible makes it clear that the mantle of leadership in the home and in the church has been placed on men. --

The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

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Ephesians 5:22-30 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.[b] 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

• 1 Corinthians 11:3 But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
• I think the command is clear.  I think that men who are really pursuing God and trying to live by his standards want to do it, or at least recognize they’re called to do it.  But how do we do it? How do we do it when our wife has been a Christian longer or has more Bible knowledge than we do? How do we do it if our wife is walking away from God? How do we lead in the home when our children are rebelling from God?  That’s what we’re going to try and answer in this series.  Today, we’re looking at how to lead when our wife has been a believer longer than us, or has more Biblical knowledge than us.  And I want to start with this…

Be Thankful 

If your wife has been a Christian longer than you, or has more biblical knowledge than you, thank God for her.

• I’m not saying that it can’t or doesn’t create a set of problems.  It can.  But what a great problem to have. If this is the episode in this series that you’re battling, I guarantee you the guys who are battling with the next episode, how to lead when your wife is walking away from God, would trade places with you in a heartbeat.  
• Let me read a couple of verses…

Proverbs 31:10-11 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. 11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;  but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

• Thank God for your wife and her love for him.  Thank your wife. Ask your wife to forgive you for not spiritually leading up to this point if you haven’t been. 

Initiate, Initiate, Initiate

Leading means initiating.  Initiating time in prayer and initiating time in the Word. 

Leading isn’t the same as teaching. Teaching is an element of leading, but leadership is much broader.  You can lead in service, reconciliation, and direction for your family.  Ephesians 5:22-30, 1 Peter 3:7, Ephesians 4:32 

• Initiate Time in Prayer 
• Initiate Time in the Word
• Doesn’t mean you have to give your wife a sermon.  You can read together.  You can ask her what God has been saying to her in her time in the Word.  You can share what God has been saying to you in your time in the Word. 
• Initiate Connection

1 Peter 3:7 

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

• Some translations - the weaker vessel.  Physically weaker is part of that, but I think it’s more.  Treat her with care. Help her to feel cherished. 
• When initiating connection, evaluate if your family is going in the right direction. Are you keeping the main things the main things? 
• Initiate Reconciliation 
• Ephesians 4:32  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. 

Lead for Growth

Don’t confuse Biblical knowledge or literacy with maturity. Help your family grow in maturity, not just knowledge.

1 Corinthians 8:1 Now concerning[a] food offered to idols: we know that “all of us possess knowledge.” This “knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up. 

• Hopefully, if your wife has ore biblical knowledge than you, she is also maturing in her faith.  She’s going full circle. If so, praise God.  She’ll probably be excited that you’re stepping up to lead now.  If not, help her grow in maturity. 

Luke 6:46 Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you? 

• How do we approach our wives when we need to correct? We need to remember we’re a plank eyed sinner - check our motives, check our own sin issues, gentleness