The Positive Mind

Ask yourself, "What am I saying "YES" to that I want to say "NO" to but don't?"

Saying "NO" is an important tool in setting boundaries for yourself, and establishing your own identity. We invite you to look at where you can say "NO" in your life that might help increase your feeling of being free while maintaining your mental and emotional health in a positive way.

What do Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., The Dalai Lama, and Michelle Obama have in common? It is possible that in their younger lives they were encouraged to attune to the feelings and needs of others to the detriment of themselves. When these personality types are unbalanced, they can prove to be difficult and challenging partners because they become seemingly impossible to get close to. Functioning always from a gut instinct perspective can often result in self-created conflict, chaos, and rigidity. However, because of these very wounds, their search for stability through equality, peace, and improving society on a structural level has brought their ideals to the forefront, creating universal change.

Join Kevin and Niseema as they complete this 3 episode journey with a discussion of the "Gut" Triad. The Challenger 8, focuses on challenging the rules and the people in their environment; The Peacemaker 9, lives to bring peace and harmony to their environment; The Reformer 1, focuses on what is imperfect in their environment and seeks to set it right.

Our personality, temperament, and relational style are complex and sometimes can feel like a trap. The search for safety is one that starts from a young age, especially if the home you grew up in was somehow dangerous, unstable, or unsafe. The hidden wounds of the Investigator 5, the Loyalist 6, and the Enthusiast 7, reflect a deep, relentless fear, based in insecurity.

Kevin and Niseema continue the journey with the Mind Triad Types, and show how we adopt certain behaviors as children to manage the fear and insecurity of our environment. When you recognize the type of person you have become, or are the type of person you are in a relationship with, you have the opportunity to relate to yourself and others with compassion and empathy.

Tune in next week to learn about the Challenger 8, the Peacemaker 9, and the Perfectionist 1.

Are you someone who gives of themselves but never really feels like you can receive?

Do you relish achieving goals and then feel a kind of emptiness?

Kevin and Niseema explore the effects of childhood trauma on adult patterns of behavior and self defeating habits. Using the Enneagram personality typing system, they review the 9 Types and go into depth about the wounds of the 2 (The Helper), and Type 3 (The Performer/Achiever). Understanding the core essence that got lost under the pain is a way to transform your relationship to yourself and others. Tune in next week to learn about the Type 4 (the Artist), Type 5 (the Investigator/Observer), Type 6 (the Loyalist), and Type 7 (the Enthusiast).

Our guest, Dr. Lisa Miller, Ph.D., author of, "The Awakened Brain: The New Science of Spirituality and Our Quest For An Inspired Life," returns this week to explain how depression can be the key to a spiritual awakening. Dr. Miller says that the hallmark experience of depression is marked by a loss of connection to self and others but it is also a sense of not being held by a force or presence greater than yourself. Depression can be treated as something we wrestle with, or it can be viewed as an invitation to a reigniting of our "awakened brain," by connecting with ourselves and those around us. Join Kevin, Niseema, and Dr. Miller as she leads us through two visualization exercises that help us experience our "awakened brain," providing an opportunity for spiritual growth.

Following up on the last week's show on Hygge, the Danish art of feeling good, Kevin and Niseema welcome Dr. Lisa Miller to talk about how the brain responds to Hygge and other pleasurable experiences. In her book "The Awakened Brain: The New Science of Spirituality and Our Quest For An Inspired Life," Dr. Miller shows us that when a person talks about a spiritual experience or a feeling of connection, fMRI scans show an increase in blood flow and the brain takes on a reddish color. Conversely, when participants were asked to tell a sad or depressing story, blood flow in the brain was constricted. Dr. Miller explains that the reddish brain reflects a kind of awareness called "Awakened Awareness," and that the brain is capable of shifting states and feelings based on what you are thinking and experiencing.

This week Kevin and Niseema talk about the Danish word "Hygge," which is a way of creating comfort and ease in your life. It is amazing how many ways we can create more comfort and ease in our daily rituals, from how we wake up in the morning, to how we live our day, to how we go to sleep.

In the winter season, there are so many ways to add pleasure to our lives, like wearing cozy wool socks, to making a cup of hot apple cider or hot chocolate. For the Danish, Hygge is a way of life, which explains why they are one of the happiest countries in the world.

Kevin and Niseema welcome Dr. Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D. back to discuss her book, “Zen and the Art of Falling in Love.”

Following up on last week's show, Dr. Shoshanna talks about how everyone says they want to be in love but are addicted to the habit of staying separate. Brenda talks about the practice of "Zazen," which is simply sitting still, noticing your breath, watching and not reacting to your passing thoughts. Similarly, in love, Brenda teaches us not to react to our passing feelings and emotions of the moment, but to simply commit your spirit to a flowing forward in love.

This week Kevin and Niseema welcome Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D, psychotherapist, Zen practitioner, speaker and author of the book, “Zen and the Art of Falling in Love.” Brenda shares with us her journey and understanding of how every person we meet can teach us how to love. In sharing this, she shows us ways that we can love without judgment, shame, or blame.

In this week's show, Kevin and Niseema talk about how "programming" in childhood can lead to inflexibility as an adult and a low level of resilience. Most often, children are programmed through negativity: "Don't do that. Don't touch that. Don't complain." This can force a child to create a "good child" persona that causes them to detach from a feeling self. They will carry this "good child" persona into adulthood, and lose the capacity to be real to themselves or any future partner. Kevin and Niseema talk about ways to undo this terrible and destructive syndrome.