The Mental Offload Podcast

Women tend to disproportionately bear the weight of the mental load.

That translates into a "second shift" at home: more hours spent on parenting, housework, emotional caretaking, and more.

When it comes to managing that mental load, so often the advice to women is one of two things:

Delegate it. Or lower your standards.

And while there's nothing wrong with either of those approaches, that's not the only way to "offload" tasks.

I get on my soapbox a little bit this week, to talk about how the mental load ends up pigeon-holing women, the sexist taxes that (too often) go unchallenged, and why we deserve better.

It's time to talk about what it really means to offload the mental load, and how we start to make that happen.

What You'll Learn:

• Why going part-time isn't your only option for being a "good mom" in the paid workforce

• The unchallenged assumptions that we need to rethink around the mental load of parenting.

• The "isn't that cute" version of women's empowerment

• The 3 sexist taxes that fall on you if you're socialized as a woman

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.

"It's lonely at the top", so the saying goes.

Which makes it all the more surprising that leaders rarely discuss the feelings of loneliness that can come as you rise.

It's paradoxical. You're surrounded by colleagues. You lead a team who look up to you and follow you. And at the same time, it can feel distinctly lonely to be the person standing out in front, making the big decisions.

Leadership loneliness isn't only a problem at the top rungs of business. It can strike any time you're elevated from being "one of the pack" to being in a position of authority.

It can feel like the spotlight is directly on you.

Doubly so if you're a "pioneer" in your field – the first or only person of your gender, race, or other marginalized identity.

And there aren't many people to whom you can turn. Your former peers? They can't relate. Your current leaders? They might conclude you aren't up to the job.

There's so much stigma that many leaders end up trying to put on a courageous front.

But they're secretly struggling with feeling alone, exposed, and the weight of having authority.

In this episode, we pull back the curtain on leadership loneliness, and strategies you can employ to navigate this often overlooked aspect of leadership.

What You'll Learn:

• Causes of leadership loneliness, and the inappropriate workplace coping strategy that some people use

• How leadership loneliness impacts your ability to problem-solve, and can end up driving great leaders out of jobs they once aspired to

• Can you show vulnerability without being fully transparent?

• 4 strategies you can use to mitigate leadership loneliness, so you can feel confident and supported

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.

Imagine if you could sit down with your future self—the version of you who has achieved your wildest dreams, overcome your biggest challenges, and is living your best life. What would that conversation be like? How would it transform the decisions you make today?

Last month, we focused on the important relationships you have at home and at work.

But there's one relationship we haven't talked about. And it's your most important relationship:

Your relationship with your Future Self.

This relationship drives major decisions about your career, your family, and how you show up in the arena.

So, it makes sense to treat this relationship seriously.

In this episode, we'll explore strategies to connecting to the person you're destined to become, and how doing so can transform how you lead, and how you live.

What You'll Learn:

• Why the relationship between your Past, Present and Future Self matters for success

• How your relationship with your future self can protect you from guilt and people-pleasing

• 4 Questions to ask yourself that will deepen your relationship with your future self

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.

Executive Presence. Most leaders know it's a powerful ingredient for success. It's that bit of leadership sorcery that allows some to command a room, influence key decisions, and inspire confidence.

You might be able to get ahead without it, but I don't recommend trying!

But can you actually develop executive presence?

I've heard leaders describe it as, "you just know it when you see it."

That may be true. But it's spectacularly unhelpful.

Drawing on the latest research on Executive Presence, we'll decode the formula for this important leadership skill. And discuss how you can leverage it to rise at work.

What You'll Learn:

• Decoding Executive Presence: the 3 elements that matter most

• Bias and executive presence – is it a catch-22, or can it be neutralized?

• Why "fake it til you make it" isn't the best strategy

• How to develop your personal flavor of executive presence with your own, impactful "spice blend"

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.

Are you ready to rise in your organization?

Maybe you're not sure. It's a topic that can create a lot of ambivalence when you have kids.

"I'd love to do more, but I can't work any harder…and I'm already so drained." This is a phrase I hear often.

The problem is that there are two thought errors that underpin this phrase.

First, you might think that rising means doing more. More hours. More deliverables. More meetings.

Second, too often it means that you're overinvesting in developing skills that will cause career stagnation (and underinvesting in the skills that will drive growth).

But when you put the 3 keys in this episode together, you open the door to better performance, better balance, and more leverage at work.

What You'll Learn:

• Why "rising" doesn't always mean a promotion – the different flavors of rising, and their benefits

• The 3 elements you need to rise in an organization

• Why you shouldn't rely on strong performance alone

• How "rising" can create better work-life alignment and increased energy

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.

Valentine's Day is in the air. And whether you consider yourself a romantic or not, let's do a quick status check on your relationship with your partner.

Does your relationship with your partner feel fantastic? Or is it weighed down by a growing list of resentments? Maybe you'd consider your relationship more of an afterthought…something that gets your time and attention once in a blue moon?

It's no secret that kids bring on changes in relationships.

Sometimes, those changes are an evolution, a deepening of an important bond with your partner in childrearing.

But too often, the all-consuming nature of modern parenting leaves this important relationship starved for attention. It starts to languish.

So this week, I'm going to share with you how a seemingly unromantic practice borrowed from the corporate sphere – the Annual Review – can strengthen your relationship and diffuse resentment.

If you're looking to keep your relationship on track (or get it back on track), despite kids and demanding jobs, this episode is a must-listen.

What You'll Learn:

• Why many couples avoid "relationship feedback", and why that's a "false good idea"

• The 3 questions to ask yourself before Valentine's Day

• How to conduct an Annual Relationship Review with your partner

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.

Many high achieving women work by the old adage "just keep your head down and do good work, and you'll be recognized."

Sometimes the advice comes directly from a mentor or a parent.

For others, it's an implicit to the way a meritocracy is supposed to work.

The good girls who do stellar work without making too much of a stink are supposed to get rewarded.

Right?!

But here's the unvarnished truth: if you're doing great work, but no one knows about it…you're not going to get the recognition you deserve.

That's why it's not optional to be your own PR person at work.

It doesn't have to be hard. In this episode, we'll explore how you can create a routine that helps get visibility for your work.

So you can get credit for all that you contribute.

What You'll Learn:

• How your "PR" shapes your personal brand and visibility at work

• Internal PR vs. External PR, and the benefits of each

• How to create an effective PR routine in just 1-2 hours per month

• 4 ways to get started, without it feeling awkward and uncomfortable

For more information, visit The Mental Offload.

More and more employers are offering coaching as a perk at work. But it wasn't always this way.

20 years ago, executive leadership coaching was a perk limited to a very small subset of employees: people at the very top, or those leaders who were at risk of failing.

And in many organizations, coaching retained that reputation: either unavailable to all but the highest rungs, or remedial instruction that you should be embarrassed about needing.

But that's changing.

Coaching is seen as a sought-after perk by employees.

Wise employers are listening. And responding.

They've seen the impact of coaching on individual employees. They recognize that coaching is a perk that can support, grow, and retain talent.

That means that many companies are more willing to help you if you want to work with a coach.

In this episode, we'll explore how the attitudes around leadership and executive coaching have shifted, and ways you can approach your company around getting coaching even if it's not an advertised perk.

What You'll Learn:

• How the employer mindset around coaching has shifted

• Why these shifting attitudes are so beneficial for working mothers, women of color, and marginalized groups

• How to ask for support from your company, and influence your company if they're hesitant to financially support investments in coaching

For more information, visit The Mental Offload.

Many companies require development planning. But few teach you how to it.

In many firms, development is a "tick the box exercise": you build out a plan, file it away, and pull it out at the next review cycle.

Despite your best intentions, development may be an afterthought for you and your team.

And yet, you probably realize that continued growth = continued success.

So, how do you make sure that your development plan gets the traction it deserves?

In this episode, you'll learn how to avoid the common development planning pitfalls. And create an actionable, impactful growth plan.

So that you can be the architect of your own growth.

What You'll Learn:

• 4 development planning approaches (and how to know which one is right for you)

• The key thing to do to keep your development plan from getting too watered down

• Go beyond SMART goals to make your development highly actionable

• A valuable tip to 2x the pace of your development

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.

It's well-known research: merely writing down your goals makes it more likely you'll achieve them.

And yet, writing down a goal is usually not enough to get us to the finish line.

What gives?!

Yes, writing down a goal is useful. And it's definitely better than doing nothing. But often, this makes your goal little more than a wish. A nice intention. But not something you actually follow through on.

Vision is great. But it's the execution that really counts.

Achieving a goal requires consistent action.

And the best way to make your actions consistent? Systems. A good system makes it easy for you to do what needs to be done to achieve a goal.

It doesn't matter whether your goal is to consistently walk 10 thousand steps per day, or to stop working evenings, or to maintain a regular date night.

Systems are your secret weapon for goal success.

What You'll Learn:

• The 3 levels of goal setting

• The most important question you can ask to help you build better systems for goal achievement

• Why a good system helps you operate in "autopilot" mode, and why that's a good thing

To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.