The Post-Divorce Glow-Up Show

I share why I’m pausing this podcast at Episode 78 and shifting my focus toward women’s healthcare and midwifery. Then I close our Embodiment series by making “spiritual” practical: intuition in plain language, movement that feels safe, tiny rituals that actually fit real life, and a gentle seven-day plan to try right away.

What I cover

• Why I’m pressing pause and where you’ll still find me (Britta Jo’s Stay or Go community and her Substack; occasional guest spots)
• What “spiritual” means to me (no dogma, high honesty, body-based presence, and wonder)
• The difference between spirituality and religion (authority, beliefs, practices, belonging)
• Four doorways into daily embodied spirituality:
  1. Intuition & “going into myself”
  2. Movement & breath (three-song practice)
  3. Creativity & voice (micro-writing / voice notes)
  4. Nature & awe (awe walks and everyday noticing)
• Nervous-system first: green/yellow/red as a guide for any practice
• The RITUAL framework (Rooted in safety • Intention • Tiny • Unique cue • Accountability • Loop it)
• Obstacles & repairs: loneliness, the inner critic, religious trauma—how I respond without abandoning myself
• What success actually looks like: softer shoulders, steadier breath, a faster return to “I’m okay,” clearer yes/no

Seven-Day Micro-Plan (recap)

• Day 1 – Intuition Minute: two physiological sighs + one honest line (“What do I know right now?”)
• Day 2 – Movement Trio: Arrive → Loosen → Integrate (or one song if that’s all you’ve got)
• Day 3 – Awe Walk: notice one pattern, one color, one texture; end with one “thank you”
• Day 4 – Voice Note (5 min): what hurts / what feels good / where is my hope
• Day 5 – Tiny Altar: one comforting object placed with intention
• Day 6 – Co-Regulate: time with a safe person/pet; notice before/after
• Day 7 – Gain Review: what shifted 1% and what I want more of next week

Mentions & references

• Invisible Labor by Rachel Sommerstein (C-sections and the stories around them)
• Elizabeth Gilbert’s weekly “Letters From Love” essays
• Stay or Go Community with Britta Jo and her Substack
  
  

A gentle ask
If this series helped you, share this episode with a friend who’s rebuilding after divorce.

PostDivorceGlowUp.com

Email: [email protected]

Quinn opens with a Halloween full-circle moment—house full of kids, step-siblings, laughter, candy—and pivots into the heart of Part 3: pleasure and boundaries as part of healing. We name common post-divorce patterns (fawn, freeze, “loneliness bargains”), ditch the shame, and use a simple order—Safety → Curiosity → Consent—before any touch (solo or partnered). You’ll learn quick downshifts, the stoplight check (Green/Yellow/Red), how to build a Yes/No/Maybe list (hello, kink jars), a gentle sensate ladder (pleasure over performance), real boundary micro-scripts, and a 7-day plan you can actually do.

What You’ll Learn (pulled straight from the episode)

• Why “low libido” can be freeze (not a flaw) and why fawning in bed is a survival pattern—not a moral failing.
• The Safety → Curiosity → Consent sequence (and why the order matters).
• How to downshift in 90 seconds (physiological sigh ×2 + orienting).
• The Stoplight Rule (Green = go, Yellow = slow/check-in, Red = stop/repair).
• Building consent with yourself first (Body-Yes / Body-No).
• Creating a Yes/No/Maybe list (using “kink jar” style menus for clarity).
• The Sensate Ladder: non-sexual zones → torso/hips/thighs → optional sexual zones only if it’s Green.
• Aftercare basics: water, warmth, slow breaths, kind words—“Thank you, body.”

Boundary Micro-Scripts (use verbatim)

• “I’m a yes to ___. I’m a no to ___. I’d like ___ instead.”
• “Pause—I need a breath check.” / “I’m yellow right now—slow down, please.”
• “No to that tonight; yes to cuddling and music.”
• Dating: “I don’t decide in the moment. I’ll text you tomorrow.”

