The Pitch

Quick Note: My schedule was upended by my move, so this is September's second premium episode of Abject Suffering. There will be two more Exquisite Suffering episodes coming out this month. I apologize for the confusion. - Kole

If you say the word "Pokémon" nowadays, people will stare at you gape-mawed, because nobody remembers this long-forgotten Nintendo franchise. Its plunge into obscurity was caused by Pokémon Dash, a kiddie racing game for kiddies that completely ruined the Pokémon name.

It can beat you with one dimension tied behind its back.

Is it green or red!?

Let's hear your responses to Quest for Glory II, Callahan's Crosstime Saloon, and not Gabriel Knight 3!

Support Watch Out for Fireballs!

Kris and Kole talk about empathy prosthetics, the commerce of comfort, and unwise thrift.

ALSO: The Full Tremaine. Elementary school art glasses. Moving travails. Don’t put the whole story in the headline. Safe alcohol consumption is a myth. The worst lap dance song. How to rig up a “Party” button. CDC warns against line-drying condoms. Period privation. A shitty terrorist ruins a 7-11. The Germans cannot be trusted with weather machines.

Links:

• The Happiest Mug Shot