The Partnership Podcast

You’ve been asking, “What’s up with Trey and weed? WHY doesn’t Lauren care when he says he’s going to stop, but starts right up again!? Does weed affect your partnership?” Such great questions and they’re tackling them all on Episode 32!

In her previous marriage, Lauren experienced the harmful ramifications of alcoholism. She also felt the deep pain of trying to “make someone change,” and vowed never to do that again. 

Trey began using weed as a Californian highschooler and it’s been a part of his life ever since. Lauren asks him about belonging, avoidance, consequences, and negative ramifications Trey’s experienced. Then, they turn the tables and discuss Lauren’s alcohol use.

Any substance can be poison or medicine and these two chat about using weed and alcohol to cope, to soothe, to escape, and to heal. 

If you and your partners have different substances of choice, this episode will be a fantastic resource!

If you’d like to unpack co-dependency and your tendency to want to control your partner’s habits, click here to schedule a FREE 15-Minute Consult with Lauren today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult She would love to walk you and your partners into autonomy and freedom of choice!

Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you.

Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠

Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

Well, they did it. They watched the documentary about fundamentalist religion and The Institute in Basic Life Principles on Amazon Prime entitled: SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE. (https://amzn.to/44dDOHP) While The Secrets of Hillsong on Hulu was difficult to get through, Lauren was much more afraid to watch this piece of media as it closely aligns with the life she escaped. 

Trey doesn’t say much on this episode, but if you watch closely, you can see his blood boiling as he gently asks question after question to more deeply understand Lauren’s lived experience. 

If your partner comes from a faith structure that indoctrinated them to believe that they are deeply depraved, we highly recommend watching this documentary for your own benefit. They say a picture says more than a thousand words and for Trey and Lauren this was absolutely the case. Through SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE (which they consistently call the wrong name) Trey was able to learn about: homeschooling, parentification, courtship, headship, absolute authority, corporate and familial discipline, abuse, emotional repression, gender roles, total depravity, and control.

Lauren tells story after story and Trey shares that he now understands why her face sometimes changes to that of a child’s when she feels she has made a mistake.

If you are also a survivor of Religious Indoctrination, click here to schedule a FREE 15-Minute Consult with Lauren today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult She would love to walk you and your partners to freedom and joyful expression of yourselves!

Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you.

Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠

Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

Episode 30 finds Lauren and Trey right in the middle of an incredibly fragile morning full of fear and worry. After several months in physical therapy for a hamstring injury, Lauren was encouraged to get an ultrasound of her ovaries to check for the possibility of ovarian cysts. While this is a common frustration for people with uteruses, Lauren's grandmother died of ovarian cancer and her nervous system took a tailspin at the possibility.

Well, friends, this episode jumps immediately into the "intimate" details of a recent hike Lauren and Trey went on! If you do nothing else, make sure you watch Lauren's mortified face at minute 2:54! Also, if you think this episode is all about Hillsong, guess again! These two dive into shame, erotic imagination, cheating, love bombing and more!

Trey stumbled into the room when Lauren was watching the Hulu documentary, “The Secrets of Hillsong” this week and got sucked in! So, they’ve made an episode out of their initial thoughts and reactions so far! 

Like all episodes of The Partnership Podcast, this one starts off on a completely different note, with Lauren sharing some of her recent fears and growing pains as the owner of Sex Ed for You. They talk through the logistics of sharing struggles in partnership, and Trey’s tendency to want to “fix” it. 

A favorite moment from this episode is at minute 19:10 when they discuss the term, “my wife” and how every time Trey jokingly uses this phrase, Lauren’s skin begins to crawl! 

Don’t miss minute 20:40 where Lauren talks about a recent ‘real life’ experience of this whole system in action.

Ready for some nerdy sex education? Skip ahead to minute 28:12 where Lauren reintroduces the concepts of Reaction Formation and the Pedestal Paradigm! She breaks down how and why they matter for those in positions of authority inside of churches!

If you are also healing wounds and unpacking from Purity Culture or Religious Trauma, Lauren would love to work with you! Click here to schedule a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult

Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you.

Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠

Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

Episode 27 is one of the most accidentally personal episodes Trey and Lauren have recorded so far! They begin their chat having no idea what they're gonna talk about and end up discovering how interconnected the birth of SEX ED FOR YOU is with their love story. 

At minute 2:20, Lauren begins her highlight sharing a very exciting announcement and by minute 2:58 she's jumping right into storytelling! Trey recalls his personal and raw journey to realizing how deeply he still wanted to be with Lauren after leaving Virginia and returning to California during the 2020 pandemic. Lauren shares the huge mistakes she made while he was gone and how SEX ED FOR YOU would not exist had he not sent one specific text message. 

Trey's highlight at minute 18:51 is going to shock you. ;) Just kidding. BUT after he talks about his golf wins, he ignites a fascinating conversation about sexual energy and how we are often turned on by our partner's personal perusal of their dreams and goals. 

Trey talks about receiving a sexy photo from Lauren at minute 19:50 and his choices in that moment to "meet her energy" or not. At minute 32:30 Lauren goes on to share how watching Trey complete household chores while she worked at the computer turned her on and visibly decreased her mental load - leading to incredible sex! 

They talk about their phrase "can you save it for me," and at minute 30:12, Lauren’s foolproof technique of harnessing your CET (Core Erotic Theme) to "get in the mood" for sexual encounters with long-term partners. 

We hope you enjoy this intimate episode and if YOU would like to discover your CET or learn more about pushing through vulnerability and into amazing sex! Click here to schedule a FREE CONSULT today! https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult⁠ Lauren would be honored to walk with you and your partner to discover what good sex means to YOU!

Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you.

Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠

Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

Episode 25 dives right into the bedroom! Lauren's recently been rereading Ian Kerner's book: SHE COMES FIRST and she has some juicy questions for Trey. 

But, before they launch into the subject of communicating their way to better and more patient sex, Trey shares one of his favorite phrases, "Are you asking for advice or do you want me just to listen?" They discuss why this term has been so helpful to their partnership and Lauren even goes so far as to say that, "If we cannot feel vulnerable enough to communicate with our partners, there is no way that our sex is going to improve. Because better sex requires better communication."

Throughout this episode, they discuss female arousal times and even tell a story about a recent work day where Lauren had to embrace the slow build, fight feelings of inadequacy, and trust that there was plenty of patience for her AND that Trey would communicate if he needed to be done.

Since Trey has not read Ian's book (spoiler!) Lauren asks him to share where and how he learned to provide oral and manual pleasure to the vulva and clitoris.

Trey asks Lauren how she moves through personal frustration when arousal is taking longer than desired, and she shares how she avoids using negative phrases at all costs! They both realize that their favorite go-to-phrase is, "are you comfy?" This code allows them both to continue chasing pleasure while checking in with the other's body. 

They discuss the power of coaching one another up in the sex they want and HOW they want it and close this episode out by sharing the power of celebrating the unique sexual desires of all humans.

If you’d like to learn how to understand YOUR process of arousal or how to communicate what you want in the bedroom, schedule a FREE 15-minute consult with Lauren today! https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult⁠ Lauren loves equipping couples with tools to communicate their sexual needs, wants and desires!

Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you.

Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠

Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

On Episode 24 Lauren and Trey dissect a recent question from the audience that asked, “What if we don’t share the same goals?” Buckle-up, because they’re gonna take you on a wild ride! 

At minute 8:57 Lauren shares how MANY of her clients are going through similar struggles right now as one partner deconstructs their evangelical faith, and another seeks to retain their beliefs. What IS the most loving thing to do? 

They discuss one of their favorite terms, “interdependence” at minute 10:45 and how far it extends. They ask so many questions including: What happens when our goals involve a community that doesn’t include our partner? What happens when that community casts judgment on our partner? What happens when our personal goals threaten the well-being of our partner? 

Does interdependence mean alignment with your partner’s autonomy or their goals? Are you trying to push your partner to a breaking point so that you can vilify their actions? Are you trying to shape your partner's values? At minute 28:17 Lauren shares just how detrimental it can be to try to control another person and then at minute 29:21 she suggests how letting someone go, while heartbreaking, may be the most loving option at times. 

Trey closes us out with a zinger, sharing that before we can make any decisions about partnership, "we have to trust ourselves first." 

If you’d like to make more values-based decisions inside of your partnership, schedule a FREE 15-minute consult today! https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult⁠ Lauren loves equipping couples with tools to communicate and celebrate their partnership!

Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you.

Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠

Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

On this Episode Lauren and Trey share about a recent instance where Lauren's body reacted negatively to Trey's mention of porn use earlier in the day. Despite "knowing" the benefits of porn and having a Relationship Agreement (Episode 5) that celebrates sexual privacy, Lauren's body still retains body-based sex-negative beliefs that reside in her due to decades of Purity Culture indoctrination. AND THERE IS SPACE FOR HER PAIN.

Trey shares how he felt when Lauren's body responded negatively to his open-hearted sharing and how they worked their way through the moment without further harm. And Lauren shares how she is slowly moving away from self-criticism into curiosity.

Intertwined with these thoughts you'll hear discussion of Lauren's recent fascination with embodied porn usage and ways to use porn that make for greater enjoyment of partnered sexual encounters!

Is porn causing pain in your relationship? If so, Lauren would love to chat with you about ways to heal and integrate! Schedule a FREE 15-minute consult today! ⁠https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult⁠⁠ She loves equipping couples with tools to communicate and celebrate their partnership!

Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you.

Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠⁠

Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/ ⁠to launch your podcast today.