the Mudroom

So there are these cute videos on Reels and Tiktok where both parents stand on either side of the child and count to three- then they run in opposite directions and wait to see who the child follows.

And it’s this cute little trend that everyone gets a little laugh from when the child hurries after the same parent every time.

But…

It stops being so funny when it keeps happening over and over again.

It can sting a bit to see your child light up every evening when their other parent walks through the door after they spent the day screaming their head off.

Why do they turn into this sweet little cherub for their other parent?

Or watching them sweetly cuddle up on their lap during family movie night while slowly scooting you away with their foot? Like- what the heck?

You might put on a brave face and smile but jeez does it suck sometimes to feel like the other parent is the favorite!

But what if it’s flipped? Maybe you’re the favorite parent right now and you’re worried that your partner might be a bit hurt about it and you’re not sure what to do.

It’s not like you can shun your child’s love (don’t do that lol).

Don’t worry.

The good news is that parental preference and love aren’t the same things. They might prefer the other parent more, but it’s not a competition of love.

In this episode, I’m going to break down exactly what’s happening developmentally when your child seems to be picking favorites and how you can handle with (without trying to bribe your child to love you more).

We’ve discussed this in the past and it’s always helped parents to know what’s going on in their child’s brain when this happens so they can stop overthinking about why the other parent is “better” and start focusing on what really matters.

So let’s chat about your child seeming to like their other parent more (or why they seem to have latched on to you).

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

This is important, okay?

Not too long ago we discussed how to pick out a daycare program for your child and I love being able to support parents with such a huge milestone.

Whether it’s their first time being cared for outside the home or if they're simply changing programs - it’s important to make sure that the program is a good fit for your child.

But there’s a topic that really needs its own separate conversation.

And that’s inclusion vs integration.

Some schools will use the phrases like they’re an “inclusive school” as a buzzword but when it comes to the actual practice of inclusion- what they really mean is integration.

And this seemingly minor difference in words matters.

Even though some programs and people use the two phrases interchangeably, they’re two very different things and it has a huge impact on the quality of care your child receives.

And really just their overall wellbeing.

This is especially important if you have a child who is differently-abled, neurodiverse, or identifies with a minority and/or marginalized community.

So in this episode conversation we will be discussing:

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

If you’re reading this there’s a pretty good chance that you’re either looking for a preschool/daycare or that decision is looming in the near future.

(And boy does the time fly by! You’ll blink and it’ll be time to choose.)

There’s a lot to consider and it can be overwhelming.

A lot of parents focus on the logistical things- which is completely reasonable! It’s important to consider if it’s on your way to work or if you want a center vs a more homelike environment.

Those types of features are definitely something to think about.

But it always breaks my heart when I hear parents say after all that research they’re still facing challenge after challenge after they enrolled their child/ren and it turns out to be the completely wrong environment for their kid.

It stings a bit more too if you’ve shelled out some cash for a registration fee if we’re being honest…

I want to remind you if that’s the situation you’re in now- it’s not become to some parental failure or lapse of judgment. There are lots of places that check all the general positive marks and then end up not working out.

The factors that can make a real difference between a quality preschool and the ones that don’t work out aren’t always as obvious as a nice-looking classroom or big playgrounds.

With over a decade in the early childhood field, I have an advantage of knowing what to look for and what questions to ask- things that parents might not necessarily think of, which is okay!

That’s what I’m here for.

In this MudRoom episode, I’ll be sharing what to look for when picking out a preschool and how that makes a difference in care.

So next time you go on a tour you’ll have some clarity about what actually makes a great daycare/preschool and you can keep a sharp eye out for those green (and red) flags before enrolling.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

You might have heard the quote from the movie/book Juno: “A woman becomes a mother when she gets pregnant, a man becomes a father when he sees his baby.”

And that sentiment seems to be reflected in a lot of the parents I work with.

So, let’s just be completely honest here.

When a woman becomes a mother- typically it’s an immediate shift into motherhood and we adopt that identity pretty early on. (Although I understand that not everyone experiences motherhood the same way- this is generally.)

We understand the cues for hunger.

We can hear the difference between a poopy diaper cry and a needs a nap cry.

We can make a bottle with eyes half closed, sleep deprived, and groping around in the dark without needing step-by-step instructions.

But for some reason…stepping into fatherhood seems to be a much more…extended transition.

I’ve heard from plenty of couples where the mother explains how frusterated she’s become since she basically has to Kindergarten walk her partner through things like changing a toddlers pull up in the car.

Again, in general, it just feels like mothers jump in the pool of parenting head first but fathers kind of poke their pinky toe into the water before eventually wading it and joining mom in the deep end.

So, why is there such a stark difference between becoming a mother vs becoming a father?

In this episode of the Mudroom we’re going to chat about being a dad vs being a mom and how the way we ease ourselves into these roles can impact our children.

I’m also going to break down how we can help father’s take more ownership of the caretaking role in parenting (because they are absolutely capable and competent enough to do that!).

I’m excited for this conversation!

To be honest, it is mostly the mothers who join the parenting membership ParentAbility or are there for MudRoom conversations but it’s always exciting to see fathers participate and I want to keep encouraging that involvement.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

There are a lot of parents who watch their child bounce from one activity to another and wonder why their child can’t seem to

Just

Sit

Still.

Your kids seem easily distracted when they were supposed to be putting their jackets in the closet.

Or they’re suddenly as your leg poking their nose into your conversation when you swore you sent them off to wash their hands for dinner.

You thought they were picking up the blocks from the living room but when you come back they’ve disappeared to the playroom (again).

So, is this lack of attention something you should be concerned about?

Though it’s likey driving you nuts trying to keep track of your little busy bee, the good news is it’s completely typical behavior for kids 6 and under to have a limited attention span.

And there’s a good reason for it too!

In this Mudroom epiode, I’m going to explain why your child seems like they’re unable to focus and what you can do to help them.

Because believe it or not, they’re not bouncing from one thing to another simply to keep you from relaxing.

And before you panic, a slight spoiler alert- my advice is not to do more and bust out all the tricks and stunts to keep them entertained, nor is it to jam-pack their schedule with “enriching” activities.

As a matter of fact- if you’ve fallen into the habit of trying to entertain your child to help curb some of their boredom I really encourage you to join this week’s conversation because it’s going to help.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

Everyone loves a little magic in their lives and for a lot of parents, there’s a lot of joy and fun in creating magic for their children.   

Have you ever scrolled through Pinterest and seen how creative some of these ideas are?  Like “tooth fairy glitter” inside a special envelope.  Reindeer treats trailed around the backyard so Santa’s reindeer know where to park on Christmas Eve.  

Or pieces of colorful eggshells around the Easter basket that the bunny left behind.  Among the endless work of filling juice cups and potty training, these magical moments when kids are looking at you bright-eyed and giggling at the tooth fairies antics are priceless.   

But here’s the tricky part.   

Are we lying to them?  

Or, I guess a better question is are we misleading them?  

I’ve had a few people in my free Facebook community for parents ask what they should do when their child does start asking questions like “is the tooth fairy real?” or wondering if they’re doing a disservice by talking about Santa.  

After all, many of us are big on being honest with our children (as we should be!).   

In this Mudroom episode, we’re going to chat about the difference between magic vs being misleading.   

And as always, you are the expert on your child so the decision about what traditions to participate in and which ones to skip are always yours, but I think this conversation will give you a great perspective that also won’t force you to ditch drawing Reindeer hooves on the sidewalk if you don’t want to.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

Most of us are aware of what bribing is.

Afterall, it’s not a secret that children can sometimes be really difficult.

It reminds me of the iconic scene in the movie Lord Of The Rings where Gandalf the Wizard shouts “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”-

That’s what it feels like when you’re running late and you need to them to just accept that the red cup is missing and you don’t have anymore time to run around the house searching for it.

They have their little feet firmly planted in front of the door with a pouty lip and arms crossed with the “you shall not pass…until the red sippy cup is found.” look.

It’s probably tempting to break out the M&M’s and tell them “if you just get in the car this once without the red sippy cup then you can have some candy.”

And I’ve talked about why bribing isn’t the greatest long-term response before.

Instead, you want to establish boundaries.

However, the difference between boundaries and bribery actually isn’t quite as obvious as parents tend to think.

While you’re probably not offering candy and treats in exchange for compliance, but those aren’t the only forms of bribery.

I see it often in my free parenting group The Parenting Posse– well-meaning parents offer advice to someone not realizing that they’re actually suggesting a “bribe in disguise”.

So, what’s the difference and how can you tell if you’re bribing your child or setting a boundry?

Int this episode we will be sharing:

If you’ve found yourself overthinking how to get your child to listen or maybe even using bribery more often than you’d care to admit pop in for this week’s Mudroom.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

Picture this: you’re having a playdate at your friend's house.   

The kids request a popsicle so your mom's friend hands each one a nice, fun summer treat.  Everyone is happy and smiling and it’s just a wonderful, wholesome moment.  

Then your child accidentally spills a drop of purple popsicle on their shirt- they look down and…  Bombs away!  

They drop the F-bomb.  😮  

Now everyone is staring in disbelief and you can’t decide if this is one of those moments where you laugh (afterall, it was timed perfectly) OR if you sternly correct them for using a bad word.  Which one do you choose?   

This is actually a common question and occurrence with children.   

They hear a word and repeat it. And sometimes those words are more…colorful than others.   

How do you handle your child cursing?    

This isn’t going to be a shame-y, “OMG children should never say that!”, kinda thing either.   

Whether you decide to let them use the language or not is up to you– afterall you are their parent. But I will give some insight on:  If my family decided to allow cursing or not and why we made that decision  Reacting to your child's cursing and establishing rules about them  

If you use curse words, does that automatically mean your child will have a sailor mouth too?  So if your kid has been known to throw out a $*#&$ or a !($*@& or you’re worried about them picking it up.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

Recently in the free community for parents Parenting Posse a parent asked a question about their child being unintentionally aggressive, but no matter what the parents did (taking away screen time, discussing the incident, etc) the behaviour continued.   

And this isn’t the only time a parent has asked a question with a similar scenario:

- The child keeps doing a certain perceived misbehaviour. 

- Parents gives a punishment 

- Child stops for a day or two, maybe, but then does it again.   

Rinse and repeat.   

It’s enough to drive any parent bonkers.  

Why do they keep crashing into furniture after you’ve explained how dangerous it is?   

Or why do they keep antagonizing their sibling before bedtime even though you’ve made them apologize a million times?  How many more times are you going to have to explain that dumping the hand soap and rubbing it all over their arms is not okay?

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices

When we think about emotional, angsty, moody children we often think about teenagers, right? 

We’re picturing a 16 year old with their hoodie pulled over their head, earphones blaring Paramore to block out the world, and a permanent scowl.   So WHY the heck is your 3 year old already bursting out in tears and yelling you’re a mean momma?   

Isn’t it a bit too early for your kid to be huffing and rolling their eyes?   Why are kids so emotional?!   

A lot of parents seem to already know this is common behavior (plenty of threenager horror stories and memes floating around the internet to confirm we’ve all experienced it), but what parents don’t seem to know is that it’s also normal.  

There’s a bunch of things happening in your child’s brain at this stage that’s making them especially sensitive and it’s an important part of their development- but it doesn’t mean it’s always fun or easy.

Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices