The Mental Offload Podcast

Mistakes. The word itself makes a high-achiever cringe.

Sure, we all know that logically, "mistakes happen to the best of us."

But when you're the one making the mistake?

It feels like the worst.

And now, you've got two problems: the original mistake, and being knocked off your game.

The original problem is now compounded. You might spend weeks or even months in your own head, worrying about the screw-up. Ruminating on who's judging you and how it might come back to bite you.

Your inner critic will sap your confidence more than any mistake.

What differentiates the highest performers is not a lack of errors. It's how fast they get back on their game after a mistake.

This is a skill you can learn.

Whether it's a minor "oops" moment or a major fumble, we'll dive into how to gracefully recover from a mistake at work.

So you can lead with the relaxed confidence you deserve.

What You'll Learn:

• Why cultivating an anti-fragile approach is useful

• A framework to help you step out of self-criticism, and into useful action

• 2 steps to recover from big and small mistakes at work

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.

Are you drowning in email?

Before you've even gotten dressed in the morning, your mind is already on the 117 emails that are sitting in your inbox. Waiting on a response.

Email is usually one of the first things you look at in the morning, and one of the last things you look at at night.

It seems impossible to get (and stay) on top of it.

Email and collaboration tools have transformed the way we work.

Sometimes, it's for the better: hybrid, asynchronous work on dispersed teams wouldn't be possible without it.

But much of the time, it's the struggle of the modern sisyphus: spending days pushing email out of your inbox…only to wake up and have to do it over, and over again.

Not only that, but it ends up crowding out the time we need to move forward your actual strategic priorities.

Taking control over how you manage your inbox is one of the best things you can do to create more sustainable and successful work habits.

This week, we'll explore how to make it happen.

What You'll Learn:

• 3 principles for successfully managing email

• Why the "vigilant and diligent" mindset keeps you stressed, anxious and spread too thin

• Actionable tips for playing email offense vs. defense, and balancing email and strategic priorities

• What it takes to win the game of email "hot potato"

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.

Mother's Day.

It's billed as the ultimate celebration of the work of mothers.

And in a society that often gives so little acknowledgement, this one day takes on big importance: a recognition of how much you've given to others throughout the rest of the year.

We want the day to be perfect.

But so often, it's a major letdown. A source of strife, even.

No, the Mother's Day hangover isn't what you get from too many mimosas at brunch (okay, well, that's one kind of hangover).

We're talking about the emotional hangover.

The nagging feelings of sadness, resentment, or downright anger that can follow you around after a disappointing Mother's Day.

A big part of it? That mothers are offered so little in return for a year of hard work at home.

A nice brunch and a homemade thank you card are so small in comparison to all you do. So, when you don't even get that, how are you supposed to react?!

Whether your Mother's Day was a day to remember for all the right reasons or all the wrong ones, tune in for an exploration of what mothers truly deserve, and how we can get more of it.

What You'll Learn:

• The no-win societal expectations that leave too many mothers with a Mother's Day hangover

• How your "emotional hangover" provides important data, and what to do with it

• Why you should consider planning your own Mother's Day (even if your partner gets it 99% right)

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.

Women are more aware of the mental load of the household than at any time in the past.

The dynamics of domestic labor and parenting have historically been biased. The expectation: women would and should do the work of running the home and raising children.

Even for women who work outside the home, the mental load often ends up squarely on their shoulders.

• Women put in 10 more hours of household labor than men each week (US data)

And this impacts their careers.

• 57% of women feel that their careers are limited by their caregiving responsibilities at home (US data)

So many women want to rebalance the load at home.

But the advice that permeates so much of the social media sphere is blunt: there are "good guys" (who will willingly step up to the plate at home, if asked) and "garbage guys". And if you've got one of the latter, you're told your only option is to "throw the whole man away."

As much as that phrase makes me chuckle, this way of thinking keeps a lot of women right where they started: shouldering an outsize burden at home.

It's time to unpack our thinking about the mental load at home, and how we can drive more alignment with our partners.

What You'll Learn:

• Why the unequal division of labor at home is also an obstacle to women's career ambitions

• The "good guy" versus "garbage guy" binary thinking that permeates social media, and why more nuance is useful

• 4 partner stances to the mental load, and which ones are "good" or "garbage"

• The two underrated skills that drive more alignment on the mental load at home

"Put on your own oxygen mask first," they say.

But that's easier said than done, right?!

How much time do you get each day completely for yourself?

Add it up: time with no work concerns to attend to, no little humans to take care of. Purely to do as you want…

That's probably some quick math.

For most women, the number is small. And women get less than men (thanks, patriarchy!).

And for that little bit that we do take, we hear harmful messages that it's selfish. Or optional.

So, you end up putting yourself last.

Far from being frivolous or selfish, "me time" is essential time that we need to recharge. In a world of depleting demands on your time and attention, "me time" is a refueling stop.

What would happen if you treated time for yourself as a necessary component of each week? Critical to your ability to lead at work, and at home?

