The Open Nesters

In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we dive deep into the world of open nesting with a returning guest, Vicki Larson, a researcher and writer who is flipping the script on aging for women. She challenges the stereotype that women over a certain age are invisible, irrelevant, or unworthy of vibrant experiences. Larson presents a powerful narrative that underscores the importance of curiosity, agency, and intention, advocating for a redefined vision of aging that’s far from bleak.

We revisit Larson’s groundbreaking work, “Not Too Old for That,” which seeks to change outdated perceptions of aging women. The discussion pivots to the significant demographic shift that will occur by 2030, where older people, particularly women, will outnumber children for the first time, thus raising essential questions about the future for this empowered group. Larson emphasizes the urgency of developing supportive frameworks and inclusive communities that embrace the realities and contributions of older women, allowing them to shape their narratives rather than being defined by societal norms.

20:20  Explore More

37:32 The Power of Friendship

38:39 Living Apart Together

41:53 Closing Thoughts and Reflections

The conversation also probes deeply into personal journeys and financial realities. Larson shares her own experience navigating financial independence post-divorce, which is a crucial aspect of this conversation. She reflects on the societal barriers that have historically impeded women’s financial literacy and security. With stark honesty, she recounts her awakening to the importance of taking charge of her financial future after a long period of being disengaged from the household finances. This revelation resonates on many levels, demonstrating the need for women to forge a strong financial identity that empowers them well into their later years.

In another layer of the discussion, Larson unpacks the internal prejudices women face as they grow older, including societal pressures around beauty and desirability. She poignantly highlights the harmful impact of ageism and the need for women to create positive narratives about their aging. By showcasing examples of women who have reinvigorated their love lives and friendships later in life, Larson encourages women to reject the notion of being “too old” for romance or connection and instead embrace the abundant opportunities that mature relationships can offer.

Throughout the episode, the emphasis remains on community and the importance of connecting with other women who share similar experiences. Larson advocates for cultivating a supportive network where women uplift one another, debunking stereotypes and fostering genuine connections across generations. The discussion culminates in a call for women to reflect on their perceptions and narratives surrounding aging, nurturing a mindset that honors their evolving identities without fear of societal judgments.

Overall, this conversation is a treasure trove of insights and encouragement for anyone navigating the complexities of adulthood. It invites listeners to reconsider their views on aging, friendship, and love—all while embracing the wide range of experiences that life can offer, regardless of age.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

This episode of The Open Nesters Podcast delves into the inspiring journey of Dr. David Freeman, who has transitioned from a successful engineering career to a life dedicated to exploring intimacy and sexual well-being. In this enlightening two-part conversation, we engage with David about the concept of “open nesting”—embracing new possibilities and experiences at this stage of life.

David shares his unique insights on vulnerability, relationships, and the courage to pursue a path of self-discovery. He recounts his previous role as a retired engineer at MIT, where he dedicated 17 years of his life before realizing it was time for a profound career change. Through the lens of his own experiences, he opens up about the estrangement from his daughters and the emotional toll it has taken on him. David discusses the impact of this estrangement and how it spurred him toward self-development, influenced by past guests, such as Dr. Joshua Coleman, who spoke about reclaiming estranged relationships.

As David navigated the complexities of reconnecting with his daughters, he reveals the significant lessons learned about communication and emotional openness. He discusses his introduction to orgasmic meditation, a practice that not only fosters intimacy but also serves as a gateway to greater self-awareness and body positivity. This meditation practice emphasizes being present and attuned to one’s own sensations, allowing participants to revel in their vitality and life force.

Throughout the conversation, we explore broader themes of aging and vitality, dispelling myths around the notion that one’s sexual energy diminishes with age. David passionately argues that our life force is something to cultivate and nurture rather than resign to loss. He emphasizes the importance of integrating pleasure and self-care into our daily routines and how practices like orgasmic meditation can help maintain this sense of vitality.

David also provides a thoughtful perspective on BDSM, presenting it as an opportunity for relational growth and exploration within a safe framework. He illustrates how establishing boundaries and safe spaces enables individuals to address deep-seated traumas and have crucial conversations that might otherwise be daunting or unmanageable.

As we unpack David’s transformative path, it becomes evident that his journey is both a personal reclamation of joy and an outward commitment to supporting others in their quests for connection and health. The episode beautifully intertwines the struggles and triumphs of open nesting, reminding us that it is never too late to recalibrate our lives, pursue new dreams, and ignite our passions.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we dive deep into the dynamic and evolving relationship of Tammy and Josh, returning guests who previously shared their experiences with non-monogamy and emotional intimacy. With a lens focused on the complexities of open relationships, they reflect on their journey since their last appearance and how their connection has grown amidst challenges and changes.

Tammy shares her recent move to South Carolina, which marked a significant transition in her life, both geographically and relationally. The conversation opens with an exploration of how long-distance relationships can remain vibrant and fulfilling, particularly through the lens of non-monogamy. Tammy outlines her experiences navigating dating in her new community and how she joyfully discovered a supportive polyamorous community, enhancing her romantic interactions while managing the emotional complexity of her connections with Josh.

Josh elaborates on his own emotional journey, revealing the struggles he faced with feelings of jealousy. While Tammy started dating someone new, he found himself grappling with the discomfort that jealousy can bring. He emphasizes the importance of communication and emotional vulnerability in their relationship, drawing parallels between his practices and concepts from the book "Polysecure." This idea of facing pain and discomfort rather than fleeing became a pivotal learning point for both of them, deepening their emotional bond and understanding of each other.

The episode further delves into the concept of relationship anarchy, which Josh explains as a way to redefine connections without the societal pressure of hierarchy. Instead of prioritizing romance over other types of relationships, they discuss how important it is to honor friendships and various forms of intimacy equally. This perspective enables them to form unique, custom connections based on their current needs and desires rather than adhering to traditional relationship scripts.

As they navigate their relationship's complexities, Tammy and Josh candidly discuss the challenges of coming out to friends, family, and even their children regarding their lifestyle choices. They reflect on the varying reactions they received and how important it has been for them to live their truths despite societal norms. Their discussions also touch on the significance of emotional labor in relationships, including how to support one another through discomfort without attempting to "fix" each other's feelings.

Wrapping up the episode, both Tammy and Josh express gratitude for the growth they have experienced individually and as a couple. They highlight that emotional intimacy, honesty, and vulnerability are crucial for maintaining healthy relationships, regardless of their form. Their commitment to ongoing communication and mutual support shines as a testament to the deeper connection they share, encouraging listeners to consider the richness that can come from embracing unorthodox relational structures.

In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we dive into the often-asked questions we've received from our dedicated listeners and friends about embracing this unique stage of life we call "open nesting." Rather than viewing ourselves as empty nesters, we embrace new opportunities for adventure, relationships, and personal growth. Together, we explore what it means to be open to endless possibilities, including the evolution of our connection through travel, interests, and valuing our individual journeys.

We begin by addressing the common inquiries around how we navigate our different interests, particularly in travel, and how we've cultivated autonomy while still maintaining a strong bond. Sharing personal anecdotes, we discuss the balance of enjoying experiences apart and together, emphasizing that these separate adventures have significantly enriched our relationship. We've learned to support each other's desires—whether it’s attending conventions or exploring new destinations solo—while positioning our shared trips as a cornerstone of our connection. 

The conversation seamlessly transitions into the deeper aspects of our relationship, including how we maintain emotional intimacy amidst changing dynamics. We reflect on the importance of communication and gratitude, framing our journey through open relationships as one that encourages growth and appreciation for each other's happiness. Addressing potential challenges such as jealousy, we emphasize the value of intentional time together, allowing our love to flourish through curiosity and mutual encouragement—qualities that keep our dynamic vibrant and engaging.

Moreover, we tackle the various stages of life, balancing career pursuits with newfound freedom as we age. Each of us brings unique perspectives on work-life balance and fulfillment. I share insights into my continued professional engagement, while my partner reflects on the joys of pursuing passions without the constraints of a full-time job. Together, we emphasize how prioritizing time for each other, alongside our individual pursuits, lays the foundation for lasting love.

As we wrap up, we acknowledge that navigating this open-nesting stage is an ongoing and sometimes imperfect journey. Yet, it’s through the recalibrations, honest conversations, and mutual respect that we continue to thrive. We express our intentions to engage further with our audience by answering additional questions in future episodes, reflecting our commitment to sharing the wisdom and insights gathered through our unique experiences.

In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we revisit a thought-provoking conversation with Carrie and Stephen Cardenal, experts in coaching and thought leadership. Carrie, the Senior Vice President of Digital Strategy at the Modern Elder Academy, and Stephen, an entrepreneur and author of "Synaptic Alchemy," share insights into their journey of becoming open nesters and the transformative power of love and relationships at this stage of life.

We delve into the idea of open nesting, a concept that transcends the traditional empty nester label. Rather than feeling empty or lost when children leave home, we explore how open nesters can embrace new adventures and deepened relationships. Carrie and Stephen's personal story offers a rich tapestry of experiences, highlighting how they navigated their individual transitions and merged their lives together, creating space for growth, exploration, and joy in their relationship.

