#41 Laziness As Virtue, No Such Thing As Wasted Time & Finally Learning When To Shut Up.

Aka: Wisdom Is Knowing How To Pick Your Battles.

#40 Irrational Fear, Rational Concern & The Full Blown Terror Of Tunnels.

Aka: Peanut Butter Won’t Fix This.

#39 You Got Yer Left Wing, You Got Yer Right Wing, & Still Only Fly In Dreams.

Aka: Juvenile analogies are fine if they still work.

#38 Shaming Jon Stewart, Praising Daniel Tosh, & Self Deprecation As Magnanimous Public Service.

Aka: Taking oneself too seriously is unintentionally hilarious to others.

#37 Personal Flags, Club Flags & Gay Flags.

Aka: what do we gotta do to actually get along?

#36 Blatant Liars, Trusting Repeaters, & How Lies Seem Truer The Further They Float Downstream.

Aka: Do your due diligence or keep your yap shut.

#35 Hate Misdemeanors, Hate Code Violations, & Penalizing Putting Pudding Pops Into Pants Pockets & Purses.

Aka: Your smile is hateful.

Terrible Teenagers, Ornery Old Folks & 3.5 Billion Unintentional Assholes. 

Aka: I pity the foolery of Mr. (Low) T.

#33 Cowardly Zebras, Ridiculous Firemen & Lying Ass Laser Removers

Aka: How dare you seek love & attention.

Skinny Little Arms, Boob-Like Hands & Unable To Run More Than A Block Without Collapsing.

Aka: Guns are definitely, absolutely, no doubt about it, for pussies.