“The hardest part is getting started and keeping it small. One small thing compounded every day. “
In this episode, Nick speaks with Sean Robinson, who didn’t really think too much about drinking. His parents were in their 20s when they had Sean, so he grew up with drinking, as his parents would socially drink and host parties. It was always normal, so as he got older, he was drinking, too. Like most of us in our 20s, Sean, too, was having the best time of his life, drinking, hanging out with friends, having fun, & just feeling his best. But getting older, the scene and the feelings start to change. Sean craved to feel like he did in his 20s, and he kept thinking drinking would make him feel good again. He would pre-drink, and drink everything and then some when camping, trying to chase the 20-year-old version of himself. Sean came to realize that he was never going to catch that version of himself and some changes need to be made. Time to give up drinking.
Sean is a 38-year-old husband and father of 3 children under 9. He works in the construction industry and has been a volunteer firefighter for many years. Having spent the majority of his life in 2 of the most masculine sectors, it gave him the impression that he had to live a typical lifestyle and have a typical mentality about it.
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Click Here To View The Episode Transcript
00:00:08:08 – 00:00:27:17
Hello and welcome to The Mindset and Self-mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. And on this show, my guests and I unpack the stories that shape us, the lives that we lead on our path to self-mastery. So let’s not wait any longer. Let the games begin.
00:00:32:02 – 00:00:33:23
Hey, Shawn. Welcome to the show, man. How you doing?
00:00:34:10 – 00:00:40:06
Good. Thanks for having me. I appreciate you reaching out and having a conversation.
00:00:40:07 – 00:00:59:23
Yeah, absolutely. Well, when we first connected, it was interesting to see the book that you have and what you’ve gotten into. And right off the bat, this is an episode about drinking, but not specifically like drunk stories. Like, I find that funny that show drunk stories were like, go through history. Drunk history. That’s the ticket.
00:01:00:00 – 00:01:00:15
00:01:00:19 – 00:01:19:17
But this is more or less about the habitual side of drinking. Like, I know we’re going to get into all this, but I just want to lay that out up front for the audience. This is a drinking episode. If you’re currently drinking, listen, if you don’t drink, listen. If you know of anybody that’s ever drank alcohol, listen, because we’re going to get into the depths of it.
00:01:20:02 – 00:01:27:17
So, Sean, why don’t you give us a little bit of context us what you do for a living and what’s one thing that most people don’t know about you? It’s maybe a little odd or bizarre.
00:01:29:09 – 00:02:00:01
All right. Yeah, I’m an electrician by trade. I’ve really no in project management, but I come up through through the field long apprenticeship work in construction for about 15 years before that, I worked with my my father in his auto shop. He’s a mechanic. And, you know, a lot of a lot of time spent in that environment. And I guess one thing I don’t know if I can follow up better than, you know, the guy, the Matt on your show a couple weeks ago digging for gold.
00:02:00:02 – 00:02:15:18
But my Spotify playlist can very quickly go from Metallica and Pearl Jam to Taylor Swift and Meghan Trainor in a hurry. So now a lot of people know that. But, you know, it is what it is. I’m proud of.
00:02:15:18 – 00:02:34:07
It. Yeah, as you should be, man. That is your playlist. And believe me, there are worse things you could have said than those two. And sure, they’re better and whatever. But you got me with the Metallica and the Pearl Jam, so we’re going there. So let’s let’s tackle the drinking thing, like right off the bat as an electric.
00:02:34:07 – 00:02:53:01
And there’s somebody who’s a contractor just does work with your hands. I get that. People can drink a lot. I grew up in an area that was very blue collar. So same thing where like people went, they did trades, they were contractors who worked on houses or did whatever. And it was just so easy to, at the end of the day, go up, fuck this.
00:02:53:01 – 00:03:10:14
I want to go get a beer or nine and not think about the bullshit from the day. And now being in a situation where I’ve gone through corporate America as a business owner and all, and primarily working from home, I found it’s easy for myself to just go, Huh? Well, I’ve had a great day. Let me go get a drink or fuck.
00:03:10:14 – 00:03:27:18
I’ve had a shit. They let me go get a drink or any other reason because you’re bored. But let’s start from the beginning with you. Like when you reflect back just on drinking in general and just habitual drinking, where did that start and what does that look like for you in the beginning?
00:03:29:11 – 00:03:50:11
So I think it started more with the example set for me when I was a child. I had a decent upbringing, my parents were still together, but they had their younger parents. I’m 38 and they’re turning 60 this year. So they were 22. They had, you know, young lifestyle and they were just doing, you know, they were married, doing their thing.
00:03:50:11 – 00:04:12:12
So they had a lot of friends, a lot of social. So I grew up, I’m the oldest of three. My two younger brothers, we you know, we had seen a lot of people coming over traffic in and out, just drinking, partying, listening to music. So I had a lot of influence early on with, you know, that environment. So there was always a stock of alcohol around.
00:04:12:12 – 00:04:29:23
We there was a bar cabinet that’s, you know, where things go. But we were also taught quite early how to mix a good drink. So, you know, Ryan Rye whiskey and coke or ginger ale or whatever the you know, as my parents drinking evolved, you know, he put a little bit of water in first to splash a pop.
00:04:30:01 – 00:04:49:20
We learned these things early on. So it kind of set me up for, you know, that in my life I’m thinking once I get to a certain age or, you know, in Ontario it’s 19 years old, it was probably 17, 16 before when I got into it, you know, I had this laid out for me early on this this was how I was supposed to do this.