Throughout the discussion, we highlight the importance of curiosity and communication in couples' dynamics. Carrie and Stephen reflect on their unique personalities — Stephen as the adventurous Tigger and Carrie as the more cautious Eeyore — emphasizing how embracing these differences can foster stronger bonds. They introduce the idea of "casting a spell" over everyday moments, encouraging couples to transform mundane experiences into joyful and meaningful interactions. 

Their insights on the book they co-authored, "Becoming Beloveds: A Practical Guide to Building Stronger Relationships," shed light on how recognizing and addressing fundamental needs within relationships can lead to richer connections. By applying Maslow's principles to romantic partnerships, they outline how couples can evolve from mere coexistence to partnerships characterized by intention, reverence, and love.

The couple also shares their aspirations at the Modern Elder Academy, where they teach methods for navigating midlife transitions and cultivating purpose. They provide guidance on how to explore values such as adventure and family while planning for the future — a process that can involve global adventures or simply deepening family ties, all while keeping the door open for full-circle connections with loved ones.

Listeners are encouraged to take actionable steps towards improving their own relationships, from identifying love languages to engaging in self and partner exploration through assessment tools. As they underline the necessity of maintaining curiosity in relationships, Carrie and Stephen invite us to consider: what if we shifted our perceptions of love? Could the simple act of referring to our partners as "beloved" elevate the quality of our interactions and fulfill emotional needs?

This enriching dialogue encourages open-mindedness, creativity, and compassion in relationships during midlife, offering inspiration for couples as they navigate their own unique journeys. With practical advice and heartfelt stories, Carrie and Stephen exemplify how to embrace change and celebrate love as we enter the exciting chapter of open nesting.

In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, Tessa engages with Eric Myers, a seasoned counseling astrologer and author, to explore the transformative journey of open nesting—where life beyond raising children opens doors to new adventures and personal growth. We dive deep into Eric's unique background, starting with his early life in Connecticut and journey into spiritual exploration. His experience in transpersonal counseling psychology has shaped his distinctive approach to astrology, where he pairs psychological insights with metaphysical perspectives.

Eric discusses his fascinating experiences as a digital nomad over the past few years, reflecting on how his travels across Europe have shifted his perspective on American culture. Through his lens of spirituality and community, he contrasts the individualistic nature of the United States with the more collective social structures he observed abroad. This exploration serves as a foundation to understand how diverse environments can impact our inner selves and our relationships with others.

Highlighting the shift of becoming an open nester, Eric underscores how this life stage can be a pivotal time for self-discovery, urging listeners to view the empty nest phase not as a loss but as an opportunity for reinvention. He emphasizes how astrology can serve as an insightful tool for understanding one’s spiritual curriculum—unique life lessons intended for personal growth. Eric provides a nuanced view of astrology, steering away from common misconceptions and emphasizing its role in revealing deeper truths about our soul’s journey rather than predicting destinies.

Eric articulates the significance of recognizing our karmic patterns and how they can inform our choices, especially in relationships. Through illustrative examples, he shares insights into how people can engage with their lessons rather than shy away from discomfort. These discussions lead to a richer understanding of how personal growth can stem from engaging with challenges and examining the dynamics we share with partners.

Throughout the conversation, Eric also sheds light on the importance of self-authorship in our later years, encouraging listeners to break free from societal conditioning. He shares practical tools for listeners to assess whether they are operating from a space of personal fulfillment or simply conforming to external expectations. This nuanced view provokes thought on how to reconcile our past socializations with the spiritual desires that emerge during this stage of life.

By the end of the episode, listeners are invited to reflect on their own curricula and consider what lessons lie ahead. Eric notes that various astrological passages experienced throughout life serve as markers for spiritual development, and encourages open nesters to explore these phases as opportunities for deeper understanding. Tessa and Eric conclude the episode with a mutual appreciation for the growth opportunities present during this stage of life, affirming the importance of awareness in navigating the terrain of adult relationships and personal desires.

Tune in for this enlightening conversation that challenges conventional understandings and opens pathways for greater self-discovery and connection in the journey of open nesting.

In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we delve into the concept of open nesting—embracing the opportunities and adventures that arise as we transition into a new phase of life. We are joined by Chris and Charlotte from The Pleasure Mechanics, who share their unique expertise in the realm of pleasure and intimate relationships. This engaging conversation reminds us that the empty nest doesn't have to equate to loss or stagnation; instead, it can be a vibrant opening to new experiences that invigorate our spirits.

Chris and Charlotte recount their journey of love and professional dedication, starting from their meeting in San Francisco in 2006, where their paths intertwined through a shared commitment to erotic massage. They discuss their evolution as partners and educators, emphasizing how their personal and professional lives have shaped their understanding of pleasure, relationships, and intimacy. Through the lens of open nesting, they explore the idea of reclaiming desire and passion, especially after years focused on parenting.

As they navigate their own transitions—balancing the joys and challenges of raising a young child while rediscovering their individual and mutual desires—the couple highlights the importance of open communication and vulnerability in intimate relationships. They candidly speak about their contrasting experiences during significant life changes, such as health challenges and grief, which led them to reassess their sexual selves and redefine their relationship dynamics. Their shared wisdom encourages listeners to embrace and explore their own erotic curiosities while fostering a supportive space for their partners.

The discussion also addresses the landscape of aging and sexuality, debunking myths and celebrating the pleasure that can be found in later stages of life. Chris and Charlotte illustrate that aging does not mean a decline in sexual vitality; instead, many find themselves with renewed vigor and desire to experiment. They invite listeners to engage in mindful practices that focus on half-forgotten pleasures—reminding us that discovering joy in our bodies can be an endless journey filled with growth and fulfillment.

Throughout the episode, the concepts of compersion, jealousy, and the importance of nurturing individual pleasure are interwoven with practical advice—encouraging couples to communicate openly about their desires. They emphasize the significance of exploring both personal and shared joys as a means to foster deeper connections and enhance intimacy. By sharing their vulnerability and triumphs, Chris and Charlotte exemplify how authenticity in relationships can lead to a profound and enriching sexual experience.

In conclusion, this episode inspires listeners to appreciate the power of open communication, explore their desires, and embrace the evolving nature of their relationships. It's a testament to the beauty of discovering pleasure in various forms—urging each of us to acknowledge our needs and celebrate the intimate journeys we can embark upon, regardless of age or circumstance.

In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we have the pleasure of continuing our engaging conversation with Gary and Darcy, who shed light on how they embrace the open nesting phase of life with passion and adventure. As they explore themes of aging, vitality, spirituality, and sexuality, they redefine what it means to be in an empty nest, promoting the exciting concept of being "open nesters"—ready to embrace endless possibilities.

Gary and Darcy share their inspiring journey, diving deeper into how they overcame hardships to cultivate a joyful and adventurous life together. The couple discusses how a near-death experience prompted Gary to seize each day actively, transforming mundane tasks into opportunities for exploration and connection. They reveal their approach to navigating daily life with curiosity, emphasizing that adventures don’t always require extensive planning; sometimes, spontaneity leads to the most rewarding experiences. 

Throughout our conversation, the couple describes their adventures—from wandering through unfamiliar streets in Playa del Carmen to infusing excitement into grocery shopping. By adopting a mindset that embraces the unpredictable, they’ve learned to appreciate the hidden joys in everyday moments. Their stories highlight that adventure can be as simple as allowing an unexpected direction to guide your experience, leading to meaningful moments of connection.

Gary and Darcy also address the importance of vulnerability in their relationship. They articulate how embracing each other's authentic selves has allowed them to experience deeper intimacy, both emotionally and physically. Their dialogue around sexuality reveals a journey of rediscovery, emphasizing trust and open communication as cornerstones of their current partnership. They candidly discuss how transitioning into new relationships later in life offers a chance to explore uncharted territories while navigating the complexities of past experiences.

Further, they delve into the concept of "60 New Things"—a fun goal they’ve set for themselves as they embrace their 60s. They discuss how it encourages them to continuously explore opportunities for growth and excitement, from motorcycle rides to dance camps. Their insights inspire listeners to pursue their desires, reinforcing that life’s stages can be ripe with possibilities for personal exploration and connection.

In this episode, Gary and Darcy model a relationship built on mutual respect, shared adventures, and a deep understanding of the importance of attunement. They remind us that the essence of a fulfilling life—even in the open nesting stage—resides in our willingness to embrace vulnerability, authenticity, and curiosity. Join us for this enriching conversation that not only inspires but also offers practical wisdom for anyone navigating the complexities of relationships and the open nesting phase.

In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, I explore the joy and laughter that come with the journey of aging and the phenomenon of open nesting. Conversing with my dear friend and mentor, Joyce Saltman, we dive deep into the many aspects of what it means to embrace life after our children have flown the coop. Joyce, an inspiring figure who seamlessly blends wit and wisdom, shares her experiences and insights from her life, including her personal adventures in dating, relationships, and the challenges and joys that arise in our later years.

As we reminisce about Joyce's unique perspective, she recounts her journey into the world of dating after her kids left home. With humor, she reflects on the lessons learned from her past relationships, including the societal expectations she faced regarding love and intimacy. Now at 78, she offers a candid look at how she has navigated the landscape of romance and friendship, making a case for being open to new experiences and connections during this vibrant stage of life.

Joyce's enchanting stories are mixed with her deep understanding of intimacy, relationships, and the importance of setting boundaries. We discuss how open nesting is about more than just an empty house; it’s about redefining personal freedom, maintaining relationships with our adult children, and creating new narratives for ourselves. Joyce emphasizes that open relationships, whether romantic or platonic, can thrive when built on solid foundations of trust and communication.

We delve into the delightful topic of sex and aging, where Joyce, with her characteristic lightheartedness, shares her humorous take on the subject. This includes her unique presentation titled “A Humorous Look at Sex and Aging”, where she combines research findings with laughter, focusing on the misconceptions and realities of intimacy as we grow older. She highlights not only the importance of physical affection but also the role of emotional connection—stressing that true intimacy goes far beyond just the physical act itself.

Throughout our conversation, Joyce provides sage advice on maintaining joy, whether through rituals of intimacy, engaging in laughter, or setting personal goals. We touch on the significance of nurturing friendships and the profound impact they have on mental well-being, especially in our golden years. Joyce’s anecdotes about her "husband equivalent" serve as further testament to embracing life’s possibilities, and her infectious spirit encourages us all to open our hearts and homes to new experiences.

In closing, Joyce offers a rich tapestry of humor and insights, reminding us to live fully, cherish our connections, and not be afraid to indulge in the pleasures life offers—be it celebrating the beauty of relationships or simply enjoying a good piece of chocolate. This episode is filled with laughter, love, and the reminder that we have the power to shape our experiences in this third act of life, making it one of the most rewarding chapters yet.

In this eye-opening two-part episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we delve into the transformative journey of our guests, Darcy and Gary, who have successfully navigated the complexities of grief, love, and personal growth in the open nesting phase of their lives. As they share their powerful stories, we explore how they have redefined what it means to edge into new beginnings, emphasizing that being an open nester is about embracing life’s possibilities rather than feeling empty.

Darcy and Gary begin by reflecting on their individual journeys, each emerging from significant loss while fostering a profound personal evolution. Darcy recounts her experience as a double breast cancer survivor, which catalyzed a reckoning with her life choices and relationships. Through a process of introspection and a willingness to surrender, she discovered the necessity of living fully, seeking adventure, joy, and intimacy in her life. Gary, on the other hand, faced the unanticipated death of his wife, which propelled him into a deep exploration of personal transformation. He emphasizes the importance of owning one’s part in past relationships and recognizing the need for continual growth, regardless of external circumstances.

The intersection of their lives occurs shortly after their respective losses. They share how they met through Facebook dating, united by their love for outdoor adventures and a spiritual inclination. Despite the initial doubts about Gary’s readiness for a new relationship following the sudden death of his wife, the connection between them flourished in an authentic and supportive manner. Darcy reveals how her openness created a safe space for Gary to grieve, illustrating the importance of vulnerability and intimacy in forging new connections.

As the conversation progresses, we explore the concept of surrender—how it became essential in both their healing processes. Darcy explains that true surrender does not equate to giving up; instead, it is about relinquishing control over outcomes and trusting in the unfolding of life. She introduces her five core elements for growth: surrender, love, honest communication, developing intimacy, and allowing joy. Gary contributes by sharing the importance of confronting grief and intentionally engaging in personal transformation as part of their shared journey.

Their burgeoning relationship showcases how deep emotional work can lead to intimacy—not just in a romantic sense but in a broader understanding of connection with oneself and others. Each narrator articulates their struggles and triumphs, pointing to the resilience that comes from acknowledging pain and transforming it into joy. They emphasize the unique camaraderie of open nesters, who often bear burdens of grief yet lean into new experiences with enthusiasm and openness.

As the episode wraps, Darcy and Gary express their commitment to maintaining an open dialogue in their relationship. They highlight how continuous support, honest conversations, and shared experiences foster deeper connections. Listeners are left inspired by the authenticity and warmth shared between them and reminded that being an open nester is a vibrant journey filled with the vibrancy of life.

In the upcoming part two, the conversation will shift to their shared adventures, deeper explorations of intimacy, and how they have built a life that celebrates both their pasts and their future together. Through gratitude and transformative storytelling, Darcy and Gary invite us all to reconsider how we approach this stage of life, emphasizing that with courage and openness, we can turn grief into connection and joy.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group