In this week's episode of the Mental Offload Podcast, we blow the lid off the idea that "me time" is selfish. And we dive into ways to take time for yourself in a society that makes it easy to keep putting yourself last.

Time for yourself isn't selfish. It's a strategic necessity in leadership (and life).

What You'll Learn:

• How "me time" is protective against burnout, and support mental and emotional well-being

• How much "me time" do you really need? We'll look at the evidence.

• The REAL costs of pouring from an empty cup, at work and at home

• How to get over internalized guilt and cultural messages that discourage "me time"

• A tactical plan to make more time for yourself happen

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.

Inbox zero is such a seductive proposition.

Inbox zero was popularized by productivity gurus as an efficient approach to email. The idea is that you want to maintain your inbox with zero - or as close to zero - messages as possible.

For most people, this becomes a daily metric to track their own productivity.

And, I'd argue it's a vanity metric.

It's seductive because it makes you think you're being productive, efficient, and valuable at work. But it's just a veneer of productivity.

Inbox zero comes with real costs. Namely, it takes away your focus from the work that really matters. (Which, in most jobs, is not responding to email.)

This week, we explore the lingering "productivity myth" of inbox zero, and better ways of managing your inbox.

What You'll Learn:

• Why inbox zero seems so efficient

• The real costs (and opportunity costs) of trying to maintain inbox zero

• Take a page from domestic management - would you ever try to maintain laundry hamper zero?

• Better ways to manage your inbox

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.

Presentation anxiety. It's incredibly common, even amongst leaders.

There's that oft-quoted statistic that suggests that most people's biggest fear is public speaking.

And what are presentations, if not public speaking? Even when the scale is small (like leading a team meeting), the stakes rarely feel small.

As a leader, you might need to give dozens of presentations a year. In some roles, you might give dozens a week.

What's more, your presentation skills are part of your executive presence. You want to appear confident, calm, unflustered.

But how do you do that with your knees shaking?

In this episode, we'll cover how you can conquer presentation anxiety, to show up with more confidence and more presence every time.

What You'll Learn:

• Why the typical advice, like "fake it til you make it" is unhelpful (or downright terrible) for presentation anxiety

• The ABCs of anxiety - what's really going on when you're on stage?

• How to create an "anxiety management protocol" to help you perform at your best

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

We live in a world of plenty…and it's overwhelming.

There are so many options, and so much pressure to make the right choices.

And the sheer number of decisions that we need to make in a given week is mind-boggling.

Think about the time you spend in an average week researching, analyzing, and getting agreement on options.

It's exhausting.

But there is a way to win back some bandwidth and energy, too.

It's the practice of decision constraint.

And it's incredibly effective for anyone feeling bogged down by the weight of the mental load at home (or stuck in analysis paralysis at work).

Try it this week for better balance and more bandwidth.

What You'll Learn:

• Why having more options doesn't necessarily make us happier or better off

• What you need to know about how the brain operates, so you can reduce the cognitive load

• What kinds of decisions benefit from constraint

• How to implement decision constraint for better balance

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.

Is your work week best described as a daily grind?

Like, the kind of work where you are constantly working at max capacity, only to find yourself…slowly…grinding…down.

Most corporate jobs operate with a go-go-go mentality that keeps everyone in a permanent state of exhaustion.

This is disastrous for your stamina.

And not just at work. The "hangover" of working like this usually carries straight into life at home.

Making you feel "wound up" and stressed, and less able to be present and relaxed.

You might be tempted to think this is just a side effect of a demanding job. But it doesn't always have to be.

In this episode, we'll discuss a technique for rebalancing your calendar, that can increase your stamina.

If you want more control over your calendar at work, and fewer evenings feeling drained, listen and apply this week's episode.

What You'll Learn:

• How can "sprinting" not be draining?

• The one trap you must avoid in setting up your work schedule (unless you like feeling fried)

• Are you people-pleasing with your time?

• Applying this to operational vs. strategic roles

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.

Albert Einstein allegedly said, "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used to create them." Wise words, whether they come from Einstein or not.

But how do you actually develop higher-level thinking skills?

One technique I use is Superthinking.

It puts the amazing power of your human brain as a problem-solving machine onto your biggest challenges, and guides your brain to solve them strategically.

Super thinking is a meta-skill. It asks you to observe and direct your own thinking at the same time.

But we're not taught this powerful skill. And that leaves us at the whims of our brain's default mode. Which is riddled with biases and glitches.

Your brain is a bit like ChatGPT. Its output is only as good as the prompts you give it.

In this episode, you'll learn how to "prompt" your brain more effectively. For better, more creative, more strategic problem solving. At home, and at work.

What You'll Learn:

• The value of Superthinking, and why it's worth learning this meta-skill

• Why your brain's "default mode" results in biased thinking – and how to correct for it

• How to conduct a Superthinking session

• 2 benefits of doing regular Superthinking in your life and work

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.