Sensate Ladder (practice, not performance)

• Days 1–3: Non-sexual zones only (hands, face, scalp, neck, shoulders, arms, calves, feet). Explore texture / temperature / pressure (silk, lotion, warm shower, etc.).
• Days 4–6: Torso, hips, thighs—linger and notice.
• Day 7: Optional sexual zones only if Green. Ask: “What makes this 1% more pleasurable?”

7-Day “Pleasure Without Pressure” Plan

1. Build your Yes/No/Maybe list (context + touch).
2. Body Compass with non-sexual touch (2 min).
3. Sensate Ladder Step 1 (hands/forearms/feet).
4. Boundary rehearsal—say your lines out loud.
5. Sensory shower/lotion ritual (play with texture + temperature).
6. Co-regulation date (friend, pet, nature); notice before/after.
7. Aftercare ritual + journal: “What felt 1% safer/more alive this week?”

Quotes You Heard

• “Our bodies are not problems to be solved; they are homes to be tended.” — Hillary McBride
• “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.” — Audre Lorde
• “You don’t earn pleasure by being good. Pleasure is a birthright.” — Quinn

Related Episodes (mentioned)

• Ep 49 — Vitamin O: Get Yourself Off, Get Your Life Back 
• Ep 34 — Pleasure Is Mine: Claiming Your Sensual Self
• Ep 30 — Strategies for Feeling Safe Post-Divorce
• Ep 24 — Understanding and Healing from Marital Rape

Book Mentioned: No More Assholes: Your 7 Step Guide to Saying Goodbye to Guys and Finding the Real Man You're Looking For. 

PostDivorceGlowUp.com

Email: [email protected]

Quinn unpacks how the nervous system asks one question all day—Am I safe?—and why fight/flight/freeze/fawn are wise survival patterns (not personal failures). You’ll learn fast, gentle regulation tools (physiological sigh, orienting, butterfly hug, vagal “voo”/humming), see them in action via pop-culture and literature examples, and leave with a 7-day plan to widen your window of tolerance. The aim: move from bracing for impact to breathing easier—then building a calmer, safer life you actually enjoy living in.

What You’ll Learn

• Embodiment = biology: Your body is a home to be tended, not a problem to fix (Hillary McBride).
• Survival patterns are smart: Fight/flight/freeze/fawn kept you safe; now we teach your body new safety.
• Complete the stress cycle: Don’t power through—release (Levine): breathe, shake, sigh, settle.
• Co-regulation matters: Calm spreads person-to-person (think Ted Lasso).

Fast Practices (Try Today)

1. Physiological sigh (20–30s): Inhale → tiny top-up inhale → long slow exhale (2–3x).
2. Orienting (30–60s): Turn head, name 5 things you see, 4 touch, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste.
3. Butterfly hug (60s): Cross arms, alternate taps L/R while breathing slowly.
4. Vagal “voo” or hum (45s): Inhale, long chest-vibrating “voo” (or hum) 2–3x.

Pop Culture & Lit Mirrors

• Inside Out 2: Anxiety tries to control everything → name it, breathe, integrate (not exile).
• Ted Lasso: Panic softens via breath + safe people (co-regulation).
• The Bear: Unfinished cycles = alarms (tight jaw, shallow breath); the body keeps score.
• Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God: Janie’s embodied “yes/no” as sovereignty.
• Mary Oliver, “Wild Geese”: “Let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.”

Mini Playbook for Divorced Life

• Text from ex detonates: 1 physiological sigh + orient; reply later from safety.
• First date freeze: Bathroom → butterfly hug 60s → decide from regulation.
• Co-parenting flare: Hand to heart + “voo” twice → This is my boundary. 
• Lonely Saturday: 5-minute sensory walk → call a safe friend/pet time.

7-Day Nervous System Plan

• Morning (1 min): Physiological sigh ×3 or butterfly hug.
• Mid-day (30s): Orienting—name 5 things you see.
• Evening (2 min): Gentle shake-out + humming/“voo.”
• Connection (3 min): Text/call a safe friend or sit quietly with a pet.
• Boundary rep (one line): “I’ll need to think about that and get back to you.”