00:04:49:20 – 00:05:15:16
It was, you know, in abundance. It was socially, it was while you’re camping. So that influence kind of led me early on into what I thought was how I was supposed to carry. And then, you know, college years and I evolved people. I was around social acceptance and just expectation kind of led me from that early exposure to, you know, my own habits, my own routines with how with I carried.
00:05:15:16 – 00:05:26:16
Right. You said, you know, after work going out with the guys at a wedding, there was just this evolution of how I was supposed to be in a certain moment around, you know, having those drinks.
00:05:27:23 – 00:05:55:22
Now, it’s super interesting when you think of the environment that you’re raised in and how it can affect you no matter what. But it doesn’t have to dictate what you do. Now, it sounds like there were some tendencies that were there for you to want to fall in line with some of that stuff, not just like fall in and just drink your face off, but following the path of all of that and sometimes there’s a balance between, you know, like mental health issues and just putting something away.
00:05:56:02 – 00:06:11:18
Like I thought oftentimes that typically when people go to bars, they just want to hang out and enjoy and not think of the things from the day where they type. If I’m at a bar, I’m going to ask about your life and like what fucked up shit has happened and what trauma have you been through? And they’re like, What the fuck is wrong with you?
00:06:11:18 – 00:06:32:03
Why do you keep asking me this? But did you feel like there were things that you were just because how you were raised that was just what you were going to end up becoming was just that drinking and is that different for you social drinking than it is the habitual and almost binge drinking?
00:06:32:03 – 00:06:49:08
The way the the evolution for me when I was was, you know, there was this happy place that I call it for me in like you know, the 20 year old range where, you know, everyone around me, we knew everyone at the bar. All my friends were there. You never knew you when just, you know, four or five times a week.
00:06:49:19 – 00:07:13:08
It was this this routine at that time of, you know, happy place. And it was almost like when that ended. And I became the person that was, you know, with the group in the center of the bar to that person standing around the outside, stay with my one hand in your pocket, the other hand hold a drink, you know, with the other people of that older age, you know, he starts to feel a little bit different about it.
00:07:13:08 – 00:07:35:05
And as that evolved, it’s like I kept chasing how I felt at 20 years old, you know, being in the core of that environment and feeling like my greatest. So, you know, chase chasing that it was like when I was drinking for, you know, purpose, like I was at a function and it was, you know, I had a ride or plans to stay over or whatever it was.
00:07:35:05 – 00:07:59:11
Like I had to get as much into me as I could to get back to that bus or back to that city that I remembered from that, you know, those years ago, like this was my greatest and most fun time doing this. And the only way to do this was, you know, maybe not the drink that I did in college, but there was definitely that, you know, abundance and quick drinking to kind of get to a point.
00:07:59:11 – 00:08:19:06
And I didn’t realize it, but I was never going to find it, right. I was never going to get back to that point. It was like, you know, even though every time I, you know, camping, I’d bring a lot more than I should and try to do what I could to get through everything that I brought. And then some, you know, it wasn’t going to find that person I felt like I was chasing.
00:08:19:15 – 00:08:42:17
Yeah. Whatever. What it simple thing like when you think of chasing that high, you know you keep chasing that high. And to have that moment when you’re in your young twenties to go, I remember that being the awesome time that we had. You know, you don’t think about the morning after where you maybe wake up and you’re like, Who’s around me and how much to be drank and what’s going on?
00:08:42:23 – 00:09:04:10
And especially as you get older, like in your thirties, especially as you’re drinking, you wake up the next morning, you’re like, Oh my God, I need like, I don’t know, gallons upon gallons of water. They need probably 15 hours more sleep and like your body just can’t handle it. But when your mind is just trying to go after that same high, at what point was it that you went, Fuck, that’s it.
00:09:04:10 – 00:09:09:13
I keep fucking going after this high and you step back from it.
00:09:09:13 – 00:09:52:10
It was it was, you know, a cumulative I had, you know, other things that were starting to pile up. I was I was pushing £320 and, you know, feeling very depressed and, you know, never having those extra, you know, thoughts. But like very toxic mental health. I was feeling really shitty. And it got to a point where I didn’t realize that, that the drinking and what I was doing and overeating and all these things, you know, there was parts of it that that were compounding on the next and, you know, to to get to that point and use like in a starting point of they were dry January using that as a you know I’m
00:09:52:10 – 00:10:16:05
going to I’m going to do try this so you know when I wrote this this book this didn’t start as as a book. I was going to, you know, put out there. So everybody can can read my my vulnerabilities. And what I went through this was this was mind this was a journal that I kept. And as I got that £320, you know, at the beginning, a covered 2020 where I was feeling the worst, I started writing these things down.
00:10:16:05 – 00:10:33:03
I like, I, I beat myself up in this journal because I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know, you know, I knew what I had to do, but I couldn’t figure out how to do it. I did. Couldn’t find that motivator or that thing to push me to, to learn what I had to do to get away from it.
00:10:33:03 – 00:10:55:14
So. So for me, drinking was just that first thing that I felt led to these other things that I could I could stop for a while. So this journal, when I got to dry January, January one, I did what I could to put it off, you know, January 1st, 2021 was Saturday or something. So I wasn’t going to start on a Saturday.
00:10:55:14 – 00:11:12:01
That’s like I got to, you know, I’m going to get to the fourth. So January 4th finally was like, okay, here I am. I got through this week and holidays are over. That’s my start. So that night I drank beer, like last beer. I’m like, I’m going to try this for a while. I crushed the can. I wrote the date on it.
00:11:12:11 – 00:11:31:16
I’ve got this in my my garage and read by my calendar where I, you know, keep my accountability tract every day, you know, circle at four different things. This kind of can as read beside it with the date on it saying, you know, this is this was the last one in the moment. I didn’t know that was going to mean this much to me now, now that it’s been just over two years.
00:11:31:16 – 00:11:59:19
But then, you know, I’m going to try this. So, you know, using this journal, kind of tracking how shitty I felt and how I was not very nice, it kind of led in to different things. I tried, right? I didn’t do the research on how effective journaling can be, and I came from construction like, fuck, I was going to talk to anybody about writing a journal the second somebody at work or in the fire hall.
00:11:59:19 – 00:12:22:23
I went to volunteer fire department as soon as anybody would find out, you know, I they would start to haze and question sexuality. Like I’d get all the shit and abuse from everybody in both of those two groups. So I wasn’t telling anybody that I was working on myself. I started listening to podcasts, I was journaling. Like, none of that came out, which is awful, but it’s the way it is.
00:12:23:22 – 00:12:39:12
So once, once I started setting up some rules for myself in the early on, you know, I didn’t want to be, you know, out of the running. I didn’t want people to say I can’t write him because he’s just going to stand in the corner and drink his bottle from his water and judge everybody for what they’re doing.
00:12:39:17 – 00:13:01:15
You know, we can’t have that guy because he’s not fun. So, you know, early on without even knowing it, I put these rules in my journal that I was going to, you know, let myself still have fun. And I’m not going to sit in the corner and judge everybody. I’m going to, you know, try to be president. I’m going to you know, I didn’t want to be the designated driver, you know, all of a sudden, because I’m not drinking.
00:13:01:15 – 00:13:32:11
I’m the guy driving everybody around. I establish straight away like, no, I’m going to pay my share of the cab or I’m going to, you know, I’m still going to buy my rounds. Like, I don’t want to feel that I’m not involved, but I just can’t drink anymore. Like, I needed to take that January off. So as I started to learn more about, you know, habits and reading atomic habits and different, different podcasts and listening to people, like even listening to podcasts, it was not in the group I was in.
00:13:32:11 – 00:13:47:19
Like, we weren’t coming in to work. And in the lunch train they were talking about, you know, the mindset self-mastery show, podcast, and like all these cool things I learned and these great guests. It was, you know, you’re not talking about that. You’re talking about how drunk you got the night before. How do you feel and what you’re doing tonight?
00:13:47:23 – 00:14:08:12
And so, you know, as I started to come out of that place, I was learning more about habits. And 30 days wasn’t enough. I didn’t feel 30 days for me was enough. I’ve learned now you know more about it that it takes, you know, cycles of 21 days to break these habits. But in that moment, I’m going to do dry February.
00:14:08:12 – 00:14:27:13
So February became 100 days. 100 days is the new thing. Yeah, that’ll help me. So once I got to 100 days, it was like, I don’t really feel like going back. I don’t really feel like having it again yet. And I don’t want to lose the progress I’ve made in 100 days. Not drinking. What if I can do this for the whole year?
00:14:28:04 – 00:14:45:06
So then it kind of got to a point. A challenge myself this is going to happen for this year and then I’m going to see how I feel about it. And people didn’t know what to do with that. Everyone around me circles, you know, second week into January. What do you mean, you’re not drinking? It’s. You’re fine now.
00:14:45:19 – 00:15:03:04
And they’d already given up on dry January. Well, no, I don’t want to do that. That’s not what I’m doing here. It’s it’s I’m committing to the 30 days and committing to the 100. I’m not committing to the year. So it was it was hard for people around me to understand that I just wasn’t going to be that way anymore.
00:15:03:11 – 00:15:35:05
It’s it’s powerful for you to go through that and bring that up and talk about it. Set aside that you wrote a book and put the book out about it, because that’s huge, man. But for the people that are listening to this, that have thought, you know, I probably drank a little too much or Yeah, my wife’s told me you’re drinking a little bit more, or I feel like shit when I wake up, but they’re probably in a similar spot or some sort of spot where there’s that hesitance in that fear, you know, of like, Oh, well, I don’t know how to talk to these people about this or I don’t want to be the
00:15:35:05 – 00:15:48:21
weird dude standing in the corner that they think is judging. What advice do you give them now that you’ve gone through a couple of years of that? That’s actual loving advice, but still direct enough, you know.
00:15:48:21 – 00:16:10:03
The biggest thing that I was caught up in and, you know, like any of these things you read and these things you listen to, you have to take what what you can piece together. You know, what what is going to work for your current situation. So what what I found was that people around me didn’t give a shit as much as I thought they did about what was in my cup.
00:16:10:23 – 00:16:28:23
They didn’t, you know, you buy around and they’re like, Oh, what do you mean you’re not drinking? But then, you know, after that initial shock, call it of of like you’re just not going to be this way anymore. People weren’t as worried about what I was drinking as I thought they were. I was more worried about it than they were.
00:16:28:23 – 00:16:45:14
And I was always because I you know, I was brought up socially with drinking. I didn’t get into it like I said, like we were never allowed when I was a kid. It wasn’t that there was, you know, that kind of, you know, abuse growing up, but like it was always around. So, you know, I grew up with this is acceptable.
00:16:45:14 – 00:17:07:03
This is this is cool. This is expected. So I always made sure to by my round, I wasn’t, you know, far off from from being my turn. And, you know, it was important to play the game properly because that was the way I was taught. So to not drink anymore, I had to relearn all those things like I still wanted to, to contribute to the evening out.
00:17:07:06 – 00:17:27:04
In the beginning, you know, we were going to somebody’s house and it was it was, you know, I was going to take some shit and abuse. So I went and I bought a bottle of whiskey to bring with me. I wasn’t gonna drink it. I bought a few, you know, sparkling waters or whatever, just because I needed a mechanism there and I didn’t want to go to the 0% straight away.
00:17:27:04 – 00:17:49:04
I wanted to, you know, get rid of that feeling that I had to. But, you know, I showed up with a bottle of whiskey and the nobody was giving me any shit, you know? Here you go, boys. Let’s let’s, you know, hang out. But it was like, because I brought that I didn’t have to take the shit and abuse that that I, you know, might have if I just showed up with a couple of sparkling waters.
00:17:50:01 – 00:18:06:20
But the advice would be just, you know, I was more worried about it than they were. And I think that’s that’s probably true. Like you just you get into that habit, that routine of doing anything but drinking specifically, and you just feel more like they’re worried about it or feel like you have to do it.
00:18:07:08 – 00:18:38:04
Well, there’s a lot to this. I mean, if we start to break this down kind of a macro level, I think the fact that there’s that toxicity of anybody saying anything, it’s not coming from a healed place. It’s like if you talk to somebody, you’re like, Hey, I don’t drink anymore. And they drink if they’re healed and they’ve gone through their stuff and they’ve processed through it, I can almost guarantee they’re probably going to congratulate you instead of like fucking questioning you, of all things, because typically those people that do that, they’re hurting inside.
00:18:38:04 – 00:18:58:13
And they’re also concerned that you brought up some sort of pain that they don’t want to deal with, they don’t want to have to go through. So for you to look at that and start to make those changes, there’s some things that you’d even talked about with the journaling and things of that sort that again, were kind of outside what everybody was looking at and did not feel that pressure.
00:18:58:18 – 00:19:11:02
How did you manage your mindset to understand like, well, even if I just stand here with a red solo cup, it’s something. But to be able to get past it and go, I don’t give a fuck what other people are thinking. This is for my health.
00:19:11:02 – 00:19:30:03
It once people got over the fact that, you know, it’s now February and I’m still not doing it, I think they started to take it seriously. You know, the groups I was in, it’s like, okay, he means it. So. So it became as time went on after that, a little more, I won’t say acceptable, but a little more accepted, you know, I guess they were used to it.
00:19:30:03 – 00:19:59:16
It was it was not that strange anymore. So as as as I was doing that, it was I had to teach myself how to to to be in those environments and not have it because it was me that felt uncomfortable and needing to have something I didn’t want to. Like I said, I don’t want to go to the 0% in the near beers and the things because while it tastes the same, that’s an addiction part.
00:19:59:21 – 00:20:17:20
You say there definitely was some addiction for me there. It wasn’t just that, you know, as much as it was a habit that I have it in the moment and hold something while we’re talking and sip as we go and repeat. It was you know, there was there was there was an addiction there. I enjoyed it, but I enjoyed it because I was chasing that 20 year old version of myself.
00:20:17:20 – 00:20:34:16
So, you know, as as as I started to get away from having that beer in my hand, I still needed to kind of I was there was an awkwardness. So I got, you know, I bought one of those or had one of those Yeti cups, just a coffee mug. And that became kind of like my, my safety blanket.
00:20:34:22 – 00:20:53:05
It was like, I can hold this, I can pour anything I want into it. And it’s not like it’s a blatant 0% because I mean, you can tell, right? So what these cans and these these things look like. So it was like I wasn’t drinking that bottle of water. I wasn’t drinking that Gatorade. You know, if I put it in a red solo cup, it was it was on my terms.
00:20:53:05 – 00:21:08:02
It was I could drink whatever I wanted to this thing, everybody around me is still comfortable because it feels like I’m in the moment. But I’m also comfortable because, you know, I’m doing what I want to do, but I’m doing it while I look like I belong here.
00:21:08:02 – 00:21:31:06
Yeah, well, you’d also brought up addiction, and I think that’s a key thing to point out to the audience specifically. We’re not blasting alcohol. We’re not. It’s straight up. It’s an addiction. If you’re addicted to something, you have to do something to get out of the addiction. Like there are people that can drink and be fine. There are people that have drinks every so often.
00:21:31:11 – 00:21:51:03
And it’s, I think often about all things being in moderation and kind of finding that balance. But you got to be fucking aware enough to understand if you can’t find that balance, get the fuck out of there, stop. And if you have a hard time with it, do things that can help you with that. So why don’t you break down a little bit of what that looked like for you to actually start to walk through?
00:21:51:03 – 00:22:01:04
All right. I have a I I’ve realized I have an addiction. I’m going to do these things. But what does that look like to actually do that, to put this in place?
00:22:01:04 – 00:22:29:15
It was so once I had committed to it. And like I said, it wasn’t I didn’t realize how addicted or how used to drinking and the routine I had with drinking. I didn’t realize how hooked I was. I didn’t realize how it was affecting me. But once I started to avoid it and do something else right, have to do something else, get more clarity, different mindset.
