the Mudroom

There is nothing quite as triggering to parents as their child biting.

I mean…who the heck opens their mouth and decides to latch onto another human's skin?!

It’s wild when you think about it like that.

But the answer is young children. Young children do that.

Whether it’s at home and your kid is just randomly chomping into your arm while you play.

Your toddler sinking their teeth into their baby brother when upset.

Or maybe you get that dreaded “ouchie note” home and a little frown from their daycare teacher letting you know your kid has been leaving teeth imprints on friends.

Biting is actually a pretty common “misbehavior”.

It’s not a pleasant time.

But it’s also not necessarily a thing to panic over either.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re going to take it seriously, especially if they’re breaking skin, but we’re not gonna lose our minds over it.

And I’m going to tell you why.

In this episode I’m going to explain the 3 main reasons why children bite.

So whether you think they’re biting out of anger, just randomly drive-by biting, or seeming to get a kick out of seeing the person's reaction, those reasons all still tie back to the big 3.

Once you learn what those 3 reasons are, it’s going to be much easier to stop the biting- and I’ll bet it’ll relieve some stress you might have about it too.

So, ready to find out why children get the urge to gnaw on someone?

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

“Redshirting” or delaying enrolling your child into Kinder (or 1st grade if you chose to skip Kinder) and keeping your child back a year is a question I get asked about frequently.

There’s a lot of anxiety and stress about the decision to redshirt or not red shirt, and to be honest there’s a whole bunch of controversy and drama about it too.

So I figured I’d go ahead and chat about it in this week’s Mudroom.

I get asked a lot about it because I made the decision to red-shirt my oldest son, which I’ve openly talked about before. He’s currently getting ready to step into the exciting world of being a 3rd grader but would have been going into 4th grade.

And I didn’t make that decision lightly.

There’s a whole bunch of reasons why you might choose to hold your child back a grade and a whole bunch of reasons why you might decide against it.

In this episode I’m not going to try and convince you to do one or the other.

But I will share my experience and reasons for red-shirting my oldest and some things you might want to consider when making a decision of your own.

BTW- If you are thinking this over, know that there are tons of factors that come into play with this decision, including what you’re legally allowed to do.

I’m not throwing out any legal advice whatsoever (so, please for the love of everything good don’t take it as legal advice) but I will also share the general steps I took to make sure I didn’t land myself in any trouble.

Cause I know finding the information can be a little overwhelming.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

“Validate their emotions” is a phrase that has taken on almost a comedic meaning.

Along with the general misunderstanding that gentle parenting means let-your-kids-run-wild and baby talk your 5 year old,

Validating emotions has also been misunderstood as absurdly pointing out your kid is crying (in a baby voice of course) and then awkwardly standing there staring at one another for a while.

And I’ll admit, I’ve had my fair share of laughs watching the Instagram reels where parents share their frustration about it.

It feels silly to have your toddler stomping around the kitchen and borderline bear growling at you and then saying “aaawww…you must be sooooo angry!”

Well duh.

What gave it away, the stomping or the bear growls? 🤪

But the reason is can feel so absurd is because there’s:

A: confusion about the purpose of validating emotions in children (and it’s not to coddle them).

And B: confusion about how to validate emotions.

So that’s what this week’s Mudroom conversation will be about.

We’ll chat about why we validate our children’s emotions, how this helps their behavior in the long run, and 3 easy steps to validating their emotions in an impactful way.

As always, I want to stress that this is not about letting children get away with everything and do whatever they want.

It’s about helping them feel secure while they figure out this whole human experience.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

I don’t know about you but for myself and alot of people I know, we were raised being told that interrupting was rude.

So it’s understandable that we as parents get frustrated every time their child bursts into the middle of their conversation to ask why puppies and cats don’t get along while waving a coloring sheet of a puppy and cat snuggling in your face.

It’s a bit rude (and a bit annoying).

And kids do it alot.

You might have attempted to correct this by telling them “stop interrupting” and unsurprisingly that doesn’t work.

Not to mention they take your break in conversation to tell them to “stop interrupting” as a green light to continue interrupting and squeeze in whatever it is they wanted to tell you.

I mean, might as well while they’ve got your attention anyway.

The good news is children don’t do this to be rude on purpose, or to be disrespectful.

There are certain skills that they need to build and strengthen to recognize that they’re interrupting and then further keep themselves from doing so.

This can be especially difficult for some children, especially if it’s something they’re super excited about.

That’s why in this week’s Mudroom I’m going to go over:

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

Buckle up because we’re going to talk about a serious topic for this week’s Mudroom.

Recently there’s been a big surge in discussion around things like spanking and physical punishment out of love for their children.

“Spare the rod- spoil the child” kind of energy.

I do want to make this perfectly clear: we don’t spank children around here.

You won’t ever hear me say: spank your child, a small pop is okay, a little tap is fine.

There is no justification for physically harming your child.

There is no place for it in discipline (or anywhere).

Cool? Cool.

That said- since it’s a topic of discussion that’s popped up recently in the free parenting group 

And it’s seemed to have stirred up some interest in trauma bonds. I’ve talked about it before but given the response from the community it seems like it’s worth discussing again.

So in this week’s Mudroom conversation I’m going to explain what trauma bonds are, what that looks like in a parent/child relationship, and how it impacts children.

I do want to say, I know this can ruffle some feathers. The term itself trauma bond is really heavy and intense, but it’s our job as parents to be brave enough to face the hard stuff.

