The Men's Podcast

“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”

Ephesians 5:3

We should be pure because God calls us to be. 

This is the mindset we need to pursue. It isn’t out of fear of consequences, hope for a better future, or anything else. It needs to be out of love and respect for God and his standards. But we will get into that more tomorrow.

The question for today is, what is purity? 

It is ensuring there is not even a hint of sexual immorality in our lives.

That is a pretty high standard, and it can feel daunting to achieve that especially if you have been living in this sin for a while. I know I felt like that was an impossible task when I started this journey. But then I learned something that changed everything:

This battle is not about what you do, it’s about who you are becoming.

Sexual purity isn’t just about avoiding porn or staying away from the wrong websites. That’s surface-level thinking. This journey isn’t about what you do—it’s about finally being the man God calls you to be. And God is calling you to become a man of honor, discipline, and integrity. Sexual purity is the byproduct of a life that belongs fully to Jesus.

The truth is, we live in a world that constantly puts sex in our faces—on our phones, in music, in ads, in movies. So living this new life will not be easy.

You are going to have to make some sacrifices that will hurt.

I know when I began this journey, two things were true:

1. I was ready to do whatever it took
2. I was sick of being lied to, by the enemy, by the world, and by myself

So I’m not going to do that to you. Here is the honest truth: somedays, this is gonna suck. It’s going to hurt like hell and there will be moments where you will think life was better before.

But remember how you feel right now, ready to be free. Purity is not a one time decision, it isn’t a one size fits all step by step guide, and it definitely isn’t a pay your way service. So what is it then?

Purity is a daily pursuit of God.

It is waking up everyday and deciding, just for today, to live for God and with God in every area of your life.

Half measures and white knuckling it will not work, but you already know that.

You can’t live in freedom if you're pretending you don’t need it.

Begin the Process of Becoming a New Man

Following Jesus means more than a one-time decision. It’s a daily process of surrender. Think of your heart like a house. Have you locked Jesus out of any rooms? Maybe there's a room marked “Lust” or “Shame” or “Private Struggles.” Jesus doesn't want visitation rights—He wants ownership.

“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in...”

— Revelation 3:20 (NLT)

When Jesus knocks, He’s not just being polite. He’s coming to set you free. But freedom will require sacrifice, intensity, and honor. You won’t drift into purity—you’ll have to fight for it.

The 3 Rules to Start With:

No secrets.

1. You can't heal what you hide.
2. Be 100% honest all the time, no matter what

No compromise. What you allow in small amounts will master you over time.

1. In your allowed media, eye discipline, etc.
2. In your consistency

No excuses.

1. This is a battle of consistency, you won’t win it in a day, but you have to win today.
2. It’s time to be mature
3. You are in control, any other idea is a lie

The Key Disciplines to Embrace:

• Daily time in God’s Word – Truth renews your mind.
• Authentic brotherhood – You weren’t meant to fight alone.
• Radical honesty – Say it out loud. Darkness dies in the light.
• Prayer and worship – Not just in crisis, but as a lifestyle.
• Fasting and boundaries – Train your body to follow your

Mentioned in this episode:

Outro

Intro

Welcome back to the podcast! The assassination of Charlie Kirk shocked many in our nation and left believers struggling with emotions of grief, fear, anger, and even hopelessness. Today, we're going to unpack that.

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

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While we must name this tragedy for what it is—an evil act—we must also allow God’s Word to shape how we process and respond. Scripture provides wisdom, perspective, and hope in moments when evil seems overwhelming.

One of the first steps in responding to tragedy is honesty. Isaiah warns, “What sorrow for those who say that evil is good and good is evil, that dark is light and light is dark, that bitter is sweet and sweet is bitter” (Isaiah 5:20 NLT). The murder of a husband, father, and leader is not simply unfortunate or politically charged—it is evil. And just as evil is real, so are the responses that flow from it. When people celebrate such acts, that too is evil. As Christians, we must resist the temptation to minimize or excuse what God calls wrong.

