The Motivation Burrito

Once again, I tanked with another guy. And honestly I'm tired. I'm throwing in the towel on dating. Because dating with mental health issues is hard and there are not many who understand what it's like or what goes on inside our heads. And it's not like you can put that info on your dating profile without judgment. It's a guaranteed rejection. So I tanked. Because my thoughts got away from me. And now it's midnight, I'm recording this episode and can't stop crying.

The Maneater. She's a dangerous woman. As the song says, she'll chew you up. But that's because nobody knows her secret. Her big secret. The Maneater is actually highly emotionally aware. There's a reason why she keeps it secret though. In fact, the Maneater is more relatable than we think. Tune in to find out why!

Today I was having a ton of mixed feelings and emotions on a lot of things. I know the lesson is ultimately a lesson on receiving and allowing, but I've just been so tired of asking for things and limiting myself or feeling like momentum stops. So instead of having just a slice of what I want, I'm ready for the whole damn cake.

I checked out the last couple weeks. I honestly got to the point where I just was so emotionally exhausted that I didn't care anymore. I couldn't see a reason to stay in the game and to keep playing. And to be honest, I'm still kind of checked out. But I'm trying to check back in. Not easy to do though when you feel like you're walking without a line of sight. So what do you do?

This episode is different. Once upon a time, I wanted to write a RomCom novel. I had the main characters lined out. I spent hours researching their names and was super excited to be able to bring them to life. But I didn't. I never wrote the book, I never brought them to life. I abandoned them. Until this week, when something told me I needed to talk about Harley Jade, and it wasn't until the day of this episode, that I realized why.

The Dark Place, void, depression, whatever you want to call it, is a place that nobody likes to talk about. It's a place that I've honestly been in for a while. And while there are moments when I have pulled myself out, those moments are temporary and something happens to pull me back in. I honestly don't know where this road takes me, but I know that right now, there may be someone in this space that needs to know they're not alone

This week I actually joined a dating site. Wild, I know. So why not have a conversation about dating, breakups, breakdowns, and breaking the rules. Plus a really interesting story or two.

I rewrote this description like 10 times. The last time I recorded an episode for the men, I was in a space of resistance, but I also was learning how to see men differently. Recently, while looking within my own heart, I started to think about what's in the heart of men? Specifically, what's in the heart of the men in my life. And how can I connect with them on a deeper level? How can I see them, love them, and let them know they are truly appreciated? How can I make them feel safe in my space? This episode looks at and honors not just the man, but the treasure in his heart.

Title Change! I noticed that this is something I say to my friends a lot. I didn't fully understand why until I recently had a session where I talked about denial and abandonment. I realized that me saying "I'm not going anywhere" is one of the ways I cope with these two things. That because I never want anyone to feel abandoned, I feel the need to reinforce that I'm always here. Take a listen to what I discovered.

Christmas is my favorite holiday. Second is Thanksgiving lol. To me, there's nothing greater than Christmas lights, coffee, hot chocolate, warm blankets, cozy socks, etc. When it comes to Christmas, I'm a Master at gifting. And yet, all my gifts, have something in common, which to me, is the greatest gift.