The Nextlander Watchcast

The Nextlander Watchcast

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The Nextlander Watchcast episodes

  • 166: Masters of the Universe (1987)

    The final film in our slate of toy commercials turned cinema is arguably the roughest watch yet. Specifically, we all argue that maybe Masters of the Universe with Dolph Lundgren and a rubber Skeletor COULD have maybe been something watchable, if only every single creative choice were different, and better. Then you might have something!

    CHAPTERS:

    (00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 166: Masters of the Universe (1987)
    (00:00:16) - Intro.
    (00:02:51) - Where did we land on He-Man as kids?
    (00:14:10) - On the toys themselves, and the delightful weirdos who made them. And a bit on Filmation.
    (00:21:14) - How in the world did this movie happen?
    (00:43:37) - Somehow, there was almost a direct sequel to this.
    (00:48:55) - Break!
    (00:49:18) - We're back, and this is way too grand an entrance for what we're about to see.
    (00:59:52) - This man, this is not my kind of He-Man.
    (01:04:11) - Skeletor has won, but thankfully there's exactly one man who can save us: a weird little inventor guy.
    (01:13:30) - We can go anywhere in the universe, we end up in 1980s Southern California.
    (01:22:54) - These things just happen, you know?
    (01:30:59) - Skeletor breaks it down, and things start getting real dumb on Earth.
    (01:45:35) - Courteney's leg gets zapped, He-Man's a slave, and that cop is still running around.
    (01:47:31) - Warping to Eternia for one last battle.
    (01:58:26) - Saying a long goodbye.
    (02:01:50) - Who cares about timeline integrity when you can wish your parents back to life?
    (02:06:18) - Final thoughts. You can probably guess what they are.
    (02:15:03) - Housekeeping for next month's movies.
    (02:20:03) - Outro.

    2 hr 22 min
  • 165: G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987)

    The process of tearing apart our consumerist childhoods is far from over, as the Watchcast crew digs this week into G.I. Joe: The Movie, another toy commercial in disguise that comes up with some of the most bonkers stuff this franchise ever saw, both for better and for worse.

    CHAPTERS:

    (00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 165: G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987)
    (00:00:18) - Intro.
    (00:08:47) - A brief history of Government Issue Joe, and our personal fandoms.
    (00:26:37) - More on the tone of the show, and how that filtered into the movie.
    (00:30:56) - How this movie came to be, and why it never made it to theaters.
    (00:39:19) - Talking about our cast (and porno cartoons).
    (00:51:31) - Are the new grunts as good as the old timers?
    (00:56:51) - Break!
    (00:57:40) - We're back and we're already humming this musical number.
    (01:02:46) - People have had it with Cobra Commander.
    (01:12:15) - The B.E.T.--no, not that B.E.T.
    (01:17:16) - Stumbling into Cobra-la.
    (01:23:46) - Our cavalcade of new stars (toys).
    (01:40:30) - There's no way Cobra could break in here! And the lore dump to end all lore dumps.
    (01:57:05) - Falcon gets airdropped into unincorporated Slaughter territory.
    (02:02:35) - Roadblock and Cobra I Was Once a Commaaaaaannnder escape.
    (02:09:52) - A sneaking mission to Cobra Island, and it's time to send in the sandworms.
    (02:16:48) - He's gone into a coma!
    (02:24:34) - A big dumb battle to end this movie.
    (02:35:52) - Duke's okay! Somehow!
    (02:37:57) - Final thoughts.
    (02:46:46) - Housekeeping for next week's movie: Masters of the Universe!
    (02:51:31) - Outro.

    2 hr 52 min
  • 164: Transformers: The Movie (1986)

    The Watchcast is back for another year, and we're kicking off 2026 by laying waste to our plastic filled childhoods! The first entry in our trio of toy commercials disguised as films is one very near and dear to our youthful hearts in Transformers: The Movie, a film that simultaneously enthralled and traumatized an entire generation of budding robot enthusiasts, and tested the limits of how many popular characters you can kill off in the name of commerce.

