The Mental Offload Podcast

You've probably spent a fair bit of your adult life leading others.

At home, we're often sitting in the Chief Household Officer seat.

At work, you're in charge of a team, as well as clients, stakeholders, competing priorities, and dealing with any fires that flare up…

And you know that it takes time, effort, and planning if you want to be good at it.

But when it comes to leading yourself…

Who decides what deserves your time and attention?

Who decides when you're ready for the next opportunity?

Who builds your confidence when your boss isn't particularly supportive?

Who creates clarity for you when you're in uncertain waters?

Who helps you get strategic about your decisions?

The women who navigate these questions with a strong sense of agency usually have honed the skill of self-leadership.

Self-leadership sets the foundation for all of our leadership skills. And it's even more critical to develop as you become more senior.

Because the higher you go, the less your career comes with a syllabus.

There is often less structure. More ambiguity. More decisions that don't have an obvious right answer. The egos are bigger and the stakes are higher.

So, you have to become the person who can create direction for yourself, because at senior levels this is what others are looking to you for.

Let me be clear: this is not about becoming more disciplined, more self-critical, or improving your ability to tolerate a toxic environment.

It's about becoming your own source of steadiness and confidence, even when your environment isn't handing those things to you.

In the episode, I break self-leadership down into 6 distinct domains, from regulating your emotions, to making confident decisions, to defining how you want to be known, and more.

What You'll Learn:

• The 6 domains of self-leadership

• How to take responsibility for yourself, without taking on responsibility for everything around you

• A guided self-assessment on self-leadership

• One simple question to practice more intentional self-leadership in each domain

I hope this episode gives you a useful new lens for thinking about your career, your ambition, and what it means to lead yourself well.

For more info, visit The Mental Offload.

The Lindsay Clancy trial touched a collective nerve—not only in America, but around the world.

There are people in the manosphere arguing that the sympathy and support for Lindsay Clancy proves a nefarious desire to give women free rein to commit murder.

I think that's a laughable stance. But I do think there's a question sitting under their dismay:

Why has someone accused of killing her own children generated such an outpouring of sympathy and support? Especially when it would normally generate universal condemnation and horror.

Some of it has to do with the specifics of the case, of course.

But I think it's also because of the postpartum experiences we see reflected in this case.

It has to do with postpartum mental health. It has to do with the mental load that never lets up. It has to do with the impossible expectations we place on mothers, with no village to support them. And it has to do with the way society has somehow decided that if a mother is still functioning on the outside, she must be okay on the inside.

I explore all of this in a special bonus episode of The Mental Offload Podcast.

In this episode, we'll explore:

• Why being "functional" is the wrong KPI for motherhood

• How the postpartum period becomes a training camp for the impossible expectations of modern motherhood

• Why mental health treatment needs to be a complement to—not a substitute for—support with the mental load of parenting

I hope you'll join me for this bonus episode of the podcast, before Season 4 kicks off next week.

To learn more about the Mental Offload's services, visit: www.thementaloffload.com

There's a particular fantasy that many working moms have when they're burned out.

Maybe yours involves opening a bookstore. Or moving to a cottage by the sea. Or starting a business. Or just walking into your boss's office and saying, "I quit."

For me, when I was deep in burnout in my own corporate career, I remember telling my coach I just wanted to quit my job, sell my home, and go live off the grid on the ocean.

The thing is, those fantasies are telling us something important. But they aren't necessarily precise instructions for your future.

One of the biggest mistakes I see women make when they're exhausted is assuming that because something needs to change, they should blow up their career.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes a big change is exactly what's needed.

But sometimes, it's a downshift.

In this week's episode of The Mental Offload Podcast, I'm talking about what it really means to downshift your career. And how to make an intentional transition that preserves as much of what you've worked so hard to build as possible.

If you've been wondering whether you can downshift for this season of your life, this episode was made for you.

What You'll Learn:

• Why burnout fantasies make a bad career strategy

• The thought error that leads many women to abandon a career they don't actually need to leave

• The reality check to consider before going freelance or starting a business

• Key questions that can help you plan a downshift

For more information, visit The Mental Offload.

A core promise of AI adoption in the workplace: get more done, and free up time.

So why, then, do so many of us feel more underwater than ever?

It's not your imagination.

And it's not because you "need to use AI better."

New research out of UC Berkeley came to this stark conclusion:

"AI isn't reducing workload. It's intensifying it."

It's not apparent at first. Usually, there's a honeymoon period, where people are getting a lot out of AI adoption…and then, the hidden costs start to show up.

It's leading a lot of workers right into burnout.

And in a demanding leadership role, the pressure has an extra edge: you're often expected not only to use AI in your own job, but to help define and lead others to use it well.

Even in spite of any personal reservations you have about the technology.

In this episode, I get into the specific pressures of the AI age, how it's changing the day-to-day of jobs, and how to lead through it all without burning yourself out in the process.

What You'll Learn:

• The 2 different pressures that come with AI

• The hidden costs of AI adoption that leave you exhausted

• AI habits that undermine productivity (and how to win it back)

• The best burnout-protection measures to adopt now

Whether you love AI or hate it, whether your company is pushing AI adoption or not, these are the strategies you'll want to know about now.

For more information, visit The Mental Offload.

In many companies, there's a shift away from remote work.

Leaders continue a push to "return to the office". And for many working mothers, that's not good news.

Because remote work is more than a perk.

In many cases, it's the thing making a demanding career compatible with home life.

It's how you manage school pickup without panic. How you stay in a high-pressure role without outsourcing your entire life. How you plug the gaps in a society that assumes there's a parent at home.

And yet, while remote work can keep you in the career game…it can also be a new, lower, glass ceiling for women.

Why?

Well, many organizations still reward visibility more than output.

So being remote too often means you're "out of sight, out of mind".

I'm not trying to imply that remote work is bad.

Or that the answer is to just "lean in" and go back to the office.

You can successfully grow your career while being remote.

But you need to be savvy, knowing the rules you're playing by are a bit different.

In this episode of The Mental Offload Podcast, I explore the question of why women are still expected to absorb the costs of workplace flexibility individually.

And we unpack the hidden "remote tax" many women are paying, and how to protect your advancement if remote work is part of your career strategy. What You'll Learn:

• Why 90% of CEOs are stuck in an "anti-remote" mentality

• How to calculate the "remote tax" on your career

• How do you know if an organization truly supports (versus merely tolerates) remote workers?

• Specific strategies to maintain visibility, influence, and career momentum while remote

For more information, visit The Mental Offload.

A client of mine recently raised some thoughtful concerns about her company's AI rollout.

Her boss's retort was firm:

"You need to get on board the AI train. It's already moving."

And there it was. The thing so many women in leadership roles are quietly navigating right now: the pressure to perform enthusiasm around AI. Even when your actual leadership instinct is to ask the smart, hard questions.

So this week on the podcast, I'm talking about the tactical side of leading in the age of AI.

Because honestly, the pressure is real.

And the pressure becomes anxiety.

Anxiety becomes urgency.

And urgency becomes a high stakes mis-step.

Women in demanding jobs are getting hit with a brutal mix of expectations right now: stay current, move fast, embrace new tools, don't look resistant, don't look outdated, don't get left behind.

Meanwhile, the unspoken rules of what makes you valuable in the age of AI are changing underneath our feet.

So it's crucial that we talk about what really matters for your credibility, positioning, executive presence, and career trajectory right now. (Especially if you're operating at the director and above level.)

Because I'm already seeing women accidentally undermine their expertise in an effort to seem relevant in the age of AI.

And some of the advice floating around LinkedIn right now? Highly questionable.

What You'll Learn:

• The two types of pressure that lead to career mistakes
• Do you need an AI certificate on your resume? What should you NOT to do when updating your resume?
• The gendered (and ageist) double bind that can hit women who express skepticism around AI
• 3 ways to position you as a leader in the age of AI, no "fake cheerleading" involved

If you've been feeling pressure to "keep up" with AI while also trying to protect your credibility, your sanity, and your career positioning…you'll want to queue this up today.

For more information, visit The Mental Offload.

You already have the right degrees. A good job title. A salary that took years of relentless effort to earn (even if it's a fraction of what you're worth).

By any measure, you are someone who is successful.

And yet, somewhere between the school run and the performance review and the meal you planned on making from scratch, there's a nagging voice that you're still…failing.

Lots of people will offer you "mom hacks" so you can do better.

I think that's just a band-aid to cover the real issue.

We spent decades becoming experts at something we were never fully conscious of: reading a room and then acing it. We didn't just study hard. We studied what was expected.

And we delivered.

The right extracurriculars.

The right opportunities.

The right responses in the right meetings.

We became fluent in how to measure up to other people's definitions of success.

And then, kids enter the picture.

Suddenly, the existing expectations didn't go anywhere — but a brand new set landed on top of them. An unwritten job description nobody handed you, with metrics nobody explained, and performance reviews happening constantly: at school pickup, at the pediatrician, in your own head at 11pm.

It can feel like a recipe for failing at everything.

The question worth sitting with (and the one this week's episode is built around) is this:

How many of the expectations you're currently meeting did you consciously choose? And how many did you simply inherit and absorb?

In this episode of The Mental Offload Podcast, we're getting into all of it.

What You'll Learn:

• Why so much of what high-achieving women call "drive" is actually sophisticated compliance — and what changes when you finally see the difference
• The sociological concept that names exactly what happened to your bandwidth when you became a mother (and why it was never your fault)
• A practical three-question framework for auditing which expectations deserve your time and which ones you were never obligated to meet in the first place
• The crucial distinction between guilt and regret — and why learning to tell them apart might be the most liberating thing you do this year

For more information, visit The Mental Offload.

If you're balancing a big job and small kids, your time likely falls into three categories:

Work.

Family.

Keeping it all running.

Work deadlines. School logistics. Laundry. Groceries. Emails. Exercise. Trying to sleep enough. Maybe squeezing in something that technically counts as self-care.

Your days are often overstretched.

But they're productive. Responsible.

When was the last time you did something purely because it was…fun?

Not because it helped your kids or family.

Not because it improved your career.

Not because it was 'good for you.'

Just because you enjoyed it?

Now, if you're balking at the question, you get exactly why the notion of taking on a hobby seems so radical.

It's not because you don't have interests.

It's because somewhere along the way, many of us absorbed the notion that our time should always be in service of something or someone else.

If we have an extra hour, we feel pressure to use it "well."

Exercise.

Healthy meals.

That class that could help at work.

Organizing that embarrassing closet.

A hobby might sound… indulgent.

In this week's episode of *The Mental Offload Podcast*, I make the case that hobbies are not indulgent at all.

In fact, they might be so strategic that they're worth bumping some other things from your schedule.

Because here's the reality:

Most of your day drains energy.

A hobby is one of the few things that can give energy back.

And that matters more than we tend to admit.

What You'll Learn:

• Hobbies and 'self-care' are not identical
• Why we feel like we "can't afford" to have hobbies (and why you can't afford not to have one)
• The energy ROI on hobbies
• A simple assignment to help you reintroduce fun into your week

If "me time" currently feels like a guilt-ridden addition to your overflowing to-do list (or just a long-lost memory from your pre-kids days) this episode is a must-listen.

For more information, visit The Mental Offload.

When you hear the word "networking," do you feel yourself cringe a bit?

Maybe you feel awkward networking. Or maybe you tell yourself "I don't have time for networking", although deep down you know you're avoiding it.

Most of the working moms I talk to don't actually hate networking. They hate what they think networking requires of them.

Pushy. Fake. Transactional.

Needing to pretend how confident and awesome you are (even when you're feeling stuck at work).

Here's what I want you to know: that version of networking?

It does not work anyway.

And more importantly, there is a better, more authentic way to network.

In this week's episode, I'm sharing a completely different framework for building career relationships -- one that works for introverts, works for busy women with zero spare hours, and doesn't require you to cold-DM strangers or show up to awkward events clutching a stack of business cards.

I'll be honest with you: I've watched brilliant, accomplished women stall their own careers because they were waiting until they "had something to offer" before reaching out. Or waiting until they had a clear plan. Or waiting until things calmed down.

This episode is for anyone who has ever been in that waiting room.

What You'll Learn:

• Why transactional networking backfires
• The two biggest networking mistakes I see ambitious women make (and how to recognize if you're making them)
• A simple three-pillar framework for building real, career-boosting relationships without the ick factor
• A practical way to get started, even when you have zero time for networking

This one is worth carving out 20 minutes for. I promise you will think about networking differently by the time it's done.

For more information, visit The Mental Offload.

You're doing the job. Delivering results.

And yet, when it comes time to ask for more, there's a lump in your stomach.

Whether it's salary, flexibility, or even your day-to-day workload, the conversation suddenly feels…tricky.

You don't want to come across as difficult. You don't want to alienate an ally. You don't want to push "too far."

So you soften your ask. You apologize for even asking.

Or you don't ask at all.

This is one of the most important (and least talked about) dynamics I see with women, even in senior corporate roles.

And let's keep it real, it's not only in the boardroom. We bring the same fears to negotiating with our partners at home.

Because negotiation isn't just something that happens once a year in a performance review.

It's happening every day.

In how your workload expands. In what meetings you're expected to attend. In how available you're assumed to be. In how much of the mental load you agree to carry.

And the frustrating reality? Many of the typical negotiation tactics do not work the same way for women.

(Ever had a male partner or colleague advise you to "just march in there and tell 'em 'no way'?!?!...Um yeah, do not take that advice, please.)

In this week's episode, I'm sharing a conversation I had with Gerta Malaj and Alex Choi on the Soft Power podcast, all about the traps of negotiating while female—and how to navigate these moments with a clear strategy and strong confidence.

We talk about how to advocate for what you want—whether that's higher compensation, more flexibility, or simply a more sustainable way of working—without feeling like you're putting your reputation on the line.

And we get into the small, everyday boundaries that matter just as much as the big ones.

Because, at its heart, negotiation is simply the ability to communicate your desires in a way that reflects your value and respects your relationship. And lands with the person across from you.

If you've ever walked away from a conversation thinking "I should have said something," this episode is for you.

What You'll Learn:

• Why saying no is a leadership skill—and how to use it without damaging relationships

• How working across cultures impacts negotiating skill

• A simple shift that helps you position your requests and boundaries as business value

• How typical negotiation tactics often backfire on women (and what to do instead)

• What to do in the moments when you feel pressured to say yes

For more information, visit The Mental Offload.