Quotable

• “Our bodies are not problems to be solved; they are homes to be tended.” — Hillary McBride
• “Trauma isn’t in the event, it’s in the nervous system.” — inspired by Peter Levine
• “You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” — Mary Oliver

Resources Mentioned

• Hillary McBride — The Wisdom of Your Body
• Peter Levine — Waking the Tiger (Somatic Experiencing)
• Deirdre Fay — Becoming Safely Embodied

Content Note

Mentions of religious conditioning, sexual coercion, panic/anxiety. Please go at the pace of safety and pause anytime.

Call to Action

If this helped you exhale, share it with a sister who needs a calmer nervous system and a softer Saturday night. Rate + review + subscribe so you won’t miss Part 3: Reclaiming Touch, Pleasure & Boundaries.

 Questions or resources? Email [email protected]
 

PostDivorceGlowUp.com

Email: [email protected]

Quinn kicks off a month-long series on embodiment—the practice of living in your body with safety, honesty, and aliveness—especially after divorce. We explore why so many of us disconnect (hello, codependency, fawn, freeze, dissociation), why that was smart survival, and how to start coming home to yourself with gentle, doable steps. This is about belonging to you—not performing for anyone else.

What You’ll Learn

• Embodiment 101: It’s awareness and presence—treating your body as your home, not a problem to fix.
• Why we disconnect: Trauma responses (fawn/freeze/flight), cultural conditioning, and the “read-the-room” life.
• Trauma in the body: “We can’t think our way out; the body needs to metabolize it.”
• A kinder story: Your nervous system wasn’t weak; it was wise. Now we help it feel safe.

Three Gentle Practices (Try This Week)

1. 60-second Grounding: Feel your feet, drop your shoulders, slow breath, whisper: “I’m here.”
2. Journal Prompt: When do I feel most alive in my body? (Don’t overthink—notice.)
3. One-Minute Presence: Choose a daily task (coffee, shower, walk) and do it with all five senses.

Favorite Lines to Remember

• “Clear is kind.” — Brené Brown
• “Your body is not your enemy. She is your home, your compass, and your connection to the divine.” — Quinn

Resources Mentioned

• Gabor Maté — The Myth of Normal
• Bessel van der Kolk — The Body Keeps the Score
• Hillary McBride — The Wisdom of Your Body
• Peter Levine — Waking the Tiger (Somatic Experiencing)
• The House of My Mother — memoir by Shari Franke (referenced in the episode)

Content Note

We touch on trauma, spiritual conditioning, sexual coercion, and medical ER anecdotes. Take breaks as needed; go at the pace of safety.

Series Roadmap (What’s Coming)

• Part 2: The nervous system—reading your body’s language of safety & simple regulation tools.
• Part 3: Reclaiming touch, pleasure, and boundaries—sensuality without fear.
• Part 4: Embodiment as a spiritual practice—living grounded, intuitive, and fully alive.

“Embodiment after divorce isn’t a makeover; it’s a homecoming. One breath, one heartbeat, one gentle moment at a time. #PostDivorceGlowUp #EmbodiedHealing”

Call to Action

If this episode helped you exhale, share it with a sister who’s ready to come home to herself.

PostDivorceGlowUp.com

Email: [email protected]

Quinn and Britta Jo sit down after Britta’s first Stay or Go retreat to explore what women are truly craving—real connection.

From Brené Brown’s words—“we are neurobiologically hardwired for connection”—to stories of women finding sisterhood in the messy middle of divorce, this conversation dives into what happens when women finally stop trying to “do it all alone.”

Together, they unpack:

• Why the absence of connection always leads to suffering—and what that really means.
• How patriarchal and capitalist systems have broken women’s bonds with one another—and how we’re rebuilding them.
• What healthy female community actually looks like (and how to find or create your own).
• The science behind social support—why we’re literally stronger when we have someone by our side.
• Lessons from the Stay or Go retreat: bunk beds, laughter, tears, and the magic of being seen, heard, and held by other women.

Quinn and Britta reveal that connection isn’t about rescuing or fixing anyone—it’s about witnessing one another in truth. This episode is a love letter to sisterhood, softness, strength, and the healing web that holds us when we fall.