    CHAPTERS:

    (00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 164: Transformers: The Movie (1986
    (00:00:25) - Intro.
    (00:05:57) - Let's talk about our own histories with Transformers fandom.
    (00:14:45) - On the trauma of Transformer murder.
    (00:20:49) - How did Transformers (generally) come into existence? And some other miscellaneous bits.
    (00:31:55) - Onto the movie, and who is responsible for all this.
    (00:38:14) - Killing off the old toy line.
    (00:44:54) - What a (bizarre) cast! And soundtrack!
    (01:00:19) - Break!
    (01:00:50) - We're back, and real quick, let's chat about the version we watched.
    (01:03:22) - Kicking off your kids movie with an entire planet being devoured.
    (01:10:46) - Leaping into the year 2005, and everybody's got moonbases now.
    (01:15:59) - Say goodbye to several Autobots.
    (01:19:48) - Hot Rod, Kup, Arcee, and the rest!
    (01:29:00) - Optimus is here to save the--oh no.
    (01:35:47) - The scene that middle-aged nerds still describe to their therapists.
    (01:40:18) - Unicron, Galvatron, and various Cyclonuses.
    (01:51:43) - Eat it, Starscream.
    (01:54:09) - On Arcee, and how the party gets split.
    (02:00:12) - Are the Quintessons interesting? A debate.
    (02:08:33) - Are the Junkions interesting? No.
    (02:13:02) - Unicron goes ham, and Rodimus is born.
    (02:29:14) - Final thoughts.
    (02:40:31) - Teeing up for next week's movie: G.I. Joe: The Movie!
    (02:43:46) - Outro.

    2 hr 45 min
  • 163: Gremlins (1984)
    We've got one more Watchcast for you in 2025, and we're closing out a cursed year the only way we know how: with Gremlins. Join us as we take a trip back to a simpler time when zonked out suburbanites could shrug off the enormous implications of a lifeform like a mogwai in favor of taking cute photos and dumping water all over it.

    CHAPTERS:

    (00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 163: Gremlins (1984)
    (00:00:15) - Intro.
    (00:05:23) - How we all experienced Gremlins back in the day.
    (00:09:20) - Some Gremlins 2 comparison chat, and the wild list of names involved in making this movie happen.
    (00:20:08) - Some production stories and voice cast chat.
    (00:28:54) - Our remaining cast.
    (00:42:04) - Break!
    (00:42:29) - We're back, and it's time to do some shopping in Chinatown.
    (00:49:54) - Welcome to backlot America.
    (00:58:12) - Bringing home a Mogwai.
    (01:02:26) - We told you not to get them wet! It's only been like five minutes!
    (01:07:28) - You can't even trust a science teacher in this day and age.
    (01:14:25) - Gross pods, and a number of check-ins with dad.
    (01:23:02) - We should all be so lucky to have a mother who can dual wield.
    (01:29:27) - Let's kill off all our minor townspeople right quick.
    (01:37:37) - Phoebe Cates, everyone. Let's give her a round of applause.
    (01:40:53) - Burning down the theater.
    (01:43:06) - Not an amazing finale, but definitely an amazing melting puppet skeleton.
    (01:46:45) - Once again, suburbanites cannot be trusted to handle unusual wildlife.
    (01:49:35) - Final thoughts.
    (01:54:59) - A teaser (not full schedule) for next month's movies.

    2 hr 2 min
  • 162: Citizen Kane (1941)
    We do a lot of goofy movies on this Watchcast, but now, at the behest of our own Vinny Caravella, it's time for us to tackle some Important Cinema! Vinny has chosen the one and only Citizen Kane for his movie this month, and it's time to put our film school pants on to decide once and for all if it's an over-hyped disappointment, or really as great as everyone says.

    CHAPTERS:

    (00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 162: Citizen Kane (1941)
    (00:00:14) - Intro.
    (00:05:09) - Picking apart some of what makes Citizen Kane so dang important.
    (00:13:27) - The myriad parodies and loving tributes to Kane peppered throughout our childhood media.
    (00:15:45) - On Welles, and how the film came to be.
    (00:23:23) - Welles' various collaborators.
    (00:33:04) - The Hearst campaign to derail the movie.
    (00:42:06) - Break!
    (00:44:20) - We're back, and it's time to head on down to Xanadu.
    (00:52:26) - Love a good newsreel.
    (00:56:58) - A brief meeting with Kane's second wife, and then we dig into Kane's childhood.
    (01:05:57) - Yung Kane.
    (01:12:19) - Bernstein, and the salad days.
    (01:17:49) - Old Jed, and a marriage in a single breakfast table.
    (01:22:52) - Susan enters the picture.
    (01:25:52) - Will Kane's aspirations ever be knocked down? Yes!
    (01:37:54) - Kane Weds 'Singer', Kane Cans Critic!
    (01:43:05) - Susan spills the beans.
    (01:49:54) - A very bad picnic, and Kane turns his wife's room into a rage room.
    (01:57:11) - What's a Rosebud? Who cares! Take everything!
    (02:03:07) - Final thoughts.
    (02:10:05) - Housekeeping for next week's movie: Gremlins!
    (02:11:38) - Outro.

    2 hr 13 min
  • 161: Escape from New York (1981)
    The Watchcast is back for its final slate of movies in 2025, and this month we're picking whatever strikes our fancy. First up is Alex's pick, a palate cleanser for all the Escape from New York also-rans we've seen this year in the form of actual, honest-to-Snake Escape from New York! Join us as we dive deep into the movie that spawned an iconic character, dozens of rip-offs, and pretty much Hideo Kojima's whole deal.

    CHAPTERS:

    (00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 161: Escape from New York (1981)
    (00:00:15) - Intro.
    (00:08:18) - How did John Carpenter realize his vision of crime-scorched hellscape New York
    (00:26:23) - The insane cultural shadow that this movie cast.
    (00:33:51) - Crime has risen 400%, so New York is a prison now. You don't need to know anything else.
    (00:41:55) - The President is crashing out.
    (00:46:40) - Break!
    (00:47:00) - We're back, and it's time for a quick failed rescue.
    (00:49:44) - Our first introduction to Snake Plissken.
    (00:59:55) - Gliding into the Big Apple.
    (01:03:28) - No matter how bad things get in New York, people will still make time for the theater.
    (01:07:47) - We've got C.H.U.D.S, and also Kurt Russell's (then) wife.
    (01:15:36) - Maggie and the Brain.
    (01:19:09) - Here comes The Duke of New York.
    (01:23:34) - This is a sneaking mission.
    (01:27:35) - The Duke wants his damn map, and Brain figures out where the glider is.
    (01:32:04) - That's Ox Baker's music!
    (01:39:37) - The mad dash to the World Trade Center, then to the bridge.
    (01:46:20) - An even madder dash over the wall.
    (01:48:25) - Snake ain't letting this slide.
    (01:54:28) - Final thoughts.
    (01:59:44) - Our remaining films for the month.
    (02:04:19) - Outro.

    2 hr 5 min
  • 160: Action Jackson (1988)
    Turkey Month is nearly at an end, but before we head out for the holiday break, we've got one more fully barbecued turkey for all of you in the bombasically stupid Action Jackson! Join us as we marvel at Carl Weathers' glistening physique, Craig T. Nelson's inexplicable martial arts prowess, and the cavalcade of delightfully awful one-liners issued before someone explodes.

    CHAPTERS:
    (00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 160: Action Jackson (1988)
    (00:00:17) - Intro.
    (00:05:31) - Action Jackson's blaxploitation inspirations, and how this thing got made.
    (00:13:44) - Cast chat.
    (00:23:31) - Five minutes until flaming defenestration.
    (00:29:08) - The introduction of Jericho "Action" Jackson.
    (00:33:54) - Some of the other assorted cops, and our first meeting with Dellaplane.
    (00:41:33) - Break!
    (00:41:47) - We're back, and it's time to assassinate some more union leaders.
    (00:48:25) - Sydney Ash: medium talent.
    (00:53:30) - Interrupting lunch, and Coach knows karate.
    (01:01:35) - Yeah, sure. Action Jackson can outrun a car. We'll roll with that.
    (01:06:34) - Sharon Stone dies, so now Vanity gets to be in the movie for a while.
    (01:17:03) - Carl Weathers unveils the pecs, and the utterly bizarre pool hall fight.
    (01:23:36) - Sweet Dee.
    (01:25:48) - Billy, you son of a bitch.
    (01:29:03) - From one industrial space to another.
    (01:39:15) - Off to the fancy party for a frame job, and then let's just drive a damn car into a bedroom.
    (01:46:56) - Final thoughts, and list placements.
    (01:52:57) - Next month: It's a Watchcast free-for-all.
    (01:58:21) - Outro.

    2 hr
  • 159: The One (2001)
    Our Turkey month continues unabated! And this week we're visited by several of 125 possible Jet Lis in the profoundly silly 2001 action flick The One! Join us as we talk about Jet Li's various wigs, the finer points of nu-metal, and the tragedy of Jason Statham's American accent.

    CHAPTERS:

    (00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 159: The One (2001)
    (00:00:13) - Intro.
    (00:03:14) - Now that our nu-metal jokes are mostly out of the way, let's talk about this week's movie: The One!
    (00:14:11) - A little bit about the production.
    (00:17:20) - Establishing the multiverses as quickly as we can.
    (00:25:26) - The first kill (that we see, anyway).
    (00:30:39) - Here comes Delroy Lindo and Jason Statham's American accent.
    (00:39:28) - Break!
    (00:39:47) - We're back, and we're in cop universe now.
    (00:46:10) - There's only one Jet Li left to kill, and wouldn't you know it he's a nice guy.
    (00:51:36) - This excruciatingly long MRI bit.
    (01:00:24) - A great cameo with a considerably less-great joke attached to it.
    (01:03:03) - Syncing egg timers and splitting the party.
    (01:11:15) - All these cops milling around, can't find one guy hiding in an attic. 
    (01:13:41) - TK dies, and then it's just a quick stop at the gas station before the final battle.
    (01:18:38) - Let's have a fight in a sparks factory.
    (01:24:58) - Back to cop universe, but we have to do one more mistaken identity bit before we go.
    (01:27:24) - Welcome to bright colors universe, where everybody's happy and your wife isn't dead.
    (01:29:23) - Meanwhile, let's check in on Yulaw.
    (01:32:47) - Final thoughts.Final thoughts, and list placements.
    (01:37:52) - Our movie for next week: Action Jackson!
    (01:40:33) - Outro.

    1 hr 42 min
  • 158: Doomsday (2008)
    It's Doomsday Day on the Watchcast, a day that our own Vinny Caravella has hoped and prayed for ever since we launched this podcast. So join us as we go through Vinny's all-time favorite movie, trying to make sense of its frenetic editing and nonsensical plot, or at least as much sense as it deserves.

    CHAPTERS:

    (00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 158: Doomsday (2008)
    (00:00:14) - Intro.
    (00:07:54) - How Vinny came to this movie.
    (00:11:15) - Neil Marshall, and how he went from The Descent to this.
    (00:19:39) - Some last production notes, and cast chat.
    (00:32:23) - Getting some questions out up top, and the opening salvo of pandemic horror.
    (00:41:43) - Break!
    (00:42:07) - We're back, and it's time to rocket into the terrifying future of 2035.
    (00:51:05) - An impossible mission and a forgettable team tasked with carrying it out.
    (00:55:55) - Let's just go ahead and dispatch most of this team as quickly as we can.
    (01:04:18) - We meet the Prodigy gang.
    (01:10:04) - Dinner and a show.
    (01:19:13) - A mad dash to a surprisingly well-preserved train, and a conspicuous apocalypse bunker.
    (01:27:46) - Welcome to Medieval Times.
    (01:32:40) - Reaper Madness has hit London.
    (01:35:57) - A quick gladiator battle before we're scurrying off the way we came.
    (01:40:59) - Mad Max: Beyond Shame.
    (01:44:12) - Eden gets...revenge? Or something like it?
    (01:54:36) - Final thoughts, and list placements.
    (02:01:04) - Housekeeping for next week's movie: Jet Li in The One!
    (02:04:05) - Outro.

    2 hr 6 min
  • 157: Ghosts of Mars (2001)
    We're kicking off our third annual Turkey Month with a very bad sci-fi action movie by a person who usually makes pretty enjoyable sci-fi action movies, John Carpenter! Ghosts of Mars is the first movie on this month's roster of dumbass action flicks, and boy howdy, is this one both dumb and ass.

    CHAPTERS:

    (00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 157: Ghosts of Mars (2001)
    (00:00:14) - Intro.
    (00:01:32) - Kicking off our annual turkey month with John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars!
    (00:08:52) - How the heck did this movie end up like this?
    (00:12:06) - An all-star cast, mostly wasted on this.
    (00:19:57) - Love these cheap models. Love these matte paintings. The rest? Eh...
    (00:28:00) - Ballard has quite the story, and we meet the team.
    (00:33:46) - Break!
    (00:34:09) - We're back, and it's time to meet Desolation (and some other randos).
    (00:39:25) - Flashbacks on flashbacks on flashbacks.
    (00:46:43) - Heads on pikes. Heads on pikes!
    (00:50:22) - Uno, Dos, and Tres.
    (01:00:43) - The first big shootout.
    (01:07:42) - Oh good, another flashback!
    (01:11:56) - A psychedelic alien freakout.
    (01:15:32) - Big Daddy has a battering ram, and it's time to take off! Or...not?
    (01:25:32) - A bad train fight, wrapping up the flashbacks, and a TERRIBLE note to end on.
    (01:32:19) - Final thoughts.
    (01:36:22) - Housekeeping for next week, and list placements for Ghosts of Mars.
    (01:42:53) - Outro.

    1 hr 44 min

About The Nextlander Watchcast

From the publisher's feed

The Nextlander crew branches out into media that doesn't require a controller to enjoy! Join Alex, Brad, and Vinny as they watch the movies, shows, and anime they've either missed out on up to this…

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