To come to terms with the difficult parts of raising a child and learning so we can do better.

So this is my invite for you to be brave, and join this conversation to and see what you learn.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

This is a topic I want to get into because it’s something that happens a lot, and it’s also something that often makes parents uncomfortable.   

I’m talking about when you’re out and about and your kid (often loudly… or at least it seems loud) points out someone who is different in someway.   

“Why is my new classmate darker then me?”  

“What happened to that man’s arm?”   

“How come that kid gets to use that tablet in the classroom?”   

Sometimes they notice these things and come home and ask but I want to focus more so on what we do when our children ask these questions in public.   

Because these questions often bring out embarrassment or even some kind of shame in parents, especially when the person in question overhears the question.   

And parents reaction is usually to quickly hush their child or dismiss the question altogether.   

I propose an alternative solution.   

In this episode I’ll be sharing three things:  

- Why children feel the need to point out these differences (and why they’re not purposefully being rude) 

- How you as a parent can respond to your child’s question 

- And one very important thing to keep in mind when your child asks these types of questions and the person hears it  

We can’t raise children who are aware, respectful, and inclusive of all the diversity around them by ignoring it- but these are still tricky conversations to navigate, but we’re going to give it a go anyway!

Tick

Click

Tick

Click

That was the sound a child was making over and over while sitting his his mothers lap and waiting to be called into the office.

And with every tick and click you could see her patience slipping away.

Eventually she put her hand over his and asked him to please stop making that noise. It seemed like he handn’t even realized he was making the noise, because he looked up surprised and stopped.

You might also notice your child seems to just make random noises and sounds, or sometimes it’s just a looooooooong stream of continuous chatter that has no rhyme or reason besides just to make noise.

I’m just gonna come right out and say it- sometimes it’s annoying as hell.

But there’s a reason behind why children make these noises.

In this episode, we’re going to revisit the topic of why kids make loud, repetitive, and annoying noises and what you can do if you feel like you’re losing your mind over it.

You might even be surprised to learn that the reason why kids make these noises, is similar to the reason why adults to do certain things too.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

Let me just ask- have you started yet?

You know, searching Pinterest for cute “I’m starting Kinder” picture ideas, buying all school supplies, and all the generally cute and fun stuff we parents get sucked into doing when Kindergarten is just around the corner.

Chances are, if you have a 4/5 year old, you’re prepping for that transition either this upcoming August or in the upcoming year (feels far away but it’s not really).

And while there’s usually a bunch of excitement for this huge milestone, you might have noticed something that a ton of parents go through around this time.

Your child is…what’s the word…emotional to say the least.

Everything is a dire situation for them it seems.

It’s a meltdown over the smallest things.

Big emotions over every inconvenience or change.

You probably feel like you’re walking on eggshells wondering what’s going to set off the next outburst.

This is a pretty common developmental stage that I like to call The Limbic Leap and the good news is that it’s completely normal.

I have a whole episode that goes in depth about what’s happening in the brain during this stage but essentially, their brain’s “alarm system” is growing and recalibrating.

And until it gets it shit together your child is hypersensitive to the unexpected and to change.

Which brings us back to Kindergarten.

No, in most cases parent’s don’t need to be concerned about their child entering Kindergarten as a menace.

But this is a big change for children, even if they’ve been in daycare or preschool and they’re going to need some extra help and support navigating this new change.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

Summer is here! ☀️ Or at least nearly here for most of us.

And while the kids may be free for shenanigans for a few weeks, parents often are not.

Whether that’s because you’re working, have younger children who need attention, or you simply don’t want a kid at your heel all summer complaining about having nothing to do, it’s time to make a game plan.

And I’ve got an easy one to share with you that’ll make summer break manageable (and dare I say fun?) for everyone.

This is going to be particularly helpful if you have a child who’s prone to the “I’m booooored” woes and expect you to cure it.

In this episode we’ll chat about:

Plus the boundary you want to set from the very start of summer break if you have any intention of getting anything done during the next few weeks.

Feeling the summer vibes and excitement? Me too! Let’s kick it off with a great start by preparing for it now.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

Summer is in full swing which often brings about a whole lot of buzz about extra-curricular and enrichment classes.

I’m talking swim, dance, acting, art, violin, soccer, all the things.

I mean, let’s be honest. It’s freaking ADORABLE to see your kid in their little mini uniform wandering around the field while the coach/instructor tries to corral them all back in.

Or celebrating their first score/performance/award? The pride parents feel is basically at the same level it would be if they had won the Olympics or something.

That’s why I want to start off by saying I do not hate extracurricular activities.

I know there are lots of parenting experts out there who are vehemently against these classes for kinder and younger but I don’t think signing your 4-year-old up for cheerleading is the most awful thing you could do to a child.

But are the classes needed?

No.

They aren’t missing out on developmental skill-building if you decide to never sign them up for afterschool piano lessons.

Should you force them to participate?

Also no.

“But children need their parents to push them to try new things! Sometimes you gotta force them so they learn.”

I’ve heard that line and similar statements before and again: no, we shouldn’t force them.

And I’m going to tell you why in this episode.

I’m going to share the 3 reasons to sign up your kids for extra-curricular/enrichment classes and how we as parents may have gotten a little bit off track about its purpose.

And, if you do sign them up for a class, an unorthodox tip to help them get the most out of their class.

For my parents who have kids who just blank stare at their instructor during Karate or break out with their own choreography in tap dance, this tip can really help remove the battle of the wills between you and your child about participating and practice.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices