Hello lovely humans! Welcome to season two of Edugaytion 101. I know I took a bit of a hiatus and I appreciate your patience with me while I navigated life. Here are a few reasons I'm excited for this next chapter of the podcast:
1: We are going to hit some heavy topics. Brace yourselves. Especially if you're religious. 
2. I'm having a handful of guests on to offer some different perspectives and share different experiences that I hope you all can relate to. 
3. As always, I'm excited to offer a little hope that things do work out, that you're not alone on this journey and that you can laugh your way through some of the hard stuff. You are going to be okay. 

Thanks for listening!

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A question that I get a lot is: How do you deal with the bible thumpers? The pulpit pounders? The unbearably loud and preachy gatekeepers of Christianity who keep saying that you'll go to hell for being gay? Long story short, I don't give them the time of day, but this episode dives into a little bit of my outlook on the people who continue to try and use religion and the bible to shame people back into the closet. I hope you enjoy. 

Thanks everyone!

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Ah the Baby Gays. The recently out. The newly instated members of the alphabet mafia. We love them. We roll our eyes at them. We laugh with (read: at) them. But mostly we are confused about whether or not we are one and how we advance past that stage. 

There are a lot of stereotypes surrounding Baby Gays and we'll cover some of those in this episode. Don't take this one too seriously. Enjoy!

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A lot of my podcast thus far has been about some of the more difficult aspects of coming out. This episode was based off of the response to a question posed on my Instagram. A friend of mine asked what the most exciting thing was about being gay/lesbian/queer/not straight/homosexual (whatever you want to call it). This isn't something that I'd necessarily given a lot of thought to, so it was fun to reflect on the last few years of my life and identify the exciting stuff, rather than just the difficult stuff. 

For me, one of the most exciting realizations or aspects of coming out has been that I can feel all the exciting, butterflies-in-the-stomach, head-over-heels type of love that my friends always felt for the males. I'm not saying that I didn't genuinely like  the men that I have dated in the past, but the relationships that I've had with men do not even come close to comparing to the relationships that I've been in with women.

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I talked in one of my episodes about coming out in layers. This episode touches on a separate layer that I didn't really consider until Hannah reached out on instagram. It has to do with appearance and presentation. Looking back I can see where I started making changes in my aesthetic. Subtle changes that eventually lead to my tomboyish, masculine lady that also likes to throw on some mascara and fill in the brows. I don't consider myself to be particularly fashionable, but I enjoy a good button up WAY more than I did two years ago. I have always had more masculine energy and I feel like I'm finally in a place where my outward appearance matches that. 

I've seen my friends have both subtle and incredibly drastic changes in their appearance and presentation after coming out, but the thing I have loved witnessing the most is seeing the INCREDIBLE increase in confidence that comes with wearing clothes that you like and that you find yourself attractive in. Feeling like you need a new wardrobe? I say GO FOR IT. 

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I don't know that I've dealt with a lot of people who are truly homophobic. By "truly homophobic" I mean they really have decided that they dislike someone based solely on their sexual orientation. I think ultimately though, the question is do you want to start a conversation or  be contentious? It is obviously very easy to become angry or upset when someone says or does something that is homophobic, but getting angry and calling them a homophobe and using all sorts of profanity is only going to make them like you less and now they next time they find out someone is gay, all they're going to think about is that absolutely nasty interaction they had with you. 

Do I think your feelings are justified? Sure. It is not fun to hear someone say something negative or derogatory about the gays. Do I think you have the responsibility of opening a productive dialogue with that person instead of cussing them out and causing contention? Yes. I do. There are many who would disagree with me, and that's okay, but you are responsible for how you respond to the world when the world doesn't treat you fairly.

Thanks for listening everyone! 

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When I was growing up, therapy was for people who had *problems*. It was all hush hush and you weren't supposed to talk about it because no one was supposed to know that things weren't all sunshine and rainbows. Turns out, EVERYONE has problems and having an objective third party to weigh in and offer a different perspective is a good thing. 

For my faith/sexuality conflict, therapy was crucial. It involved a lot of me talking to myself (the part of myself that was fighting so hard to not be gay). In this episode I dive into one session in particular that involved me convincing a part of myself -the defensive, protective, self preserving part of myself - that I wasn't losing my soul... I was finding myself, and I needed that part of me to get on board. 

If you've got time, check out the merch: babygaymerch.com
Thanks everyone!

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I don't know when the switch happened. I haven't been able to pinpoint it, but at some point I went from recognizing that I was attracted to women to really embracing that I was attracted to women. I remember my conversations with people started to change. Initially I was very hesitant to tell people that I was dating women and then at some point I just started not being concerned about their reaction. It wasn't a particularly healthy acceptance at first. I was gay and I supposed I was going to burn in Hell and I had just become resigned to my fate. Therapy helped me change my attitude toward that (thank goodness). I was only in the cynical phase for a few months, but long story short: at some point you will move from "I have these feelings for women" to "I am attracted to women and that is a positive thing". 

If you need someone to vent to, or to get something off your chest but you don't feel like you can tell anyone in your personal life, please shoot me a message. You're not alone. 

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I remember a time when I felt stuck and the only possible solution was to run away and start over somewhere else. My perception was that I was hurting people that I cared about by simply existing and I wanted to escape. I wasn't going to tell anyone. I was going to load up a trailer and leave. That was my solution... for lots of people the only possible escape is much darker. 

I'm glad that I stayed. I'm glad that you are staying. There is so much to learn, even though the lessons are oftentimes very painful. I saw a post on Instagram by Jordan B. Peterson that said "Life can be meaningful enough to justify its suffering." I believe that. Yes, there is pain. Yes, there is hurt. But there's also joy and love and light. We create that together. 

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I had a lot of thoughts this past week about my parents and the processing that they must have gone through when I came out. Their experience wasn't something I really thought about at the time as I was incredibly focused on my own pain, hurt and anger. Ideally, queer people wouldn't even have to "come out" but here we are in reality and most people aren't able to just accept the news and move on with life, especially those that are closest to us.  As you come out and try to practice the same sort of compassion towards others that you expect from them. They are also trying to navigate something completely new and a little compassion goes a long way. I personally, went through a phase of grieving the future that I thought I would have. I needed time for that. So did the people that were closest to me. 

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