The Motivation Burrito

It all started with the Steve and the Blues Clues video. It really hit me in the feels and it made me realize that I forgot about a lot of things. Including the reason why I started this podcast in the first place. Take a listen and enjoy!

My first vacation with my boyfriend, we went to Cape May. There was this house where the foundations looked like a game of Jenga. Parts seemed to be missing and I wondered how that house was still standing! Sometimes this happens in life. Our foundations are shaken and we wonder how we're still standing when it seemed like the weight would cause us to collapse.

The Lion's Gate portal is officially open and this weekend rocked me. Every year this crazy portal causes a little shake up and causes a pivotal moment: run or heal. The last two years, I've made the decision to heal what needed to be healed and move forward in courage and confidence. This year, the Universe confirmed my decision in a BIG way. Check it out.

I had an awesome session with my therapist who basically told me I should be one. Even though that's too much school and money, it did help me realize that I possess a pretty cool set of skills and awareness. It was also the kick in the butt I needed to record another episode. I'm wondering if I should make this a thing? Taco Tuesday Therapy lol.

The last few episodes of my podcast have been really emotional, lots more crying than I wanted and I started to feel like I couldn't bring anything positive to the table. I then realized, I had too much on my plate and I needed to decide where I wanted to focus my energy. I knew that first and foremost, I wanted to be present in my new relationship and see where it goes. I knew I had a great guy, I just needed to give him that time and space. So here's what's been happening!

I'm just putting it out there at this point. I fell so hard for my boyfriend and I love him. But tonight I fucked up because I let my anxiety take control. And I may have just damaged my relationship in the process. So here's another tear fest of an episode.

I feel like I'm failing as a girlfriend. And if you didn't think that could be a thing, it's a fucking thing. And it's a shitty feeling at that. Knowing that you deeply care about your SO and finding yourself struggling in the relationship is not a good place to be in. What's worse is this overwhelming fear that this person will change their mind about you. So here I am, in pure emotion of course, trying to be a better girlfriend.

I honestly didn't know what to title this. It feels like God/The Universe just hit fast forward and I never expected I'd be recording this episode and talking about my new relationship. And yet, here I am, the happiest I've ever been. The Universe really can be magic!

Things got a little weird the last couple weeks. I'm talking like heavy in the emotions weird, which you guys know by now, I just don't like to do. But as much as I've spent most of my life avoiding them, I felt like I needed to lean in. Because if I'm going to continue to heal this emotional eating, and even heal my mind, I have to show up. And not just show up, but learn to stay present. So let's get weird, let's get emotional. I mean, that's how we grow right?

This episode is a recap of the last 6 months in my journey. From committing to my physical health, to my struggles emotionally and spiritually. I had to learn the hard way, but I guess that just earned me some XP points and an extra life. I also briefly discuss some things related to American Heart Health month and ways to keep your heart healthy.