Some may argue Charlie Kirk was targeted for his political positions, but many of his stances flowed from biblical principles. Jesus prepared His followers for this reality: “If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. … Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you” (John 15:18, 20 NLT).

The apostles in Acts understood this truth firsthand. After being beaten for preaching Christ, “the apostles left the high council rejoicing that God had counted them worthy to suffer disgrace for the name of Jesus” (Acts 5:41 NLT). Their perspective was not rooted in despair but in joy that their suffering connected them to their Savior.

Today, many of us in the U.S. rarely face this kind of hostility. Yet globally, persecution is a daily reality. According to Open Doors, an average of 13 Christians are killed each day simply for following Jesus. This tragedy should remind us to pray for persecuted believers worldwide and to prepare our hearts to stand firm in our own faith.

Moments like this can stir fear. If such violence can happen here, what could happen to us or our families? Jesus addressed this very question: “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matthew 10:28 NLT).

The psalmist also found confidence in God’s protection: “The Lord is my light and my salvation—so why should I be afraid? … Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident” (Psalm 27:1, 3 NLT). Fear is natural, but faith calls us to trust God’s eternal security and His ever-present help.

It is right to feel anger when evil takes a life. Scripture affirms this: “Be angry, and yet do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Ephesians 4:26 NLT). Anger must not drive us to hate people, stereotype groups, or retaliate with violence. Instead, we are called to hate evil itself: “You who love the Lord, hate evil! He protects the lives of his godly people and rescues them from the power of the wicked” (Psalm 97:10 NLT).

Our role is to expose darkness with light, not add more darkness to the world. God Himself promises to bring judgment: “I will take revenge; I will pay them back” (Romans 12:19 NLT). We can rest in the assurance that He will make every wrong right.

Perhaps the greatest danger after tragedy is despair. When evil appears to win, it is easy to lose heart. Yet the gospel declares that the war has already been won. “What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?” (Romans 8:31 NLT).

The cross looked like defeat on Friday, but the resurrection on Sunday proved that Jesus is victorious. This hope anchors us in the face of suffering. Paul reminds us, “Let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up” (Galatians 6:9 NLT).

The brevity of life should also sharpen our perspective. James writes, “How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone” (James 4:14 NLT). Missionary Jim Elliott captured this truth: “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”

For believers, death is not the end. Jesus promised eternal life, and that reality gives us courage to face even the darkest events with hope.

Charlie Kirk’s death reminds us of sobering truths: evil is real, persecution is costly, fear and anger must be handled carefully, and despair is never the final word. But Scripture also reminds us that Christ has overcome the world. Our task is to cling to Him, call evil what it is, encourage one another, and keep proclaiming the hope of the gospel until He returns.

Welcome to Fight Club.

A community of young men dedicated to pursuing freedom from lust and victory in Jesus Christ.

Join or Die (in your sin).

Mentioned in this episode:

Outro

Intro

Welcome back men! Today, we finish our series on physical intimacy by unpacking exactly that: what it practically looks like to be physically intimate with your wife, in a way that honors God.

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

Donate Now

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God designed physical intimacy in marriage as a gift, not just for procreation but also for joy, unity, and delight. Yet many couples struggle because life’s responsibilities, physical health, or lack of intentionality can keep intimacy from flourishing. In this final episode of the series, we’ll talk about practical, biblical ways to nurture physical intimacy in marriage that both honors God and blesses your spouse.

The Bible celebrates the beauty and strength of the human body. Taking care of your health is not about vanity but stewardship. When we’re healthy and active, intimacy is often more fulfilling. Song of Solomon describes physical beauty in vivid terms. “His arms are like rounded bars of gold, set with beryl. His body is like bright ivory, glowing with lapis lazuli. His legs are like marble pillars, set in sockets of finest gold” (Song of Solomon 5:14-15). Good health blesses both you and your marriage. Simple practices like regular exercise, healthy eating, and even strengthening key muscle groups can enhance intimacy and honor God with your body.

