Brandon and I Chat Chit about Resident Evil: Retribution for some reason. 

Zoey Deschanel’s got milk bags. JTT. Will Farrell is a wart on my soul. Take ma pianist, boss. OHGODly food.  Lump crab meat textures. RRRingddingding. Freddy Krueger should’ve been Russian. Alice and Leon need acting school. A school of Nazi piranha zombies. 

More DOTs. We head into WoW by watching Warcraft from 2016, a 28% on Rotten Tomatoes.

The dishwasher needs a break. Deformed Rocky in that Brisk commercial. You remind me of the Enola Gay! From zero to racist in under 30 words.  Shit this and Shit that. I am Ninja! Bathtub nostalgia with siblings. Lothar, Khadgar, and Obendigo. Hard ‘R’s don’t belong in high fantasy. 

We put on our tightest scuba suits to check out Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - The Cradle of Life... 25% on Rotten Tomatoes

Too decent to be good. Ruby poo! Florida: good for bugs. Aaron Paula Dean. Turkey scrote. Google Clones coming soon. Vag whirlwind is Chun-Li’s finishing move. My eye is lazy, but my dick can go forever. Cradle of Life uhh finds a way. It’s a zidgerizoo! 

Brike and Mandon clone up to discuss Resident Evil: Afterlife....23% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Autocare Illuminati. Women and their complex taste buds. Unlimited entrees here at applebees. Andy Serkis is Hong Kong. Robocop has trouble talking. Crows hiding in a biplane. Six degrees of Tony Robbins. You like timepieces, dime piece? Lung mucus and toenail fungus are brothers. 

We zombify ourselves into watching Resident Evil: Extinction. (23% on Rotten Tomatoes) 

We’re doing seasons now! Episode 1 AKA 24. Fishboot. Salmon Sandal. Brike and Mandon. Breyer’s Viennetta are for rich people. Clean these grooves. Loud cartoonish Willem Dafoe farts. The knives of Chin Strap. 

Brandon and I Vroom our way through Need for Speed (2014 - 22% on Rotten Tomatoes)

Best Vrooms. Bonnet Creek, premium whiskey for ladies. I assume that’s what semen tastes like. Mike and Brandon share some spit. I don't hug you, that's boss. Andy Milonakis and Joe C are children. Tobey = Farts. Try our new social media app, Vroomer. Dino is Punky’s Brother. 

Brandon and I make lots of Italian accents while discussing Super Mario Bros (1993 - 21% on Rotten Tomatoes)

Big Hamburger talk. Guatemalan Ginger Bees. The Easter chocolate difference. My mom is friends with Lazy Lana.  Kleehammer was his name-o. My curly Q is in the front! Icy-Hot on the balls! RuddFockers, I have milkshakes Greg. I made my veterinarian say “Holy Shit”. Tell it to the bees. 

This episode we chit chat about Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004 - 20% Rotten Tomatoes)

Pearschundenszeit. Perfume that smells like camels. Ghost stories. Chocolate ham. Try MyDOG™. Swedish Geordi LaForge. The same 13 actors are in all video game movies. Tamara and Tamara. Frenulums are several body parts. Fluid makes my boners. Crunk Juice. MS Spraypaint. 

This episode we discuss Resident Evil (2002 - 34% Rotten Tomatoes)

Crap mortal kombat with monkeys. Giant wheel o cheese. 30 minutes of cheese and hamburger helper. Sphincter door. Manastasia Steele. Cubed Meat Man. Goulash makes a weird noise when you stir it. Beaks and teeth and eyes. Big Johnson T-Shirts all over the place. One liners with an axe. 

This episode we discuss Tomb Raider (2001 - 20% Rotten Tomatoes)

Wompus Tits. It's a bent twinkie. Unicorn urine.  Flick the bean of love. Wasn’t the mom in wishbone kinda hot? Eye doctors are untrustworthy. Name all of Barbie’s sisters go! The quadrilateral of darkness can control your bowel. Brock Lesnar has corn cob pipe teeth. Someone poured magic shell on her breasts.