💬 Quote of the Episode:

Listen if you’re:

• Craving depth, belonging, and community after divorce
• Wondering why independence alone doesn’t feel fulfilling
• Ready to build (or rebuild) meaningful female friendships
• A woman reclaiming her own way of knowing, healing, and rising

Links:

The Stay or Go Community

Strong Ground by Brene Brown

IG Reel (mentioned in the episode)

PostDivorceGlowUp.com

Email: [email protected]

In this raw and electric episode, Quinn cracks open what it really means to live in the messy middle — that in-between season where you’ve left the old life but haven’t yet stepped fully into the new.

You’ve filed the papers, moved out, maybe even bought new sheets… but somehow, you still feel stuck. This week, Quinn pulls together science, soul, and straight talk to show you that you’re not broken — you’re charging.

💥 In this episode:

• Why the middle feels like both everything and nothing is happening
• The action potential of the nervous system — and how it mirrors your emotional readiness for change
• How being “under your therapeutic threshold” (in hormones and healing) keeps you looping in self-doubt
• Why support, truth, and courage are the real voltage boosters
• What weightlifting and micro-tears can teach you about growth after divorce
• A no-BS reminder that you’re not a victim — you’re in training
• How to spot the safety lies keeping you comfortable but small
• And the key question: Where in your life are you just below threshold?

This episode is a wake-up call wrapped in warmth — equal parts neuroscience, midlife hormones, and post-divorce tough love.

🎧 Listen if you’re:

• Separated, waiting for clarity, and craving momentum
• Tired of “doing all the things” but feeling no spark
• Ready to lift heavier — emotionally, spiritually, and maybe in the gym too

PostDivorceGlowUp.com

Email: [email protected]

In this episode, Quinn cracks open Yuval Noah Harari’s Sapiens and shows how its central idea—that humans rule the world because we can create and share stories—directly applies to divorce.

Marriage? A story. Divorce-as-failure? A story. Myths about women’s value, motherhood, and happiness? Stories.

Quinn weaves history, Harari’s insights, and her own lived experience to reveal how deeply we’ve been shaped by cultural fictions—and how liberating it is to see them for what they are. Divorce doesn’t make you broken; it’s your personal Cognitive Revolution, your chance to rewrite the myth and live into your most beautiful life.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Why marriage and divorce are cultural myths, not biological truths
• How the story of marriage has shifted across history—from property deals to love matches
• The myths divorced women are handed (and why they’re total BS)
• How to name, question, and rewrite the stories that are shaping your post-divorce life
• Why divorce is not failure—it’s evolution

If it’s all just story, then babe—you get to write the next chapter.

Links:

Awake by Jen Hatmaker

Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari 

PostDivorceGlowUp.com

Email: [email protected]

In this week’s episode, I dive into An Immense World by Ed Yong and what it teaches us about life after divorce. Aristotle may have told us we only have five senses (he was wrong about that and about women), but neuroscience shows we actually have 20+ ways of perceiving the world.

And here’s the magic: divorce is like being dropped into a brand-new sensory universe. The signals you relied on in marriage don’t apply anymore—you get to recalibrate, upregulate, and expand your perception of life.

We’ll talk about:
 ✨ The hidden senses you didn’t know you had (like interoception and proprioception)
 ✨ Why boundaries are essential to avoid sensory overload after divorce
 ✨ How to listen to your inner compass and follow your true north
 ✨ Turning “stuck” moments into grounding, stabilizing ones
 ✨ Seeing divorce not as the end, but as a doorway into an immense life of awe, curiosity, and freedom

Babe, your post-divorce life is bigger, brighter, and more expansive than you’ve been taught to believe. You are immense.

PostDivorceGlowUp.com

Email: [email protected]

Quinn gets real about estrangement: when a child requests no contact, how do you keep loving without self-erasure? In this intimate conversation, Quinn shares their experience with an adult son who cut contact in November 2023, the grief of “losing someone who’s still alive,” and the radical shift from controlling outcomes to controlling self: nervous system care, boundaries, honest self-inventory, and clean apologies grounded in Pete Walker’s framework.