A thriving marriage includes learning how to lovingly serve one another in intimacy. Peter reminds husbands to live with their wives “in an understanding way” (1 Peter 3:7). That means listening, learning, and growing in your knowledge of what pleases your spouse. Explore together, communicate openly, and don’t take yourself too seriously. God designed the body with incredible sensitivity and potential for pleasure. Learning what your wife enjoys—whether through foreplay, touch, or intentional conversation—is part of honoring her as a partner in God’s grace.

Many wives carry heavy mental loads—responsibilities at work, with kids, and around the home—that can make intimacy difficult. One of the most loving things you can do is help relieve those burdens. Do the dishes, handle bedtime, or take on a few tasks so she can relax. Protect your space by locking doors, keeping kids out of the marital bed, and eliminating distractions. Plan extended times away or create intentional space where intimacy is unrushed. Song of Solomon captures this beautifully: “Come, my love, let us go out to the fields and spend the night among the wildflowers. Let us get up early and go to the vineyards… There I will give you my love” (Song of Solomon 7:11-13).

Physical intimacy doesn’t flourish by accident. Life is busy, so make time on purpose. Put it on the calendar if you need to. Plan date nights, short getaways, or quiet evenings at home. The health of your marriage depends not on spontaneous passion alone but on intentional choices to connect deeply, body and soul.

Wekcome back, men! In today’s episode, we’ll discuss why intimacy in marriage isn’t about taking—it’s about giving—and how getting your mind right can transform both your perspective and your relationship.

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

Donate Now

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God’s Gift of Physical Intimacy, Part 2: Get Your Mind Right

In our second week on God’s gift of physical intimacy, we’re focusing on something that happens outside the bedroom: getting our minds and hearts right about sex. Last time, we explored how serving and cherishing our wives in everyday life—like speaking her love language or helping around the house—sets the stage for intimacy. This week, we’re going deeper into the mental and spiritual foundation that fuels healthy physical intimacy in marriage.

Most of us were raised in a culture that trains us to think about sex selfishly. Movies, TV, and even locker-room talk usually frame intimacy as something to “get.” But the Bible paints a radically different picture.

Philippians 2:4 (NLT) says: “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”

Romans 12:10 (NLT) adds: “Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.”

These verses remind us that intimacy is not about taking, but about giving. When a husband enters intimacy with the mindset of honoring his wife—meeting her needs, showing her she is desired, and giving her something he shares with no one else—it changes the entire experience. A marriage retreat speaker once put it this way: “Stop thinking about having sex, and start thinking about giving sex.” That shift in perspective can transform not only the bedroom but also the entire marriage.

Another place many couples struggle is with false expectations. If your picture of physical intimacy has been shaped by media or pornography, you’ve been misled. Real intimacy in marriage does not look like a movie scene.

Here’s the reality:

• It doesn’t always happen quickly.
• It doesn’t always look perfect.
• It isn’t about endless passion or flawless performance.

Instead, God designed sex to be about genuine connection, patience, and love. A healthy marriage won’t mirror what’s seen online—it will reflect real life, with all its ups and downs. When we surrender our expectations to God and embrace reality, we free ourselves from disappointment and discover deeper satisfaction in His design.

Romans 12:2 (NLT) says: “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

God’s will for intimacy is good, pleasing, and perfect—but only when we renew our minds to see it His way.

Physical intimacy is not just physical—it’s emotional, relational, and spiritual. A wife who feels secure, cherished, and loved is far more likely to desire intimacy than one who feels neglected or criticized.

The Song of Solomon shows us this principle in action. In chapter 1, the bride delights in her husband’s words of affection: “How handsome you are, my lover! How pleasant!” (Song of Solomon 1:16 NLT). In chapter 2, she feels safe under his care: “He escorts me to the banquet hall; it’s obvious how much he loves me” (Song of Solomon 2:4 NLT).

This is a reminder: intimacy begins with cherishing. Husbands, don’t reserve compliments for when you want sex. Instead, cultivate a daily lifestyle of encouragement. Compliment her beauty, but also her character, her strength, and the unique ways she blesses your life. Show her she is treasured every day, not just when you’re hoping for intimacy later.

