The Ned & Josh Podcast

Josh has accidentally booked a ski weekend for the exact time his sister is due to give birth, leaving him to decide whether becoming a first-time uncle outranks fresh snow. Elsewhere, a hypothetical kangaroo enters the studio, Lenny briefly appears deceased, and a perfectly innocent trip to Rebel Sport becomes an identity crisis involving Frank Green lids, tennis equipment and unusually judgemental mannequins.

There is also a tribute to childhood comfort toys, the extremely short life of an alien named William, an unfortunate connection to Ned’s alien tattoo, and a debate over whether anybody noticed the Commonwealth Games had started. The Olympics face the FIFA World Cup in a battle for sporting supremacy before Josh is tested on Corey Worthington, Play School, Dorothy the Dinosaur and his own mortality.

Find us on Instagram @nedandjosh

The secret behind the podcast introductions is revealed, along with an unexpectedly detailed discussion about fluffers in the modern porn industry. A workplace fart inspires a live covering-up challenge, a car receives a luxurious winter blankie and young men are warned that nobody is fooled by their suspiciously cheap bed sheets.

Social media appears to be serving location-specific negativity, even when the snow conditions are considerably better than advertised. Ned auditions to become Meta’s newest lobbyist, a shout at a dog on live television causes the Johnny Depp dog saga to return. There’s also an American healthcare form defeated by a long name, dangerous teacher surnames, a student who resembled his teacher and an attempted schoolyard burn that achieved absolutely nothing.

Find us on Instagram @nedandjosh

Creative accountability has gone too far as the listeners become demanding music executives and Michael is summoned back into the room. Pixar layoffs spark questions about Disney’s streaming model, the lost power of DVD purchases and whether HR needs plain stationery for especially grim announcements.

There’s a successful switch from snowboarding to skiing, a blue run completed by mistake and a frightening descent past two unimpressed children. Michael’s break involved dog sitting, parental proof of life in Adelaide and a Rogue Traders performance. The fashion desk investigates surprise shoes, corporate dad accessories and the logic of dressing like a similar-looking celebrity. Steve Martin enters the lookalike conversation before a Facebook Marketplace grudge and an intoxicated Sade shirt exchange demonstrate the emotional cost of online bargaining.

Someone else’s skip becomes an ethical battleground, getting older means surrendering treasured junk, and the Brewinkle family name receives the explanation it deserves. There is also a bald man with shampoo, a digital calendar designed for a dog and a minor car accident that causes human empathy to disappear remarkably quickly.

Elsewhere, Ned confronts his childhood attraction to Spud from Bob the Builder, the origin of the word “mentor” is uncovered, Ned explains his hatred of cheerful construction workers, and an old letterbox explosion leads directly to Satan. The Vatican’s hacked prayer app then raises some deeply uncomfortable questions.

Find us on Instagram @nedandjosh

Ned's dad has a colourful past as a pool hustler in the pubs of Tasmania, and this episode digs into exactly how the scam worked, right down to the fake losses and the sprint out the door with the cash. From there, the boys tackle the eternal question of what to do when someone in front of you at the servo treats the queue like their living room.

There's also an update on the man whose micropenis diagnosis went viral, a very panicked driveway incident at Ned's grandparents' place, and word that strange space debris has started appearing on Queensland shorelines. Oh, and Eminem's takedown attempt against a beach umbrella brand backfires spectacularly.

Merlin the Duck has somehow become one of the biggest stars of the World Cup without setting foot inside a stadium, and Ned and Josh spend a good chunk of this episode working out exactly why he's banned and whether he's at risk of spotting a relative on a dinner plate. From there it's straight into a review of the new Supergirl movie, with both hosts defending the leads against some harsher reviews online. Josh admits to an impulse-buying habit that saw him swap shopping centres just to dodge temptation before immediately failing anyway, landing on an RGB light as his latest unnecessary purchase. The episode wraps with a deep dive into a soggy rugby league clash, featuring a team name that might be the best in the competition.

Josh's new hobby of photographing planes at the airport earns a polite but firm cross-examination from Ned, before the conversation turns to the Croatian pony named Mile who was abandoned at birth for being too small and is now recovering from surgery while living in a fourth-floor apartment. Backrooms gets pulled apart alongside a crash course in creepy pasta internet history, and Ned reflects on the strange sadness of realising he can no longer recall a single AFL theme song — something he once had burned into his memory to connect with his sports-mad dad. The episode closes with a very genuine and unresolved debate about whether biting your tongue or burning your mouth is the worse experience.

A learner driver in an L-plate car full of laughing family members went through a McDonald's drive-thru this week and looked absolutely terrified, which is correct, because drive-thru kerbs are scuffed to hell for a reason and the pressure of ordering while also steering is real. Josh has started calculating what calibrated driving speed makes him look responsible enough to be trusted with stepson lessons in a few years. Claw machines are a young person's game and Ned knows this about himself, which is the only thing that kept him walking. Henry Cavill was at the races and the ascot-versus-fascinator debate opened a taxonomy rabbit hole no one was prepared for. The Simpsons will keep selling merchandise forever because nine-year-olds keep discovering it and falling in love with it before anyone can warn them about season twenty-something.

The boys open with a correction nobody asked for, turns out that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce wedding rumour might have been a swing and a miss. From there it's straight into the World Cup, the Socceroos' rough outing against the US, and what it's like watching football fans from around the globe experience America for the very first time. The TSA has had to weigh in on ranch dressing as a carry-on liquid, McDonald's has quietly dismantled the McSmart Meal in three painful tiers, and Pauline Hanson decided mid-tournament was the perfect time to go after SBS. There's also a deep dive into how Don Draper's secret family lifestyle simply couldn't survive in the smartphone era, plus why the word "fraudster" is far too charming for the people who scammed Josh's nan.

Find us on Instagram @nedandjosh

Magic the Gathering has a Ninja Turtle crossover that's either the best or worst thing to happen to card gaming depending on who you ask, and Ned is firmly in the best camp. Somewhere in the middle of all that, a mother from Virginia decided to name all six of her kids after American states, a woman without a right hand got fined for using her phone, and a flight full of Knicks fans lost their collective minds while one lone passenger watched Avatar on a loop. Josh gets pulled over in Western Australia by an officer convinced he'd flicked a lit cigarette out of a moving car, which would require Josh to smoke, which he does not.

Find us on Instagram @nedandjosh