Key takeaways

• Two truths can coexist: “I can love you and block you.” Boundaries are love when they protect everyone’s nervous systems.
• Control the controllables: your home’s safety, your emotional regulation, your integrity, your consistency for the kids who are present.
• Own your part—without self-erasure: apologize for your missteps, not for your values (e.g., leaving a religion or a marriage).
• Clean apology framework (Pete Walker–style):
  1. Name the harm specifically → 2) Take full responsibility → 3) Express real empathy → 4) Offer repair → 5) Commit to change.
• No “but” in the apology. Anything after “but” deletes the apology.
• Grief is not a problem to fix. It’s a process to honor while you keep living a life you’re proud of.
• Pour love somewhere safe: if direct contact isn’t available, journal letters you may never send—offerings without hooks, guilt, or demands.

Action steps

• Write a one-page self-inventory: “What I did,” “Impact it had,” “How I’ll do it differently now.”
• Draft one clean apology (even if unsent). Keep it under 150 words. Remove every “but.”
• Create a nervous system boundary plan: What messages/emails you’ll read, when you’ll pause, and who you’ll call for support.
• Start a love ledger (journal) for the estranged child—write monthly from a grounded state only.
• Build a present-kid ritual (weekly breakfast walk, game night, study date) to anchor the family you do have access to.

Gentle reminder
Estrangement is complex. Get therapy or group support if you can. Protect your safety. You don’t owe access to anyone who is actively harming you—even if you love them.

CTA
If this episode helped, share it with a mama in the thick of it. Rate/review to get this message to more post-divorce women.

PostDivorceGlowUp.com

Email: [email protected]

Quinn opens with a personal update on last week’s co-parenting conversation with Britta and why the extended chat now lives on Britta’s Substack. From there, Quinn digs into a hard question: How do we ethically glow up when Gaza, Sudan, Ukraine, ICE raids, creeping fascism, and inflation are part of daily life?

Her answer: a glow-up ≠ vanity. It’s alignment. It’s choosing where to invest (time, money, energy) and where to divest (relationships, brands, beliefs, guilt) so your life becomes a living declaration of your values. Quinn shares practical examples—from food rescue and ER volunteering to “dance-party therapy” with her kids—plus historic and modern stories of women who glowed under pressure. The close is a rallying cry: You can’t do everything, but you can do something—and that something matters.

Key Takeaways

• Glow-up = alignment. It’s not lashes and Pilates; it’s integrity, clarity, and courage.
• Invest intentionally: community care, ethical spending, practices that keep you strong (therapy, journaling, lifting, rest, prayer/meditation, movement).
• Divest strategically: from draining relationships, exploitative brands, misaligned dating, and the guilt of “not doing enough.”
• One for me, one for we: each day, do one thing that resources you and one thing that serves your community.
• Your portfolio can change. What you invest/divest in will shift with seasons, capacity, and callings.

Mini-Guide: Invest & Divest Checklist

Invest

• Mutual aid / local volunteering (food rescue, shelters, community fridges)
• Showing up (school board meetings, public comment, court support)
• Women-/BIPOC-/locally-owned businesses
• Nervous-system care (therapy, journaling, lifting, nature, sleep)
• Connection & joy (weekly dance party with the kids, friend dates)

Divest

• Relationships that chronically disrespect boundaries
• Brands that profit from exploitation or environmental harm
• Conversations/partners misaligned with core values
• Doomscrolling that drains action
• Guilt for not doing everything

Practical Prompts (Journal or Voice Note)

1. Values audit: What 3 words define my current season?
2. Spending scan: Which 2 merchants this month reflect my values? Which 1 doesn’t?
3. Time audit: What will I lovingly say no to this week to make room for a deeper yes?
4. Daily duet: What’s one thing for me today? What’s one thing for we?

Resources & Links

• Britta’s Substack episode (full co-parenting conversation): HERE or listen to the first 15 mintues HERE
• Find a local food rescue / mutual aid: search “[your city] + food rescue,” “[your city] + mutual aid”
• ER/hospital volunteer programs: check your local hospital’s website under “Volunteer Services”

Try This This Week

• 5-minute money check: Move one recurring purchase to a local or values-aligned option.
• Text two friends: “Volunteering Saturday 8–10am—want to come?”
• 30-minute joy move: Solo dance party or walk—notice how your body wants to move.
• One email of courage: Decline a misaligned commitment without over-explaining.

PostDivorceGlowUp.com

Email: [email protected]