And wives, receive the compliment. Let your husband’s words remind you of your worth. When both spouses choose to cherish each other, intimacy becomes an overflow of mutual love rather than a forced obligation.

Ultimately, “getting your mind right” about intimacy means viewing it through God’s lens:

• It’s a covenant gift, not a selfish act.
• It’s about connection, not performance.
• It grows stronger when we honor each other daily, not just in the bedroom.

When husbands lead with love and wives respond with trust, intimacy flourishes. It becomes what God intended: a reflection of two becoming one (Genesis 2:24).

Ask yourself:

• Am I approaching intimacy with a giving mindset?
• Have I let culture shape my expectations more than Scripture?
• Am I actively cherishing and affirming my spouse in ways that build security and desire?

God’s design for intimacy is not only about passion—it’s about partnership. When you renew your mind, cherish your spouse, and honor God’s design, you’ll discover that physical intimacy in marriage can be one of the most joyful, life-giving gifts He has given.

Welcome back to the podcast, men! In today’s episode, we’re unpacking God’s good design for sex in marriage—and how to protect that intimacy from the enemy’s attacks so your marriage can thrive with joy, unity, and blessing.

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

Donate Now

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God’s Good Design for Intimacy

From the very beginning, God created sexual intimacy as a beautiful and life-giving part of marriage. It’s not dirty. It’s not something God just “puts up with.” It’s a gift meant to be celebrated between a husband and wife. Genesis 2:24-25 reminds us that in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were naked and felt no shame. Physical intimacy was God’s idea—and He designed it to bring joy, unity, and blessing.

Proverbs 5:18-19 paints a beautiful picture of marital love: “Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you… may you always be captivated by her love.” And in 1 Corinthians 7:5, Paul encourages married couples to stay connected physically, only stepping back from intimacy temporarily and mutually for the purpose of prayer. Then, he says, come back together so the enemy doesn’t use that gap to tempt you.

Beware of the Enemy’s Tactics

Jesus warns us in John 10:10 that the thief’s purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy. One of the enemy’s favorite ways to attack a marriage is by eroding physical intimacy. For decades, experts have said that money and sex are two of the leading causes of divorce. Even if a couple stays married, when intimacy suffers, joy and connection often fade.

That’s why Philippians 4:6 is so important: pray about everything—including your physical relationship. Ask God to protect your marriage from division in this area. Pray for open and loving communication. Pray for healing if there’s been broken trust, sexual sin, or wounds from the past. And if either spouse is carrying shame or guilt, ask God to lift that burden and restore joy.

Filling Your Spouse’s Love Tank

Ephesians 5:25 calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church—sacrificially and selflessly. One of the best ways to build desire for intimacy is by speaking your spouse’s love language:

• Quality Time
• Words of Affirmation
• Physical Touch
• Acts of Service
• Gifts

The key is loving your spouse in ways that are meaningful to them, not just in ways that are natural to you. That means learning what fills their “love tank” and making it a priority. If her love language is physical touch, make sure there’s affectionate touch that isn’t just a lead-in to sex. If it’s quality time, let her define what that means—unhurried, undistracted time together. When your wife feels loved, seen, and valued, intimacy naturally grows.

The Role of Compromise in Intimacy

In most marriages, one spouse will have a higher sex drive than the other. That’s normal. 1 Corinthians 7:4 reminds us that in marriage, each spouse gives authority over their body to the other, meaning intimacy is a shared gift, not a personal possession. The healthiest approach is open communication and a willingness to meet in the middle.

Sometimes that involves being mindful of practical realities. Leviticus 18:19 notes that there are times when intimacy isn’t possible, and understanding your wife’s cycle can help you anticipate when she may be more inclined toward intimacy. By paying attention to each other’s needs and rhythms, you can strengthen your connection rather than drift apart.

God’s Vision for Your Marriage

God’s heart is for your marriage to be marked by joy, unity, and mutual delight. Sexual intimacy is not just about physical pleasure—it’s a deeply spiritual and emotional bond that reflects God’s love for His people. Protect it through prayer. Nurture it through intentional love and service. Guard it against the enemy’s schemes. And remember: intimacy is not just a part of marriage—it’s a gift from God to be treasured and enjoyed.

Welcome back to the podcast, men! The enemy is targeting our sons with lies about sex, and far too many are falling silently. This episode equips dads to speak truth early, clearly, and biblically — before it’s too late.

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

Donate Now

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Raising Sons Who Flee Sexual Immorality

In today’s episode, we’re tackling one of the biggest—and most under-discussed—battles facing the next generation of young men: sexual purity. The statistics are staggering. Over 75% of young Christian men between the ages of 18–24 are actively searching for pornography. And the average age of first exposure? Just 13 years old.

This isn’t just a cultural issue. It’s a spiritual battle. The enemy knows that sexual sin can derail a man’s future, destroy families, and distort God’s good design. And he’s coming for our sons early. If we want to raise sons who flee sexual immorality, we can’t wait until they’re in high school. We must start the conversation now—with wisdom, grace, and truth.

Here’s what we’ll cover in this episode:

Sexual immorality is a trap with devastating consequences. Proverbs 2:16-19 and 5:1-6 paint a clear and sobering picture of what happens when a young man follows the path of seduction and lust. The Bible doesn’t shy away from these warnings, and neither should we. In fact, three of the first six chapters of Proverbs directly address this issue. Solomon knew the stakes—and so should we.

Satan has been using the same tactic since the Garden of Eden: “God can’t be trusted. He’s holding out on you.” That lie still works today, especially in the realm of sexuality. Culture reinforces the message that freedom comes from doing whatever feels good, but Scripture shows us that true freedom is found in honoring God’s boundaries. 1 Peter 5:8 warns us to stay alert, because the enemy is actively looking for someone to devour.

Today’s kids are exposed to sexual content earlier than ever before. Some studies show that 15% of kids have seen porn by the age of 10. That means waiting until the teen years to talk about sex is too late. Proverbs 4:1-4 reminds us of the value of a father’s early instruction. Our sons need guidance before the culture has a chance to shape their understanding of manhood and sexuality.

If your son is brave enough to ask questions, that’s a gift. Don’t shut him down or dodge the conversation. Meet him with honesty and grace. Equip him to trust God’s design, not the world’s confusion. If we don’t answer their questions, someone else will—and that someone may not have their best interests in mind.

Dads, this is your moment. The world is loud, but your voice can be louder—if you’re willing to have the hard conversations, grounded in Scripture and led by love. Don’t wait until he’s already entangled. Start now. Speak up. And help your son walk in the freedom that comes from honoring God’s design.

Key Scriptures:

• Proverbs 2:16-19
• Proverbs 5:1-6
• Proverbs 4:1-4
• Proverbs 6 (overview)
• Genesis 3:4-5
• 1 Peter 5:8

Welcome back to the podcast, men! Today, we're continuing our "Fathers and Sons" series, talking about forgiveness, peace, and teaching our sons where to find their true value.

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

Donate Now

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Raising Sons: Forgiveness, Peace, and True Value

Raising godly sons isn’t just about teaching discipline and work ethic—it’s also about shaping their hearts. In this conversation, we explore three essential values every dad should intentionally pass on to his sons: forgiveness, peacemaking, and knowing their true source of value. These character traits don’t just happen—they’re modeled, discussed, and prayed over.

One of the most powerful lessons we can give our sons is the ability to both ask for forgiveness and offer it to others. Paul encourages believers to "make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you" (Colossians 3:13 NLT). That means we need to expect that others will let us down—and decide ahead of time to respond with grace.

• Forgiveness starts with us. Model it by saying, “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you”—not “It’s okay.” Sin is never “okay,” but it is forgivable.
• Own your mistakes. There's nothing weak about asking for forgiveness. It shows maturity, strength, and humility. Some of the most memorable moments with your kids might be the ones where you admit you blew it.
• Forgive freely. Whether or not someone apologizes, we forgive because Jesus forgave us first (Ephesians 4:32). Unforgiveness leads to bitterness and restlessness (Matthew 6:14-15), and that’s not the kind of legacy we want to pass down.

Jesus said, “God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God” (Matthew 5:9 NLT). In today’s world of constant division and outrage, men of peace are desperately needed—in homes, churches, and workplaces.

• Being a peacemaker doesn’t mean compromising truth. It means doing everything possible to maintain healthy, godly relationships.
• Train your sons to be good listeners. Teach them to practice reflective listening and avoid always preparing their rebuttal.
• Reconciliation starts with us. Especially in marriage, encourage your sons to be the ones who lead with humility and take the first step toward peace.
• At our church, one of our core values is: We work hard at healthy relationships. We assume the best about one another. That’s a value worth passing on.

The world tries to convince our sons that their worth is tied to what they earn, own, or accomplish. But Jesus points us to a different standard:

• Hard work is good, and we should absolutely teach our sons to value it. But career, money, and possessions can easily become idols.
• Help them resist materialism. Talk about wise stewardship, avoiding debt, and aligning financial habits with biblical values.
• Value comes from Christ. Build their identity in who they are in Jesus—not in what they own or how much they make.

These aren’t just nice ideas—they’re kingdom values. And if we want our sons to live them out, we need to plant them early and water them often.

Welcome back to the podcast, men! In the last episode, we wrapped up our fathers and daughters series! Today we’re going to shift gears and talk about fathers and sons. 

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

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Welcome back to the podcast, men! We’ve just wrapped up our series on Fathers and Daughters, and today we’re kicking off a brand-new conversation: Fathers and Sons.

While many of the same parenting principles apply to both sons and daughters, Scripture teaches that God created men and women with unique roles and responsibilities. That means our parenting approach toward sons should reflect those God-given distinctions.

Whether your sons are still at home or fully grown, this conversation is for you. If you’re a grandfather, these principles still apply as you influence your grandsons or encourage your adult sons in their own fatherhood journey.

One of the most important roles a father plays is helping his son pursue wisdom and pursue God. It’s not enough to simply model wisdom; we need to have direct, intentional conversations about it.

Proverbs 3:1-6 (NLT)

"My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart... Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding."

Solomon—the wisest man who ever lived—understood the importance of passing wisdom to the next generation. As dads, that’s our responsibility too.

Whether you’re naturally talkative or more reserved, God calls every father to teach. This doesn’t mean you need to be a Bible scholar or a polished speaker. Just be intentional.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (NLT)

"Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up."

Practical ways to do this include reading the Bible together, listening to Bible-based podcasts, or using tools like the resources at pursueGOD.org.

Proverbs 3:13-15 (NLT)

"Joyful is the person who finds wisdom... Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her."

A wise son will experience more joy and fewer regrets—whether it’s about money, relationships, or making wise life choices.

Fathers must teach their sons the value of hard work. Work is not a punishment—it’s part of God’s design for men.

Genesis 2:15 (NLT)

"The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it."

Before sin entered the world, God gave Adam meaningful work. This shows that work is not a result of the fall—it’s a fundamental part of being a man.

Unfortunately, in today’s culture, too many men are disengaged from the workforce. In August 2024, 6.8 million American men between ages 25 and 54 were neither working nor looking for work.

As fathers, it’s our job to push back against this trend. Sons need to learn that work isn’t just about earning a paycheck—it’s about fulfilling their God-given purpose.

Colossians 3:17 (NLT)

"And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father."

Whether it’s mowing lawns, washing cars, or helping with household chores, let’s teach our sons that work is good, meaningful, and God-honoring.

One of the biggest challenges for young men today is fear of failure. Many sons grow up paralyzed by indecision because they’re afraid of making mistakes.

That’s why fathers must teach their sons that mistakes are part of life—and part of growth.

Romans 8:28 (NLT)

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."

This verse doesn’t just apply to things outside our control. It also applies to the consequences of our own bad decisions. God can redeem even our biggest blunders.

Proverbs 16:9 (NLT)

"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps."

Making plans is important, but we should hold those plans loosely and trust God with the outcome.

1 Timothy 1:15-16 (NLT)

"This is a trustworthy saying... 'Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners'—and I am the worst of them all."

Paul’s testimony reminds us that no mistake is too big for God’s grace.

Proverbs 10:8 (NLT)

"The wise are glad to be instructed, but babbling fools fall flat on their faces."

Are you modeling grace when your son fails? Are you affirming your love for him even when he makes mistakes? Don’t let perfectionism or criticism steal your son’s courage.

Remember: If it was easy, everyone would do it.

Fathering sons takes intentionality and biblical focus. Whether your son is 5 or 35, ask God to help you speak wisdom, model work ethic, and extend grace when mistakes happen.

This week, find one specific way to engage with your son (or grandson) on one of these topics.

You’re building into the next generation of godly men.

Welcome back to the pod, men! Spending quality time with our daughters is critical, even if it isn’t their primary love language.  They get to define what that quality time looks like for them.

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Hey men, we’re in the last episode of our Fathers and Daughters series.  I hope this has been helpful.  I know it’s been convicting for me, but encouraging, too. I actually have some action steps coming out of today’s episode with my own daughter, and I’d encourage you to think about action steps for yourself coming out of it as well.  

•  Let’s just do a quick recap if you missed the first two episodes in this series.  If you did, I encourage you to go back and listen when you have some time.  In the first episode we talked about the importance of loving our wives well so that our daughters can see what to look for in a man.  We talked about being intentional about speaking their love language and staying in our lane.  The truth is that there are some conversations better left to have between your daughter and your wife or another trusted Christian woman if you’re in a single parent situation. 
• Last episode we talked about speaking   truth against the lies of the enemy in the areas of beauty,  differences between the genders, and purity.  Today, is going to be a little bit more of a mixed bag.  I knew it was the last episode for this series and just wanted to hit a couple of highlights.  This may not be as structured as our typical episode, but I’m hopeful and prayerful that it is still valuable.  

Spending quality time with our daughters is critical, even if it isn’t their primary love language.  They get to define what that quality time looks like for them.

Philippians 2:3-8 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. 5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.6 Though he was God,[a]                 he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. 7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges[b];  he took the humble position of a slave[c]  and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form,[d] 8   he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. 

• Our daughters should get a say on what constitutes quality time. 
• Rhonda - loved to hike, camp, backpack, fish - didn’t like to shop.  Some of the reasons I was so attracted to her. We share a lot of similar interests. 
• Healthy to expose them to new things, get them to try new things. Sometimes you discover something you love to do together.  But that’s not always the case. Sometimes you have to take one for the team and do something you don’t necessarily enjoy. Do it with the right attitude.   Love is a choice. I don’t think Jesus was giddy about going to the cross, but we know for the joy set before him, he endured the cross. 

Appropriate levels of tenderness and physical touch by a father have a significant impact on the likelihood that girls will be sexually active. 

• Watch your tone. Be gentle.   I’m not  against raising tough girls.  Girls who are mentally tough is a great thing.  
• Study after study link absent fathers with an increase in sexual activity for young women.                  

There will always be stuff pulling for our attention.  Don’t let the urgent things get in the way of the important things. Sacrificing our relationships with our daughters to get ahead at work is never worth it. Judges 11:29-31 

Judges 11:29-31 At that time the Spirit of the Lord came upon Jephthah, and he went throughout the land of Gilead and Manasseh, including Mizpah in Gilead, and from there he led an army against the Ammonites. 30 And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord. He said, “If you give me victory over the Ammonites, 31 I will give to the Lord whatever comes out of my house to meet me when I return in triumph. I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.”

• Our sacrifices look different. Do we miss the band recital because of a deadline? Do we miss meeting the young man who is going to take our daughter on her first date because we’re working late at the office?  Men, if you’re in ministry, are your priorities in order? 

Give your daughters instruction and encourage them to seek wisdom.  Help them become capable, not independent.

Proverbs 4:5-7 Get wisdom; develop good judgment.

    Don’t forget my words or turn away from them.

6 Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you.

    Love her, and she will guard you.

7 Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!

    And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.