00:22:29:15 – 00:22:51:21
I was remembering certain things, not nights, but, you know, tendencies like, you know, the pink Whitney came out. It was this big thing, Canada from Ontario. It took us a lot longer to get it here. But I was I was putting that stuff with other mixed drinks. Mike’s hard lemonades, and like there was mixing drinks with other drinks.
00:22:51:21 – 00:23:15:01
And, you know, COVID Ontario was a lot like we were shut down like everybody else. But it seemed, you know, it wasn’t news. It was even worse here. But, you know, I always get to the liquor store, you know, there’s nothing else to do. So it got even worse for me in that environment. And and once I once I established that and the I started to work through these things and came up with my rules for myself.
00:23:15:01 – 00:23:46:01
Right. This wasn’t about what my wife wanted. This wasn’t about what anybody else wanted. This was this was I needed to make some sort of change. So as I started to get away from it and I implemented these things that that ended up working for me, you know, I started to think and think about these other moments and put it together that that I had this toxic routine that I needed to do certain things, you know, order that pizza in the evening, chips all night, snacks all the time over drinking, drinking next day.
00:23:47:04 – 00:24:10:23
And that like leading to be £320. Like it just wasn’t it wasn’t a happy place at all for me. And and as I started to get away from it and listening to your podcast, learning more things, you know, I, I ended up changing this, this habit thing and that for drinking and I did that with everything. Like I wasn’t happy how often I was brushing my teeth, you know.
00:24:10:23 – 00:24:28:22
So I started on the calendar, circling it two times a day in the morning and at night, and all of a sudden I’m 100 days through that. And then, you know, I went to start drinking more water. So, you know, I’m going to drink this jug of water. I’m going to do this every day. So circle or X the calendar off every single day.
00:24:28:22 – 00:25:00:12
And now I’ve got 200 days of that. And once I got to 100 days, like I didn’t even need to put on the calendar anymore. This was just what I did. Now, and it didn’t feel like I was making this giant, drastic change. And then all the science is behind this. But like I was learning these things slowly as I go and just trying things out, doing what kind of worked and and then as I, you know, just listening to podcasts and audiobooks, I have a 45 minute commute to work and back.
00:25:00:12 – 00:25:18:11
So, you know, I got tired of the same radio all the time, like I needed to make more use of the time. So I was listening to all this stuff and you know, Mel Robbins, Tony Robbins and all these people and and I was was learning so much, but want to get into that. I first started finding stuff that I could relate to.
00:25:18:20 – 00:25:40:12
You know, I was looking up, you know, Kobe Bryant talking about, you know, his mindset. I’m listening to Terry Crews and Jim Carey and these people that, you know, whether I could relate to a character or just I knew who they were, I found myself drawn to those people first because somehow I could relate to who they were or who I thought they were.
00:25:40:23 – 00:26:04:14
And then they would they would talk about somebody else and somebody else. And all of a sudden, I’m in this wormhole of now I’m listening or reading, you know, the mindset book you’ve got in the background there and loving it and then posting about it on socials. To say Everyone that’s not doing this needs to read this book and everybody like listen to these podcasts and just feeling so motivated in every other area.
00:26:04:14 – 00:26:28:22
You know, I’ve lost £100 now and and I’ve I’ve managed to maintain these things. And just as simple as is writing it on my calendar to keep track, feeling that I need to maintain it every day right in small shit I brushing my teeth. That’s so small, but all of a sudden, like, I’m doing it as much as they say I should be doing it or drinking water as much as I should.
00:26:28:22 – 00:26:41:23
And this was more for me than alcohol. But that was a huge start to allow me to have the right mindset to try these other things and to stay consistent with these other things.
00:26:42:00 – 00:27:08:07
Yeah. And you pointed out about reading Atomic Habits, and that book has come up many, many times. In fact, it’s back there. It’s come up many times on on the episodes of the show. And I find it so interesting how one of the core concepts of the incremental growth and that almost downhill that you get as you start to do things and start to stack them upon each other, like for you to go, okay, well I’m going to stop drinking because that’s kind of the issue.
00:27:08:12 – 00:27:23:08
And then, you know, by the way, a breath of things at different times and, you know, I should probably brush my teeth twice a day and like getting into that were once you start to pack that on and pack that on and pack that on, doesn’t it make things easier as you start to move into other things because you already have that momentum?
00:27:24:15 – 00:27:48:20
Yeah, it definitely makes things easier. It, you know, once you see some success and something as small and I, you know, dental hygiene is what it is. I say that not because I was proud of, you know, maybe missing days. It was like that just is an example of how small these things can be. They give you so much momentum for the next thing and the next thing you know, all of a sudden you start to see a little bit of success.
00:27:48:20 – 00:28:07:00
You know, you lose £5 in a hurry when you, you know, you start eating a bit better and all of a sudden that’s £50 and you’re like six months into your life that you would have never done this if you didn’t, you know, have that momentum and have that mindset, you know, created from, you know, those small wins.
00:28:07:11 – 00:28:36:05
And I’ve since these last two years, you know, I drive the same to work all through, you know, whatever code it was that those two years, you know, I’ve listened to almost 100 audiobooks and hours and hours of podcasts and I’ve read like I construction. I was construction. I, you know, read. We don’t argue books. I’ve read over, you know, 50 books in two years and and all the stuff that I tried that I didn’t even realize was what they tell you you should be doing.
00:28:37:06 – 00:28:52:13
But I didn’t I didn’t want I didn’t think I wanted because I was the I was the tough guy, right? I was we weren’t talking about this yet because you’re going to have that tough guy mentality. You’re a construction guy and you’re whoever. And you know, you’ve got to be that tough man and you just got to suck it up and deal with it.
00:28:52:22 – 00:29:17:07
Well, you know, you learn these things and I in the beginning didn’t want doctor, so-and-so is smart and then and as intelligent and as correct as they were, that wasn’t I wasn’t to listen to that. So this book when when I got through about nine, ten months, it was October 2021. I was I was on the guys weekend and we went to Niagara Falls, guys from work.
00:29:17:07 – 00:29:36:23
It was real shitty summer, really busy. So four of us just decided to go and you know, they were all drinking and on the way Buddy was like, you know, all you got to drink with us. No, that’s not what I’m doing. Well, your wife’s not here. We are fine. But I’m not. I’m not doing this for her in the background, I was, you know, secondary.
00:29:36:23 – 00:29:56:16
Absolutely. Her and my wife, my kids like it became so that that relationship is so much better. But like in the moment, people couldn’t understand even at that point that it wasn’t that I was forced to do it this like I wanted this. But I’m like on that guy trip, one of my, you know, work friends was like, oh, man, I how is how is this going?
00:29:57:04 – 00:30:21:21
You know, he’s out. He’s drinking a double tequila slam or something or other. But then he’s like, How is this going? And it was genuine. I said, Fuck, I could write a book and I had ten months of journaling, but I was like, in that moment I was like, You know what? I could write a book. Like, I had all this content that I had absorbed since I started this, you know, just being open and not feeling so tough and asking, you know, questions and being transparent.
00:30:22:18 – 00:30:49:10
So I started to take this journal that that I wrote and putting it in a format that someone else could read where my mind was. I had in the beginning through to the end of that year. Right. Because this is 120 pages. I didn’t want to read books in the beginning. Not that I hadn’t, but, you know, on purpose, but like a 400, 500 page book, Atomic Habits is one of my top books.
00:30:49:10 – 00:31:20:07
But it’s it’s it’s intimidating if you’re not a reader. So for someone like my old self and my light says and I think he got it from someone else you’re most qualified to help your former self. This book is out there for my former self, and I know this isn’t unique. I know this is a struggle for a lot of people and I want to put this out there for people like me that aren’t going to find or, you know, have a hard time finding this version with all of the other content that’s out there, you know, find that person that’s in that moment that feels the most shitty.
00:31:20:07 – 00:31:39:09
That’s not going to journal because his buddies are. You call him gay, you know, put that out there so that, you know, that is is available for the person like me that was looking for that, you know, 120 pages. It’s small. I can get through it and then feel feel motivated in the end that, you know, this guy did this and, you know, at least want to give it a shot.
00:31:39:10 – 00:31:55:20
Yeah, and I think you nailed it, too. Like, it’s not for everybody, but it’s for the people that are, like, you know, those people that can read along with that and be part of that. Like, I know straight up, I am not for everybody. I’m sure there are people that may hear the show and go, Fuck that guy right off the bat.
00:31:55:20 – 00:32:20:15
Another people that I absolutely love. But that’s fine because that’s the purpose to it. And as long as you’re doing what you’re called to do and you feel that you’re speaking specifically, authentically to the you from before, that’s huge. And look, somebody told me a while ago, from a coach to a coach, they were like all you all you need to do is just be a couple steps ahead, because those couple steps could be the steps that change somebody’s life.
00:32:21:05 – 00:32:34:07
And it’s a matter of just them taking that first step to go, hey, I think I might have a problem. All right, maybe I can read something. Maybe I can explore something kind of like what you did. So the book’s on Amazon, right? And it’s everywhere else, correct?
00:32:34:11 – 00:33:11:00
It’s it’s on Amazon. So I self-published I hired someone to help me, you know, with all my editing and and marketing and stuff. So. So it’s definitely been through The Ringers, but it’s on Amazon, it’s on Barnes and Noble, the bookstores. I don’t believe in stocking it in store, but it’s definitely available online. And it’s yeah, it’s it’s definitely it’s out there and you know, coming from my background with construction and coming from those places and deciding to put this out there, you know, there was parts of that that were they were difficult for sure.
00:33:11:00 – 00:33:30:17
But, you know, thinking about the great, the greater purpose, the greater good and you know what? What someone can do. But, you know, all of that intimidation that was in my mind from from the sectors that I worked in and where my circles were coming from. You know, a lot of the reassurance like that came out after, you know, once was for me to put this out.
00:33:30:17 – 00:33:52:00
There was just it blew people away like you. You wrote a book and it’s about this. But like the people that have reached out that I’ve worked with before, you know, that I’ve had drinks with before that see this? And it said they keep this going, you know, stuff they’ve shared on social just to say like this is making a difference.
00:33:52:00 – 00:34:07:03
You don’t realize it, but people are seeing this and like just saying good job, you know, just have these like other tough guys that I had that I’ve worked with and have, like I said, drink with just to say these things. It’s like, okay, well, I, I know this is hitting the right place. I need to I need to keep going.
00:34:07:03 – 00:34:08:02
I need to keep doing this.
00:34:08:04 – 00:34:14:12
So when that happens, how does it how does it make you feel and what does it make you want to do it?
00:34:14:16 – 00:34:47:01
It makes me feel great, right? Like I have to, you know, this this was this was me. I wanted this. But by by going through this and and accepting that we’re all dealing with things, right? We’re all dealing with our own versions of this and dozens of other things. But, you know, to to put stuff like this out there to say, like, I come from these backgrounds, I’m this person and this is what I went through for the benefit of anybody else, that that feels the same and can say, like, you know what he’s talking about.
00:34:47:01 – 00:35:04:08
It means I can talk about it too. I can not drink and I can say that to my friends and I can say, you know what, guys? This is just what I feel like doing. And then they’ll come around or they won’t write like I was fortunate. My friends like in the background here, I had like one of my best friends.
00:35:04:08 – 00:35:24:13
He was in my wedding. He, he was getting married, I was in his wedding and we had all these functions, you know, the fittings and the bachelor parties and all these things. But his wedding was delayed from COVID from the time when I was drinking to now he was going to have it. But I’m not drinking now. And we used to drink all the time.
00:35:24:21 – 00:35:45:06
So in the background, while I’m doing all this stuff, my buddy is getting married and every function you better fucking drink at my wedding. Like, probably like we’re still great friends, but like, in the moment he didn’t understand as others didn’t like, how to deal with me in this new version of what I was trying to do. So you better fucking drink at my wedding.
00:35:45:06 – 00:36:01:18
Every time I heard that was like a dagger. And he didn’t even know that. But because I felt that I had to be the guy buying the shots and cheering at his wedding the way he did for me. Like there was a lot of pressure I put on myself there and I didn’t know how to tell him that I was committing to a year.
00:36:01:18 – 00:36:21:05
I didn’t know how to say to to my body that, you know, this isn’t about 100 days anymore. You know, this is this is this year. And I’m sorry, but your wedding is important to me, and I’m not going to miss it and I’m going to have a good time, but I’m just not going to drink. And up until the wedding, even the day of his wedding was September.
00:36:21:05 – 00:36:49:04
So this was nine months into this journey. He still thought I was going to come around, I was still going to have those shots and it just it didn’t it didn’t happen. And, you know, he’s great now and and he was great then, but just he understands now. But there was a lot of anxiety that I went through because I felt that I had to to live up to what him and other people wanted from me or that I that felt that I had to be.
00:36:49:04 – 00:37:18:11
And, you know, it was it was definitely one of the hardest things, just just staying firm with with what I wanted. But to you to your question, how does it make me feel when people give me that? It’s it’s reassurance that it was worth it, that, you know, putting the in and, you know, sticking to what I wanted by not drinking at the wedding and by, you know, every function that came up standing with this is this is what I’m going to do.
00:37:18:11 – 00:37:36:21
I’m getting to the year. And, you know, beyond I didn’t know when I put this out, but I didn’t want to go back and, you know, finding, you know, having to start having these people come back and say, this is this is great. You need to keep going. It’s like, you know what? That was hard, but this worth it.
00:37:37:06 – 00:37:57:06
You know, these this this person, even if you know, and it doesn’t even have to be that people don’t drink. I’m not asking anybody tonight. It could be anything, right? It could be brushing your teeth. It’s just the ways to correct the habits, the ways to to, you know, change your mindset, to not feel like you have to be the tough guy anymore.
00:37:57:06 – 00:38:13:15
And you can ask for help and you can use the resources. And, you know, those things are there for a reason. Don’t feel like you can’t do it because it’s going to be a lot harder once the bad habits compound enough that that it makes it more difficult to come back from.
00:38:13:15 – 00:38:33:17
The in you’d mentioned about the the pressure the external pressure specifically. But let’s spin that a little bit and look at the internal pressure because again, for the audience listening and thinking, I wolfram, if I were to stop drinking or if I were to stop doing the thing that I was doing, fuck. What if I fail? What if I drink again?
00:38:34:06 – 00:38:45:14
What? Why even started at that point and I’m I can guarantee you’ve had those thoughts because that’s what happens when you go through that stuff. So speak to that for us, please.
00:38:46:19 – 00:39:07:07
So when when I started this was this was a New Year’s resolution. And and as much as we’re in that moment right now, you know, there’s probably people that have said these resolutions that never got started. You know, there’s people that probably I’ve already given up no matter what it is right. I was this guy. I was that was me.
00:39:07:07 – 00:39:24:03
I would set these things up, whatever it be. And I would have this resolution. I’d give up and, you know, I’d go back to it. So, you know, if it was drinking, I decided not to drink and bodies were like, Let’s go drink. Oh, okay, fuck it. I’m done with that now. That was a fun two weeks. Let’s do this.
00:39:25:23 – 00:39:50:14
I wanted it bad enough that I didn’t let you know that that pressure. But the news resolution thing is just too big. It’s on a pedestal. It’s it’s celebrated by everyone on it, like everyone out there that that’s promoting this new me new year thing. And I want everyone that that does that to be successful. Right. If you set a goal, hit that goal, do what you can to get that goal.
00:39:50:14 – 00:40:09:06
But if you fall off even for, you know, one, one minute, you don’t have to wait until January did start it again. Right. But to set that goal, if that’s 20 days, if you made it 20 days and whatever it is you want to work on for me, like if it was drinking 20 days, well next time I’m going to try for 21.
00:40:09:14 – 00:40:34:07
Right. Don’t let the fact that that you had a slip, you know, get rid of the fact that you made that much progress. Right? Next time it could be you get to 21 and you do three more months. Right? So then your new goal for me, I was like I, I was, you know, there was different things I was working on any time I didn’t succeed on something I was working on, like, okay, well now I need to know I’m going to beat that.
00:40:34:22 – 00:40:54:09
Like working out for me. I thought like, I’m going to set 10 minutes a day because I did do some physical for 10 minutes a day. Well, when I was working in the field, that was a lot easier because it’s like, you know, electrician construction hands on. But when I got promoted and I started working in the office and sit at the computer for 8 hours, 9 hours a day, so 10 minutes a day for me.
00:40:54:09 – 00:41:13:00
In the evenings, I would let myself slip. You know, I’d not do it as small as it was. I wouldn’t do it. I didn’t give up. You know, I tried again the next day and I’d get it and then I’d market on the calendar, you know, my calendar. I’m going to post pictures on my socials, but like I’ve got a calendar.
00:41:13:00 – 00:41:33:11
There is circles and slashes and marks and axes and dots. Everything to me meant something different. But if someone came through, my garage were like, our house is attached to the garage. So we come through there, treat it like a mud room. I come through the garage, I got this calendar beer cans beside it. I’ve got all these little not notches and marks on the calendar.
00:41:33:11 – 00:41:50:15
Everyone means a different thing to somebody walking through. It doesn’t matter what it is. It doesn’t say on there that I’m not and brushing my teeth and doing whatever. Those mean something to me and that’s all that’s important. And somebody coming through there doesn’t need to add pressure to me to keep going that I got that on myself.
00:41:50:15 – 00:42:15:21
So, you know, marking these things on the calendar every day, the gym or working out in the garage 10 minutes, you know, if I miss a day, I put that goal back on that, okay, I’m going to not miss two days. I’m going to then try to get three days in a row. And there was four that one that was probably my hardest one was staying consistent there and it was just getting back on, you know, keep keep that going by trying again.
00:42:16:05 – 00:42:21:00
And don’t wait till next January to to feel like you have that motivator to get going.
00:42:21:02 – 00:42:31:15
Yeah, it’s like a fresh day at that point. The next day, just pick it up, try it again and don’t beat the hell out of yourself. And that’s great stuff, man. So it we’re kind of where can people find you and where can they connect with you?
00:42:32:10 – 00:43:01:14
So I’ve got my my website. It’s it’s evolving. And so it’s Shaun Robinson that’s here and CNN and Robina. So and RZA and there’s links there for my book. There’s kind of some background information and some testimonials. I’ve been doing a few podcasts. I think I’m up to a dozen or so now, and I’ve been on a few radio shows and I was in published in a magazine here.
00:43:01:14 – 00:43:19:18
Stu Lately. So, you know, I’m going to post all these media things on there. I’m going to put some frequently asked questions. One thing I learned, you know, with my commute and all this, all the content that I’ve absorbed, not everybody has that time in their life to do that. So I want to put some frequently asked questions on there.
00:43:19:18 – 00:43:39:03
So anybody that, you know, wants to, to to learn a bit more that that doesn’t have the time or, you know, listens to your show, but doesn’t listen to another show that they might get, you know, a little bit more out of it. So my website, Facebook, I’m on Facebook going drive, got a, you know, a themed page there.
00:43:39:03 – 00:43:47:22
They try and share as much as I can and kind of some updates and and things. And then just working on kind of evolving from there. LinkedIn.
00:43:49:00 – 00:43:58:17
That’s awesome, man. Well, look, I appreciate you being on before I let you go, what’s that one piece of advice you’d give somebody that’s on their path towards self-mastery?
00:43:58:17 – 00:44:26:04
I think I’ve touched on it a bit, but. But don’t feel like you can’t do it. We can all do it no matter what it is just you. Just the hardest part is getting started and keep it small. One small thing compounded every day. You got a little bit to it as as you feel comfortable and all of a sudden, you know, you’re down 100lbs, you’re two years sober and you’re giving back to the person that used to be you that that could use a little kick in the ass.
00:44:26:23 – 00:44:40:04
What a great way to end this episode. A little kick in the ass, man. I appreciate being on Shawn and thank you for doing what you’re doing and sticking true to what you what you feel is right and being open and honest with us, man. So thank you so much for being on today.
00:44:40:20 – 00:44:47:23
Thanks, Nick. You do a great job, everybody. You know what? Everybody benefits with with you at the helm. But the stuff out there, too.
00:44:48:01 – 00:44:49:18
I appreciate that, man. Thank you, Sean.
00:44:51:04 – 00:45:13:19
Another great conversation on today’s episode of The Mindset and Self-mastery Show. So what did you think of the show today? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Check out the Instagram or Facebook page. Join the conversation if you enjoyed the episode, please jump over to iTunes and subscribe rate and leave a five star review. It helps us be found and helps others be healed.
00:45:14:08 – 00:45:35:00
If this episode opened your eyes, made you think or smile at all, then I’m sure it’ll do the same for your friends. Check out the show notes for more info from today’s episode and check out other episodes on Mindset and Self-mastery show dot com as well as our YouTube channel. Just go to YouTube and look up the mindset and self-mastery show.
00:45:35:15 – 00:45:54:02
Thanks again to our incredible guests for being real, honest and vulnerable with us today. I’d like to thank our sponsors and most importantly, I’d like to thank you, thank you for hanging out with us today. Your support means the world to us. And with that, remember, your mindset matters. And so do you.
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